I am not your 28-pound monkey.
Monkey On My Back (oh, don't worry, I've still got a zillion monkey-puns left)

Wow. So. Okay.

1) Very strong opinions in the house re: carrying your toddler.

2) Surprise! I have very strong opinions about your very strong opinions.

3) Super-extra-goddamn surprise! I would like to share my very strong opinions with you.

4) SURPRISE OF THE CENTURY! I cannot share them today, because I need to leave this very second for the Monthly-ish Mamapop Excellence in Entrepreneurialship Summit (in the Generalized Field of Excellence), and if I do not deliver Noah into the worshiped presence of a certain precocious five-year-old SOON there will be hell to pay.

5) However, since I need to close comments on that entry before my head shoots straight off my shoulders and lands in a smoking heap on the floor (after ricocheting off the still-there nipple lamp), let's find something we can all agree on in the meantime.

Your choices:


a) Little boys and long eyelashes, the unfairness of; or


b) Amy's slaved-over daffodil bulbs, the complete dumbassness of.



And women spend so much money for lashes like those...


I would kill for those eyelashes. They don't seem to go away in adulthood either. My husband has the kind of eyelashes I was hoping my $50 mascara would give me. Guess what? It didn't. So not fair.


Yeah. My son has lashes like that (http://hopefullyhome.blogspot.com/2006/02/sleep-of-innocents.html).

Everyone comments on his long, thick lashes. Just so unfair.


Well, I don't really have an opinion on the whole-carry-your-child thing but I do have an opinion on those eyelashes. WOW! Noah is adorable. And I have one on the flowers too - I'm sick of winter and I want spring NOW. Ok, those are all my opinions of today.

Jen O.

And must I point out the gorgeous blond streaks we pay hundreds for?

Can't wait to hear your Very Strong Opinions On Very Strong Opinions On Toddler-Carrying.


Why do guys (little AND big) have such nice eyelashes??? I envy both Noah's and my husband's. Also, I agree with jen- I want spring NOW....
I hope your poor confused daffodils get their act together and don't get themselves killed by frost!
*Mwah* (From a neutral party on the "toddler-carrying" front)


It's not just little boys! My fiance has the best eyelashes and it's just. not. fair.

And also? Why does Noah have such beautiful hair and I have to battle the frizz for perfect waves like his?

imagine community

He's beautiful. And so are your photos.


I would like to discuss the eyelashes-wtf? Why do boys have long eyelashes-it's not like they are going to use them to bat at people-so not fair!


Great eyelashes! And the bulbs will be great, too. Every year I am so surprised to walk out in the Spring and see flowers from nowhere. (Though it is February, isn't it? Maybe a little early for daffodils.)


Little boys. Deliciously long eyelashes. Nuff said.

Of course, if you post this query to the interwebs-at-large, you must prepare yourself for the moment when some obviously well informed asshat tells you that long beautiful lashes are no longer appropriate on boys over 2, and the world would be better off if you just clip them already. I mean, if you leave them, what if they continue to grow until they're two feet long? You want your kid to be able to SEE, don't you?! Also, if you leave them, surely he will grow to be old and miserable and overly dependent on his eyelashes. Much like the previously mentioned asshat. Don't let it happen to you!

(It's possible I accidentally double-posted some segment of this, but I dunno. Apologies if that happened.)


Oh, and your daffodils will turn out fine. Even if it frosts again. Don't you worry 'bout it.


gorgeous eyelashes!

take a picture of the flowers once they bloom please.

I was just at Dupont Farmers' Market yesterday and they were selling containers with bulbs, but alas, I'll be out of town next week.


I noticed yesterday that my bulbs were coming up, too. I slaved over mine as well, and am hoping they don't all bloom and immediately die since it's WAY too early. Bah!


