Wish us luck and lunch and more effective social stories
Oh. Yeah. That. No.

The Easy vs. The Good

(Fair warning here: this post is one big emo crybaby jag away from being my own LEAVE BRITNEY ALONNNNNE! video, even though it is not about Britney at all)

(But for real, people. LEAVE BRITNEY ALONNNNNNE!)

So there's this song on one of Noah's Signing Time DVDs -- it's over the end credits and has made me emit a Free-Hugs-Campaign-Like-Snorfle on more than one occasion. Rachel (Signing Time host/creator/Noah's favorite thing this side of creepy animatronic choo-choos) wrote it for her husband, presumably sometime after their first daughter was born deaf and their second daughter was born with spina bifida and cerebral palsy:

It was you and me and the whole world right before us
I couldn’t wait to start
I saw you and dreams just like everyone before us
We thought we knew what we got

And then one day I thought it slipped away
And I looked to my hands to hold on
And then one day all my fear slipped away
And my hands did so much more

So maybe we won’t find easy
But, baby, we’ve found the good
No, maybe we won’t find easy
But, baby, we’ve found the good.

And this is where I'd dissolve into a puddle of mush, because SO BRAVE! So inspirational! So RISING TO THE OCCASION!

(Bear with me, folks, it's been a hormonal day year decade.)

I've been singing that last chorus a lot this past week (in my head, of course, I have no desire to inflict that sort of suffering on my family), mostly every time I come to Typepad and stare at a blank entry page.

I'm so tired of this. Of writing the same, whiny entry about how hard therapy is and how badly Noah behaves at his little classes and trying to think of a new and "funny" way to describe a temper tantrum. And really, what's the point? This little blip in Noah's development has been documented enough. I've gotten valuable advice and support and my goodness, it's been a huge help. (Transitional objects from home! Photo album of the classroom!) But at this point, I don't really need any more reassurance that we're doing the right thing, because I know we're doing the right thing. I know it will get better, but in the meantime how many times can I write that hey, we aren't there yet?

There are plenty of blogs out there where you can read about how tough motherhood is and how much it can suck and how impossible kids are. I never wanted to be of those, particularly since this blog was always intended to be read by its very precious main subject someday.

Lately I've struggled with a lot of stuff I never wanted to be. Back in the pre-Noah days, when I bargained with God and the universe for a baby, back when I pledged a Holy Mother Christ-like level of care and love for whatever hypothetical baby I ended up with. Oh, I was going to do everything right and lovelovelove shinyrainbowunicornbutts. I was never going to yell or lose my temper or be that mom storming out of the grocery store dragging a limp-noodle screaming toddler behind her by the arm with that grim look of oh my god I will KILL the first person who even DARES look at me cross-eyed and judge my parenting.

I guess some days the best you can hope for is never again. Or maybe just that it'll happen when you're shopping at an off time, thus reducing the number of witnesses.

(Here's where the bad stand-up comedian in me wants to slide in a rimshot like, "Motherhood Would Be So Much Easier Without All These Damn Kids!" Ha! Lemme cross-stitch that onto a sweatshirt for ya.)

It's certainly not in my nature to sugarcoat anything -- more so these days than ever -- but by writing about and focusing on the Hard, I feel like I'm missing out on the Good.

On Wednesday Noah sat in my lap and ate some Cheerios and after a few minutes I slid him into a chair next to his classmates. He stayed there. He poked a piece of pineapple when asked, he shared his cup with the girl next to him, he obediently put his plate and fork in the clean-up bucket. He went to the bookshelf like the teacher told him to before resuming his temporarily paused freak-out.

On Thursday he played well with the other children during free time. He watched a boy send a car down a slide and started to go for the car before pausing to see if the other boy was really done playing with it. He used sign language to ask for a turn. The other little boy signed no, and Noah calmly went to find another car. Free time ended. Stuff happened. It was hard. But then he sat and ate a snack and drank from a juice box for the very first time.

Last night he took a pasta noodle and pressed it across his face like a mustache. He declared himself to be "a PopPop!"


It's all so very, very good.



