Post-Processing
Checking in

Untitled, for Lack of a Title

Once again, I am blown away by the response to Monday's post. (I would link to it but my head feels like it is about to split open and I'm trying not to spend much time looking at a computer screen. Or read. Which means I am typing this entry while staring at the ceiling. I am n0t kiddign.) And once again, it sounds so trite to simply say, "Thank you for all your comments and emails." But...thank you for all your comments and emails.

I'm still a bundle of emotions and opinions about That Thing From Monday. Let's recap!

DENIAL!

I think they may be full of shit. Like a lot of you mentioned, when you go looking for problems, you're going to find them. Especially when it comes to sensory processing disorder. If I said, no, Noah doesn't usually sit still and read books, he likes to tear around the house like a linebacker who just won big at the dogfight, they'd tell me that oh my goodness, your child is not processing sensory movement properly and is seeking extra sensory input with a constant need for motion.

Since Noah does sit still and read books, well oh my goodness, he's seeking to lessen his sensory input because he isn't able to control his body in space.

I just made all that shit up, by the way. Please don't use this blog as a diagnostic tool for SPD. The only real guidance I can offer is that one about the weevils.

But seriously. They asked if Noah was "clumsy." If he "tripped a lot" or "fell more than other children his age." HE IS A TODDLER. ONE WHO TODDLES. I couldn't quite figure out what yardstick they were comparing him against. Yeah...he...falls. Don't...toddlers...fall? Sometimes? What is sometimes? What is a lot? What day is it, and is it noon yet, because dear God, I would like some wine.

ANGER! GAR SMASH!

Seriously, WHY? Why is this happening? Why me, why my baby, why why why whyyyyyyy. I have really tried to avoid the sad little pity party over here, since my God, get a grip, it could all be so much worse.

And a lot of mothers have emailed me with Worse. I've read all about Worse. I'm exceedingly grateful that  y'all are so understanding that Worse doesn't matter when it's your child. You're entitled to a little myopic thinking every now and again, at least at first.  Or maybe at first, and then again whenever the next layer of the special-needs onion (parfait? onion parfait?) gets peeled away.

SAD! VERY SAD! BOO HOO WITH SIGN LANGUAGE TEARS!

I spent a few hours with my friend on Monday. Her son is two months younger than Noah. And oh, man -- all spectacular progress aside -- he's left Noah in the dust. He talks in sentences and paragraphs. He can tell you what he did that day and what he did the day before. He'll ask to sit on the potty and tell you which animals live at the zoo and which animals live on a farm. He'll ask me where my dog Sahba is, whether Jason is at work, whether Noah would like some juice.

Every once in awhile Noah would wander over and join the conversation.

"ABALL!" he'd announce, holding...yep, that's a ball, baby. Good job.

Sigh.

ACCEPTANCE! BELEAGUERED, TIRED ACCEPTANCE!

Fine. Weekly speech therapy, weekly occupational therapy. Can't hurt, might help.

Fine. Maybe Noah does wobble a little more than most kids. Maybe he is a little old to be tripping over his feet as much as he does. Maybe 25 months is a little old to finally be celebrating baby's first zerbert.

But I like my kid the way he is. You can call it a disorder, but I know.

Img_8387

I know perfect when I see it.

Comments

chiquita

I'm not a mom (yet, my baby's in utero) but I think you're doing great. feeling all the feelings, and putting one foot in front of the other (and hey, we all stumble and fall sometimes.) Noah is clearly a happy boy and once this is behind you you'll be able to look back and see how you helped him to grow and develop.

drea

I love the "I do all my own stunts" shirt. And his hair in that picture is full of awesome.

Bethany

You just gotta keep on truckin.
In my opinion your doing a great job as it stands.


Bethany
P.S. just heard of 2 neat websites I though you might like.

www.frombagstoriches.com
www.bagborrowandsteal.com

ladybug

Babies and toddlers all progress at their own rate. Noah will catch up. My daughter is two months younger than Noah and while surprisingly verbal does not speak as well as your friend's child (should I be worried?).

Don't worry, he will catch up when he's ready and in five years you'll be wondering how to get him to 'oh, please, just stop talking and making noise and moving at a gazillion miles per hour in every direction all at the same time'! And you'll look back at this time with fond memories. Mark. My. Words!

B

Okay, well, I was CERTAIN my second was behind. Perhaps SPD, perhaps autistic. She was so very different from my first. My first who is social and conversational. The girl who could talk the ear off of Larry King.

#2, not so much. Likes to read. Alone. Likes to play. Alone. Participates in family life when SHE is in the mood. Dr. agreed. Something "off."

Six months later my dad, not knowing what we've been through says, "Goodness, she's me reincarnated." Turns out, she totally is my dad. Talked to Dr., says it's "possible, not probable." Talk to her preschool teacher. She's normal. Now we're just going to let her be and see what shakes out. I don't want to diagnose her personality as some disorder, ya know?

