And His Favorite Thing in the World is a Treble Clef I Made Him Out of a Twist Tie
May 06, 2008
The other night we had the TV on and a promo spot for Law & Order: SVU came on -- the one with Robin Williams playing some sort of unhinged psycho,which is only vaguely more terrifying to me than Patch Adams -- and at one point he bellows, "You don't know what I've suffered!"
Noah rounded the corner at this precise moment, and without missing a beat, pointed a chubby finger at us and shouted, "YOU DON KNOW WHA I SUFFER!"
Needless to say, we aren't really dealing with much of a "speech delay" anymore.
He still goes to his little mock special-ed preschool class, and he gets speech therapy twice a month at home, but next month those services will drop back even further when he starts a very mainstream summer camp program at the very mainstream preschool he will be attending in the fall. I've been told that all county-run preschool programs are off the table for him at this point, and while they will test to see if he'll qualify for itinerant speech therapy, it's been strongly hinted to me that I shouldn't hold my breath on that one either.
The only "concern" at this point is his articulation, which (as you heard on the video yesterday) gets pretty unintelligible whenever he's excited or stringing more than two or three words together. Still, however, this falls solidly into the realm of "normal" speech, especially for a child who just started using two-word phrases for the first time a couple months ago. His brain is moving faster than his mouth, which has always been the problem. The difference is that he no longer lets that stop him from TRYING to get his thoughts out, whereas before he seemed to clam up mostly out of frustration that we couldn't understand him, or that the list of sounds he couldn't reproduce was so long and daunting so you know what? Let's just talk more about aballs today.
He's even figured out how to use our non-stop translating against us -- we pretty much run on auto-pilot now when it comes to repeating the stuff he says, you know, to demonstrate the proper pronunciation or to give him two words when he supplies one -- so we have a LOT of conversations that go something like this:
NOAH: (very quietly) eye keem cone?
MAMA: Uh...ice cream cone?
NOAH: OKAY! GOOD IDEA, MAMA! ICE CREAM CONE! YAY!
He outsmarts me with this same trick at least 14 times a day, people.
Early Intervention has also completely dropped the SPD diagnosis -- there's no doubt he HAD some rather profound difficulties, but as his speech improves and we doggedly continue giving him repeated (yet low-pressure) exposure to the wig-out triggers, it's all become much less of a "problem" and more of a "quirk."
That's pretty much how all his therapists and teachers refer to him now.
"He's quirky."
"He marches to his own drummer."
Independent, but not overly willful. Spirited, but unbelievably sensitive and gentle and kind. Shares well. Extremely aware of other's moods and feelings. Dislikes fingerpaints and transitions, but is the only kid in his class who will eat oatmeal with gusto.
"He's a special one, that's for sure." his teacher says, laughingly shaking her head after class.
He still uses sign language, along with the words, although sometimes he will revert to signs-only when he's shy or scared. He remembers every single one he ever learned, sometimes sending me back to the DVDs for a refresher course.
He can sing all the words to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Old MacDonald. He will tell you that "you can do anything that you want to do" and then tell you what Blue's dream was about ("A leotard dream! Blue rolllled!"). He will not say his name, preferring to call himself Baby. We've talked about the baby in Mama's belly a couple times but it's not really making much sense, although one time he did lift up my shirt and shouted "ALLLLO BABY! WHA YOU DOIN IN DER? DON WORRY, BABY! I COMING!"
It's funny. When we first started using Early Intervention and speech therapy and sign language, a few people did not hide their opinion that we were overreacting. He was too young, he was just a late talker, God, what is WITH parents and doctors today with their "labels" and their "therapy" and in our day kids didn't talk until the second grade because they were too busy shoveling all the snow off that hill. Okay, maybe that isn't very funny.
First, the sign language flipped a switch for Noah -- the first of many. He understood WHY communication was good. Expressing your needs! Getting those needs met! You could almost see the exact moment the light bulb went on and the signs poured out.
