19 Weeks & the Obligatory Halfway Point Meltdown
May 27, 2008
So the pregnancy. It continues.
The baby kicks, mostly at night, when I'm already struggling to find a comfortable position and properly position a pillow between my legs and huffing and puffing like I'm in the third trimester or something. My belly is small and round and (if I must say) rather cute and I like it. It's high and all in front, just like last time, although I still feel curvier everywhere, and hate the way my thighs look in photos. I've only gained a couple pounds, just like last time, and I had to work for them, forcing myself to eat every few hours and not fighting the second serving of strawberry shortcake Jason insisted I eat last night, and oh, but life is SO HARD.
I'm also wracked with the same sort of hand-wringing anxiety as I was last time -- this ever-nagging wait for something to go wrong, for the worst-case scenario to happen. The lack of weight gain, far from being any kind of HA AM AWESOME bragging right, was scaring the crap out of me, and I convinced myself that my belly was far too small for this far along and clearly the baby had some kind of growth problem -- we should have known from those early ultrasounds that consistently measured small! woe! fie! -- until I finally dug up a photo of myself from about the same point last time, and...oh. I look exactly the same. Never mind.
One minute I refuse to let myself assume that we'll actually have a baby at the end of this, and the next minute I freak out because WE NEED TO ASSEMBLE FURNITURE! I HAVE TO ORGANIZE CLOSETS! GO GET THE SWING FROM THE ATTIC RIGHT THIS MINUTE SO I CAN GET THE SERIAL NUMBER AND SEARCH THE PRODUCT RECALL WEBSITES!
So. Yes. Also just like last time. Reruns! How boring!
In between the panic attacks, however, I've managed to spend quite a bit of time overthinking the few pieces of baby gear we need to purchase this time. Namely: slings/carriers and strollers.
EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT ENJOY COMPULSIVELY OFFERING ADVICE RE: BABY GEAR PLEASE FEEL FREE TO WANDER AWAY NOW, BUT I KNOW THIS IS LIKE PORN FOR SOME OF YOU (AND MEEEEEE) SO THAT SORT OF PEOPLE SHOULD STICK AROUND.
Here's my current brilliant plan, and all I ask is that you be KIND when you rush in to point out its many flaws:
I'd like to avoid or, at the very least, put off a new stroller purchase for as long as possible. We made the mistake of buying a stroller while I was pregnant last time, after merrily wheeling it around the store for a few minutes. Not exactly a real-world road-test, when you're trying to drape a heavy diaper bag over the too-wide handles, or navigate over cracked pavement or through tiny city store aisles or fold and lift the damn thing while recovering from a c-section and lugging a 10-pound newborn in a carseat and ARRRGH I hated that stroller so very, very much.
(Peg Perego Aria XT, or something, in case you are curious. Our particular model was discontinued the following year. We picked it because it felt the lightest in the store, only to discover that once you load a baby and a bag onto it the front wheels would lift off the ground and you'd basically be trying to steer while stuck in a permanent wheelie mode. It folded flat but wide and was light but unwieldy and generally just sucked at existence.)
(After that we ordered some rugged European Bugaboo Wannabe called the i'Coo Infinity, sight unseen, because we became convinced that the crappy plastic wheels and lightweight frame on the Peg were the source of all our troubles. The thing weighed 400 fricking million pounds and would only stay folded if you took the time to buckle it shut and everywhere I went I left a path of destruction on either side of me because it was far too big to take anywhere that was not a wide open field, which is all the awesome online demonstration video had shown, ha ha suckers. Try wheeling it through the Gap and suddenly you're dragging three dresses and half the display of fabric belts behind you.)
So now we have a Maclaren umbrella stroller, the love of my life. Sure, it'll tip over if you leave your diaper bag hooked on the handles and remove your child, and the handlebars are starting to wear a bit and I'm not sure the brakes work so well anymore, but it folds up practically pocket-sized and you can sling it over your shoulder and I now every time I see a young, sleep-deprived couple out with a gigantic color-coordinated travel system that outweighs their newborn by a good 30 pounds I shake my head and give them six months before they realize that the crushing, pressing need to downsize totally trumps any prenatal belief that your preshus baybee needs to be surrounded by as much plastic and padding as possible at all times.
So. I plan to strap this next kid onto my body as much as possible for the first year or so. Noah honestly doesn't even ride in a stroller much anymore, and with a late October due date I'm thinking we can probably make it a good six months before the weather warms up enough to really deal with long outdoor two-kid activities that might require the use of a double or tandem stroller.
Thus, mah questions, for the four of you who made it through all that yakkity and are still with us:
1) Recommendations for a good newborn sling or wrap? One that is easy to figure out and would allow me to nurse while the baby is all snuggled in? I've been leaning towards the Moby but am a little concerned about how hot all that fabric might be in the DC humidity and also that I might be kind of too dumb for it, since I've seen mothers at the playgrounds with them and they're practically walking pieces of cotton origami and the kid is still dangling somewhat precariously off their body. Then there's the K'tan and Hotslings and all sorts of gorgeous homemade ones and wheeeeeeee, I'm off to silently rock in a corner now.
