The Toddlerese Phrasebook
March 24, 2008
"Mama in der? Mmma an na na a CHOUND? In der? IN DER?"
(Mama, do you hear the sound that is coming from that general direction over there?)
"A cow! Jump cow oh uh na amoon!"
(The cow jumped over the moon.)
"A TRAIN! A TRAIN! CHOO CHOO!"
(A TRAIN! A TRAIN! OMFG!)
"Aw, a boo hurt! Na ma a ban aid? Boots?"
(I have injured myself and require a licensed-character Band-Aid.)
"RAWR! RAWR! Onster anna book anna yoo turn da page! Oh no!
(There's a monster at the end of this book and you turned the page! Oh no!)
"No poop."
(I don't care what you smell, woman.)
"Oh no! A messth! Whew! Dapeart? Okay."
(I would like to reverse my earlier position re: poop.)
"I know. In der. A dridge. Ohhh, down. An tuntel. Up up up an der."
(A complicated description of the engineering of drawbridges. I am told I wouldn't understand.)
"Oh maaaannnnn!"
(Success! Swiper the Fox has been foiled yet again!)
"A nack? Okay nack. Nack oh der."
(May I have a snack? Actually, I'm just going to go ahead and answer in the affirmative that yes, I may have a snack. And I'm going to go eat my snack over there. Smell ya later.)
"A chide an mah polpet! A polpet, Mama! Choon an polpet!"
(Uh.)
"DADA! DADA! WHEAH ARRRRRE YOOOO?"
(Dada, Mama is currently denying me the object of my heart's desire, please come home from work to rectify the situation.)
This is genius.
LMAO!
Mama in der! IN DER?
Hah...I miss those days...the days when I had to translate EVERYTHING my daughter said to other people.
Then again, I had a girl, which means that this phase was approximately one week, after which she started uttering full-blown theses (thesises?) on everything. Especially Barney, who was the be all at the time. (She's 14 now. And quieter, because she texts now. OMG! TISNF!)
omg is swiper still popular?? i remember my kids and the ohhh man!!!
bless you A.
And here I thought that only my son talked exactly like this. "How dat?" What's that? "Mommy si heeeeerrreeeee" Sit down in this location, not that one. "No pants!" Mother, I shall not be wearing clothes today. "Thank you muh" Thank you very much. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" A regular no is not nearly enough to register precisely how I feel right now, but this very loud one should do it.
Okay, I missed the comments about finding out the sex, but I say, find out! We have 4 kids, and didn't find out with our first one, and this is totally selfish, but my husband was the one who saw it FIRST and yelled it out, so he was the one who basically got to tell everyone. What can I say - I like to be the one with the news! And of course, the planning and buying clothes, etc. but it really boils down to my selfishness.
This was the first time in a loooong time that I've cracked up while reading something. Truly hilarious. Also, I want him. Or at least one just like him.
That is so unbelievably CUTE!!! Plus he's such an adorable little boy -- thinking of him saying those things just warms the cockles of my heart. It's a miracle you haven't hugged him, and loved him, and squished him to death when he does such cute stuff!!!!!
Love it! I love hearing my 2 1/2 year old talk too. Right now she is in this "bad man in my room, under my bed" phase. So every night we have to spray special "bad man be-gone" spray under her bed.
I thought maybe the "Mamma in der?" was said when you managed to get the bathroom door closed before he or the dog could get in. But, I forgot he's only 2. Somehow, that's jut not possible until they're about 5.
I normally lurk b/c a) it's 99.99% funny; b) I have nothing to say re: child-bearing/rearing being that I have done neither, but OMG. This is too funny. I'm sitting here, nearly midnight, laughing so hard my neighbor (the crazy one who screams at her cat) is going to start pounding on the wall...
Toddlerese is my favorite second language (9 nieces & nephews). When my oldest nephew was learning to talk I was the only one who figured out that "Bacca" was, of course, Water, "Waspter" was Lobster (he had just seen Little Mermaid) and my favorite: MICMISH!!! (Licorice)!!!
obviously you were watching jesus camp and he was trying to tell you that there was a child in the pulpit. he would prefer you in the pulpit.
get it.
That last one, he is obviously telling you there is a child in your pocket, a CHILD MAMA and apparently it is coming in June.
I like it, it's cute.
Also, as a comment to 0-40 from last week, my mom (a fitness instructor) gained over 60 lbs in both of her pregancies, mostly water weight. My mother-in-law gained half that with twins. I hope these things aren't genetic, so if you could make up an answer about that, it would be great, because I'd believe you. Also, if it could be "no."
Why der no picshurs of da Noah wid dis posty?
oh, you're so good!
My youngest would say, "Can I have snack? Say yes, Mama." I always loved the instruction on what my response should be.
