Neverending High Drama & Nonstop Blog Excitement
May 01, 2008
Dear Ceiba,
STOP EATING CHOCOLATE THINGS YOU FIND IN THE GARBAGE.
Love,
Amy
***
Dear Self,
STOP THROWING PERFECTLY GOOD CHOCOLATE THINGS IN THE GARBAGE.
Love,
Amy
***
Dear Amy,
DON'T YOU TRY TO BLAME THIS ON ME, THAT WAS NOAH'S CHOCOLATE BUNNY AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE HIM ONE BITE.
Love,
Self
***
Dear Self,
I HOPE THE DOG IS SITTING ON YOUR LAP WHEN THE DIARRHEA HITS.
Love,
Amy
***
Dear Jason,
STOP LEAVING BAGS OF GARBAGE BY THE BACK DOOR. WHAT, YOU THOUGHT I WOULD TAKE IT OUTSIDE? DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT IT IS VERY FAR ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE LAWN AND THE GRASS IS ALL WET AND I CAN'T FIND MY SHOES AND I THINK YOU SCOOPED SOME CAT POOP IN THERE WHICH MEANS IF I TOUCH THAT BAG THE BABY WILL DIE SO THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T TAKE THE GARBAGE OUT BEFORE THE DOG RIPPED THE BAG OPEN AND ATE THE LAST REMAINING BITES OF CHOCOLATE EASTER BUNNY THAT I THREW OUT THE OTHER NIGHT, BECAUSE I JUST LOVE OUR CHILDREN TOO MUCH.
Love,
Amy
PS I THREW OUT THE LAST REMAINING BITES OF CHOCOLATE EASTER BUNNY BECAUSE I WANT TO LOOK PRETTY FOR YOU. *SNIFF!*
***
Dear Everybody,
I ARE FINE. EAT CHOCKOLATE ALL THE TIME. MAKES EARS GO A LITTLE HUMMINGBIRDIE BUT THATS IT. I HATE THAT DIET DOG FOOD, ARE COMFORTABLE WITH BODY IMAGE, THINK U CAN ALL BITE ME, BYE.
Love,
Ceiba!
PS ALSO ATE SEVERAL WRAPPERS FROM STICKS OF BUTTER.
Yay! First comment of day!
You make me LAUGH, woman!
I heart you (in that non-scary way)!!
Hi Amalah - regarding the Blue's Clues clef: There's a site I've used several times for my nephews. Alas, no clef - but some fun stuff for kids. http://www.webundies.com/blues_clues_kids.htm
*snorfl* Hummingbird dog ears.
That soda almost almost got spewed all over my keyboard when I read the word "HUMMINGBIRDIE". Ha!
I feel you, Ceiba, chocolate makes my ears all hummingbirdy as well. I get some funny looks for it. ;)
Dear Ceiba,
I love when you blog, I think the pudge is cute. That's all.
((((laughing my *ss off))))
Kim
All hail Lard Ass dog!
Ceiba, you are beautfiul just the way you are.
Dear Ceiba,
I am a French cat who sinks you are ze most beeyootifool dog in ze world. I also like to eat much, much things, but not chocolate, I am preferring ze tuna fish and whipped cream. But ze silly 'umans in zis house don't want to understand. Zey just give me ze crunchy, boring, boring cat food. As if anyone would want to eat that.
Eat ze chocolate if you likes it! I am with you all ze way on zis one!
Canine and Feline International Food-Lovers Unite (CAFIFLU)
Haaaaa! That picture of Ceiba and her hummingbird ears is KILLING ME.
"makes ears go a little hummingbirdie" is the only thing that's made me laugh all day!
seriously, throwing out a perfectly good chocolate bunny? that takes some willpower woman.
Did you know that if your dog eats something that will make it sick, you can make it throw up by making it swallow hydrogen peroxide? And then you make the dog run around to shake up its stomach, so the hydrogen peroxide gets all foamy, and then it will puke. Yes. Having a vet for a sister sometimes results in very fun information. I have not yet had to do this, though the concept is pretty cool.
I'm jealous because Kristin took my hydrogen peroxide bit of usefull information but still I can top that because I know about hydrogen peroxide from the dog eating chocolate covered blueberries where the chocolate was also died blue which made the hydrogen peroxide bubble barf blue as well.