I'm voting for the eyelashes. My sister's little boy has TO DIE FOR eyelashes, and it just kills me. What's more, in my family it's not just the little boys: my brothers (aged 19 and 15) have gorgeous long dark eyelashes, and mine are short and light. Meh.

Someone Being Me

I'm a whatever works for you kind of Mom. Its your child. As long as the child is happy and you are happy then let him set his own pace. I'm sure eventually he will want to hop down and run off to play without a second glance back. And you will wistfully remember when you carried him. I'm loving the eyelashes. But the daffodils are pretty cool too. I can kill a cactus with my brown thumb.


Re: Little Boy Eyelashes, and the Unfairness Of.

I am very angry about this topic. I deserve good eyelashes.

Also, little boys always have the best curly hair. Total unfairness.


I cannot grow a damn thing EXCEPT an adorable little boy also with unfairly gorgeous lashes.


Ok we all seem to be onboard with the lashes but can I just address that the daffodils...so freakin' funny. I know it shouldn't be but come on, you know it totally is. Perhaps I'm just getting flashbacks to my green thumb...or grim-reaper thumb as it has now been dubbed. XP


My two boys (almost 9 and 2) have the best eyelashes. My oldest daughter is almost 6 and hers are absolutely beautiful. She won't be buying any. My newest daughter is only 5 weeks old so only time will tell.
My advice with the bulbs is to cover them at night then uncover them in the morning. It will help the ground hold its moisture and heat. I would try burlap or something like that.
Oh just my advice try taking Noah to find a special pair of shoes, my son wanted shoes that flashed but they only did it when he walked in them. I don't think I carried him until he fell asleep after that. Good luck, and beautiful boy you got there.


That happened to my bulbs the last couple of years in Alexandria. They start to sprout up, but so long as they don't actually bud before another frost, they will be fine and still bloom when they are supposed to. (I actually know nothing about gardening, but my boss when I lived there assured me that this was true.)


Are you implying that because Noah has long eyelashes and my child doesn't, that somehow Noah is better than my child? Is that what you're saying? That children are only adorable if they have the long eyelashes? And the streaky blonde hair? Is that the way you wanna play it? Because I have some strong opinions on that kind of prejudice and I won't stand for mess like that being spread around the internet and then I'll...what? Oh, time for my meds? mKay. Sorry.

As you were.

(and Noah is so adorable that it should be criminal)


Yep, my husband, my toddler and my newborn - all have the long dark lashes.
My lashes - blonde and short and not a damn chance of putting any mascara near them with a toddler and a newborn and a billion other things to do before I get a look at myself. Such injustice.


My son was born with a head of curls and the longest lashes. Everyone thought he was a girl for ages--and would say how unfair it is that boys get the long lashes whenever they found out differently.

I am not jealous of him, only because he got the lashes from me.


LOL Amalah, what? You weren't expecting 200+ answers from your monkeys in the internet? I was all set to give you my opionion on that, but then saw you'd had quite enough.

So on to a better subject... my boy too has the lovely long lashes of languidity and it's entirely unfair! Especially since I can't even seem to wear mascara myself anymore. Apparently I've developed some weird sensitivity since giving birth. Meh, like anyone looks at me anyway with this adorable 22 month old in my arms. ;)


I would like to believe (and this has no basis in science whatsoever, it's just my little brain at work) that boys have nice eyelashes because of the testosterone. So to have the nice lashes, you have to also have the hairy chest or hairy back...(eventually - cause, you know, little boys don't.) Anyway, do I want the eyelashes bad enough to have a hairy chest? Probably not.


I guess I'd better go read those volatile comments on the previous post. Boys always have those long lashes so that Moms will get all weak-kneed when they're fluttered at us while we're discovering a pile of mud and frogs in the laundry room...


My soon-to-be 16 yr. old has those same damn lashes. And they still work on me. Sigh. I love little boys.


Snort! I guess it's not surprising that people had opinions about the carrying-thing, but I'm surprised that people feel so *strongly* about their opinions.

