Monkey On My Back (oh, don't worry, I've still got a zillion monkey-puns left)
February 05, 2008
(I've typed this out twice in the comments but just to make it totally Crystal-Pepsi-Clear: when I said "strong opinions" I did NOT mean "asshole opinions." I meant it more like, HOLY SHIT, there were close to 300 comments on what I thought was a REALLY BORING TOPIC. There was no draaaaahmaaa, other than a couple obvious trolls who got themselves deleted because they were obvious trolls who made no sense because trolls never make sense because they live under bridges and probably don't qualify for library cards.
There were comments I agreed with and a couple I didn't but even the most assvice-y of the comments were written respectfully and coherently. I was definitely more interested in your personal stories, but I am aware that "hey, tell me what YOU did" often gets mistranslated out here as "hey, tell me what YOU think I should do" and the conflicting advice starts flowing like wine and honestly in the end all that wine makes me sleepy.)
(HOWEVER!)
(THE IRONY STARTS HERE!)
So I was carrying Noah out to the car earlier today when my foot slipped on the edge of the sidewalk leading up to our house and my ankle twisted and I fell down and over the concrete steps and I dropped Noah on his back and his head hit the pavement and and my knees skidded on the pavement and he is fine and I am fine except that I look like this:
If they were LOLegs, I bet the caption would be something like: HAR HAR IMPECKABLE TIMING! or NOM NOM NOM GRAVEL! or MY POETIC JUSTICE: LET ME SHOW U IT.
Yikes!
I didn't comment the other day b/c you had way too many and well my advice was more of the same. William, who just turned two and is supposed to be napping right now, sometimes walks and sometimes doesn't. Today he said "Up Now" and I said "No Up Now." He got over it, but sometimes he DOES NOT. Then I have a crazy child on my hands and well I'm once again THAT MOM. So, basically I have no advice. Just keep trying different things until something clicks.
That is one sad looking boo-boo. Maybe Noah will now think that carried=dropped and decide he safer on his own 2 feet! I hope you don't have too much pain. If you do, I'm sure you have adequate amounts of wine to dull it.
So . . . are you just clumsy, or drunk already?
Oh NO! I skinned my knees when I was six months pregnant with my last daughter and I forgot how much that shit hurts! They sting and you can't really bend them. I whined for days. Heal up soon!
Ouch! That looks painful. We have 2 sets of stairs in my house and I am ALWAYS afraid of tumbling down them while carrying my 6 month old (because I have fallen on my butt going down those stairs, just not yet while carrying a 20 lb monkey - yes, a 6 month old). Hope all boo boos are okay.
Owie! I HATE skinned knees above all other boo-boos! But scrapes aside, you have lovely-looking knees!
Did you cry?
I think skinned knees as a adult are 100x more painful!
Did you cry?
I think skinned knees as a adult are 100x more painful!
well if you were looking to stop carrying him now you have a good explanation - it gives mommy boo-boos!
Yep. Lots of wine will take your mind off of skinned knees.
OWWWwww! MAN I'm so sorry- I mean, I know you're fine now but that must have been a pretty scary moment- and those knees look PAINful! Make sure Jason rubs the ankle you twisted ;)
Umm....where are the cool Curious George Band-aids? Didn't you hear? All the hip moms are wearing them these days!
Wow- that sucks.
My mother-in-law had an absolute rule that she would NOT carry a child that was over 2, because she had two friends that carried their large children (read 2.1 months) around and fell and broke an elbow or something.
I disagree strongly, but could see how painful tht might be. However, it was a risk I was willing to take, and continued to carry my daughter until she was almost 3, but I have a runner, so I never felt comfortable letting her walk. At Target and the grocery store, we immediately go from the car to the cart and she was never allowed to get out because she is CRAZY and has NO SENSE. Much like her mother.
Ouch! My husband is often scared to let me hold our son when we go on walks (yes we carry him most all of the time) because I am such a klutz and fall over non-existent cracks in the sidewalk all the time, and I have the scars to prove it.
Glad you were both okay!
Ugh. It is SO MUCH more painful to fall down as a grown-up than it was as a child, isn't it? Every minor fall becomes an ordeal, and we end up writhing around like that lady on that commercial screaming for help because I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!
Just me?
Maybe it's the ego bruising that hurts the most, though.
Your blood is pretty.
owww that looks like it hurt.
though...that IS ironic.
Wow- that sucks.
My mother-in-law had an absolute rule that she would NOT carry a child that was over 2, because she had two friends that carried their large children (read 2.1 months) around and fell and broke an elbow or something.
I disagree strongly, but could see how painful tht might be. However, it was a risk I was willing to take, and continued to carry my daughter until she was almost 3, but I have a runner, so I never felt comfortable letting her walk. At Target and the grocery store, we immediately go from the car to the cart and she was never allowed to get out because she is CRAZY and has NO SENSE. Much like her mother.
nice use of irony, that!
sorry for the owies. just think, if you were forcing him to walk against his will, you could have ended up slipping on the ice and landing ON TOP of him. FAR more embarrassing. and precisely why i cannot live in a cold climate with my children.
i am a superklutz.
Awww that sucks. I know that hurt. Make your husband kiss your booboos.
I LOVE when shit like that happens! Life makes me giggle sometimes...and it also makes me bleed sometimes, too.
You can borrow my neosporin, but I will be needing it back since I can't stop injuring myself.
Of course. How fitting.
But seriously, that is crazy. Feel better--it hurts when you wash skinned knees :(
Wow. I used to have knees like that all the time (when I was 7)! Good news is that knees like that totally don't scar. Like totally.
