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February 2008
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April 2008

My TiVo Suggests Tylenol PM

Whenever a great big natural disaster or big tragedy-laden news story hits a blogger's general area, they inevitably get worried comments and emails from readers -- particularly if they haven't updated in a few days -- emails of the "are you okay? is your house okay? is it on fire? washed away by molten lava? and I saw on the news that someone was shot at a mall that I think is near your house and they didn't give any names and omg, YOU WEREN'T SHOT AT HOT TOPIC, WERE YOU?" variety. So let me just put your minds at ease: Yes, I have stayed at the Mayflower Hotel in the past, but I am in no way connected to the recent bust of the high-class prostitution ring here in DC. Thank you all very much for your concern. MY ALIBI IS STILL PRETTY HEAVY ON THE SHAME, HOWEVER So... Read more →


Metadog

My god, this blog. It is astoundingly boring. So. Very. Very. Boring. It is not updated often enough for my discriminating tastes, either. And this kid is much too old to be very interesting. Not that all this pregnancy puking and hot dog binge talk is all that appetizing. In sum, I am in ur charming family portrait, expressing mah disdain. Pfft. Love, OG Homie aka Ceiba! Read more →


Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner of Champions

So things have taken a turn for the queasy over here. I'm not actually throwing up or anything (stretches a wan, weakened arm across the tiled bathroom floor to knock on the wood floor outside the door), but am instead walking around the house randomly gagging on air and smells and thoughts of smells and air that is full of smells and smelly smell smell smell. The Coke keeps The Headaches at bay (I switched to Coke after discovering that coffee dry heaves taste like pine trees), and I'm about to tuck a sleeve of saltines into my (elastic) waistband and get a big dorky watch that beeps every 20 minutes to remind me to eat one. This was advice I got last time: keeping something in your stomach will actually keep you from puking. I tried this last time. And the weirdest thing happened. I THREW UP. Food in,... Read more →