Sigh. Now I miss having a toddler. My baby is almost four. :o(
Adorable! My litle brother used to watch these horrid Disney Sing-a-Long, follow the bouncing ball videos and would drive my nuts by screaming for his "mooshkit time." Also, he is expecting a little one of his own very soon, so ha ha.
BREAKING NEWS! Our fabulous babysitter figured out "polpet" last night.
It's "pawprint." He's playing his own goddamn game of Blue's Clues, people. I better get my handy dandy notebook.
I actually choked a little bit when I got to your "Uh" after "a chide an ma polpet" or whatever because I'd mostly sort of understood until the and was like, HUH?!
How adorable is toddler speak?
I watched my granddaughter who's "tuna haff" yesterday. When I told her it was time to change her poopy diaper, she said, "I wookie onnit."
Later, her mom told me that meant she was still working on it, which is her toddlerese for no poop.
That's funny - polpets are pockets in my house. My 2 year old recently discovered them and has been investigating what can (and cannot) fit in them.
When oh when oh when are you going to give us an audio clip. I'll be he sounds as adorable as he looks!
I love toddler speak! My 2 1/2 year old stumps me daily with new words! Yesterday it was "I got dirrrt in polket", which I later found sand in his pocket! Now if we can get him to say his brother's name instead of "meme", that'd be great! Best thing is when he scratches my back and proclaims that he's "ticking mama's back, hehe!" Just frickin' adorable!
A PAWPRINT!! I just spent about 15 solid minutes coming up with different things he could have been saying until I gotdown to you reply in the comments- my 2year old has just figured out "Keeko MAMA!" (thankyou MAMA) and "Ah Bocam!" (you're welcome) :) I love the toddler speak. So, have you discussed the wait Vs. Find out thing with Jason yet?... PLEASETELLMEYOUWONTWAITOKTHXBYE
My three-soon-to-be-four-year-old son cannot pronounce the "TR" sound. Instead, he uses an "F" and you can imagine my delight when he says the word "truck," his favorite toy. Actually, we've worked with him so much that now, to avoid the whole thing, he calls all vehicles "cars." Little stinker.
Gawd, but I love this stuff. I want to videotape my kid every moment of the day saying stuff like this.
My favorite right now is he constantly goes to our front door and points above it and talks about the "allabata". For the life of me I don't know if he is saying "alligator" or "elevator" - he responds "yes" when I ask him if it's either of those - but suffice it to say, we have neither alligator nor elevator above our front door. At least, not at this time. Never say never!
He's a genius! He's speaking German.
Love love LOVE this. Brings back happy memories from when my boys were little. The one that stumped us was "Ass waaaant". We'd be asked "Go ass waaaaant now?" and would reply "maybe!" all cheerful like. Who wants to commit to going ass waaaant??
Finally, one day, I thought to ask him what we do at the ass waaaant and was told "Chick nuggetsandfries".
Ass waaaant = restaurant.
Since we are at a Half Birthday (5.5), I have been back to experiencing some of this myself.
Ok, so I'm a new reader, but I had to comment because this was too cute and funny. It's like a conversation between my own daughter and I.
Love your site and I'll be back to bother you more!
Comments were closed on the last one and just wanted to offer up my experience. I didn't know with the first; knew with the second. With the first, the guessing games were really fun. I thought that not knowing would get me through all the pain and stuff easier because I would be so excited to find out what we were having finally. When I pushed her out and they announced "it's a girl" I was like "Oh, yeah, I get to find out now." The pain sort of distracted me from caring. I think it was cool both ways though. It was nice knowing the second time around because I felt like I was getting to know my baby better beforehand. Try it without knowing this time or have them put it in a sealed envelope so that you can decide later. So excited for you!
Yes. At my house too. Esp the poop. And swiper.
Also see: dogee sooo cooot.
"I love the dog so I am going to tackle and smother it now."
Hope you're feeling well...
I know you closed the comments on the previous post but well I like to live dangerously!
We did NOT find out with #1 and it was magical. We just found out with #1 and it was magical too. I am glad we did both.
I liked the element of surprise however I wish we had done it the other way around. Found out with #1 and been surprised by #2. The reason I say this has to do with $$$. It is far easier to plan for a baby and when are broke beyond words it would have been great to know the sex in order to determined what you actually need.
I think whatever you decide is great. I think being hard core either way is hard. We reached a middle ground. I wanted to NOT know with the 1st one and my husband wanted to know on the 2nd one and I was like EH either way on the 2nd one.
I also wanted my son to know be a part of the process, to know he is having a baby sister. In his case it was a good thing because he was totally pissed off that it is a girl and insisted we must give him a baby brother. SIGH.
Any who, whatever you two decide will be wonderful and good!
My 3 year old says the same things! I about died laughing at this.