But you are right, you are allowed to be myopic and throw a pity party. And I'm allowed to wish nothing but good things for your family. Which I do.

tuesday

Perfect he is!

lindsayc

So with you right now. Eamon is speech delayed too - no SPD that we can find. But still delayed. We switched cups, blew bubbles all summer and flash carded him to the point he refused to talk. (the sign language thing we started at birth, so at least I had that covered. am anal. and thought it would HELP ME who had no idea what she was doing!!) Bit by bit it is working. At 30 months he is now testing in the "normal" range for vocabulary. However, I still worry all the time. (Wah what else are we/ am I doing wrong?)

I guess the lesson is to do the best we can with the resources we have and give them all the love we posses. And you know, I hope he will be fine, most days I am certain. But it does have me watching my 5 month old like a demon. sigh.

Linnee

He is perfect in every way. I'm the mom of 4 grown kids and nonna of three (almost 4). And I know perfect.

Sure, it could be worse, but it's relative. It could also be better. No wonder you're asking why.

It is so healthy for you to express your feelings. ALL of them.

You are doing a remarkable job mothering that beautiful little boy.

mk

He is perfect! Happy, beautiful and smart! That is what you remember! All kids have something- one way or anothe rin their lives and it never takes away form how perfect they are! You are blessed! And i guve you hugs for having to deal with this!

Becca

Not all two year olds talk. Really. I worked in a two-year-old room at daycare, and not very many of them spoke in sentences, many of them showing me "aball!" I'm sure the weekly sessions are worth it and good, and hopefully they help. I'm sure Noah is fine and will be fine (and is most definitely perfect). BTW, I LOVED the newest pictures. He might be the cutest boy that ever lived.

Kristen

Again and again, you both blow me away. Noah is perfect, and I'm beginning to think you are too!

Cassandra

Damn straight.

Ginny

Thanks for making me cry, Amy. You're right. You do know perfect. We all adore your sweet, perfect little boy. And count me in as another mother of a slow-to-talk boy. We did an early childhood pre-school and either that or good old development set in and I have a very chatty (& smart & sweet) 10 year old on my hands. Obviously so many people have been through something similar and we all appreciate your candor.

Julie

My oldest didn't speak until age 3. Just grunted and pointed. Didn't walk until 16 months. He is 14 and the smartest and most athletic of all 3 kids. My daughter had trouble with letters and numbers so she was tested in 1st grade and diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder. She has an IEP with the school system and has never used one accomadation she is entitled to. By the way she is now in the 7th grade with straight A's in advanced classes. Again, without using the accomadations she is entitled to with her "disability." Like someone else said, If you are looking for a problem you will find it. Embrace the interventions Noah is entitled to and know that he is perfect.

Katie

amen to that.

Janssen

I think he's perfect too. And if he does have a "disorder," I can't think of a family more willing to help him get the help he needs than you and Jason.

Julia

My youngest brother didn't walk until he was 17 months and didn't talk until at least 2. no one really noticed because he was #4. He has a full body tremor which means he can't write. Now he is the VP of Human Resources for a large hotel/resort in Florida. Kids are resilient, they all learn stuff at different ages and they learn to compensate and adapt where they need it. Noah is wonderful and will be just fine ~ he has just the right parents.

hello insomnia

Sing it, sister. Also? My son has that shirt and it is so fitting.

thejunebug

Every baby is different, just like every person is different. Noah is the most perfect Noah he could ever be because right now he's 100% HIMSELF. You're giving him help and opportunities, yes. But in the end he will always be perfect, lovely Noah.

Chrissy

Hey, I'm 33 and I trip and wobble a lot and that's when I'm sober! What does that say about me?

Noah is perfect, sweetie.

Hang in there.

Rebecca

for the record, I used to teach kindergarten, and every child is different. Each has a unique strength and weakness. and it looks to me like Noah's strengths far outweigh his weaknesses.

Neena

Okay. I'm going to cry.

Noah is awesome and you're even more awesome for seeing that! You've heard all the advice there is to give - so I'll just say to hang in there and keep loving your awesome little man!

Nosaby

I think we are just hyper aware these days. On one had it's great because it gets kids services early but on the other hand it makes parents crazy. No matter how Noah turns out he will be just perfect. And I bet there are plenty of parents out there who would love it if their kid liked to sit and read books instead of tear around the house.

MichelleRenee

It's ok to get at little sad and the denial thing always makes me feel better.


Jennie

We see perfect too.

Lucille

Your reaction is completely normal and you need to go through all the emotions your body is asking for. Be strong - it is why we are women.

Hugs....

zdoodlebub

You keep rockin' all those stages, girl. Noah needs you to - just the same way you need to process it all for yourself. It's all to make you the best for him, for you, for whatever lies in your shared future. Noah's going to be fine. He's just dragging you along on his own journey. Try to keep up without having a nervous breakdown - and believe me, I know how hard it is.

