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Revelations

Yes, I Have Been At This For Two Whole Years

Noah finally had his two-year checkup today, because of reasons that had nothing to do with me forgetting to make the appointment, oh no no noooo, and you know what I did?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?

I gave him a sippy cup of milk. BEFORE his shots. BEFORE his blood test for lead. BEFORE the nurse started squeezing out drops of blood from his finger, one by one by one and then STAB STAB STAB in the THIGH THIGH THIGH* and yes, he screamed until he puked up the milk all over us both.

I had two (2) baby wipes with me. The nurse handed me a bucket and the paper towel from the baby scale and left, probably wondering why the hell I even bothered to show up, why not just send the fleet of nannies in, for all the practical parenting knowledge I clearly possessed.

Milk. I GAVE HIM MILK. Good God.

*Noah and his thighs are, by the way, only 28 pounds. He's gained 18 pounds in his whole entire life. I gain and lose that much every other holiday. The doctor has ordered Pediasure and butter, STAT.

**Hey, you know what else I did today? I looked out the peephole on our front door because Ceiba was barking, barking like HALP HALP WEEZ BEIN INVADED and I saw...branches. Branches! Like from a Christmas tree! Like someone had marched up to our door and left a Christmas tree propped on our stoop and oh hell, we did not order a Christmas tree, and who ORDERS Christmas trees, is that even possible, and what are the odds there's a phone number attached to that Christmas tree that I can call and complain about this unauthorized Christmas tree delivery? Or should I just keep the Christmas tree? I mean, we do need a Christmas tree. But stealing a Christmas tree? What's next, swiping mangers?  BB gunning inflatable reindeer? Oh God, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this fucking tree?

It was like my own personal pile of pallets. For five whole minutes, which is when I opened the front door and realized I was looking at the Christmas wreath we hung up over the weekend. The end.

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Comments

Starbuck

I'm sorry for naoh's shots. I used to make my husband take the kids because I couldn't stand it. Now I am calloused to their sufferings and take them myself. Also, my kids cry if they DON"T get shots. So that helps.

As for the free tree? This story is one of the many reasons I love this blog.

Undomestic Diva

That's OK. I have three boys. Three. I should be good at this parenting crap. So you can imagine the look on my pediatrician's face when I told him why I was there with my youngest... to see if he had two tongues.

I can't even make this shit up.

BTW, he only has one. Hmm.

MH
www.undomesticdiva.com

Sarah

Poor thighs. My 7 month old just got her (6 month) shots and looked at me afterwards like "I thought you loved me..."

Also- hi-larious about the branches. : )

Leaf, probably...

It's been one of those days then?

becki

MORE DESSERTS!! Stat!

Tonja

28 pounds is huge! My little peanut is 5 1/2 and weighs 34 pounds - with all of his clothes on. Tall and skinny as a rail no matter how much he eats :)

Hope

We got a free Christmas tree once. It was propped on a fence and had a sign on it that said "free to a good home." Who was I to argue against a free tree?

rotabega

Wow. Puke is my greatest fear and loathe, and I only wish I were kidding. I mean, really, who is actually afraid of puke?

Me. All aspects of it.

That major fear is the only reason I've made it through shots like a champ. Our son has autism, so painful things sometimes have a delayed reaction for him. He will scream about the being held down more than a needle, so he simply sits in our arms and lets whatever happen. Then later, over a reward Happy Meal he will spontaneously burst into sobs when he realizes that he was VIOLATED. With a NEEDLE or three. And MOM LET IT HAPPEN.

And I am LMFAO about the wreath. I have done similar things. Have some chocolate, it helps.

Amy H

28 pounds...hmm...maybe I should stop feeding Avery so many crackers. She is 25 pounds at 16 months. geesh. Next thing you know I will have a bumper sticker that says "my child will sit on your honor student" DOH!

(also, went to Target and got some cute T-shirts thanks to your tip!)

vanna

several times today i have thought someone was standing in the doorway of my livingroom. you'd think i would've moved the darn shirt hanging there to dry by now.

