Yo Ho Ho and Six Bottles of Rum
#1 on the Threatdown: BEARS

The Day After the Day After

So there was this one time when I managed to get myself linked to from Dave Barry's blog. That was incredibly cool and thrilling and I'm sure caused a few pinched bridges of noses over in the Typepad server room, but it also happened to be the same day I wrote about my spanking new thrush infection.

Yesterday I found out I am a finalist for Best Parenting Blog over at the Weblog Awards. The same day I wrote about vomit and posted photos with my bra sticking out.

I am possibly quite brilliant, or just the world's biggest jackass. I don't know. We'll see how the voting goes.

(You can vote once every 24 hours. Look! Here's a visual reminder!)

The 2007 Weblog Awards

(What? Too much? A little ostentatious? How about this one?)

The 2007 Weblog Awards

(Inside voice!)

I might be wrong, but I don't think there are any actual...prizes? Except for bragging rights? And Lord knows, if there's anything we parent bloggers need more of, it's things to brag about.

SPEAKING OF BRAGGING...

Noah was a freaking champion trick-or-treater. We had a little bit of a problem with him walking inside people's houses (at one house he barreled past the owners and made a beeline for the kitchen, and probably would have opened their fridge and helped himself to some milk and pie if I hadn't caught him) (hoods on Halloween costumes: a MUST!), but he caught on to the general concept pretty quickly. He audibly gasped at the first house that held out a candy bowl, then turned to look at us, to make sure this was okay, and really happening, and that nobody was going to try to touch his face with a duckie washcloth while he was distracted by the candy.

After about five houses he marched right up and asked for dessert. DESSERT? DESSERT? DESSERT?

The best part is that the kid has NO TASTE when it comes to dessert, which means he gets the gross stuff like the cherry-flavored marshmallow "OOZ'N EYEBALL" and I get all the fun size Twix bars.

(I am kidding, of course. Nobody is eating the OOZ'N EYEBALL. After all the eye infections poor Ceiba's had over the years I just want to douse the thing with some antibiotic ointment and set it on fire.)

Anyway. I am feeling much better today, obviously. I never, ever drink hard liquor anymore for just this very reason, and I was very stupid for not asking for full disclosure on the punch bowl ingredients. (Other than: IT'S YUMMY!) (You know what else is yummy? ROOFIES.)

I started feeling better last night, right around the same time Noah came downstairs with two mysterious bulges under his shirt, which turned out to be the silicone bra inserts I'd worn with my costume. He was super proud of himself. I was too, in between the howls of laughter.

Then, as if to remind me that yes, he IS still all boy, he came over and handed me a live squirming ant.

(Aaaaand we're back to bugs and boobs. Vote Amalah!)

Comments

Fraulein N

Oh crap. Little boys actually come over and HAND you gross things?

Dana

Voted!
Just wait until he gets older and his palate matures; then goodbye awesome Halloween candy. Happens around six and it SUCKS.

Katie

Oh my god, I wish you had a picture of him with the mysterious bulges under his shirt! :) He is a hoot!

MMM

Dessert! That is so cute. I bet you got a lot of giggles from that!

Janssen

Voted! (for you, obviously - it would be rude to come tell you that I voted for someone else).

ladybug

Voted! I think I prefer the first, outside voice, reminder. My kids use their outside voices to get my attention, after all, and I need my outside voice to get theirs. So, yes, #1.

ladybug

I'm so glad you all enjoyed trick-or-treating and it was a success!

Ree

dessert! yum.

Of course you're gonna win.

Maxine Dangerous

Please to get photograph of son with silicone boobehs under his shirt. I wish to laugh muchly. :)

Vooooooooooooooote cast!

becks

LOVE it! My kid walks in my high heels better than I do.

Nosaby

I voted! Do I get one of those little I Voted stickers? The image of a little monkey boy charging through the door and running through the house is just hilarious.

Ashley

voted, of course.

i can only picture the fake boobs under noah's shirt but it? is cracking me up. :)

Starbuck

It sounds like Noah had a Willy Wonka experience what with all the free candy there for the taking. Not too mention the pie and milk!

Congrats on the nomination. I will be voting post haste.

Liana

Totally voted.
In my world amalah.com is very nearly the ONLY parenting blog. :)

MAN I wish I could have seen Noah with those inserts. Priceless!

She Likes Purple

COOOOONGRATS!

Jenny H.

VOTE-ED!

Best of luck, not that you need it...

I have two little boys who don't care about the good stuff! Yay me!

Jenny H.

Holy Jeebus,

YOU ARE WINNING!!!!!

Jenny H.

Sorry, I just got a little too excited...

I am getting myself under control right now.

supertiff

whee! you're winning!
*looks at clock, makes mental note to vote again tomorrow.*

WendyB

Glad that the trick or treating worked out so well! Too funny about running into peoples' houses! That voting is going to turn into a Dad Gone Mad vs. Amalah smackdown!

Dad Gone Mad

The end is nigh, fair Amalah. The mighty people of Dad Gone Madia will rise from their slumbers and defend what is ours. Let us not tarry, for there is voting to be done.

(Also, if you win I will unleash the wrath of those pictures I took of you at SXSW. Especially the one where you have a hypodermic in you arm and a big pile of blow on the nightstand. What was that guy's name again? That one stripper guy you made out with?)

Suzel

I'm hoping you win and of course, will vote for you. You blog never ceases to make me laugh!

mizburd

A picture of little Noah with the boobies under the shirt would be great! You could use it to embarrass him when he's 13.