2) Recommendations for a six-months-and-up carrier? I know the slings promise to be so ultra-versatile you can carry your kid to college in them, but I still think I'd like a Bjorn or an Ergo for when I don't feel like swaddling up like a mummy. Plus, I know Jason would be more comfortable with something more...uh...buckle-ly and manly. We had a Bjorn last time but not, apparently, the RIGHT Bjorn, the expensive one with the back support, so it killed my back and Noah outgrew it in length awfully quickly. So I'm curious if anyone has used both the Bjorn and the Ergo, and which one you'd recommend.
And while we're at it, we might as well talk strollers too. Side-by-side doubles are just...no, for us, but I have still managed to come up with a frillion different possibilities. A literal frillion! True story!
3) Anyone have the Joovy Caboose? How do you like it out and about in the real world? Is it easy to steer? Noah really dug it at the store but alas, we've learned our lesson that linoleum does not really exist out in nature and the stroller aisles at Babies 'R Us are about four times as wide as a REAL store aisle and they do this on PURPOSE. Because it is all a RACKET and they HATE YOU. Also, is there really any difference between the regular and the lightweight model? Because neither one felt all that lightweight to me, frankly.
4) Jason saw a Phil & Ted's tandem stroller this weekend and fell in love on the spot, but I am loathe to spend that kind of money on YET ANOTHER GODDAMNED STROLLER MAKE IT STOP. Particularly since we just don't use a stroller that much, and I have all these Grand Plans Of Babywearing. But. I could possibly be talked into it, if it's the greatest stroller ever and makes all other strollers look like Hitler. Plus there's a local consignment store that always has the ultra-expensive strollers for sale, so between that and Craigslist I could probably get one used.
5) My OTHER grand idea is to just keep the Maclaren and attach one of those little wheeled platforms onto the back of it. The obvious downside is that Noah couldn't sit down, and I know that once he sees the new baby getting pushed around everywhere he may regress a bit and suddenly WANT to ride in the stroller. Or he might not, or he might constantly try to step off the platform and drive me insane and I'll wonder why I ever passed up the chance to have him buckled in with a 27-point harness or something.
6) Oh. And thoughts on a used Snap-n-Go? For any infant pushing emergencies? This was the one piece of baby gear we DIDN'T get last time and I really regretted it, but I wonder how useful it would be the second time around, since I certainly couldn't use it while out by myself with both kids. UNLESS! The wheeled platform works with it? But by that point maybe I should just get over myself and buy a new damn stroller already?
Okay. I think that's it. I remember that I will need 4,586,029 cloth diapers and about the same number of Soothies nursing gel pads; that there will be very little sleep and that there is nothing wrong with shoving a pacifier in a cryhole if you need to, unless you are okay with a non-hungry-but-screaming newborn using YOU as a pacifier for six hours at a time, and seriously, I let Noah do that to me at the hospital and even became FURIOUS when I found a pacifier in his bassinet after they brought him back from a checkup or something, but then again the hospital lactation consultant came in, took a peek at my bloody butcher's-counter nipples and said yep, everything looks okay here! and then sent me home.
Oh, and the hospital now has a whole new wing with private rooms, so I will not have to deal with someone else's diarrhea and the endless drama that it can cause.
(SHE WOULDN'T FLUSH THE TOILET BECAUSE SHE WANTED THE NURSE TO LOOK AT HER RUNNY POOP FOR SIGNS OF INTERNAL BLEEDING. THE TOILET THAT I HAD TO USE AS WELL.)
Oh God. I kind of repressed that one. Quick, assvice me up, babies. Help me spend my non-existent money before I wonder what exactly I have gotten myself into here.
I have a Joovy. It is AWESOME. Just make sure you order the organizer. I never got around to it and I hate that it doesn't have a cup holder.
Have the Joovy. Love it, but getting ready to ditch it now that the baby is almost outgrowing the bucket. Plus is that it fits long ways in the back of a Subie. Taking the baby carseat bar off can be a bit of a pain, but I would go for that. Easy to steer, but not as good over curbs as a jogger. Downside, the underbasket isn't accessible. There isn't a ton of room to sit when you have the bucket in because the seat needs to recline and it doesn't lay flat enough for a not-sitting baby in front. But you can hang 12 diaper bags off the back and it won't tip. I also use the lever that locks it together to hold plastic shopping bags and have even taken it out w/ only one kid and used the stand part to hold my shite.
My fave newbie sling is a ring sling made with solarveil as it's lightweight and quite stretchy and sunprooof so you don't fry the litle one. Can also go in the pool if you're so inclined! I got mine at kangaroo korner.
I'm debating getting a Beco obi or butterfly for the babe now that he's bigger. I had an ergo, but wasn't wild about the boob squish.
Cheapest, comfiest nursing bra I found? At walmart of all places on one of the ends of the lingerie aisles. Only like $12 or something.
I considered the Phil and Ted's but someone told me the back part is only really good for an older babe...a yearish or so. I've seen smaller in there.
If you have $$ for more than one, I'd get a joovy or similar for stores and a double jogger w/ swivel wheel in front for walks. There are oodles of reviews at joggingstroller.com
/end novel
I'll be watching the comments because I am also curious about the Joovy Caboose. Everyone I've awkwardly asked out in public loves theirs and it seems like a good choice for the two ages of our kids. Also, I LOVE our Ergo. LOVE. Charlie weighs 28 pounds now and it is still very comfortable and not hot. I started out with a Snugli and found it very hot and unwieldy and it didn't last for long on our little linebacker. So yes, Ergo=awesome.