Judy

I wouldn't worry about him being only 28 pounds.

I have two grown daughters. The first weighed 8 lb 2 oz at birth. At six months she was 19 lb. At a year 35. Today at 44 she is 5'11", 350 lb. and has serious health problems.

The second weighed 8 lb. 1 oz at birth. At a year she was 15 lb. Today at 42 she is 5'7" and 110 lb. Terrifically healthy.

Noah's just going to be one of those horrible people who never gain weight and is rail-thin all his life.

Ree

At least you didn't pass out like I did.

The wreath? too freakin' funny.

Kirsty

I would reckon 28 lbs at 2 to be pretty impressive: can't remember how much my elder daughter (now nearly 6) weighed at that age, but right now she's 44 lbs (for 45"). And her younger sister (who's 3.5) weighs an almighty 28.5 lbs (for 40"). And their doctor says they're both in great shape. And they both eat great. Maybe living here in the south of France makes them tall and skinny, or something? By the way, they were both preemie shrimps (both born at 8 months, the first weighing not quite 5 lbs, the second just over 5 lbs, both measuring less than 18").
I wouldn't worry about Noah's weight, he looks just fine to me. And at least there doesn't seem to be much chance of him having "issues" with obesity in life...

jive turkey

Oh, rotabega, I understand. I fear & loathe the puke as well, and I don't even have a kid yet. I understand there is a fair amount of puking involved.

Amalah, I totally thought of the Miss Doxie's pallet drama when I was reading this post, and then had to stifle my workplace laughter when I got to the part about the wreath. HEE.

Kay

Seriously? I did the same exact thing, except I spent 4 minutes trying to figure out WTF was outside my door.

And 28 lbs is underweight for a 2 yr old?
I guess my 23 month old is headed for anorexia at 25 lbs then, funny the doctor said he was fine for his height so unless Noah is 6"2 I bet you could go with the I can't believe it's not butter" still. ;)

Kyla

KayTar is just now hitting 28 lbs at nearly three. We own stock in Pediasure. Okay, no we don't, but we SHOULD.

erin

Oh, that's just funny. Because it's totally something I would do.

My doc suggested Carnation Instant Breakfast for my 20 month old. She's 20lbs. And been that way for 5 months. Except she might weigh more now. Who knows. You see I'm real concerned about it.

Catherine

Um. Noah looks fine and healthy in all the pictures you've posted. Unless those are NOT of Noah, and are another child you're paying to portray him on the Internet, I'm willing to stake my entire collection of autographed Diana Gabaldon books that he's fine and dandy. I mean, I wouldn't withhold the butter or anything--my kids can go through a whole stick in one day--but i wouldn't freak out about him being malnourished.

Also, the tree thing? Totally something I would do.

Sarah

Don't feel bad, the whole "peep hole" incident could have easily been done by me. In fact it is entirely possible that I still might have the same issue even after reading this post.

Vickie

Oh, poor Noah! But Teo's 2-year visit was quite possibly only slightly better. There was puke (but not enough for a bucket). There was, however, lots of poking--and the poking went on over 2 weeks, since they didn't get enough the first time.

And Teo weighs the same as Noah--and is about the same height. No talk of pediasure at our end, though.

Lyla

My daughter has always been a lightweight too and when I was still freaking out about it, when she was 1 or so, her doctor recommended cooking all her food in ghee. I know it sounds funny, but her veggies tasted great! I'm still a big believer in foods with high fat content for kids - good for brain development and all - and she still loves anything buttery...!

Amanda

Oh God, the tree story has me in tears! That sounds exactly like something I would do! Lawd have mercy! Thanks for the laugh!

amalah

I'm sooo not worried about Noah's weight, at all. We saw one of the more neurotic doctors at the practice today -- not our regular guy, because of the aforementioned OH SHIT TWO YEAR APPOINTMENT lateness. He's below the 50% percentile, but not by much. Totally fine, in my book. (Since I know so much.)

She was just a little alarmed by his ribs being visible, but he's Jason. Tall and skinny no matter how much he eats. There are worse things in life, methinks.