Thanks for sharing. Especially the picture. :)

Vaguely Urban

Noodle humor = pure comedy! I need to adopt some Noah funny-skills so that I can offset the parts of me that are difficult from those who love me.


We thank you for sharing all the "good" too.


Those are some pretty damn good "Goods" alright! Go Noah!


Good for you. Life is good and fun and full of ups and downs and all we can ask is that the downs aren't so bad and the ups are rocking.
Poor Britney. There's a picture of her that looks like she's thinking "Leave me alone!" and I feel so bad for her and can imagine how hard this must all be. Be it her fault or not, no one deserves this. We should all be allowed to have our breakdowns alone and in peace!


Um, that song literally makes my heart clench and unclench with emotion. Love it.

Two, I think having a child with special needs is a long process of understanding it, coming to terms, helping your child, helping yourself. It's definitely a journey, and day to day you can see your perspective changing and bouncing all over the place. I know someone who ONLY sees the bad, the struggle, the challenge and NEVER the success, both long term and short term.
It will definitely help you to see Noah's small successes that escalate to big success, and it will help Noah to become more self-aware too, that yep, some things are harder for him and he will have to work harder or do it differently to reach the same thing, but that's OK, that's "normal" too. So yay Amy and yay Noah and Jason!! Yay to everyday successes.


Thanks. It's been a very long week with a sick, cranky 2 year old who had the mother of all major melt downs at bed time last night. I needed some reminding of the "good".


It is hard. I especially like how you said, "sometimes the best we can hope for is never again" - so true. We are all doing the best we can. And right now my best is ignoring that GD christmas tree spewing needles every where and screaming "why am I still here!" and lying down while my toddler tornado takes a nap. sigh


If you did not have those moments, days, weeks, when you got caught up in the Bad or the Sucky, if you only focused on the Good and Light and Sparkly of motherhood all the time, we would all think you were overly medicated.

Motherhood should be featured on Dirty Jobs. Because seriously, it is the toughest job ever. The same little beings for whom I would take a bullet or carve out my own kidney with a dull spoon are the same little horrid children who make me want to poke my own self in the eye with a pencil or go donate a kidney just to have some peace and quiet in the hospital.

If the Bad didn't sometimes come up and bite us all in the butt, we would never know how Good the Good really is.

You are a great mom. Noah is a great kid. And when he is being a Toddler with Issues, just remember someday, you can ground him for it.


Sometimes, I think if a million mothers before us had bad days and couldn't help but display them openly in grocery stores, what makes us think we're any different? Perhaps they're all right, toddlers are down right difficult.

Therapy is never ever easy.

How's the PMS coming? Or is it...pregnancy weepies?!?

Someone Being Me

I'm glad to hear some progress is being made and you are finding some new perspective. He is a beautiful and perfect Noah. Just be glad the paparazzi aren't standing outside the grocery store when you drag out the limp noodle toddler. That is enough to make any mother lose it.


Hey! My wife loves that song. Check out the youtube video she made for hir first birthday.


sounds like your little guy is coming along nicely!

Badness Jones

It's never easy. And no one's perfect. I was that crazy mother the other day, but the kids were in a cart, and it wasn't them I was mad at....Glad to hear you're finding the bright side, 'cause that's one adorable kid you've got there.


In the new year, resolve to dwell on the positive and not the negative.

You have a wonderful little boy and are a fabulous writer. This is why people take time from their lives to click and see what you guys are up to today. Keep up the good work.


love the noodle humor!


i can't imagine anything better that you could give noah than this blog. even when you write about 'the hard,' imagine what it will feel like for him to know how very, very loved he is. not just by you, but by the world. i guess some people would consider that creepy, but noah will have always lived in this world where people are just a mouse-click away...i don't know. i just think it's going to be a really positive thing.
even if jason did put him in a pot that one time.


I have

We may not find easy but
Baby, we found the good*

inscribed on my iPod.

That song was/is my theme song. I also get a lot of out "Show Me a Sign." My first (8/05) had only a few words by the time she was 18 months old, and I was so desperate for communication with her. That's when Signing Time! came in our lives, and it has made ALL of the difference. I can't hear "Show Me a Sign" without thinking about my first.