Ok, damn, that was long, but funny. I had a Moby and it worked well for nursing. Had my baby in November and it lasted into May in FLORIDA (worse humidity than DC, but not bragging here..) I used to worry that she would flip right out of it with my efforts, but surprisingly, she stayed put.
As for carriers, we had a Bjorn which worked well, but if you're still nursing, watch out for your boobs! Mine took a beating every time I settled my daughter into it. (Ack, feeling the nostalgic tingles now.)
You are using cloth? That's great!
I use cloth and am the only one I know who does. And I live in a very liberal city. Woo-Wee. I use the Bumkins covers. OK, reading back over that I sound like I'm kissing my own ass but I'm just trying to say way to go really :)
I loved the Snap and Go.
All my neighbors had fancy strollers and they loved and envied my Snap and Go.
Cute baby bump.
ACK! This advice! I needs it! (Will resume stalking the comments now.)
We have the Phil&Ted's for our 3-year-old and 5-month-old. It really IS all it's cracked up to be. It's lighter than our single stroller and much easier to load in our trunk. (It's pricey, but you can sell it later for at least half of what you pay for it.) You might not want to buy a used one, because the 2008 version has a few extra bells and whistles, including a handle that adjusts to different heights.
My sister is VERY pro-sling, however when her baby was actually born in warm weather, the only sling that the baby wouldn't overheat in was a mesh "swim sling" I have no idea what brand.
Then she switched to this adjustable winter sling with changable snaps that's very Macho looking and both she and her boyfriend can use. (Sorry I don't know the brand- it's microfleece)The trick is adjusting the snaps for each parent.
They are both VERY happy with that sling combo. He's a chubby almost 1 year old and they are still using the same 2 slings they bought when he was a wee infant.
I met a lady at the doctor's office the other day who had one of those Phil & Ted's (Excellent Adventure - can't even type that without adding postscript) strollers and she was singing its praises left and right. She had to buy it off of eBay because they weren't available to buy in Canada, but apparently she got a good deal on it. She had the pink one with the camo and her toddler easily climbed in by herself and even helped with the buckles. I was super envious, because all I had back in 1998 when I had a baby and a 21 month old was a side-by-side monstrosity* that had to be stored in an airplane hangar.
(and no cup holder! We mothers were denied our Starbucks while parenting back in those dark, dark days)
We have the Baby Bjorn "Active" (I think that's what it is - it's the expensive one with the fancy back support) and it works really well for us. It still gets a little heavy with 10.5 month old Landon, but my back doesn't hurt so much as my shoulders and entire body start to ache and think that maybe the little guy should just learn to walk.
And, the reason I had to comment, I ADORED our snap-n-go. It's the reason I kept Landon in his infant car seat long after it was really comfortable for him. It was so easy to snap it open (it's really light and folds all the way down) and pop the car seat in there. For quick/short errands that Noah will do on foot that could be a really wonderful thing for you. I really can't tell you how much I missed ours when I realized I now had to get Landon out of his car seat and into a stroller and it would be two whole steps - it was a very sad day. (Not sure if you already have your car seat but we had a Graco seat and stroller frame and that stroller had a huge storage bin, adjustable height handles, and 2 cup holders. It was more tricked out than the big boy umbrella stroller that we use now!)
I love my Moby wrap. I used it for my first daughter through DC humidity and it was fine. (Although seriously, how much time will you be spending outside in the heat?!) You can nurse so easily in it, although it does take a few lessons to use it. I recommend watching a lot of YouTube videos on it or finding someone local to show you how. (I also practiced with my dog before I put my baby in there...)
Now I use my moby wrap for my twins (yes, both at once) and it's wonderful. I will never go back to the strappy clippy ones because this is just so much more comfortable.
As for a stroller, I can't really help you since I just skipped over 2 kids and went right to 3. I will tell you that my 3 year old INSISTS on riding in her stroller now that the babies are in theirs. Not a lot of fun since pushing 3 around is really not an option. Anyway...would have loved a Phil and Teds, got a BOB instead.
And I love the new private wing rooms...so wonderful! (I bet you probably live in my neck of the woods. Not a serial killer...would help you with the moby wrap if you wanted.)
We use a Joovy and it's pretty good. The obvious sacrifices are that it's a bit heavier than a one child stroller and there's less storage.
The missing parent cup holder is annoying.
We generally use the Joovy if we're going to be doing a lot of walking (generally the zoo) and our old Graco for the baby for shorter trips.
Wait, permission to babble about baby-carriers in someone else's comment section? Am I dreaming?
I wrote about some of my slings here: http://sandblower.blogspot.com/2007/04/why-yes-dr-sears-id-love-some-more-of.html
and here:
http://sandblower.blogspot.com/2008/01/wydsilsmotdka-part-ii-baby-carriers-for.html
I would say go for a pouch--you and Jason are both tall and skinny, I think, so you could probably share an adjustable one. Although you might want a prettier one than he's willing to wear--I definitely did, but I was good and only bought one. Around three months you may want to move up to a mei tai or ergo style carrier. One-shoulder carries get hard with big babies, and your first was big like my girl. I really liked the meitai I had, and they are so pretty. There is a lot of messing around with ties, so the clips on the soft structured carrier are nice. I went for the Beco over the Ergo solely because it came in prettier colors.