(Vanna and her shirt comment are killing me, btw. I do that too. Usually I start petting a pair of shoes because I think it's the cat.)

Slick63

First of all - Sorry you had to get shots today Noah!!!
Secondly, let me tell you a little story. My son was born weighing only 5 lbs 15 oz and lost weight quickly. He was premature so he had no sucking reflex, so - no desire to eat. It was a battle his entire childhood. He never even made it onto any of the percentile charts for kids. Hell, at 12 years old he only weighed 57 lbs.!!!! Should of still been in a car seat for God's sake. lol. I'm not joking. The docs were like, feed him pediasure, xtra deserts, food etc. I worried, but did not force the issue. He is now a normal-sized young man with a healthy appetite.
Guess what I am saying is - don't let the docs get you into a fuss about his weight - it will come in time - in Noah's time.

And by the way, the tree thing - that is something I would SO DO! lol

Kelsi

Poor Noah! Shots suck.

I have twins - total lightweights. They just turned 5 and the big one is only 36 pounds. The little one is just barely crossing the 30 pound mark. Not only can you see the little one's ribs but his chest is practically concave. But he eats like a champ and has energy for days. I envy his metabolism.

Mouse

Scooter's 4 1/2 and 35 pounds if I'm being generous. He tends to be about 50th percentile in height and 10th-15th in weight--which is better than the "below 5th" that he was at around 2. I'm desperately hoping for another 6 or 7 pounds so we can finally get him into a booster seat--but at his current rate, we'll be lucky to hit that before age 6.

Someone Being Me

You are too funny. Your entry made me feel a tiny bit better about my week of projectile baby vomit, thrush, RSV, ear infections, and the stomach virus from hell. The week where me and my little one made 1 trip to the doctor, 2 trips to Urgent Care and spent 2 days in the hospital. Just so I can drop my son off at daycare today and have the teacher's tell me that they sent another kid home with RSV today. Yippee!

Heidi

I feel you on the tree thing.
I just got glasses for the first time ever, and mine have not-too-thick plastic frames. This is fine, until I turn off the lights and am standing around in the dark. Suddenly the glasses become some unidentifiable and menacing object that is very close to my face and I start swatting around and whatever the hell it is that's trying to be all up in my grill. It *always* takes me a few minutes to realize that it's just my glasses.

HollowSquirrel

Jojo weighed 24.5 pounds at his 2 year visit, and he hasn't gained an ounce since. I wouldn't worry about it. I'd more worry about the Christmas Tree Wreath freakout... lol.

Karen

Forget about the butter. We worry about an obesity epidemic and then load them with pediasure: the doctors never make any sense. My Ted is three, and is 27 pounds, and there's nothing to worry about. Really.

Except maybe the christmas tree.

Ida

My son only weighed 26 lbs. at his 2 year check up. Don't fret. They were worried when he was a baby about his weight because he just kept getting taller and taller and not gaining any weight. (He has always been 90% for height.) He is almost 3 now and still super long and skinny. I look at it as being ahead of the game later on in life.

jodi

We have gone through the same thing w/Michael. He's also really thin and take after his Dad. In fact, I think he weighed the same thing at his 2 yr. appointment.

Anyway, what I don't understand is even with all the childhood obesity they are pushing parents to fatten up their kids. Why is being thin bad? As long as kids are meeting their milestones and have no health problems why worry about it?

Missy

My oldest weighed 20 pounds at her 2 year checkup. I was all stressed to death, doctor's ordered visits with nutritionists and tried to get me to give her cream instead of milk. Albeit tiny, she was completely healthy. I didn't like the idea of pushing cream and butter and gravy just for the sake of making her gain weight- I thought that would set a bad precedent (had visions of her mainlining sour cream at age 16).

Now at age 9, she's still tiny, but eats all the time, plenty of butter, sugar, carbs... The kid is so active, though, and so she only weighs 44 pounds. Totally healthy to this day.

Noah will be ok :) So will you.

zdoodlebub

Pretty door.