I stopped carrying my son when I started having neck and shoulder pain. The doctor asked me if I had been doing heavy lifting and when I said, no, just carrying my son, he asked how old he was. My baby was nearly five at the time. And 45 pounds.
One of the reasons why I did it for so long was that I loved carrying him. And it really bothered me that everytime we went somewhere and had to stand in line (Disneyworld, the movies, etc.) his face was level with everyone's asses. So I carried him.
He loved being carried I told him the doctor said I couldn't carry him anymore he ws so okay with it it kind of stung. Although I got over it pretty quickly when I realized how much easier it was to walk without someone's feet banging against your knees!
Noah will become Mr. Independent sooner than you would like so I say, as long as you're not in pain (although your poor knees look pretty ouchy!) and you're not still lugging around a twelve year old, enjoy carrying your beautiful baby boy!
Ouch!
If you squint really hard, the blood on your knees kind of make them look like they have faces. Knee puppets! Mr. Oh Noez is there on the left, and the ghost of Grims McGee on the right.
But the real question is, were there people around to see you fall? Because that always makes everything worse.
My husband tripped on a curb while carrying our...2 year-old at the time...I think. It was at his company picnic, so everyone saw him! He took one for the team and sacrificed his elbows for the sake of our son. He's a good man.
The only real bummer was that I wasn't there to see it!
Yikes! That was always my worst nightmare--still is actually. There are two separate families in the neighborhood who walk babies around without strollers. One is a young couple, (spry like you-ha!)but the other is the grandparent/caregivers and I worry every time I see them. I'm an uber-paranoid Gladys Kravitz. Hope you and Noah are ok!
You can has cooky. Nom nom -cooky makes boo-boos all better.
Those kind STING! Youch!
Oh, no. That qualifies for wine. Lots of wine. And some juice for Noah. I am always afraid of that. Especially when navigating the concrete steps in heels at the front of the church holding Bear. Gives me chills just thinking about it. Glad you are both relatively ok.
yowza!Do you at least have some cool Thomas the train band-aids for those boo boo's?
ouch! carry him. i carried mine whenever...i got places quicker rather than toddler walking. my kids stopped wanting me to hold regularly by the time they were 3. occasionally i get the "hold me! hold me!" from my almost 4 year old, and i love those moments seeing as how she runs away faster now.
I almost hate to say it because it seems sort of inappropriate and perhaps even creepy but what lovely legs you have my dear!
(Sorry about the fall. Anna Sofia ran into a wall at warp speed yesterday - really as if it wasn't even there - and well, it was just pitiful)
(And I wacked my leg a la Nancy Kerrigan with one of those dog toy, Chuck It! ball thrower things because I'm a fucking moron who doesn't know how to play fetch with her dog without injuring herself and now have a nice goose-egg just below my knee that hurts like hell. "Why me? Aaahhhhh! Why me?" heh)
Doh! I did the same thing - I was carrying my 2 year old niece & my foot twisted sideways and I fell flat down onto the cement. The whole time I was going down all I could think of was the best way to fall so she wouldn't touch the ground. I managed to turn onto my side mid-fall & she wasn't hurt - just scared. :) The only thing that was broken was my cellphone in my pocket - and a tear in my favorite pants!
Aww..... did I hurt your feelings? Sometimes the truth hurts!!!!!
So is the next topic going to be how long should Jason carry you?
Yikes. That oughta cure him. ;)
Irony? You can has it! Maybe ban-dayds too.
Nice LOLegs!
Now I'm going to refer to you as "Britney". Ha. Just kidding.
My four year old still tries to pull the carry me crap, but only while I'm holding the two year old and 9 month old. Sometimes I just let her hang on my neck. That should piss some people off, right?
What the hell is with the mean-spirited comments? If they don't like what they are reading...then why are they here? It was their choice...
Sorry, no more ranting. People just irritate me sometimes. Though I second the someone up there (^) who said the next question was how long Jason should carry YOU.
Ditto Nichole regarding the mean-spirited comments!
I still carry my six year old sometimes....just cause he lets me!
Irony sucks donkey nuts, but it makes for a very enjoyable blog, so thanks for wiping out for my amusement. Glad the little man came out unscathed.
Get thee some Spiderman BandAids.
Is it wrong that this picture made me LOL? Sorry. I took a tumble like that when our youngest was almost a year. I was never more thankful that he was wearing a helmet (what can I say, he had a REALLY flat head). I was definitely more traumatized and skinned up than he was. Thanks for sharing your karma!
Dude. Hope Noah's ok. Should we start calling you Grace?
I would stick with the Nom Nom Nom caption. Never fails to crack my ass up.
I didn't comment the other day, because I take my son to work everyday (at a preschool) and he hangs like a monkey on my head sometimes. He pulls my hair and sucks his thumb when he's tired and/or cranky. He's turning three this week. No advice from the "Mom of Monkey Boy".
Owie.....however, does Noah now scream and run at the idea that you might want to pick him up and carry him now? Poor knees, whever I fall over and get a hurt I am astounded at how little kids just get up and carry on while I am traumatised for hours, days even.
Laughing at Kims comment to have a cookie, my husband literally gets the shakes when he sees those cookies with the chocolate squiggly lines on, says his mom always gave him one when he fell over, never seemed to get them any other time but if he was hurt she would produce them from somewhere and now he can't stand to even walk past them in the store!
ok, Maybe this is God's way of telling you that it's time to let the little dude walk on his own..Not that you can't still carry him sometimes, but maybe encouraging him to be a "big boy"