It's hard to write about things being hard for your kids. Much easier to make something funny when you can make fun of the subject (i.e. when it's just you). You're doing a great job, and I think that Noah will get a lot out of learning that it's only when you become a parent that you find out all of the ways you can fall short - and all of the ways you never knew you could go so far.

*The lyrics aren't exact because the exact lyrics wouldn't fit in the space provided.


Sorry to rain on the "go Amalah" parade here, but HE'S TWO. They throw tantrums. They don't want to do what you want them to. And if you are having such a hard time with him, why are you trying so hard to get pregnant? Sorry, but I just don't get you anymore.


If the Bad didn't sometimes come up and bite us all in the butt, we would never know how Good the Good really is.

Can someone please give me an iPod so I can have THAT inscribed on it? Kudos, Missie!


Me thinks you found the good.


Delurking to let you know that I don't come here for the funny, and I'm not driven away by the emo posts. I keep checking your site day after day for the real, which you write about so honestly and beautifully.


I guess sometimes things like this just take time. For you, but for him especially. And isn't it incredibly unfair that the things we want the MOST take the most time? What does the Universe think, we're just MADE of PATIENCE? As if.

Yeah, I've never been good at waiting.


Wheee for funny noodle-Noah's progress!
Seriously he seems to have done SO much better this week. Yay! :)

Miss Britt

Last month I felt like every post I wrote was about my depression. And it was so nauseating - but it was consuming my life even more than it was my blog.

Of course, mine was something I could go "do" something about - where as your hard is something you just kind of have to ride out.

I guess in the mean time, we try to thank God for the Good.


Yay for awesome Noah!!!


A friend once said to me, "we do the best we can. And when we know better, we do better." I think that is the perfect motto for parenting.

Everyone has good and bag days. Noone is a perfect parenting. My new years resolution was to stop all the yelling already. I broke that day one.

Hang in there.


Oh, Amy. The moustache thing. If I had witnessed that in person, I think I might have exploded. Kids are so amazing.


That song turned me to mush and I don't even have kids!

At the pediatric therapy center where I worked in Texas, we had this one mother who could not get past the "Woe is me, my son has aspergers" and we were all so sad for her since she was missing all of the great progress that he was making and what an amazing kid he was, despite and in part likely because of the aspergers.

Good for you for not missing it. Know that people who work with special kids have all of the admiration in the world for parents like you.

Crystal D

I don't know if anyone has told you lately, so I will...
You are a good mom and you are going a good job. It's just a hard job and it makes it hard to see the good when the bad and the hard hurt so much.


First, molly, shut up.

Second, Amy, good for you! I always try to remember that God gives us the bad so we can appreciate the good even more.

Also, even though you want to share this with Noah some day, never stop being your "true" self here and complaining/being emotional. I know for me, when I get online and put things out there that is my way of "dealing" with it and making life more manageable. Its better to vent here than to/at Noah. And in the end, when he's old enough and having kids of his own, he'll have this to look back on and see "it really is doable."

Good luck with everything and know we're all rooting for you all!


I can't believe that I'm going to use this phrase, because it's SO hackneyed. But I'll say it anyway: I read your blog because you are real. You talk about the joys and frustrations, the funny, good, and the bad. You clearly love your kid and you're doing your best and I am impressed with your best.

That's what I try for as a parent ---- the best I can do. And I greatly admire what you write because it's real.

And now I have tears in my eyes. Again. And it's all your fault.


He's the best "a Pop Pop" imitator ever. Thank you for sharing the good too.

Lemon Sherbet

Molly, get lost. Some children have issues, more than just they won't do as they're told. It's medical... and needs treatment. Any parent who tells you life with kids is easy is a liar, either that or they didn't do much parenting. Does that mean people don't want more than one child or don't want the child they have? No, it just means they're human and recognise issues they're having.

@Amy, I admire you're strength and determination. Seriously, I'd have crumbled.

She Likes Purple

Oh my am I crying.


Maybe Molly doesn't have kids???