We put the tree up this weekend and it scared the crap out of me this morning, all lurking and silent in the dark corner.

Made me think of Gerald's Game (Stephen King) when the woman was still tied to the bed after her husband had a heart attack during kinky, tied-up sex and had fallen off the bed and then a stray dog came along and ate his raw flesh and after that there was some creep in the corner and she thought she was hallucinating but months later after the whole ordeal was behind her she saw a picture of a serial killer who had just been arrested and she realized she hadn't been hallucinating after all because she recognized him. As the guy in the corner leering at her and her husband's dead body.

mama speak

You know, every kid is different & does things at their own rate. As long as your kid is eating and is active isn't that all that matters?

Both my girls are skinny (especially the little one, who has never been above the 5% line and has spent a good deal of time off the chart altogether). But the dr. said she's never not gained weight, so it's the rate they're on, not the actual numbers. Damn I wish I had their metabolisms.

The wreath thing, totally done that before. Scared the crap out of myself.

BTW, yes they do deliver X-mas trees; typically to people who order very large ones (rich). They also set them up and decorate them for you, if you want. We have friends who own a Xmas tree farm.

bouncy czech

Heh.

Sometimes I think you are just making this shit up.

:)

Maxine Dangerous

Tears in eyes from laughing at wreath story. So what I would have done. Damn Christmas tree bastard bandit delivery people.

BTW, I think my head weighs 28 pounds. Get out the spray butter and go to town! :)

Sharon

Delurking to say that I have a 4.5 year old who weighs a whopping 34 pounts and I'm THRILLED. We did the pediasure thing, too, and the calorie boosting, but only b/c my son 'fell off' his weight & growth curve for a short while. Now he's back on the curve (at 5%, but whatever) and growing along his own curve nicely. As long as Noah is growing on HIS curve, that's all that matters.

Erin

I'll add to the many, many previous posters who reassure you that 28 lbs is just fine. My daughter is 20 months and weighs 23 lbs. She too has gained but 15 lbs in her lifetime - but she's been following the same growth percentile trajectory and my pediatrician says not to worry.

Andrea

My 7.5 year old son started out small and skinny (6# 2 oz) and just now is he starting to fill out. I thought he would never gain weight, but I think it's the milk he's finally started to drink. We were in fact at the doctor today and I almost fainted when she said he was over 60 lbs. Wowsa.
Guess what I'm saying is don't lose hope. If Noah eats pretty healthy, try not to worry about it. He's totally fine (and cute too!!)

Danielle

Oh, holy crap! That was greatness! I am so glad I am not the only one who does silly stuff like that! Love your blog!

Sadie

I never would have thought that giving a child milk before a dr's appointment would be a bad idea. Will note for the future years. Thanks for the tip!

AmyM

I love your geniousity. (I think I just made that word up.)

andrea

I was really thinking you were a great mom bringing a sippy cup to sooth him during the whole dr. visit. Didn't even think that milk would perhaps be a bad idea. Give me that mom of the year award please.

Were on the avocado and peanut butter diet around here trying to fatten up our little guy; wishing his mother had the same problem.

Miss Britt

You were in the room when your kid got shots?

Oh you are so a better mother than I.

annab

oh god, you are so funny. sometimes i don't have time to read all your posts, but when i do i am so glad because they are hilarious.

Marnie

You already have plenty of reassurance about the weight thing, but I'll add mine anyway and 2nd (3rd?) the trajectory thing. Aside from the moment she was born, she has been at roughly 50% for height and 5-10% for her entire 6-and-change years. When I got a little concerned at her 2-yr appt, the doc said, "You're not exactly huge, yourself. Face it, she's going to be petite. Get over it and quit worrying."

My kind of doc.

So, listen, you're not exactly huge yourself, lady.

LOVE the wreath story. And, I'm SURE that I've given my daughter milk before shot appts. Never even entered my mind.