You may want to consider looking for something made of Solarveil material for summer in DC. It gets sweaty having a baby against you in that weather, and Solarveil is supposed to be lightweight and more comfortable. I never tried it and moved to the bay area instead to escape the heat.
Oh, and the Moby = a lot of fabric. In my experience it's awesomely comfortable (although not in the heat) and gives you a ton of support, but it takes a lot of time to get on, and that might be difficult with a toddler around. But with practice you may be able to get better at tying it than I ever did. I am not good at sewing or fixing hair, and it strikes me as one of those kinds of things, you know? Also it's very stretchy so as the baby gets older and heavier you need to switch to a different kind of wrap.
We had the Graco version of the Snap N Go. We had their carseat and I liked the way it folded better, if I recall correctly. I didn't start using it until the baby was about 3 months and didn't use it a ton, but it did the trick.
Sorry if this is most disorganized comment ever--just trying to get it written while the kiddo is still napping.
A friend of mine did a lot of research on carriers ... and I mean A LOT of research. She recommended the Beco Butterfly. I guess the Bjorn's put undue stress on an infant's spine, and the Beco and Ergo carriers are designed to distribute the baby's weight properly. She liked the Beco over the Ergo because you don't need to use a special insert for a newborn.
For slings, she is using a SlingEZee. She says they were both well worth the money.
Of course, I'm giving all of this to you secondhand, as I have yet to purchase such things for my arrival coming this December. I'll be watching the comments closely, as I too want nothing to do with another huge stroller!
I had the Kolcraft universal car seat carrier - like the Snap & Go. LOVED the thing. Everyone everywhere oohed and ahhed about what a great invention it was when I wheeled my son around. I agreed.
Strollers are like crack, no? When I was pregnant, I'd return quietly from yard sales, placing my latest acquisition in the garage. Cuz every baby needs 5 or 10 strollers...
So, to make you feel better I looked up the Phil and TEds in the UK, they sell for £549....which in $s is $1098!! So buy one and then tell everyone how it was actually HALF PRICE! How cool is that??
http://www.twoleftfeet.co.uk/acatalog/Phil_and_Teds_Sport_Package_3_Red.html
I love my infant carrier Baby Trend Snap and Go - get one. New or used won't matter because it's just a frame (and the new ones are cheap). I hated travel systems from the start - too big and bulky. We opted for the Snap & Go and a McLarent Triumph. Loved both and baby was big enough for the Triumph by 3 months, easy. Our first will be 18 months when baby 2 comes. I'm thinking of the Buggy Board suggestion you made for getting her into daycare with her little baby brother. I don't want a double - but if I get one - I think I want a McLaren double. I think their twinsie version lays back and can be used from birth. Of course, I still won't have an infant carrier other than the snap & go - but that will work for the few monts of early daycare when I bring her in in her carrier.
I didn't do a babysling. Hubby used the vented (sport?) Baby Bjorn and liked it. It never seemed too amazign to me.
Wow. I intended to be a baby-wearer also, but the baby hated to be worn. Shot that one to shit. Wasted money on the sling and the wrap. She does ok in the Bjorn, but I have to say, she spends WAYYY more time in the Snap and Go. You should totally do that. I didn't buy one last time, but we have used the literal crap out of it this time.
For the 6-12 month old:
A Deuter Kangakids backpack. It's a diaperbag/carrier that looks just like a regular backpack when zipped up. Downside? 33lb strap load limit, so it won't last much beyond 12 months.
Or a Kelty 2.5 kidcarrier. Higher strapload limit (44lbs, I think), with a zip-off diaper bag and also a large pocket main compartment for day-pack needs. Downside? Does not stop looking like a child-carrier when the kid is not in it.
Both are manly and buckle-y enough for any husband to fall in deep, hard, studly love with.
First let me say that if you like your Maclaren everything else is going to feel MASSIVE. I have one and love it but it's an uncomfortable ride on pavement/sidewalks. I live in the UK (an expat) and can confidently say that Brit moms take their strollers/pushchairs seriously as they use them out on buses/around town/rain/off-road. I had wanted to buy my stroller in the US because of the exchange rate but found most of them to be very plastic-y.
I also have a Phil and Ted's sport and LOOOOOOVE it. It's comfy. If you buy the double kit it doesn't make it any bigger so you can get around narrow aisles easily. It's heavy- especially if you're used to flinging your Maclaren over your shoulder. It's well built. Still it's the one I would recommend as it's easy to push and easily converts to a single once Noah doesn't need it any more. The three wheel design makes it a dream to push, their's a large basket that hold plenty of crap. If you have a messenger type diaper bag it fits easily over the adjustable handle bars. Anyhoo I could go on and on.