Lucy

This blog might be useful.

http://www.schuylersmonsterblog.com/

laurel

It makes me happy that you are, in fact, happy with your child "the way he is." As you already have graciously acknowledged, there is a Worse. There is also the vague idea that not all children progress at the same rate, regardless of their parents' anxious expectations. As a linguist, and one who has seen many children through my university who have simply not been read to, and have suffered (as well as ones who have been exposed to everything, earnestly, as far as say...sentence diagramming with colorful sounds and images) I can say this: just stop. Let him have another year to breathe before you start sighing.

Heather

Heh love the static electricity in his hair, and the Tshirt! I'm so glad you do realize how incredibly precious he is, and perfect - so damn perfect - regardless of developmental hiccups.

Colleen

That's what is the most important. Noah's Mommy thinks he's perfect. And the attention that he'll get through speech therapy and occupational therapy can help him... and it can help you. Zoe was in physical therapy when she was 6 months old. Every week when the therapist left I felt like I had a new way to help Zoe's progress. Just keep on loving your perfect boy!

All Adither

I joined this late, but I think he might just be developing at his own pace. My nephew is similar to Noah.

Perhaps you're just too aware of things. Sometimes I suffer from that malady.

Maxine Dangerous

Oh my GOD, how did I miss the weevil entry?? That was some seriously funny shit. I loved that I could actually hear Steve Irwin's voice in my head when I read his -- er, I mean, Dirwin's -- responses. :) All bugs are disgusting and must be killed on sight.

DAMN, that's a cute kid. Stop with the awesomeness already! :)

Abra Leah

Okay, I haven't been replying much since you already know my background (ASD teacher, behavior specialist for those who don't know me). But, I wanted to tell you that part of the "issue" is the whole parent reply thing.

Given my degree in psych and my nearly 10 years as a special educator you would think that when ECI came to evaluate my own daughter I would understand the test questions. But, seriously -they are looking for certain answers. Answers I didn't always GET. For instance, they asked me, "Does Chloe speak in a whisper?" I took that to mean, "Is her normal speaking voice a whisper?" Hells nah, she's loud and incoherent, yo. Then one therapist looked at the other and TSKED and said, "Oh, she can't even whisper." Um, wait - she has the capability to whisper if she so chooses. So, see, I was confused.

That was at her 30 month eval and she tested delayed by MONTHS in every area.

Almost 1 year later, ear tubes in, ECI over, and she's yammering away and actually qualified for the gifted program. So, booyah, she can so whisper!

Anyway, just something to think about. :)

Stimey

Hell, yes. Perfect. I have a neurotypical 2-year-old, and a delayed, quite possibly autistic 4-year-old. I see so much of my guys in this post. (Like the 2-year-old yammering away, and the older one busting out with the 4-year-old version of "A ball!"

And you know what? I wouldn't trade my special ed guy for anyone. I think it's part of what makes him such a cool kid.

Different? Yes. Perfect? Hell, yes.

Laura

Really - my son did not start talking until after his third birthday. And he's the world's most stellar first grader. Therapy will probably help him along - he'll probably think it's fun - and it will keep you (hopefully) from wringing your hands too much. He's a little behing developmentally but I can tell by looking - there is nothing wrong with your boy!

AmyC65

Comparisons. They suck. They hurt. They hurt us, they hurt our kids, they hurt our feelings towards ourselves and our kids. Stop comparing. You & Noah are great and you're having ABALL.

Kari

I am not a mother and therefore have no firsthand experience to share, but I admire the way you write on this subject.

I tend to echo the sentiments of those who say "every child is different." It would be so very boring if every kid was the same. I think the vast amount of resources on the internet tends to force a comparative analysis of every kid. It is like the playground just got really, really enormous and there are millions of kids to compare and contrast in search of the one perfect kid.

Which you already have. As do millions of mothers. Yours is just really goddamn cute.

Michelle

I'm sure you already know that I am a HUGE Noah fan (and Amy cheerleader) but thought I'd remind you. You rock for sharing your experience and for being honest about how it is making you feel. Thanks so much for that. :)

Lady Z

We have a 23 year old daughter who walked on her toes until age 3.At two we went to Children's Hospital. Children's said she had mild Cerebral Palsy. They wanted to cast her legs so she would stop toe walking. We sought another opinion, he said stretch her calf muscles every night. We did this for six month and she stopped toe walking. She was later diagnosed as "gifted and talented".

Take advantage of the free therapy but don't be too discouraged.

MMM

Honey, he IS perfect!! There is so much NOT wrong with him! He's so amazing and healthy! He's a beautiful boy and I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You see him, though, and I thik the rest of us do, for what he IS! He is Noah. He is Noah-perfect!

QueenBee

Oh my gosh. That last part pretty much made me cry. I "Aww"ed out loud as my eyes welled up. Because he is perfect, but don't blame those who can't see that. I know you've been through a lot, but Noah? He's the most adorable child I've ever seen. And you're one of the most loving mothers I've ever seen.