AMomTwoBoys

OMG, that is too funny! I can't laugh too hard though, because it took me THREE (3) hours to figure out that the reason my videos weren't posting was because I was pushing the wrong button. THREE hours. At least it only took you five minutes.
Um, I wouldn't have thought about the milk either. I'll have to remember that for next time!
Oh- and my nephew isn't even ON the chart anymore. He weighs 28 pounds and he turned 3 (THREE) in June. Noah could totally kick his ass. Not that that's important!

Jessica

There is no doubt that shots at two are WAY worse than infant shots. At least for the parent.
When C got her shots she just SCREAMED at me, in anger, not pain, like she couldn't believe I would let someone hurt her intentionally. I have to take her back to get a flu shot and I just can't bring myself to make the appointment.
Also... she's two and a half and only weighs 26lbs...

Jasmina

Just under 50th percentile? Pshaw! My son was always at the 10th percentile; he ate reasonably well and was in fine health, and the pediatrician was never concerned, even when he freaked me out by weighing exactly 37 pounds for more than a year (really). He stayed skinny until recently, at age 23, when he finally developed a bit of a beer belly. (Well, beer will do that. won't it?) It was kind of weird to see a little meat on his bones at last. And his sister has always tended to pudgy. So, another parenting "Whatever."

Maria

Poor Noah! I hope he got an extra dessert. And you should get an extra glass of wine or two for being in the room and cleaning up the puke.

You can order trees from L.L. Bean and Jackson and Perkins.

Helen

Seth stayed at 20 lbs for 18 months, skinny little turd, they made us give him powdered milk, mixed with formula mixed with chocolate milk ovaltine sort of powder. OMG he would drink that concoction and STILL stayed 20 lbs...he is 7 now and weighs 42 lbs soaking wet.
I am sniggering about the tree branches, you crack me up.

Liz

We have a skinny one here too ... 95% for height and 25% for weight at age 2, and it freaks me out sometimes b/c he started at the 90% for weight. There was always so much emphasis on his dropping weight curves in the US, but here in Germany, they don't consider it an issue as long as he's growing in some way (as in length) and he is healthy and hitting milestones. Plus, they do shots in their arms once past the infant stage ... it is much less traumatic and painful when they can sit in your lap and instead of the windup and BAM into the leg, you get much more of a gentle touch. The doctor here did it herself and she was surprised the US was still doing them in the thighs at 18 months. My son made a short squeak and it was over. What IS that about? As soon as you pin them to the table, their anxiety level is through the roof. I wonder what other countries do ... thighs or arms?

jessica

Dude, you have a nice front door! When we live in our TH our door was a green painted metal door. and we werne't allowed to change it becuae of our HOA. Couldnt' even add a peep hole. I have a peep hole now, and at least 4 times a year I get freaked out by the weird object "sitting" outside my door :)

Amy

I went thru 4 pediatricians until I found one that just *loves* skinny kids. All 3 of of mine hover between the 5th and 10th percentile, and all were big babies at birth. If you do want to add some bulk to Noah's diet, I had good luck with hiding flax seed oil in food. (It's got all those good Omega 3s in it too)

sherry

I hung a Halloween wreath on our door and EVERY time I glanced out the peephole I thought someone was there because of the string which covered half the peephole. I live in an apartment building so I look out that thing several times a day to see if that noise in the hall is my husband coming home or someone else walking down the hall and EVERY time I did I jumped a good foot because I thought someone was standing RIGHT THERE pressed up against my door.

Kate

Every year that happens to me. Something decorative obstructs my view out the peephole, and I'm immediately overcome with terror of the one-eyed, tire-iron weilding, hairy-assed stalker sitting outside my door RIGHT THIS SECOND. Oddly enough, it never seems to occur to me that the same "stalker" comes around every single year, usually within a day or two of hanging Santa on the door.

Nicole

Add me to the don't worry about his weight crowd. As a mama to three skinny boys I long ago began ignoring any doctor that talkes about their weight. For comparison sake, I have a 34lb 4yo, 38lb 5yo, and 62lb 10yo.