*My* righteous opinion is that you should only consider *my* opinion (and those exactly like it). For easy reference, my opinion (the right one) was posted on Jan 31 at 10:08. I feel so secure in my rightness, that I actually went back to find my post to refer you to.

OMG. Haaaaaaaa!

Now, on to more important, weighty matters:

A) LOVE the eyelashes. Well, I love them through a thick haze of envy. My oldest has eyelashes like that and he doesn't even appreciate them, the little sh!t.

B) The other products of your labor (i.e., the little green stubby things peeking through the mulch) are glorious in their perfection. Worth the effort? Probably not, but it should be enough for you that I appreciate them :)

Hang in there, girlie!


And just look at those lips....life isn't fair!

bethany actually

I think the price boys pay for those long eyelashes is that they eventually have to spend a portion of every day scraping hairs off their face with a sharp razor. But yes, totally unfair (though adorable).


I'll take the ridiculously long eyelashes. Because, WOW!


I just realized that I spend a fair amount of money trying to look like a toddler. Porcelain skin, luscious lashes, rosebud lips, highlighted and artfully tousled hair -- man, why can't I be two again? I think I need to go ask my son some pointed questions about shampoo.


It's just not fair that little boys have the best eyelashes.

I'm completely jealous that your daffodils are up. Mine came up, then drown in the rain that became a flood, also known as my yard.


Did I miss something? I scrolled through comments so I could be sure to make evil eyes at anyone who got all holier-than-thou and it seemed like the most oft-repeated strong opinion was "Do whatever you want and what works, in fact I wish I could still carry my 19 year old around if he'd let me because squiiish I miss holding him."


It's true, the lashes on little boys should be illegal!
My nephews have the LONGEST ones, it's sickening.
House of Jules


@ Andrea: who knows, but possibly Amalah had to edit/delete the nasty ones.

Personally, I'm in the camp of "do what feels right, pick your battles" soon enough he'll want nothing to do with being carried, and be all OMG WOMAN PUT ME DOWN! so enjoy


I deleted a couple, yes.

But by "strong opinions" I DID NOT mean "asshole opinions," by the way. I agreed with about...89.999% of the comments. There are a couple I have some comments on, is all. Look elsewhere for high drama though, 'cause that ain't what I was talking about.


*sigh* A guy I went to law school with had the very longest eyelashes I ever did see. He always looked so sleepy and sweet. My best friend and I used to swoon over them...

M.A. Smith

I will agree that your son has the most precious hair and eyelashes I've seen in a long time. And the cutest smile. And that nose.

Okay, so I agree that your son is adorable and I adore.



i think long eyelashes on boys are adorably adorable


#4 Surprise of the Century?!!!!!!?!?!?!??!


Heather B.

I look at that photo and I cannot believe that he used to be such a tiny, cuddly baby. He's gorgeous, Amy.


DaisyCake -- I believe that #4 Suprise of the Century was NOT sharing her strong opinions today. And I, for one, am stunned at this turn of events. I needs teh strong opinyuns!


I figured some of those posts were gonna make you nuts - I could only read about 20 of them before I kinda flipped out myself!

Oh, and, I pick the bulbs, because I just can't be mad at Noah and think it's unfair that he looks like an absolute angel with finely spun angel dust making up his gorgeous hair!


Oh a, definitely a.


Maybe it's time for the assvice lecture again?

I'm so hoping my kids get my husbands eyelashes. His are long and curly - mine are short, sparse and blond.

Mrs. Flinger

I have one word for this post:



well i have strong opinions about carrying toiddlers/preschoolers and even 6 year olds but then i had a child with special de velopmental needs, delays and sensory processing issues and i learned to keep my wisdom to myself.
your son's eyes and eyelashes are almost as enchanting and amazing as my boys and i love when you share pics of him. he is gorgeous.
i look forward to your opinions. because you did ask and now it is only fair that it is your turn.
take care.