Then came the speech therapy -- which was as much for me as it was for Noah. It was humbling, honestly, to have someone come to your house and tell you how to talk your kid. I've met parents who resist it, for whatever reasons -- they smile and nod during our Hanen sessions and then roll their eyes afterwards and admit that no, they don't really go for a lot of "that stuff" at home. But we did. We slowed down, we made stupid noises and faces and gestures out in public, we signed and talked and listened and pauuuuuused and repeated and then we did it all over again. And it worked. It just worked.
Then came the social therapy -- the tears at Lunch Bunch from us both, picking up the red-faced tear-stained toddler after Kids at Play, feeling like my heart was going to break because THIS was too much, too hard. And now I get glowing reports every week. He stays in the class because they like a few well-behaved "example" kids to help the newer additions...and because he just loves it so much that I asked his service coordinator that as long as we aren't taking a spot away from a kid who really needs it, could he please just keep going until summer camp starts?
Now when I tick down this list of victories for some people -- victories that came much sooner than we expected, but were hard-fought all the same -- I still sometimes get that dismissive wave of a hand. "And you were sooooo worried," they say with a bemused smile. Silly neurotic first-time mother.
Yeah. You know what? I was worried. And so I did something about it. And I would do it all again.



Woot! Congrats.
You did the right thing. You are a good mom and both of your babies are lucky to have you.
You're awesome and the post was awesome. I'd like to think that I'd have been as awesome as you if I had to be. All the effort you and Jason put in to this is amazing. As parents we do what we need to in order to get it done and there is nothing more worthwhile than investing in our kids. Noah seems like a great, well-adjusted little boy with some of the best parents God ever passed out.
Good for you! I think you are a great mama and I hope to one day (to my tiny 1-milimeter baby-to-be)be as caring and tuned-in as you are.
PS-I love reading Zero to Forty, and though I am a few weeks behind,I look forward to your weekly updates.
And you allowed me to not feel bad about taking a nap every day this week (gestating is hard work!)
Good for you! A lot of parenting involves amnesia (When did MY middle child learn to talk? No idea.... But, he did!) and it's good to document things and remember that you cared enough to make that difference in your child's life. Yay for you! Hope you're feeling good!
You are an absolutely amazing mother, (and father, Jason). We adopted two delayed young ones even after our first born refused to talk and I know SOME OF the pain and effort you've gone through. I know I just typed all caps but there's no way I can know exactly what you guys have felt, experienced and worked through on behalf of that gorgeous, obviously well-loved child. Please ignore the goobers who haven't a clue and hug yourselves and each other for being astounding parents.
Boo to all the naysayers, and yaeahhh for you and Noah. You inspired me to get help for my son who is much yougner. I had him evaluated by EI here in No.VA for his physical milestones which were pretty delayed. Anyway, he's walking and squating and doing all sorts of things now that I thought I wouldn't see until much later. Who knows, maybe I overreacted, but I don't think so. You did the right thing, at the right time for all the right reasons. He's gorgeous and you are the best mom! The perfect mom for Noah!
It's all your OVERREACTING that brought Noah to where he is today. Bravo!
Hearing a small child say, "You don't know what I've suffered" would TOTALLY make me laugh for days. Love it.
Jules
House of Jules
Without being stalk-y, Amalah, I love you and your brilliant Noah, too.
Y'all just rock.
Good on you all! Noah is doing so well, and how proud you must be - not that you weren't always proud!
Isn't he just the most gorgeous thang?? SO glad it's all paying off for you.
You go girl!
Ugh. That SO BUGS ME. The whole, "but he's fiiiiine." Of course he's fine. We worked our butts off for the last 3 years! Sigh. For us (it's different issues) it's an ongoing battle, but I suppose the fact that people think he's "neurotypical" means that we're doing our job. But I really don't like the pats on the head. It's not fair to us or to him for the work he's done. /rant.
That's because you are the Mommy and the Mommy ALWAYS knows best. Even when no one agrees with her! Congratulations!
Dude, you did the right thing. And try to remember that those naysayers probably are the same people who would've called you out for not addressing the issues earlier if you had let it slide. You just can't please some people, so why try?