Liana

Dang. That wreath story RULES. Made me grin quite hugely.
I love how your mind works- thinking of a problem, a solution, repercussions, all so fast...and then realizing there was no problem at all.
I wonder why this sounds familiar to me...? :)

Wicked Stepmom

LOL... ahh, umm... nice wreath?

Kristen

Poor Noah! I hate shots with a passion. I had to take my 2 boys (nearly 6 and 3.5) to get their flu shots back on the 1st. The 3.5-year-old just screamed and cried. The 6-year-old screamed and held on to his pants like a virgin about to be deflowered by Vikings. And the nurse just stood there and watched! She finally helped get his pants down, but lord it could have been sooner.

Oh, and Nick, my nearly 6-year-old, weighs 43 pounds and is about 46" tall. Jake, my 3.5-year-old, weighs 40 pounds and is about 40" tall. Same genes, different body types. He wears the clothes and pajamas that Nick has worn the previous year. I was told only to give Nick pediasure, etc. if he fell below the 5th percentile in weight (which he measured at from 6-months to 4-years). He's now in the 10th percentile and we're not worried in the slightest. The only thing that I am being a stickler for is that he will remain in his booster seat until he weighs more. He just doesn't weigh enough yet to take him out of it.

GypsyMommy

As a mommy of two skinny kids, I feel for those baby thighs.

Heh, every year our wreath scares me while looking out the peep hole... maybe I'll just skip it this year!

Dani

I'm cracking up at all these "see it but it's not actually there" stories. My office mates here in Cube Land surely think I'm off my rocker.

My daughter's a rather tiny thing as well, sticking around the 25th percentile. But she's healthy! As someone who's struggled with obesity her entire life, I hope she stays that way. I wouldn't wish my love/hate relationship with food upon anyone, but especially my daughter.

Glad to hear you're not worried about Noah. He's looked perfectly happy and healthy in the photos I've seen here :)

mandy

Pretty wreath. You kill me.

mandy

Pretty wreath. You kill me.

zoe

28 pounds sound good to me. what's the fuss about??? i am mother of 4 and i would have given him milk before the shots and never thought twice about it. i also fed my daughter blueberry pancakes last night when we went out to eat...with blueberry syrup. guess where the wipes were? in the car. yeah mom!

Janna

I read the pallet blog - what happened to all her pallets?

Also? My mother has a life-sized cutout of Capt. Jack Sparrow that she'll move around the house (she's not crazy) (OK, yes she is). It startles me EVERY SINGLE TIME.

jaelithe

On the bright side, your two-year-old boy weighs more than my three-year-old boy, who, despite years of apparently living mostly on air despite all my constant fervent attempts to offer Pediasure and butter, is still smart enough to know how to type "CATS" into the Google search box, read the search results, and click on the right link in order to get to the YouTube video of Nora the Piano Playing cat.

Our family doctor pointed out during our last visit that when my son is a dotcom billionaire, the dignitaries and supermodels partying at his mansion will not care that he stunted his own growth by refusing to eat well in childhood.

Neena

You're hilarious.

I was leaving my house yesterday morning for work when I had a mini freak-out, and thought someone was lurking at my door. I even brought the dog to the door. Turns out it was the stuffed snowman door-ornament I put up this weekend.

Some days...

Wacky Mommy

Love the wreath. And here's another vote for getting the dads to take the kids to the ped's office.

Signed,

Traumatized by Out-of-Control 5 year old During Shots Visit Last Week

ps -- our first ped, who was too booked to ever see us, gave us this good advice: "Americans are obsessed with skinny adults and fat babies."

Jeanette Peterson in the AZ

Well listen Milk is no biggie.
My son is eight now, but trust me you never forget.

I gave him Red Jello, because he had the flu and was not eating anything for a few days. But would eat Red Jello. By the time we got out of the car, check in and sat in the waiting room. He had enough of the Jello and yes. It was all over the damn place. Red Jello can I just tell you a mother walked in to check in for her apointment and I swear to god the look on her face was like some kid was bleeding all of the waiting room. I said "IT's JELLO!" she was like thank god.