It's your blog, write what you want to write. Thanks for keepin' it real.

anne nahm


jive turkey

Here's to the good.


"Sorry to rain on the "go Amalah" parade here, but HE'S TWO. They throw tantrums. They don't want to do what you want them to. And if you are having such a hard time with him, why are you trying so hard to get pregnant? Sorry, but I just don't get you anymore."

I agree with Molly. He is two. Some of the things you say happen all the time with that age group. And aren't you worried that using sign is going to cause an even more of a delay with his speech? If this is all too much for you, get a break. Put him in daycare/pre-school part time. Don't compound this with an infant.


Is Molly the owner of the elusive guidebook to children written by unicorns and leprechans? Each kid is different - just like parents are all different. You do what you can do, you pray you're doing the right thing, and occasionally the clouds will part, the angels will sing, and you'll know you're on the right track.


Seriously!?! The "molly"'s need to read the archives!

I know I don't post a comment a lot, but I'm bored at work today and this is really upsetting me today!

(1) do your research. Sign language is being encouraged for ALL infants. Not to mention, if you read teh archives, you'd see it was recommend for her to do the sign language.

(2) "happen all the time" -- yes, 2 year olds have tantrums (i.e., why called the terrible twos) BUT when a child has a known problem, do you ignore it and just say "its because he's two" --- is that an excuse that you will always use? "Britney's a child star. She'll have issues. Don't worry about it. Its normal." NO! You work with it and try to help or you have 3 hour stand offs with police!

(3)NO ONE has the right to tell someone with a child that has a developmental problem not to have another child. That is insane. Furthermore, if everyone who had a child that gave them headaches the world would be serverely under populated because no one would ever have more than 1 child and anyone with nieces/nephews/etc. would never have children.

I will now step off my soapbox. But as someone who has seen parents who IGNORE issues and then always complain about their "behavior" instead of getting help, I have to commend Amy!

So, Amy, good job! You are an amazing mother. If you didn't want to pull your hair out sometimes over some of this stuff, then you wouldn't be a bood mother. If you didn't enjoy the "goods," then you wouldn't be a good mother. I'm going to continue to keep my fingers crossed for a second bundle of joy for you and Jason!


Yikes. Well it's already been said. If you've got a child who is not entirely typical, some things can really suck and it's not just because said child is two. Many of us commenters already know that extremely well (and really shame on me for falling for the Molly bait, but oh I couldn't help myself).

My typical 2 year old is OH SO MUCH EASIER than my first one. The 'typical' tantrum is a walk in the park. And the absence of elevated levels of stress/worry/concern for the second one really makes it much easier to deal with tantrums and 2-year behavior.

Oh, yeah, and I tear up Every Single Time I hear "Show me a sign".


Hey Amy,
I totally "get" your broken-record feeling, but please don't think we are all out here thinking "when is she going to find new material?" I'm sure I speak for many who read your blog for the "reality check" of knowing that there are other parents out there who struggle day to day with the very same stuff that we other moms struggle with. I am honored that you share so much of noah's life with us all and enjoy the daily reports on the ups and downs of his toddler-dom. Just as I do with my real-life friends. Please don't think you need to "entertain" us all the time; I come here because I can relate to you, and well the ascerbic wit and pee-your-pants funny stories just enhance the awesomeness of your blogging!


Thanks, guys.

And whatEVER, mollies. Nice try, but my lands, you're both idiots. (If there are two of you, and not just someone running from one computer lab to another to agree with herself.)

*adjusts tin foil hat*


Gotta echo pp--your blog is hilarious and heartwrenching whether the topic is tantrums or tannins. That said (warning: potential assvice ahead)...Is it so wrong for you (or the "mollys" of the world) to wonder if this whole EI thing is worth it? Our pediatricians told our parents "he's two" or "she's two" and not to worry. Now, our kids' pediatricians are gasping and saying "She doesn't sing in key? This kid needs EI--stat!" It's like the BFing thing--"BFing Kills," and 20 years later, "Formula Kills." I can't help but think that something in between these two generational extremes is the soundest approach.