Milehigh

My son had all the therapy for developmental delays: speech, occupational, physical, even horse back riding therapy. He failed his last evaluation. You see, he would not kick a damn soccer ball on command. He must be broken. Fail. Later in the day he went to my older son's soccer game. He kicked that dang ball ALL OVER THE FIELD! Take that, PT! I never took him back to therapy after that. He is 5 now. He's very smart - I think he's a genius, but in reality probably average. He is still not the most graceful kid - probably will always be a bit clumsy. It's okay. He's perfect in my eyes.

Anyway, I guess I just want to reiterate that I am a firm believer in the benefits of therapy. However, I also think that it is very possible that in their zeal to help they will find something wrong with your child – something that really isn’t ‘wrong’. If I was analyzed like that - I would surely fail in many areas. Nobody ever accused me of being graceful.

By the way - that kid Noah was playing with sounds abnormally advanced. I would not use him as a measure of normalcy.

Your boy is beautiful.

Laura

Not that this will ease any worries - but I still trip over my own feet more than most folks. Hell, I fell off the stage at my high school graduation (ahem, completely sober mind you!).

He's gonna be fine honey. Worrying gets you nowhere...besides worried. Enjoy him being two! It'll never come again.

Papa Bradstein

Noah is perfect, and you're the perfect mom for him.

Kristabella

Noah is perfect.

And um, hello, I'm 30 and I fall. A LOT! Wanna see my bruise?

I'm not a parent, and I never know what to say, but what I do know is that the love you have for that kid is awe-inspiring. So don't do anything different. Evah.

Jeanette

My son has been in speech and resource since he was 2. He is now 8 and still has some very small underline issues.

When he was small I went throught the same thing you are dealing with, there where all kinds of speech and motor skill issues.

I always kept this in mind!

How many 16 year old kids, fall over, unless drunk of course, walk on there tippie toes. Or are not able to talk or use a complete sentence. Well I'm sure there are these kids, but that a whole other story. You know what I'm saying and with age, comes compensation along with just plain old growing up and out of it. This is what has happened for my Matt.

Noah, he IS perfect in everyway.
And when he is 20 years old he going to be just a normal good lookin guy.

So get him the help he needs, roll with the punchs and before you know it he will be a graduate from high school.
Enjoy your little guy it goes by FAST.

Hey, that all the advice I can give raising both my boys.

Noah is a cute, smart little toddler who falls down. Just like the rest of kids. Who race around the house never sit still and drive there mother crazy.

kelly

Awwww. You're an awesome Mom. You're helping Noah yet loving him exactly as he is. Kick ass.

Kristie

Even with all the imperfections our kids have, they really are all perfect. No matter what.

Jessica

He IS perfect. He's Noah.

SJ aka Simple Family

My kid isn't THAT much younger (just a few months). He can say "ball" and "milk" and "hi." He likes to grab "his junk." And he trips a lot. Really. A LOT. As in "Get the damn kid a helmet and body protecting gear" a lot.

This isn't about the SID but about that hey, it is okay if your kid isn't blowing by the other kids in language skills and whatnot.

Besides, I keep waiting for the day my kid grabs his balls and yells "ball!"

mandy

And he IS perfect! ANd gorgeous, and precious. And perfect...

Mandee

Perfect is right! And while we're making comparisons, may I just say that Noah left my nephew (9/7/05) in the dust months ago in the singing department. That kid can sing! On pitch! In tune! I'm still flabbergasted.

willikat

he is so perfect. don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

Big Mama

That hair alone proves his perfection.

supertiff

oh, amy.
i don't have any kids, so i know i don't have the right to really say anything at all.
but, i'll say this: you are an amazing mom. all of my friends have kids, and i always get caught saying "well, amalah just wrote about..."
i've been rather silent on my blog lately, due to some issues that i don't really feel comfortable sharing with the public, even though they are much less big of a deal than, say, discussing any perceived imperfections of my own offspring.

what you are doing here?
i think it's the whole point of the internet.

i know that doesn't make it better...
but, i remember hitting refresh over and over after you went to the hospital to have noah.
and i know that i'm only one in a lot-of-thousand. we all love him so much, and we all love you so much for being strong enough to share all of this.

i'm usually the most pessimistic person that i know, but i really can't imagine there being a sad ending to this story.

noah is perfect.
and the fact that you share him with us is even better.

thank you.

i know this is really sappy and terrible, but thank you.
really.

thora

And that's what I thought when I saw the post yesterday - this kid is perfect.
He is so freaking perfect, and his family is perfect.
Those smiles were done in front of a camera - and presumably y'all don't bring a chair out to the field and smile on a regular basis...
but the smiles were real. They couldn't be staged - and that's why your photographer was able to do such a great job - because she's got a great medium:
One beautifully wonderful family.

It's good you're getting the assistance that's being provided. But, yeah - maybe we have one too many diagnostic tools available today.

Noah is fantastic - whomever Noah is.

Hey, when he grows up can he sign his name, "Noah Corbin Storch, SPD," like an MD or RN or PhD would do?
That'd be cool.

(For the record, I'd have a lot of suffixes.)

Sarah sensiblysassy.blogspot.com

Even though this is one of the toughest things you will go through it will teach you just how powerful love is. I don't even know you but it's evident-you are full of love for this little man! Hang in there.