Kids - Gotta love um

mswas

The pallets story on Miss Doxie's blog was the funniest* thing I've read all day. I will be applying the What Would Jack Bauer Do analysis to everything I can.


*just kidding, you're the funniest

Heather

Hee hee (about the wreath, not the shots). That's one of those things that you don't want to tell people but that is too funny to not share.

Heide

My son weighed 26 pounds at his two-year checkup (I just looked it up). He was always tall and skinny. At four? Six-pack abs. I've always worried more about it than the docs.

Andrea

i bet your glasses, if you've ever worn them, get lost in the same place as mine--on top of my head.

angie

My two and a half year old is 28 pounds and is perfectly fine! My FOURTEEN POUND nine week old however, well, he's going to be a porker when he's two.

Also, I appreciate the link to Miss Doxie's blog, but - where did she go? There aren't any recent entries!

Robbin

OMG I was choking laughing so hard about you seeing a tree on the porch. Sorry but it was funny. dont feel bad today I mailed an envelope full of soda tabs at work that I was saving for my son to put in his mcdonalds house for donation.

Zoot

This will now be the Christmas Story you tell every year. Think of it as the beginning of a tradition!

M

...my daughter was 100% for height and 10% for weight at her 1 year old check up...she weighed 17.7 pounds and 7.1 at birth....at 2 she weighed 22.4 pounds...and was 98% for height...don't let the Dr's fret as long as Noah eats well. *The wreath is so cool...

Colleen

heh!!! how dare you feed him milk.

oh, and my three year old weighed 29 lbs at his three-year check-up...he only gained about 20 lbs in his 3 years of life and can you imagine what our pediatrician was saying? She looked at us like we were starving him because he was born in the 90th percentile for weight/height, but at three years old he was in the 25th percentile for weight and 5th percentile for height. THe child eats more than I do at most meals, but I think she thought we were lying. I think he made it up to her when he did a fancy monkey dance for her while only wearing his pull-ups...which was just prior to the blood-letting which prompted him to proclaim, "stop widda fingah!!!"

Colleen

oh...and I don't have a peephole. obviously the former owner of our house must've been so scared by what she saw around the holidays (since it seems to be a pandemic) that she filled in the peephole.

Jessica

We actually have been separated at birth. That peephole thing? So right up my alley.

amy

Oh my lordie...thanks for the laugh!

BOSSY

You're not dumb, just Evergreen Challenged.

Emily

When my little girl was about 18 months she started losing weight and the doctors freaked. She never was much of an eater, and when she started running around, she just didn't take in enough calories. Of course, the doctors thought all sorts of terrible things might be going wrong, so it was all a bit scary for awhile.

Anyways, we added Carnation Instant Breakfast to her milk in the morning, and she gained a bit of weight and loved it. Might be worth trying ...

Mallory

Okay, so I checked out your site because, apparently, you're eFamous, and I was all pooh-pah, and, 'Bet this chick is boring' as your site loaded, but then I started reading and realised why you're so famous --- Because you're fantastic. And ttly not boring in any sense. You made me laugh and laugh for like ten years, and then giggle violently for another 45 seconds. =D

ILY!

Also, the only similar needle incident I've been through, is when my little brother went to get the flu shot for the first time. He screamed loud enough to still the waters, kicked the needle as the nurse tried to administrate it into his arm, screamed some more ... And, well, she got a flu shot instead, basically.

Catty Ax Lady

Oh my. I think I may have just peed my pants a little (uhm, from laughing, of course, about the wreath). It even made Big Boss man get up to read what the hell was going on...out of his mouth? "Honey, that's something you would do".

Poor wittle thighs. I'm sure he'll get over it. Although I have boys, and they're heathens...and they got shots when they were babies. Maybe it's their payback?

molly

that wreath just cracked me up.

tamara

Olive oil and half-n-half on everything! That can help fatten them up. If you (or your kid) doesn't like pediasure (mine sure didn't) there's this great stuff called Nature's Parade Shake. Mix in up with milk, and it provides the exact same nutrition, AND it happens to be Very tasty!

Lela

OMG! It's a ninja christmas tree!

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