Maybe Noah's one of the kids that EI really will help and maybe he's not. Maybe it's all just a big waste of time and stress. In the end, it doesn't really matter, does it? Having a kid with "issues" sucks big donkey "a-balls" however you're "dealing" with it. And your way of dealing with it--by focusing on "the good"--strikes me as the best thing going.

So, keep focusing on the good and, when in doubt, go get back to those tannins! (that thwack was the sound of an internet "go get em tiger" tushy swat)


amy- this may be an unpopular response, but i can't help but write it. I saw my mom enter the same cycle with my special needs brother. she was so focused on him and his ups and downs she lost herself. Not saying you are there yet, but your wittings are so reminiscent i can't help but want to cry.. May i suggest you need some non Noah time. Get a baby sitter once a week or once every other week and get out without him. even if it's just to go to the stupid grocery store, or get your nails done. Just an hour off once a week will give you a refreshed feeling. Dealing with a child like noah has it's many blessings and many challenges, but please don't lose your wonderful self in him. your right it is incredibly hard, but by being relaxed and happy you will be a better mom.
Keep up the good work. Noah is a lucky child to have such a committed mom.

Lisa M

Noah is making progress. He's loved, he's loving, he's wonderful, and just keep on loving him. And I don't mind reading your posts because many of us feel the same way...being a mom can be crazy fun and overwhelming too. It's all good! Thank you for sharing this, and Noah, with us!!

anastasia beaverhausen

How's that old saying go? "One step forward and two steps back"? Yeah...add another step back and you've adequately described parenthood in all its stages. It's the one step forward that makes it all worth it and keeps us from hanging ourselves by our own hair in a tree where everyone can see. I hear you. Keep writing. It's all honest and it's all worth reading.


That is very good, very good indeed!

And molly. *rolls eyes* Shut up.

Serendpity, Baby!

I'm pretty sure noodle humour is the height of development(oh wait? You say that's only the case in my house where I haven't outgrown it? Hmm)

I had the privilege (and I mean just that word) of working with kids with severe disabilities as a teenager and I'm greatful for it. I recognize Noah doesn't fit that category but it doesn't change how hard it undoubtedly is on you.


I think the good sounds pretty darn good.


My favorite things about your blog are that you describe motherhood in the exact same way that I experience it, and that Noah will have this wonderfully thorough accounting of a time in his life that he will likely not remember.

I accidentally did this kind of thing for my three kids with videos of their every waking moments, baby books, memory boxes,and journals. They are 15,18,and 23 and they love reading my stories and watching themselves being sweet and amazing and little. If there had been blogging when they were wee you can bet there would have been a thorough accounting of the good, the very good, and the not so good for them to see too.

Motherhood is a wonderous journey. That you find enjoyment putting the experience into words and pictures is a gift to us all.


Awh! Between the song and the story and the noodle picture, you made me cry!


i'm so glad to hear that it went well. things are looking up finally, you deserve it.
how was the bacon?


Yay Noah! And Yay Amy! You are doing an awesome job. I don't have kids yet, but I hope that when I do, I am as in tune with my child's needs as you are. And I think Noah is the most precious kid!


I have a 3 year old and 1 year old…my 3 year old has striking similarities to Noah. I remember telling his speech therapist to stop singing “at him”. I cried every time we went; I can still hear the screams. I took turns with my husband to share in the fun. Eventually, he got better about participating and I (sadly) felt better when a new kid would come and scream louder than my kid. Big huge hugs, good moms rule!

One comment to some of the above ...For those who do not have children or have very typical children, you really have no idea.


That's okay, Mollytwins. We don't "get" you, either. If you like Amy, yet tire of her "endless" NoahTalk, then try Mamapop or The Advice Smackdown. Amy's pretty versatile and has lots to say on a number of topics. This is where she comes to talk about her FAMILY. On second thought, don't bother. You wouldn't "get" her on those sites either. Try childlessyetfullofadvice.com and post away!


Hey~ That song gets me too! My husband actually wanted to get it on his itunes (yes, he may have been drunk when he requested it.)