You're running away with the voting, BTW.

Hollywood

Hi Amalah! You are totally spanking my blog (and everyone else's) in the voting section of the best parenting blog. But I guess anyone who gets a link from Dave Barry deserves it. How did you pull THAT off?! Way to go!

amalah

Steve, Danny. The stripper's name was Steve, and he's working really hard to put himself through night school.

(I'm telling you, blame Brian at Looky, Daddy! He sent me an email that fanned the flames of my deeply shameful hyper-competitive streak. He's all, IT'S ON BITCH and I was all I WILL THROW THE MONOPOLY BOARD AT YOUR HEAD, ASSHOLE.)

(In a really, really nice way, of course.)

Eleanor

I voted! You're winning!

YAY!

glamgranola

Damn your good under pressure, another stellar post. I voted!

Katie Kat

Ha ha! I actually saw this award thingy whilst reading Dad Gone Mad, and when I went to go have a lookie-loo, I saw AMALAH.COM was nominated. I promptly voted for YOU! (Don't tell Danny).

I'll toss in one for him too... tomorrow! :)

Bethany kept saying "HAPPY HAPPY WEEN!" all day Halloween. That and "TRICKTREAT!" like she didn't care which, just do give her something for God' sake!

Next time, get pictures of the be-boobed Noah. Future bribery fodder girlfriend! :)

Suzanne

All your 'dessert' are belong to us!

I also want to see a picture of Noah with boobies!

mtngray

My son, Jackson, also ran into everyone's houses on our street! It was hilarious! My son Noah mostly hung back and watched big brother snag all the candy for the two of them. Jackson had to carry both loot buckets. He did very well after canvasing each home for valuables. I think we'll throw a block party next week and send him back in to make out with more "goodies."

Nerwal

Holy crap! You're running away with this contest... 42.5% as of when I voted! Gooooo you! And Us (because we're the ones voting, ya know)

BOSSY

Bossy is a finalist too - for Best Humor Blog. Not only has she spent the week blogging about vacuums and Flax Seed poo, but she didn't even tell her readers to go vote.

BiologistMomofThree

Oh man, you are SO going to win!!
But seriously, best parenting? Rather than funniest??
Whatever!
You and King Noah rule the bloggoverse (yes, that must be a word)

Tirzah

Too funny! I can just picture him walking in with little boobies!!!! Then if that wasn't enough, an ant. Boys are fun aren't they!

Marisa

Where is the picture of him with the fake boobs? That would be so funny!

Jolie Steele

um, so Dad Gone Mad, he's all talking shit on his blog? I don't really know your relationship with him, but then I see he commented all friendly over here. I take it he was kidding when he called you an EVIL WAR LORD?

HE'D BETTER BE.

eva

Yay Amy!I just voted and you're still winning!

Kristie

I do hope you took a picture of Noah with boobs. If only for pictoral proof to use as leverage when he gets older.

Dad Gone Mad

Yes, Jolie. Kidding to the highest possible degree. I love Amy. She's not evil. Quite the contrary.

Wendy

My Ally walked right into the first house too! I was mortified....but it was quite funny ;)

oh...I just voted too..good luck!

Cedar Waxwing

Great post Halloween story. I'll go vote now.

On my (now 16-year-old) daughter's first trick-or-treating experience she handed the candy she got from a previous house to the next ones. On her second year she was not so generous.

Laura

Congratulations, woman! I totally intend to vote once every day. Seems like you're doing pretty damn well so far!

Wacky Mommy

I hate those eyeballs they freak me OUT.

Just wait 'til he fills up a jar with bugs and hides it in his room, then screams when you try to take it away because "IT'S MY COLLECTION!!" i love those boys, they keep life hopping. Literally.

Wacky Mommy

ps i'll vote for you 17 times.

Valerie

The cuteness! So much cuteness!

zdoodlebub

Both my boys marched right into people's homes when we first started halloweening, too. As with many parenting scenarios, it's quite mortifying in the moment, but really fun to remember.

Michele

My son thought the Oozn' Eyeball was SO COOL - until he tasted it. He spit it out and quickly asked if he could have another piece of candy from his bag - since he didn't like that one.

Maria

Yup, I too voted. For you of course, the mommy with the bestestest blog...

Shiz

Best parenting blog is right, but also the best blog for makign me laugh out loud. You are da bomb.

Mariana Perri

I only got aroudn to seing the little monkey dude now and, JESUS, how cute CAN he get?????

And, if he came around knocking on my door and opening my fridge, he's be more than welcome!

Noah is just AWESOME!

supertiff

ok, i've voted for you multiple times. but i have to make a confession: only because you're winning by a gazillion points, i'm going to vote for finslippy (flipperpuppy? that really killed me.) tomorrow, because i really like her blog, too. and i don't even think i've ever commented there, so she totally deserves one of my votes.
but, come tuesday?
i'm totally voting for you again.

oh, and for the record?
i have no idea why i'm telling you this, other than the fact that it's nearly 9am and i'm still awake.
would this even be possible if the internet had never been invented?
i think not.
thanks a lot al gore.
sheesh.

Kate

Okay, I know I'm an entry late, but I wanted to say that both you and Jason looked awesome for Halloween. His Dick Cheney costume (and expression!) are spot on. :)

Maria

Dessert! Smart boy.

Lauren

So far, you're winning!!!

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