You still have 45 minutes to knock this blog out of the top spot at the Weblog Awards, and I recommend that you go do that.

Wow. So, okay. You guys have really strong feelings about the Eyeball Lamp. You guys really hate the Eyeball Lamp.  I mean, I knew it was ugly, and I will even admit that it does look more like some kind of odd ceiling protuberance* than an actual light fixture, but I guess I've just learned to ignore it. Probably because I've spent the last 11 months crawling around the baseboards with 12 million beige paint chips while cursing the previous homeowners and their crazy beige paint fetish and dear God why didn't we just fucking repaint the house when we moved in.

So obviously, I have just been too busy to notice the ceilings. Or maybe I am actually a little terrified that I'll have to touch up the paint around the light fixture and discover that they also bought 17 slightly different shades of white paint too.

*I don't believe I have ever used "protuberance" in a sentence before. Go me!

And now I'm ASHAMED. I've had people over to my house! I've had guests spend the night on our sleeper sofa DIRECTLY BELOW the Eyeball Lamp, in all its nipple-like protuberanceness.

I have been exposing my innermost thoughts and secrets and dreamy little dreams to the Internet for four whole years now, but now I'm all, "GAH! GO AWAY! STOP LOOKING AT MY UGLY LAMP!"

I must say, however, that I enjoyed Nic's suggestion that I decorate the Eyeball. Give it some lashes, perhaps.

It's a good start, but a little plain.

Blue eyeshadow = instant class.

But nothing quite tops blue contact lenses.

It could also be the all-seeing Eye of Sauron. Sweet dreams, friends and family! Please let us know if you require an extra pillow.

(Not including this one would put me in direct violation of Internet Law, obviously.)

A few of you disagreed with the eyeball assessment and said it looked more like a nipple, or a boob.

I'll let you insert your own "headlights" joke right here.

And finally, in honor of all the new visitors finding their way over here via the Weblog Awards, here's a visual illustration of the day I was linked on Dave Barry's blog:

It just seems fitting, somehow. In fact, it's downright poetic.