Motherhood is a bitch. But like me, a good bitch.

Love ya!


Wow, he actually sat? On a chair by himself? That's huge progress from the last time, right?

Noah's gonna rule the world one day with his chair-sitting superpowers!


It's so crazy how somedays it just happens. Those are the days that make the bad ones seem not so bad.


So it's not just me dragging the limp noodle toddler out of Target while other, clearly perfect, mothers tut tut at me? Ok, good.

Kinda precious... thanks for the post. We all need reminders of why we do this motherhood thing.


Amalah - any day you can separate the forest from the trees is a great day. I think you do a wonderful job of that. If it makes you feel any better, when I read your blog I find my self thinking, "Why can't I find as much joy in my children as she finds in Noah?" Keep up the good work.


I like everything you write. If you're having a rough time and need to write a few posts about it, it's YOUR blog. I'll still be here reading :)

And way to go with Lunch Bunch, Noah! Chair-sitting, cup-sharing, asking for a turn, those are all huge achievements for any two year old!


Now listen, all of you: Amalah and Jason and Noah are a wonderful family, full of love and caring for one another. What you choose to do about your family situation, i.e., dealing with various situations, having more kids or not, is totally your business. I know most of your readers totally get this, but now and again there's one who doesn't.

Oh, and just a question: does Noah's Pop-Pop have a mustache, noodle or not? That was just seriously cute.


It's just like the 80's sitcom theme - you take the good, you take the bad...something something something...the facts of life, the facts of life.
...I so wish I had a Mrs. Garret and super cool hair like Blair Warner when I have one of those Facts of Life Days, but I digress.
At any rate - I think these challenges make you a better mom and a better person. And I totally think you are rockin the house hard core in the mommy department. And it is good to get it out in the blog when you are having a bad day.


And by the way - Molly and Mollysright - if you are both not in fact the same person - you can suck it.* You have no freaking clue.
*Sorry if that violates the be nice rule - but seriously, what the hell?


Zee ladies, zey love zee noodle mustaches.


From the outside looking in.... what you just posted, all those things Noah did this week are HUGE progress! YEAH NOAH! It's SO hard to wait and take the little tiny steps to get to where we're going.



We have that video and I love that song too. Glad to know I'm not alone for sheepishly getting choked up when I hear it.

Wacky Mommy

Write what you want, when you want, how you want. (My blogging mantra.) I think I shall begin writing more about sex toys and less about, say, public schools. You think parenting stuff can get dull? Try talking schools, it's deadly.

I had a frickin' miserable time -- not constantly, but on a too-regular basis -- when my kids were tiny. Especially when they'd do the arch-back thing and... oh, shit. It makes my back torque just thinking about it. Then everyone who walked by would grin and say I JUST LOVED THAT AGE! and I'd think, "Meth?" because they were obviously "high."

Sorry for the long comment, just know you're not alone. One of my girlfriends said Well, you signed up for it, deal, and I felt even *more* like crap. Which I didn't think was possible. Those people -- just tune 'em out. And hang in -- it's so much easier when they're a little older. I mean it.


OMG, you people with your assvice need to shut up.

Amy, you are doing a great job, I'm so glad to hear how well he's doing.

Megan M

Here's a take on a different issue. I think Noah is going to love this blog -- when he's about 30. It took me 30 years to realize that my mom is a human being as well as a mother, and now that I understand that, I've suddenly started to take an interest in what the experience of raising me was like FOR HER. Be as real as you want to be; tell him what it really was like when he was two. If you want to make it all sunshine and unicorn butts, go ahead and make that scrapbook you don't currently have. I think this is fantastic, and when he's an adult he'll love it.



Sounds like he took some big steps in the right direction! Good job, Noah. And hang in there, Amy. You wouldn't be real if you didn't get frustrated sometimes, and Noah needs a mom who loves him far more than a perfect mom.
Also, noodle=preshus.