Maria

You know? He is perfect. So what if he hasn't hit all the milestones that others have - and might need a bit of help? I think that you and Jason are greatfantasticbrilliant parents who are doing everything they can for a child they utterly adore. He will get there - and then you will be wondering why you stressed...

Meredith

Ok, I know this is completely a tangent, and I agree with everyone who applauds the differences in kids, but what strikes me most is how fearless you are, Amy, in trying these evaluations and therapy sessions, not knowing for sure if they'll help or not, but wanting to not leave one stone unturned in order to give Noah the best possible start.

My best friend is a speech pathologist who specializes in swallowing. She has mostly treated the elderly in nursing homes or accident or stroke victims in hospitals. Now, she's starting to work with kids and went to some training recently. They shared stories of kids who would only drink juice or eat cheese. These kids had no real eating issue of their own, but their unwitting parents, in order to make mealtime work in their household, had unknowingly gone along with food preferences until suddenly they are shocked to realize that there is a serious problem.

So, Amy, I applaud you, for stepping out of your comfortable routine, to NOT be the supermom who feels that since her child is so magnificent (and Noah IS magnificent!!) and their routine works for them, that there is no need for intervention.

I know there are lots of folks who might disagree and lots of examples of kids who turned out just fine. And, I also believe in a gut feeling, that there are moms who just know their kids are fine, even when the tests show otherwise. But, I also know how scary it is to ask for help. Kudos, and keep writing about it. It makes me a better mom to hear what you're going through.

suitep

I've been telling you this since I first fell in love with Noah. He IS perfect. He's everything he needs to be. And more. He's Noah.

All that other stuff is bullshit.

Helen

Here I go again with the 'I know it all' assvice. Seth is 7, he is brilliant, did that whole talking at 9 months things, at 2 he told me that chameleons should be primates because they ahve thumbs. HE blows me away BUT he has absolutely NO clue about emotion, see someone fall over ' should watch where you're going there buddy huh?'
See mother weeping because skin condition has her in bleeding welts ' Stop scratching then' easy. He allows stroking at bedtime but try and get a snuggle in the daytime....ACK GET OFF ME WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I am convinced that HIS of aspergers, although on the face of it isn't actually stopping him getting on in life,is going to be so much harder to help him work through than Isaac's, ISaac is the 'registered as disabled' asperger boy, from the age of 18 months if he saw someone fall over or hurt he would offer his 'Lello Ba' ( yellow blanket), stroke a leg and say " de-buh, awwww de-buh, buh buh" He is kind and sympathetic, has many friends who have always, from day one of nursery ( when he was a freaky weird kid who couldn't say a word) have loved him and acceoted his strange behaviour.
I am going on I know but ( one more) on sports day this year, I watched in wonder as my child, who refused to wear PE kit ( until Sept when he just GOT CHANGED AT SCHOOL AND JOINED IN LIKE HE HAD BEEN DOING IT HIS WHOLE LIFE!!) would not join in, would not jump or roll or run...well I watched him guide every other child, I saw them allow him to show them what THEY should be doing, lead them to the next obstacle, point where they were next expected to be, push gently on the back towards the leaping horse thingy. They love him, they choose him to be on their team even though they know he will not join in.
They crack up at the fact that he NEVER answers the register, think it is so cool that he never tells the teacher if he is packed lunch or Hot dinner.
He gets invites and everyone understands that mummy has to come too because he is unable to walk through the door without me.
One playdate he had, we got to the house and he just could not go through the door, Levis mum just left the front door open and walked away, Levi waited by the front room window until I told Isaac that we may as well go home if he couldn't go in...he ran through the door, up the stairs and yelled " LEVI" as he passed the front room door. Levi said not a word, just went to find him.
Seth has one 'friend' and doesn't get invited to parties or tea at Harry's house. I am so much more sad for Seth than Isaac.
What I am trying to say is this....if I could choose I'd pick the kissy quiet one everytime because they get it, they understand playing and loving and life. I worry about my brilliant computer head kid because although he will grow and quite possible make huge amounts of money from some whizz of a career, will he have any buddies to go and celabrate with? Will he have a wife he can actually love and share joy with? I KNOW Isaac will.
Noah is so funny and loving, he GETS it, he enjoys being loved and played with and could care less whether he can converse with the brilliantly verbal buddy he has because HEY!! ABALL! Fun.....shut the hell up and PLAY WITH ME! which is what 2 is about. Amen.

Nila

It just doesn't seem right that the word "disorder" is being used to describe such a beautiful child.

My son used to toe walk and would spin and spin. He didn't speak until after 3 years. He also prefered to sit and read books. He couldn't deal with overly active children and was so different from the boys his age. They never actually diagnosed him,and he just kind of grew out of those issues. He's 11 years old and is just now starting to act like a hyper, annoying boy, jumping off the couch and stuff. He was always so calm, prefering less physical activties. I think that's just him. He's different, and that's okay. It doesn't mean "disorder" or delay or any of that other crap.