I can't comment on either the stroller (I have the good ol' white-bread Graco "travel system") or the carrier (I have both a Moby and a Peanut Shell, both of which my little peanut has firmly rejected), but I also want to make a cloth dipey reco: Kissaluvs, size 0, with Thirsties covers for the first 2 months or so, and BumGenius! one-size for the remainder. Way more expensive than the prefolds, but they worked best for us. Yay for the cloth diapering!
And I'm off to try one of those carriers, one more time, with my 2 1/2-month-old...
I was a HUGE sling wearer with my first and went overboard trying all the different kinds. I think the best kind for a newborn and for nursing is a ring sling of some kind. I would avoid anything with padding because it just gets in the way and doesn't actually make things more comfortable for baby or mama. Once my DD got good head control, my favorite was a pouch sling (a la Hotsling). A cotton pouch sling doesn't have too much hot fabric to wear and I found it super comfortable, and you can pop the baby in and out so easily. I never could get the hang of nursing in one, though; there wasn't enough maneuvering room. One good thing about pouch and ring slings is that they can be pretty affordable so you could probably afford to have one of each. We also have an Ergo and I highly recommend it, far above the Bjorn. It's not any more expensive than the "good" Bjorn but SO MUCH more comfortable, you can use it on your back, etc. The Ergo has had a really long life for us as well. At 27 months, DD still sometimes will ride in the Ergo if we're out and about somewhere where the stroller is inconvenient.
We were one of those people with a big "travel system" but I very quickly decided that it was not worth it and DD spent very little time in that monstrosity. Slings are the way to go!
Which is the "good" bjorn? Because I fucking hated mine. (city carrier???) And ring slings scare the bejesus out of me. I feel like I'll lean over to pick something up and out rolls my baby.
It would happen to me. I am that clumsy.
I am in the same boat as you. My son is going to be 3 in July and I am having a baby boy in September. I have also decided not to buy a second stroller because my older son can walk. I have a ring sling that is really plain jane and I love it. If I was to upgrade my sling I would look for one with padding because my friends all claimed the padded ones were more comfortable. I don't think brand matters that much - it is just some cloth and some rings if you go for a utility one. The key is learning how to put the baby in. Once you have that figured out, the type of sling doesn't matter.
As an aside, you put the sling over your shoulder and adjust until comfortable. Then you put the baby in by laying them into the fabric perpendicular to your body (the baby should be laying completely on the fabric face to face with you). Then turn the baby's body once in the fabric towards the ringed shoulder. This was the way that worked for me where my son didn't look all scrunched up.
Just to add another thought to your already long post. I graduated my son from a front carrier (sling and snuggly) to a backpack when he got to about 6 months. We very rarely had the stroller out because he fussed less when he was at adult height. It was also awesome for stores and pretty much everywhere else. I have one from Mountain Equipment Co-op that serves me well and my friends also liked the Kelty (sp?) packs.
I love love love the Ergo. My husband thinks any carrier makes him look unmanly but he will use the Ergo. My 8 month old is off the charts at 24 lbs and the Ergo only seems to get more comfortable. Also, it has a totally convenient pocket in the front. Purse and carrier in one!
I also loved the Moby wrap when my son was younger. I used it on walks and around the house - but it was too much for outings. The origami factor was intimidating at first but after a couple goes - it became second nature. I think it was even more comfortable than the Ergo. We also got the fancy bjorn and I hated it. Never used it - it hurt my back. (Can you tell I was a carrier addict?).
Make sure you check a used Snap-n-Go carefully before you buy (duh, but I did not, and lived to regret it). We bought one secondhand and it seemed OK at first, but it ended up being a huge nightmare to steer. I imagine it was worn out, which is why we got it for ten bucks.
We have a Bjorn (just the regular one, not the fancy one) and I wish I had an Ergo. I'd like to keep wearing my son (or at 17 months, maybe he could learn to WALK one of these days?), but he's getting too big and the Ergo has higher weight/height limits.
Live and learn, I suppose. (I do, believe it or not, have a few pieces of baby gear I adore.)
Assvice from a childless reader:
Save your money in an ING (or similar) account until you really need the stroller. What use is it sitting in your basement for the second half of your pregnancy when you could be earning interest, baby!? Plus new models might come out between now and then that are even better.
Here's my opinion on the double stroller situation. We considered those buggy boards, but couldn't figure out how to comfortably walk and push the stroller with a kid right where our feet would be.
We ended up with a Sit N Stand stroller (Graco I think?), which allowed the six month old to sit in front and gave our 3 year old the option of standing and facing forward, or sitting and facing backwards. When she was standing, the baby seat could recline for naps as well.
The handles were long enough so that I wasn't kicking the standing board when I walked and it was pretty maneuverable. The seat slid forward to allow you to store stuff in the basket below. Only downside was no dual sunshade, so the older kid had to bring a hat.
I used a ring sling for a very very long time with my son; actually i sometimes still put him in it and he is a 32 pound 3 year old.
I started out with the NoJo (dr. sears) with all the padding. the padding is very very hot. i am in louisiana and i think we beat d.c. in the heat and humidity department.
i later got a simple one made of some plain cotton cloth that i think i like better because a) cooler and b) i can adjust the tightness of the top and bottom seperately which helps with comfort.
i actually bought some thin gauzy material to eventually be made into a summer sling, but i don't think it will be strong enough for older children.
i tried a baby bjorn a few times and hated it, especially when my son got older and heavier.