What a goofball! Who Noah is is still unfolding day by day and I really do appreciate you sharing about the good and the bad. We were at the GI today and she was all "I don't know how you do it, Mrs. K" ...being that I've been blessed with three lovely refluxers with feeding issues. Yay, me! .... On the way home, I was thinking that it's not how I do it, but why. In the end I think that matters more. They grow up, they eat (something or another) and they're happy. You have a crazy cute little man and he's going to be just fine.


Don't ever feel like you are exhausting this topic. He is your child. He is your life. It's what you write about on this blog.

And yea for the 2 steps forward :)


You know, I read this, and thought immediately - Progress! Yes!! And I know that wasn't the oomph of your post, but as an outside observer and stranger who does care about you, I observe that there is progress here. And while it's not lightning speed, it's happening, and really relatively quickly. So, yay! Go, Noah! Go, preschool! Go, you!


Dear amalah,
i love you
(so not in a creepy way)


Hey there- this reminds me so much of my first daughter, Annie. When I get honest with myself, my biggest fear was that she wasn't normal. Sounds terrible- but there you have it. Turn outs- no one is normal. One by product of this new generation of parenting skills is this predisposition of all children should fit into a single mold. That wasn't the case for me. My kid had epic tantrums--- epic! Turns out, people grow at different times- and it just took her a bit longer to adjust. Anywhoo... thanks so much for sharing- and soon, the lunch bunch will get better. I promise!


You wrote...
I know it will get better, but in the meantime how many times can I write that hey, we aren't there yet?

And the answer to THAT, of course, is As Many Times As It Takes. As many times as you NEED. As many as you want, Amy. Because most of us genuinely care about you and your little family, and are happy to praise and support and encourage and commiserate, whenever you need it, like a living room filled with 587 of the best girlfriends EVER.

So do feel free to kvetch whenever you need to do so. Just one thing, please: never, ever lose the funny, or the ability to convey your love for Noah when things are dark. That love is very clear, even in your saddest, most frustrated posts.

FWIW, one of your fellow mommybloggers seems to have lost that ability. Her blog increasingly reads like a litany of complaint and woe and irritation. I have begun to speculate that perhaps she doesn't LIKE her son very much. It's probably (hopefully!) not true, but her words are devastating and harsh. Her kid? Should NEVER read her blog, even when he's 92.

Noah, on the other hand, when he reads your blog someday, will love you more with every word.


So I guess I'm all alone in hating the Signing Time videos, huh? Those kids are CREEPY, man. And the hands! What's with the hands!?!

We're sticking with baby einstein for now. At least Marlee Matlin doesn't give me the heebie jeebies.

Hooray for sitting on chairs! Baby steps, baby steps.


The picture is so, so good. You are doing an amazing job as Noah's mommy.


"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain." - unknown


I love you and I don't even know you!



Amy, I am one person that can definitely appreciate the value of a good rant. I know you love your child, and there is waay more good than bad, but sometimes you just need to let it out to someone that will listen. And that's okay.
While it's always better to concentrate on the good, don't censor yourself to keep to it. We love your writing just the way it is.


I was a way better mom before I had kids. Your example of the carrying a child by one arm? THAT in particular was what I swore I would never do.

I do it pretty much on a regular basis now.

Sometimes it's hard to notice the good when the bad is so traumatizing, but it makes a huge difference. And it's always there.


I've thought this a million times, but never actually got the nerve to write it: As an ABA therapist, I thank you for seeking therapy now, rather than when he's in 3rd grade and falling apart. Honestly, every day when I go to work with a kiddo who is 13 and just began therapy, it breaks my heart because his quality of life would be absolutely a million times higher if his parents (and DHW, cheap bastards) heeded the early warning signs and had gotten him some help. I know I can help this kiddo quite a bit, but he will never be able to re-attain the full potential he had when he was 3. Three year old tantrums are about a thousand times easier to endure (though hardly a good time) than 13 year old tantrums. Thank you for enduring them now. p.s. I love your bitty, barely noticeable touches, like the "Remember me because I'm special" checkbox. so fun!


I am so pleased for you guys - lots of 'steps in the right direction' and 'sun breaking through the clouds moments'.


You, are awesome. Seriously, thank you for sharing.


Focusing more on the good will bring more good. :) It's a good plan!