Were you really getting that bad of comments? Poor girl. Carry your kid till he gets too heavy, then you'll have to make a decision on how to go: leash (I vote this option; used it for my sister's kids and guess what, they came out just fine, no scars), stroller, or letting him scream it out. You're a tiny thing so it doesn't surprise me that Noah's too heavy. In any case, he's adorable. Love the eyelashes and the gorgeous curls!

Ready for the backlash

Ummm, OK. This will probably annoy several people, so sorry in advance. But didn't your last post ASK for peoples opinions? I guess if you ask for advice, you will get it...even if you don't agree with it. Strong opinions and all.
(Now I will go and hide from all of the comments that will slam me)


Long eyelashes are great regardless of gender. You are gonna have to beat the chicks of him with a stick when he gets a bit older.

And daffodils are so cheerful.

I didn't comment in the carry him post, but I think either way is fine. Just do what you want to do.


Totally. My son has the same gorgeous lashes. He's 5, and the other day I complimented his lashes and he told me, "You know, I brush them." LOL!


Lashes like those are truly wasted on little boys but definitely makes them that much more adorable! My 5 year-old actually attempted to cut his with a scissors!



The eyelashes, yes, it isn't fair, boys always have better eyelashes.

The daffodils made me happy. Because they are green, and growing. We're staring down the barrel of another snowstorm here and those little shoots lifted my spirits a bit.


Are we serious? Strong opinions about carrying a toddler? I can understand saying you have strong opinions about spanking or liposuction but not on this.
Our society puts so much freaking pressure on Mom's to always do the right thing. Amalah asked for some advice people, you know that same advice you would give your girlfriend. Come on people be nice.


andrea - I did the same thing - scrolly scrolly looking through the other comments.

amalah - come back soon, cuz i needs me some high drama, and the Giants win and the primaries just ain't doing it for me.


(b) Daffodils are amazingly resilient. do not despair of the sad-looking buds!

(a) Both my boys have thick, curly hair and bee-you-tee-ful long eyelashes. My poor daughter, not so much. So unfreakingfair.


I can't believe the subject re: Carrying your Toddler or Not Carrying you Toddler is even something that is worth discussing. Amy, your kid is TWO. Of course there's nothing wrong with carrying him still. It's not like he is six or seven years old. Just do what you want to do, and parent the way you want to parent. Anytime you specifically ask your readers for advice, of COURSE you are going to get bombarded with replies.


Everyone has their own opinions on what they think is the 'perfect' way to raise their children. Lets face it. We all are learning, and ALL of our children are different. I have a 33 month old that ALSO refuses to walk. At the top of the stairs she screams UPPEY IM SCARED MOMMY UPPEYYYY! What do I do? I pick her up..

Shes MY baby.. so, I give in, over and over again. And ya know what? ITS OK! (I think at least) ;)


I thought that you might find this website interesting since you have mentioned that your own child had struggled with some on the same difficulties.


I've said this before in the comments already but I guess I will repeat it -- I really really didn't mean that "strong opinions" meant "you assholes! how dare you!" opinions. Just that HOLY CRAP, there were close to 300 comments on what I thought was a REALLY BORING TOPIC.

Please stop scrolling through the comments looking for drama, because there were exactly two obvious trolls and I deleted both of them. There are comments I agree with and a couple I don't, and nothing more exciting than that.

(Although, if I may very pettily point out -- I did not actually ask for advice. I asked for people to tell me what THEY did and WHEN, not what they think I need or should do with my own kid. I maintain there's a difference there, yanno?)

Anyway, this is all very silly, especially when I finish typing out today's entry, which is tentatively titled Pride Goeth Before A Fall Down The Sidewalk Steps While Holding Your 28-Pound Monkey.


super surprise, amy! channel yourself a dr phil moment: what were you thinking?

you ask, you receive.

you receive a bunch of judgmental idjuts.

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