I think I finally got my baby gear right for baby #2, and here's what I used:
A Hotsling for probably the first 3-4 months. I really liked this sling. Very simple, comfortable for mom and baby... and no engineering degree required!
After that, I used (and am still using) a Bjorn. Yes, get the expensive kind with the back support. I did not get much use out of it when my toddler was a baby, but this time we use it almost every day. It is a must-have in my book.
I have a Phil & Ted's buggy and it is the love of MY life. Really, it is very comfortable for both toddler and baby, and when the baby is old enough to sit up, he can be put in a sitting position too and will enjoy looking around at the world. I would beware of those stand-up platforms for the toddler to stand on. My two-year-old son didn't care for sitting in a stroller at all when he was the only baby, but now that he has a little brother, he loves sitting in the stroller. Go figure. I guess this probably depends on your kid's personality, though. But yeah, I can't give enough praise for the Phil and Ted's.
Good luck shopping. Your belly is cute!
I think the Phil and Teds obsession is a guy thing - my husband loves ours and other dads will cast envious glances at it when we're in the mall.
It is cool and versatile and skinny and HEAVY AS SHIT.
Verdict: Good dad stroller. We don't have a mom stroller.
I love my Ergo--I keep it in the car for my now-16-month-old son. We used it with the infant insert when he was tiny. I loved that there was no carrier material between me and the baby--it's sort of odd to get used to, since most carriers have more layers. You can nurse in it, too--easier with a little baby. I have a friend who has used it for her smallish 3 year old as well as a newborn, and she and her husband both love it and find it comfortable, even on hikes (they have a frame backpack that is much less pleasant to use). My Ergo goes with us when traveling--I strap the baby into it when we get out of the car, and I can make it all the way to the airline gate without taking him out--it doesn't have any metal, so the TSA Nazis don't have a problem with him staying in it. It can be used on either hip or on your back, which is also nice as the baby gets older and heavier--a 20 pound weight on your chest is no picnic. We were given a Bjorn but I hardly even bothered--it looked tiny and insubstantial and uncomfortable. Plus the Ergo supports the baby's whole body, while the Bjorn kind of lets the kid hang by the crotch.
two words...
Moby Wrap
THE END.
You are asking for advice? From the Innernets? You brave, brave soul.....
If I could do the babywearing all over again, I would purchase an Ergo. In a HEARTBEAT. The Bjorns were really great for when I had one kid, but was more difficult for when I had to carry TWO kids at once. (for example, I carried Arun until he was a year, but could only carry Anjali until she was 6 months) The End.
Strollers? I really, really love my Combi Twin Savvy, but it is a side-by-side. It sounds like a Phil and Ted would be a GREAT option for you, though since you can remove the little back portion when you are done schlepping two kids in it.
I LOVE THIS POST!
okay...
Snap and go -
Love it, SO easy to use. I have a maclaren too and if you love the compact design and portability of the maclaren then you will love the snap and go because it is all that AND you can move the sleeping kid from the car to the stroller with out unbuckling them. Yay! Get one
Baby Bjorn and Ergo - I have both and love both. I got the Bjorn as a shower gift and it was fantastic in the beginning for holding a snuggly newborn while trying to get things done around the house or grocery shopping or what have you. It was easy to manipulate and take on and off. My 9 lb-er fit well in there from week one and slept in there facing inward. Then around 8 months my back and shoulders screamed "Too Heavy!" So I got the Ergo on the recomendation of a friend. It it also great. I can't speak for how useful it would be in the newborn phase, because you need to use some kind of extra newborn insert until the baby reaches a certain weight. BUT it has proved masterful in exactly what it advertises to do, which is ergonomically distribute weight and be super comfortable. Baby can face in OR ride on your back ( or hip but we have rarely used that feature) We actually used it as a back pack just this weekend with our 28 lb stroller- averse 22 month old. She loves Dora so somehow she dosen't mind being in "Daddy's back pack". I think the weight limit is 40lbs.
Great product! Bonus for the Ergo is that with the newborn- insert in theory you can nurse with it, but again I can't speak from experience about that.
Have you seen these adorable slings?
http://www.pippalily.com/
I do not have one nor have I seen one in person but I think they look so cute a stylish in their one-piece design. Wonder if you can nurse in them?
BTW did you know Maclaren Quest and Techno models now come with an adapter bar for your infant carseat. Serious... check it out..
http://www.maclarenbaby.com/us/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=283&Itemid=88889303
Happy Shopping!
I have a son (named Noah, ironically) just a couple of months older than your Noah, and I just had a second son in February, so I agonized over all of the same decisions you mentioned - benefit from my mistakes!
First, the sling. I swore after my first child from seeing all the other mothers effortlessly carrying around perfectly peaceful babies in these cute slings that I would get one for my second child. So, the second I found out I was pregnant, I ordered a maya wrap from slingstation.com and tried to use it pretty much the minute we came home from the hospital. All I have to say is, "What the F?" I can't get it to work right, even after watching the dvd they send and copying their little handout. It always feels like he is going to roll right on out of there, so I'm always clutching him and holding him up from the bottom. Plus, it feels like I have a piano strapped to my back whenever I wear it! I'd say skip the sling and go with one of the carriers.