That song is so inspiring. Thanks for sharing it.


That's the thing that your mom never tells you about having kids. It's hard and it sucks- most of the time. The good? The happy? Tiny little crumbs in comparison. You just have to learn to be grateful for the crumbs : )


Um..so, the thing I focused on, being as my family just got over icky, sticky, nasty stomach bug, was that they make them share cups with the children next to them. Eek. That's Rotavirus waiting to happen! :0)

But, hooray for sign language. My nephew uses it all the time AND he's quite verbal. That's all I wanted to say. You're awesome and I want to be your friend. I'm only friends with awesome people.


I have a child with a learning disability. The weight sometimes is crushing, it is so hard to focus on the positive good stuff. I feel like sometimes people think I am making it all up, but they don't see our home life, they don't see what she is like after her meds wear off. It's OK to feel bad, but just remember to enjoy the goodness too!


Read this book. "I Was A Good Mother Before I had Kids." It made me feel so much better about the Bad days. (Which with the whole "Not Normal" stuff we have here is sometimes a LOT.) But lately I have come to realize that it is okay. And someday maybe I can write a really funny book about it all. (Especially since we can't have any more babies....more time to write!!) Good job at the lessening tantrums at the "Lunch Bunch" he's getting there!!


I'm proud of how hard you're working to get through this with Noah. You're both worth the time and energy it takes. Bad moments and good moments are what make life ...well...life. I like to focus on the good as much as I can (raising teen age boys, over here!), but sometimes, I need to WHINE. Do what you need to do when you need to do it without worrying about what's entertaining or funny. We're going to listen, either way.


Delurking to let you know we come back to read the good, the bad and the ugly, whatever you have to share. Because We Like You. Most of us wish we could come share a glass of wine with you, with an afternoon cheez-it tray, during the melt down hours. People (Molly & Trolls) who have no compassion, nor understanding of the issues you face can go somewhere else to read.


I've noticed the "molly effect" on yours and another one of my favorite blog sites today. There seems to be some sort of entitlement felt by these people that if they don't "get" you or you aren't as entertaining to them personally in a post then you are letting them down. I just don't get that. A blog is about whatever the writer wants to talk about. A blog like yours is about your life, right? This isn't network tv and the mollys aren't uptight corporate sponsors. If they don't "get" your writing, then they can go find another blog to read. They aren't even complaining to you, rather it's like they HAVE to tell you that you are doing it wrong. Other than not posting anymore, I'm not sure how you can blog "wrong".

Love reading about your life. Really happy that all you've been doing to support Noah in his development seems to be moving him along in the right direction.


Oh my god, people. By the same token that Amalah is allowed to write about what she wants in this PUBLIC forum, aren't comments that don't perfectly dovetail with everyone else's opinion allowed? I NEVER said, insinuated or implied that Amalah could not write about whatever subject she chooses at any time, or how many times she could write about it. I merely commented on the fact that her little boy is two years old and since I TOO have a little boy who is two, I know that they have tantrums, and that they want to be independent. I also asked the (perfectly legitimate, by the way)question that if she is having such a hard time with ONE, won't TWO be even more difficult, especially since a lot of time seems to be needed with Noah?
And thank you, Amalah, for calling me an idiot. I have read this blog for a long time, and since our boys are close in age, I used to feel an affinity for you. I will leave and never come back, don't worry. Enjoy your little fan club- perhaps you should turn this into a members only site so that nobody will step out of line.


I appreciate you clarifying some of your intent and where you were coming from *now*, but you should have spent a bit more time on your original post if you didn't want many of us to believe you weren't being mean-spirited, ill-informed and fickle. You know what they say about being careful how you choose your words and communicate in email and online is true.


Molly, girlfriend - your original comments did more than not "dovetail", they were mean.
So peace out and don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you.


I'm a little late to the game, but I wanted to offer my sappy internet hugs for your non-existant scrapbook from a random blog reader.


Blogging is a catharsis that many of us forget to embrace. Pour out your soul, honey! We'll keep reading, lift you up when you need a boost, and cheer you on when you post happy again. :-)

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