Your beautiful Noah will be okay.

Kathy Gillen/ lessons from the laundry

He is perfect, just the way he is supposed to be at this moment.

The friend's son sounds advanced. My friend used to just laugh when my daughter at two would talk. She's like, "Umm, yeah well Dillion said, 'want ball' today." And my daughter was into full sentences. They all develop differently.

I have a severely disabled child. Never feel that you have to justify an emotion. It is part of the process.

Lady S

No babies here, so I can't tell you about how my child also didn't talk .

But as an elementary school teacher I can tell you I am glad you are getting help for your son now and not waiting until he is in 2nd grade and then blame the school.

He is going to be a wonderful contributing member of society, no matter how much he fell over as a child.

Kristin

It's funny, last night I was watching my Sam (just turned 4) and thinking about you and Noah and wondering if a specialist were to come to my house and watch him what they would say. I know there's nothing wrong with him, other than the fact that he's 4 and 4 year old boys are, well, weird. 2 year olds are eveen weirder! We are all so different and unique and everything works out in the end. You're right about when you look for a problem, you'll find it. I don't mean I think you should just stop all the therapy and whatever but I just want to remind you that kids are quirky. Noah is perfect. Sam is perfect. You and I are perfect.

Zoot

Just for the record, NikkiZ is not speaking anywhere close to complete sentences. She puts words that only I understand together to form complete thoughts. Sometimes. But that's it. Oh - and she's calling me, "Kim." I have no idea what that means.

Just wanted to throw in another color for the spectrum of speech development.

Jeanette

Ever see the movie "Parenthood"? There is a line in the movie about life being like a roller coaster, and how really, isn't the rollercoaster more breath-taking than the carousel that just goes round and round, nothing special? Enjoy the roller coaster....don't wish for the carousel.

tracey

I didn't read all of the other comments, and I hope they help you more than mine does as I just want to say hang in there. He KNOWS he's loved. He KNOWS he's accepted. And, really? 30-50 years ago? People wouldn't have thought twice about a toddler that took a little longer to get to the milestones. It still sounds like he's close to the normal range, and just needs a LITTLE help. Hang in there, mama.

Kyla

In regards to LOTS of the above comments, I agree that there is a wide range of normal...but I am a strong advocate of early therapy, because I know what a difference it has made to us. I'd rather err on the side of too much help, than not enough. And state programs don't tend to award therapy unnecessarily.

And you are right. That Noah is perfectly perfect. And gorgeous. Can't forget that either.

Jeanette

By the way, you are right about "looking for problems"...Reminds me of the whole ADD/ADHD diagnosis frenzy-like, where was that when we were kids? Not saying it's not valid, but come on-EVERY five year old is somewhat ADD....get my drift? He is a TODDLER. That's why they are called that.

Ree

That boy's only disorder is an overabundance of cuteness.

Isabel Kallman

yes, he's perfect.

Liana

Perfection he is- no arguments here! (And I'm STILL blown away by his reaction to the Giving Tree. Makes me tear up every time I think about it. He is one incredible little boy.)
I also wanted to echo the people who have said Thank You for sharing all of this with us and being so honest. :)

MeL

I have to say, everything you have said about things Noah does that make them think he's SPD? Yeah, Tobin does them, too. Maybe because he is my second kid, and because I was so worried about Jack the first time around, I am quelling the impulse to call in the intervention. He'll catch up when he is ready.
Remember that Einstein didn't speak until he was like four years old! Noah is perfect. If you ever want to get the perfect kids together, I am but an email away. The day Toby said turtle ("tuh-tull") I nearly wet my pants with joy. Of course, the neighbor kid can say Czechoslovakia, but fuck that. Tobes will get there when he is ready. And so will Noah.

*ramble ramble ramble*

Summary: Madd Crazy Good Support Vibes in your direction. One day Noah's going to tease you about thinking your son, curer of cancer, was a little behind the power curve.

cath kelly

Your son is gorgeous. What is a three month lag now when he is only 25months compared to a three month lag when he is 216 months? Perhaps time will even things out, and the road will fast track. But, if not, would you change a thing about him now if you could.

just don't lose heart

problem girl

Hey! Our kids have the same shirt!

Amy

Hang in there and remember that your instincts are worth at least as much if not more than the "expert opinion". (My son would still sometimes fall when he was 4. For no reason, no tripping over something, he's just walking along and he falls. It was very weird and funny. He's not even an uncoordinated kid. They are all different...)

lisa

I too have a kid with "issues". And the worry just sucks. Full stop. My daughter is almost 21 months and started having seizures when she was 4 months old. Her particular seizure disorder results in 70% of kids having moderate to severe mental retardation. When I first heard that, I spent a month in the pits of depression. I mean, how could you not? 15% of the rest have mild retardation and the other 15% are developmentally normal. I thought, no way I would get so lucky to have my child land in that 15%.

She has been in EI since she was 6 months and it has really helped, but it hasn't been fun. I can't tell you how many hours I've spent pouring over my copy of the developmental chart they use to track her progress, trying to determine how far behind she was, if at all.