I love you for being able to laugh at yourself all the time but also knowing when it's time to just do what you need to do and ignoring the people who want to make you feel like a fool. Noah is lucky to have you.
I'm utterly convinced that my daughter's even temperment and enthusiasm about the world is a result of my teaching her signs in addition to spoken words. It's permitted her to realize that she can control the world to some extent. And I think if she didn't think she could exert that control in some situations she would just get frustrated.
Good for you and good for Noah! Yay.
Great post. Good for you for responding to Noah's needs in a way that worked for YOUR family! Very admirable.
("eye keem cone" is the cutest thing I've ever heard, by the way.)
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! I knew he could do it.
Don't ever doubt what you did. You did the right thing by getting help. You would not be where you are today w/out it.
YEAH NOAH!!!YEAH AMY!!! he and Michael are going to have full on conversations.
I've been in reading you for awhile Amalah but have rarely commented. As a speech pathology grad student, I am so happy to hear that you used the techniques the therapist suggested. But mostly I am just happy to hear that they WORKED! Yay for you and your sweet boy!
Our son started with our version of early intervention a couple of mos ago and I absolutely think you did the right thing. Even if it had turned out to be nothing, at least you would have done all you could.
At 15 mos, Evan still hadn't really said his, so I called for an assessment. He qualified for ST and he's already up to 15 words, plus several signs. He doesn't use them as often as he should, but we're getting there.
Honestly, as a mom why wouldn't you want to access every possible resource to assist your child?! Those people don't know what they're talking about!!
Congrats!
And I have to say, "ALLLLO BABY! WHA YOU DOIN IN DER? DON WORRY, BABY! I COMING!" had me laughing so hard!
"(very quietly) eye keem cone?"
You guys melt my heart...
Yeah for Noah, and you! Forget all the negative people. They all suck. Listen to me. I rock. And you do, too.
You give me hope. My son is two, speech delay and SPD-sensory seeker. We had the same thing happen with the signs. The lightbulb came on and suddenly he saw the need to communicate. He now says and uses 4 words correctly. It's a start.
Way to go Noah!
So proud of Noah. And you.
Yay for Noah!!!!
Exactly.
So very well said. The thing about being a Mama is being in your kid's corner, in every way that you need to be and following your instinct. Good for Noah and good for you!
Bravo. Early Intervention ain't for sissy, but it makes all the difference in the world. Go Noah!
All those pooh-poohers, did they ever stop to think that the reason Noah is doing so well now is because you are an awesome Mom who got him the help he needed? If you had listened to them, he might still be having problems. You did everything right. Don't let the negative know-it-alls get you down.
I am so happy for Noah! You guys worked really hard and I'm so glad he's come around to being able to communicate more. He seems so happy.
Give yourself a great big hug and pat on the back. As someone who currently makes a living in speech/special ed and has several years behind her of working with the birth to three population, I can honestly say that it is the parents that make it happen for their kids, not the therapists. We simply are the facilitators, teaching tools for families to use. It is up to the families to put those tools to use. Those who do make the progress (granted not without great frustration & many plateaus) and those who don't blame the therapists for the lack of progress. Kudos to you for being one of those families who do.
That kid is something else. :) He's freaking awesome!
It's really great to hear how things have worked out. I can relate to every word of this, from the SPD to the social therapy... "quirky" and "marches to his own drummer" are, word for word, phrases used to describe Riley often.
Thanks for sharing all of this - it always helps to know someone else is going through it too. And it's so fun to read about all of the things that Noah is coming up with now!
"ALLLLO BABY! WHA YOU DOIN IN DER? DON WORRY, BABY! I COMING!"
I've heard that men spend their entire lives trying to get BACK into the womb. Looks like Noah is getting an early start ;-)
I have been there, too, and it is amazing to actually see your child progress so quickly after you've been worried and stressed. And I'm totally going, "Yay! Noah & Amy & Jason!" too, and I really can't figure out how to say what I want to say without sounding like Debbie Downer, but what I want to say is this:
In the next few years, you may find yourself feeling that "2 steps forward, 1 step backward" feeling. He may lag or he may excel, but if you ever find yourself presented with yet another period of developmental delay? Just remember - you are not back at square one. IF it happens, you may feel like I did, which is filled with despair. But don't feel that way! (Or do, because I'm not a trained therapist, so what the heck are you listening to me for?)