Speaking of which: I didn't buy this one, but, since I hate the one I have, I've been asking around. At least 5 people recommended the Baby Bjorn Active. The one I saw was light green, and it really looks comfortable for your back.
Strollers: We had a Graco single for our first, and didn't want to pay for a whole new system, so we bought the Graco Duo-Glide. It's very nice, it just weighs 40 pounds and we call it THE BUS. I was commiserating with my friend who just had twins, and she loves the Maclaren, though it's a side by side. She also said she wished she had gotten the Joovy.
If you want to keep your current stroller for the new little one, I've seen in one of those mail order catalogues a step/seat (with buckles!!!) that you can attach to the back of the stroller. Was it One Step Ahead? I'm not sure. Not very helpful, I know, but a quick internet search might point it out for you. The only thing with that, though, is I'm not sure how we as the parents walk behind the stroller. Do we have to walk all weird with our butt sticking out to the back so we don't trample the poor kid sitting on the attachable seat? Not sure.
Hope my rambling helps!
Ohh! I love talking about this stuff!
I have an almost three year old daughter and a four month old son and we have the Joovy Caboose, the regular not the lightweight.
Pros: it really is neat and convenient, my daughter loves the "big girl" platform and is happy to sit in it, too, even buckle up when the front seat is reclined. It's sturdy and the customer service is great (seriously, we broke ours due to utter stupidity and they sent us a new one for free three days later and paid for the return shipping of the broken one.) It's just the best option for when you need to be out with both kids and don't want to be chasing the oldest or carrying the smaller one all the time. I'm personally convinced that women who can walk around with their infants strapped to their bodies all day every day are simply anatomically different from the rest of us who were born with sweat glands. And backs that tire out.
Cons: It's HEAVY. It does not have a one-hand fold, and there is a manual hook you have to latch after you fold it down. Stupid. It's ok on bumps but seriously it is a wimp about curbs. It handles pretty well, but I think I was spoiled by my spin-on-a-dime Maclaren and I get annoyed manuevering it through tight or crowded places.
I have a pretty good sized trunk- station wagon- and I could not get the folded stroller in it with the carseat attachment doohickey on there. Taking that on and off could be a pain. No good place to hang or put a diaper bag, not really a design flaw but a reality when you've got a kid sitting or standing right next to the handle.
Overall rating, B+. It gets a bump up due to the total lack of good alternatives. A friend of mine has and loves the Phil and Ted and it is awesome but not perfect and for a quizillion dollars it should be perfect.
Baby wearing- I am so bad at this. I breastfeed and cloth diaper and make my own freaking baby food and yet cannot get comfortable putting a baby in a sling or front carrier.
The only one i totally love is the Playtex Hip Hammock for older babies. It's only like $30 and they sell them at Target. I also like the frame backpack style- got one on ebay and it was nice for walks.
My kids are 23 months apart (now 15 months and three) and I never got a double stroller. Actually, I was pretty anti-double. Anway. Love the Moby. Love that thing with a passion, and wore it all summer last summer without feeling like it was too hot (though I'm in Oregon, so it probably doesn't get as hot here). I'll never forget the day I called my husband at work and was all "I'm nursing! And cooking! This thing rocks!"
As of about a year old we've moved on to the Ergo, which again...love. It's perfect for six months and up and even has an infant insert for the younger days.
I hear people swear by the Phil and Ted though they look sort of akward to me (and theyr'e supposedly heavy) and I swore if I ever did it again I'd do the snap n' go.
Wrap: Bali Baby Breeze -- it's like the Moby but gauzier weight fabric with just a bit of stretch.
Structured Carrier: We liked our Bjorn Active until about 5 months, but our kid is 99th percentile for height and about 75th for weight. We also have an ergo and it's dandy too.
I actually think you might be happier in the long run with a single carrier that a hybrid. Such as the Calyx: http://mamabydesign.com/shop/
Can be worn on front or back, buckles instead of ties. Can be used with a bitty baby or a big one.
I do not recommend buying 500 different ones because it will curse you and result in your baby being like mine and demanding to face outward, which like 2% of carriers accommodate.
I have no advice on double strollers, except that I've heard the Sit n Stand Deluxe (it's on amazon) is WAY better than the Joovy and is nice and configurable.
I loved our Snap N Go (well the Graco version, whatever it's called Snugrider?).
You WANT me to talk about strollers? Uh, I'm not sure you know what you've asked...
I started w/ baby #1 in Brooklyn, NY. We used a carseat stroller (Kolcraft), but moved into a Maclaren (mid-grade) at about four months. I loved my stroller and laughed heartily at any mom who would attempt to bring her Bugaboo onto the subway (wait, I don't think those women took the subway). Anyway...
For #2 (born when #1 was just 3 and we had moved out of the city), I initially purchased the Maclaren side-by-side thinking it would be easier for travel. Which it was. But it wasn't any lighter than the Phil & Ted's and it just barely squeaked through store doors.
I sold that after a hellish three-week visit to NYC and ran to my local baby boutique for the Phil & Ted's.
I wish I'd had this from the beginning because it has a handy infant bassinet feature (#1 sits atop in the add-on seat. Hard to explain, but very cool.)