The amazing thing is that so far, she's pretty darn normal. She walked a little late at 17 months, but that's still within normal range. She talked a little late, and strangers can still only recognize about 2-3 words of hers, but she's still within normal ranges.

And yet when we meet other kids who are advanced like your friend's kid, it tears me up. And I KNOW how lucky we are. I KNOW she's an awesome kid and I wouldn't trade her for the world. But it's that dang worry...it doesn't end. Because it's your kid and you love them so much.

Everything you're feeling I have felt too. Don't know if that means anything, but I'm right there with you!

Missie

Amy,
I too know perfect, and The Noah is it.

I have to tell you that while I enjoy your writing and think you are veddy kewl, I would still come here if you did nothing but post pictures of Noah. It could be the All Noah, All The Time Blog and I would still be here. To quote my toddler, "I wuvs him."

Ck

Amy, I must applaud you. I think you're handling this with grace and dignity. Noah IS NOT broken. He's YOUR perfect little boy. My oldest son is autistic. I am constantly having to tell people that he isn't "broken" or needing to be fixed. Yes he receives therapies (speech and OT as well as some autism support) in his regular ed first grade class, but these therapies don't define him. These therapies are not to change Drew, but to help him succeed in a world that is not autistic. A Drew with his autism quirks and idiosyncrasies would be a Drew I don't know or recognize. By no means am I endorsing a no-therapy approach...nothing is further from the truth. I am a firm believer in helping children without changing who they are. I often tell other parents to "embrace the autism". Once they do that, life is so much easier . You've already jumped that hurdle...you are embracing the SPD. Acceptance isn't far off. Keep doing what you're doing for and with Noah. Sooner than later you'll experience a language explosion and you'll wonder when the child will stop chattering! lol I wish you and Noah only the best. Hug that baby tightly, SPD or no, he's first and foremost your Noah.

Lindsay

Amy-
Your right, Noah is perfect, and you're perfect for him as well. You're being amazingly strong for him and doing what needs to be done despite your conflicting emotions.

I am very confident that at some point Noah will be leaving others in the dust and you'll look back and think "man, I should have just had a glass of wine and enjoyed the quiet days," but until then you are totally entitled to everything you are feeling.

-Lindsay

Stephanie D.

Oh yes, Noah is perfect! All children are perfect - in their own way. :)

Kahlil Gibran wrote.... "You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth."

Everything you do for Noah will one day return to you....trust me one this one. Amazingly enough, my 17 year old son now treats me as a dear friend, sharing special thoughts with me and always letting me know he appreciates all I have done for him. What a joy our children are....and yes, they are all perfect....and most of all LOVED! Thanks for sharing Noah with us and no worries about the pity party ~ everyone needs to have one (or two) every now and then! ;)

JoAnn

This post was absolutely brilliant! You managed to describe EXACTLY the same emotions I have been going through since my son's kindergarten teacher called and told me she has some concerns. It's very difficult when someone tells you your perfect little boy, isn't perfect. I remember going through those same emotions when he was born and was diagnosed with a heart defect. But in that situation there were no choices to be made. He needed surgery or he would die. Since then he has been normal in every way. He's the active boy who rarely sits down and he is fine. Fast forward 5 years and its the same thing again- only this time it's kindergraten and * deep breath* this time the choices are all ours. And oh, is it overwhelming. My God, its only kindergarten, he's a young 5, he's a boy, he's only been in school 6 weeks... What if its nothing? What if there really is something? And I so agree with, if you are looking for something you will find it. So we're going through the same things- navigating waters we've never tread before. Just starting the process with meetings and evaluations. But we will leave no stone unturned and we will make the best decisions we can make. From one mother to another- you are doing so great and you are not alone:)

Ella

He is perfect. Don't ever let anyone tell you or try to convince you that he's anything but perfect.

1peanut

I don't know if you get all the way down here in your comments ;) but I wanted to leave you a link to another woman who's going through the same thing with her 2yo right now. It might answer some questions for you or give you some extra hope :)

http://eatmisery.blogspot.com/

Nichole

My daughter is 24 months and was evaluated for speech, she came in at almost 15 months...that was 3 weeks ago. This week, her speech therapist came in...Mika parroted pretty much everything and I think that her therapist thinks I am CRAZY...delayed, I think not. Then this morning she told me with words & signs, Mama, play pop pop pop...which was what Luana called a game that they played...yet her vocab of actual words...only 27 of them. So - after that wildly bragrific story, every kid will develop...but ontheir own terms. If Noah doesn't want to talk right now - he won't. And if he would rather go read a book quietly, he will. Its not up to us to MAKE them do anything.
Also FYI: I am definately of the if the state will pay for speech therapy & early headstart, hell yeah I want it. I would rather have too much help...have too many people calling me crazy then think that something is wrong but not know where to go for help. Also - yeah, she is in speech therapy, but that means built in play groups, other mamas and daddies with kids who are "struggling" or "being stubborn" (your choice)...I have dinner where someone else watches my kid at least once a month, we go and pick apples, and go to the pumpkin patch, and go to 3 or 4 play groups a week, if we want. Mika is already learning her therapist's name - because she has ABALL when they play on the living room floor.
You are doing everything right...you are your baby's best and most imporant teacher and advocate, its just nice to have someone validating your thoughts...or telling you that you are over-reacting...either way, you and Noah are both perfect!!!