But try to remember that you've already learned how to deal with it - follow the advice and therapies, follow your instincts, and he'll be fine. The three of you have done good, really. Baby X is gonna be a lucky kid.
I'm glad he is doing so well. And OF COURSE you were worried. And those people waving their hands at you & bemusedly smiling? What if you hadn't been worried? And what if you hadn't done something and sweet Noah remained all locked up inside? You're not neurotic. You're mom. And you appear to be a damn good one at that.
I want to stand up and applaud you right now. As you know, my oldest got the same diagnosis right around the same time as Noah and things have just started clicking for him too. I am so sick of the "told you so" comments I get for being neurotic, but you hit it on the head. There was a problem and we worked with the experts for a SOLUTION -- didn't just sit back. Now my baby is 14 months old and lo and behold -- no words yet. Luckily, early intervention isn't so scary anymore.
Thanks again for being a touch plate for others who were going through this too.
I can't tell you enough how much this spoke to me. My son is about 2 months older than Noah and it was because of your blog that I had the courage to ask about his speech delay at his 2 year appointment. My mom friends kept talling me not to worry, it was normal, etc. But when you started writing about Noah I saw my that boy was doing a lot of the same things and I knew I had to do something about it. He's had speech therapy in home for about 9 months now and he's addicted to Signing Time to a scary degree. Now he never stops talking and usually also signs along what he says. Which now makes people think he's like a genius. We call him the narrator because he talks so much. He has similar issues with pronounciation and he totally says "Iceceamcone?" as all one word and I fall for it as well. I just wanted to thank you for talking about this and sharing your experience. I know it's helped me and I'm sure many others. I have a one year old baby girl as well and I know I won't hesitate in the future because I know that my mom's instinct is usally always right. Sorry this was so long, I would have emailed but I didn't see it on here. Congrats on the pregnancy and everything you've accomplished with Noah.
Ooooh, bingo on that last thought.
You and Jason are great parents, and Noah is an awesome kid!
i LOVE the flip flops. i may have to try them on my boys (my adam is one month younger than noah). no more crocs?!?!
we had a similar scenario with my older son when he was 18 months, though it was 'just' speech. he was kicked out of EI in home speech therapy after just six months-our therapist's shortest time with a child. was it the therapy? a good six month developmental spurt? who knows, but ive never regretted asking my ped for the EI number even though she said she wasnt worried. rock on to you and noah!
The best advice I could give young parents is to trust their intuition. You did the right thing.
As another speech path grad student, this post makes my heart SING! You did an amazing thing by recognizing this early, trusting your gut, and working your rear off. YOU made this happen, and now look at Noah! I've been considering going into Early Intervention and this post so clearly articulates why! Thank you for sharing your story with so many people and showing what success early intervention can bring about. (And I burst out laughing a the ice cream cone story too! I've repeated many a phrase in my toddler group, but haven't had them use it against me... yet!)
As a mom of a 3 year old with SPD and a speech delay, it did my heart good to read that your son has made such great progress, and all thanks to a mom who listened to HER inner mommy instinct.
The end of your post is just perfect...good for you for following your instincts.
Way to go for following your instincts and doing what you thought was best for your kid no matter what people said. It obviously made a difference, and now we get to hear about all of the awesomely cute things he says!
I am so happy you are able to write about this day! Good for you and Noah!
Sheesh, it's not like Early Intervention ever HURT anybody, for Pete's sake. What's wrong with people?! I'm glad you did what you felt was right for both of you.
The descriptions you give remind me of a little boy I nannied for, for 6 years (i.e. "my baby"). He was always a little different, quirky, marched to the beat of his own drummer. Now he's 11, taller than me (sheesh!) and this quirky, brilliant and interesting kid who I'm sure is going to invent something amazing or discover the cure for cancer. BTW, I'm not biased at all!
Good for you, Amy, parents always seem to know, deep down, what's best for their own kids!