Of course it's way heavier than your Volo, but what isn't? If I had it to do over again, I'd spring for the Phil & Ted's right away (it also holds a car seat).
(Sidenote: I also gave the Joovy the once over, but P&T blew it out of the water.)
Long time lurker . . . love your writing!
The Rockin Baby Pouch, as recommended to me by Kristen of Motherhood Uncensored. There's no little ring adjustment, so I'm less likely to spill the baby on the floor while I'm getting him settled.
Remember to let us know when your segment on the Bobby Flay throwdown gets televised!
love love love the baby ktan carrier. tried 4 others. used to use moby all the time, so replaced it with the ktan.
i am a sling addict. but i do still love my snap n go from the early days as well.
I may not be a good source of information, but I'll give it a go. ;)
We had a Graco SnugRider (the Graco version of a Snap n Go) and I LOVED it. It was lightweight, folded down small and had awesome storage, cupholders and adjustable handlebars.
I've seen a lot of people with the Joovy and it looks great. If our toddler had been a bit older, we would have gotten one before our newest baby was born. Sadly, we needed a stroller with a good seat. And I've heard WONDERFUL things about the Phil and Teds. We would have gotten that if we could afford it! It's supposed to be an awesome stroller.
As for baby wearing, I'm currently using an Infantino SlingRider for my 2 month old. It's inexpensive and my baby loves it. However, it is a lot of fabric and has potential to be hot in the summer months . Also, I'm not sure how good it is for nursing, as I haven't tried that yet.
Good luck making your picks!
Hi. I'm 22 weeks with my first and was really freaking out about the idea of a bulky stroller, so thanks for the tips! We have tiny 1930s house with tiny driveway and tiny entrances, so I'm hoping to minimize the amount of enormous crap I'll be lugging in and out of the car.
Let's see. How far apart are your two going to be? Ours are 2.6666666 (yes, fractions are important!) years, and we've done just peachy with just our single (yes, LOVELY and lightweight Maclaren). The boy (older) had pretty much outgrown the stroller by the time the girl (younger) was old enough to need a proper one. We used a snap-and-go type thing in the interim. You can buy them used anywhere and it doesn't really matter if they're a little beat up because you don't use 'em long anyway.
Also, ERGO. We made the mistake of waiting until she was 10 months old to buy one. It changed my life. I love it. LOVE it. And cry ever day now that she's too big for it.
And now that they're 5 and 2, we use our Radio Flyer wagon for most long walks to the park/farmers markets. Oh, and Dad's shoulders for when the older one gets pooped.
I never did find a great baby sling/carrier thing. But my friend who has twin baby girls (yeah we are all j'ellus) swears by the beco butterfly carrier. Plus? totally cute designs. Jason might be a little hesitant to wear something that could be super girly, but too bad.
I have a combi stroller. I sometimes like it -because it is pretty easy to fold up. (but not if you are by yourself at a bus stop with a one month old who can't hold his head up yet. That sucks) But the basket beneath is kind of worthless when it comes to carrying all the crap you end up with. So you end up carrying all your stuff in your stupid diaper bag and your shoulders hurt and you hate everyone and the stroller which can go and die in a fire. But I only feel that way after dragging the stroller around all day. So I can't suggest anything great in the stroller department.
Knickernappies for cloth? Those are great. Adjustable sizes, super colors and they can absorb the Pacific ocean in a pinch.
I have the Phil & Ted's Sport and I lovelovelovelove that stroller. Plus, you can detach the second seat and use it as a single stroller again which is how I totally justified the cost.
I also have both the Bjorn and the Ergo. I used a ring sling in the very early days, then switched to the Bjorn when the baby was still facing me. Now that she's a bit older, I like the Ergo in the hip carry. So comfy, and she can see without being completely in my way.
Pacifier for the second will be your best friend. Don't fight it.
You're one of those cute pregnant people. I must hate you now.
Had (have) both the ergo and the bjorn, and the bjorn killed my back right away. the ergo has a nice padded "infant insert" that is basically a thick cloth burrito you tuck the little one into, and then place said burrito into the sling. worked like a charm, esp. if the wee one was already swaddled. kind of like those nice stacking cup toys. no seriously!
bought and love the bugaboo, but also spend 1.5 hours a day walking in NYC (bringing said babe to and from montessori daycare) but it is a wide, heavy beast. not meant for anything other than flat sidewalks or park pathways.
I see tons of kids on the bugaboo board, also the same board thingy behind the maclaren. I say bring the sling and when Noah regresses and wants to ride, the (new) kid goes in the sling.
oh, and my babe is 21 months and I still like the ergo.
No suggestions since I don't know what I used with mine. However, I have the perfect recipe to help with weight gain. Your doctor will hate me, but you will love me. Would you like it?
I could not for the life of me figure out the Moby. Plus, it can get hot. I would say, get a sling or a pouch. Have you been on The Babywearer yet? It's a bit overwhelming, but great for reviews on slings and other carriers.
We used a Babyhawk, which is a mei-tai from about 6 weeks on (still use it now). Just recently I bought a Calyx, which one of the commenters upthread mentioned. My kid is getting to heavy to carry in front, so I wanted to get a back carrier that was buckle-y and easy.