Someone Being Me

Noah is perfect and unique. Don't let these experts make you feel any differently. He is happy and healthy, the other stuff can be worked on. You are doing everything you possibly can. I know it is hard not to benchmark your kid against everyone else's but just try not to. Try to think of all the wonderful, special things that are uniquely Noah.

lizinsumner

uhmmmmm - what's a "zerbert"??? Just wondering. My son is almost 14. I don't remember him talking much at around two years of age. I remember he still fell at times at that age. He didn't potty train until after 3. He's now a normal eighth grader and there are many times that 9 (secretly!!!!) wish he'd STOP talking!! Sweetie, I think you should pull up a Lay-z-boy (if you don't have one of these, you NEED to get one!!), take a load off, pop a cork if that's your thing (mine's lattes), take a deep breath, and relax. Enjoy your beautiful child. Never compare him to the other kids because you see little Johnny over there and how verbally brilliant he seems? Well, he didn't fully potty train until he was over 5 years old!!! Or, he slept in his parents' bed until he was 12! Honestly, you never know by looking at others and their kids. Yours is beautiful! He's healthy! He's perfect! And it will all be fine.

Becca

Must add--my sister toe-walked for a long time. They weren't worried about her, just put these funny shoes on her feet for awhile until she started to walk flat footed. She still runs on her toes. She's 29 now (and wears heels all the time, so still with the toe-walking, but this time her choice) and is the smartest woman I know. Really. As far as I know, they never worried about anything other than a short tendon in her feet because of her toe-walking. Again, almost 30 years ago (and I know it might be different based on other things).

QofD

Just because someone has it worse (and dear God, what some mothers and their children endure is truly horrifying) doesn't mean you aren't entitled to a pity party every now and again. Someone else's "worse" doesn't mean you have to go skipping gaily about when you are concerned for your own child.

So throw the very occasional pity party. Little ones anyway. That involve lots of wine and maybe a blow-up sheep or two.

P.S. - Your son is gorgeous and looks like a happy kid regardless of whatever the experts say.

Chantelle

Hear, hear. Perfect indeed.
And for what it is worth, I am a lot old to be tripping over my own feet as much as I do and I very often can't form a complete sentence. The diagnosis is good because he will get some extra help, but the word disorder makes things sound worse than they necessarily are. Noah is Noah.

Lindsey

Noah is perfect - he's just his own brand of perfect. And that's okay, they all are! I have 2 boys of my own - one older and one younger than Noah. And let me tell you, they are as different as night and day. What one does and the other doesn't makes me worry too, about which one is "normal". Then I smack myself and move on. Because you know what - they will all be okay, they really will. You are doing everything you can for Noah, and he's going to thrive. I just know it!

BiologistMomofThree

You need to quit hangin with the friends with the genius kids! That 2-yr old would make any Mom feel like her kid's behind the game!

Seriously, sorry for stating the obvious and something I'm sure a million people have already said, but here it goes anyway... everything about Noah (including his SPD) is what makes him Noah. He'd probably be very similar if he wasn't born with the exact genetic mix that also includes his SPD, but he wouldn't exactly be Noah.

Who knows what other aspects of his "specialness" (as in we all love him and think he's the new white bread), might be lost if the gene mix had come out slightly different (no SPD, but not really Noah either)?

Just something to ponder. {can you tell I minored in philosphy, can you tell??!!}

Hugs.


Wendy

He is perfect...and yes they call them TODDLERS for a reason! The fall down...A LOT!

Ellen

Perfect??? Not so sure... Totally awesome, adorable, and wonderful...DEFINITELY. BTW: I liked the 2 year montage but my favorites are the ones of him walking around in the box and then running away with this so- cute smile on his face. Ok, maybe he is PERFECT.

Jill

We're dealing with some sensory issues here, too, but not sure if it is actually a disorder, or some other neuro stuff prompting symptoms.

Anyway, both my kids always fell a lot when they were going through growth spurts. Apparently that extra 1/2 inch makes a big difference at that height, and it always took them a while to adjust. I think you may be right in that some of Noah's symptoms are normal toddler stuff. And some of it is just personality. Who doesn't love a kid who loves books?

Christina

I can sympathize, as I'm going through the same stream of feelings right now with my daughter. But you're right - he's perfect because he's Noah.

At the end of the day, past therapies and diagnoses and all that, he's still your little boy with all of the quirks that make him who he is. Your perfect little boy.

Stacy

"I know perfect when I see it."

-Amen!

de

i hate when people have to one up your story. i get that a lot lately and it's about me, people. ME!
anyway, what was i saying?
Noah is cute.

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