Oh wait ... I hope your stomach is feeling better these days or you may hate me forever. IZ SORY
milk chocolate is so non-chocolatey that your dog would have to eat an assload of it before getting really ill
dark chocolate and cocoa, however, are baaaad for pups
Ceiba's hummingbirdie ears made my day
Dear Ceiba,
Good for you. Everyone knows all the vitamins are in the wrappers.
Hee hee...just the cutest little dog thing ever! The hummingbirdie ears just pushed her to the top of the list! :)
Ceiba, my dog Jack once ate a bag of M&Ms, but he barfed it all up on the way to the vet. It was very colorful.
Amy, I just found you thanks to the groovy new Amazon Kindle--so glad I did! I love your work, please keep it up--we all need at least one good laugh a day. It's a rule.
~~~Cyn
Nothing to comment except I love it!
i love ceiba stories. i can haz more ceiba stories?
why oh why must you be so damn funny?
I love writing letters to self and everyone else. Great for venting. Or for giving the internet a window into your insanity. (For me, it's definitely the latter.)
I love writing letters to self and everyone else. Great for venting. Or for giving the internet a window into your insanity. (For me, it's definitely the latter.)
Ceiba---is butter paper as good as cheese paper?
Ceiba, haz u lost weight?
...maybe the hummingbirdie ears are burning off calories.
Or something.
Wonder if I can get my cat to do that...
Oh my gawd, this made me laugh until I almost peed my pregnant self (okay that may not be very hard when I think about it but whatever...) Ah thanks for the entertainment. That dog should have his own blog ;)
OMG those ears are hilarious!
and the real question is who at the sticks of butter?
The ears!
omg the hummingbirdie ears *snork*
bwhahahahaah! crack me up!
You make me laugh like no one else on the internet can. And when Ceiba speaks, nothing but magic comes out.
Ha! Glad she tolerates it so well. The last time my wee dog ate a box o chocolates, she puked 17 times all over the house and then spent a week at the vet's. Does something funky to their heart rythmn? Did I spell that right?
Hate to get all morose but had a family member who had a boxer pup that got into Easter stash and actually died from eating the chocolate.Apparently chocolate is toxic to a dogs blood system.Sure glad Ceiba only got the hummingbirdie ears! :)
Hoo boy. That really made me laugh out loud a lot and my husband got all curious. So I read it out loud to him and made him comer over to look at the hummingbirdie ears.
OH the fabulousness. Thank you so much for that refreshing laugh!! :)
And-- I was just recently hankering for a new Ceiba picture and message. Yay!!
My mom used to keep a dish of candy on the coffee table and whenever there were Hershey Kisses in it, my dog would eat the whole bowl full. Then I'd be picking up the dog crap a couple days later in the backyard and the little "Hershey Kiss" tags were sticking up out of all the piles. Good stuff! I love Ceiba!
Dear Amy,
Jus plz don give me peanut buter bcuz I haet that "Get Melk" commershul.
Also, no toefu. S'boring.
Luv,
Ceiba
I love Ceiba letters. Can she write an advice column too please?!?
My husband once called me from work and asked me to put out some frozen dinner rolls to thaw and rise. I stuck them on a baking sheet and left them on top of the stove.
When hubby came home, he asked, "Why didn't you thaw out the rolls?"
Seems one of the dogs, and you know who you are Cowboy, stole them. A half-dozen raw, partially frozen hunks of bread dough. Dogs have cast iron stomachs. I'm sure of it.
And besides, milk chocolate isn't as bad for dogs as dark chocolate or cocoa.
Man, and we are still eating our way through all the Easter candy!
My dog would skip the chocolate and go for the cat poop.
I asked the vet what we could feed the cat so the dog wouldn't want the poop so much (tried covered litter box, cat wants nothing of it). He told me there's nothing we can do, those things are like snickers to a dog.
So now we call them kitty snickers in our house. Or cat cookies. We also refer to the litter box as the dog's mini bar. When she starts following the cat around to sniff butts, we tell her to stop shaking the vending machine.
It's disgusting. It's my life.
Hahaha! This cracked me up.
So, I read your blog through my Bloglines account... I finish reading this post (mental note: must recite "Dear Jason" post to husband ASAP) and the next post in line is this:
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/05/01/funny-pictures-all-in-favor-of-getting-rid-of-the-dog/
Okay, I'll just go ahead and be the b**** here, because I know you purposely closed comments on the subject, and I so totally don't mind if you delete my comment. But just wanted to say that maybe some clarification might help any readers who are worried about you using a doppler so frequently. You said that it is a microphone, no ultrasound involved. So if you DID buy one of those baby listener things that truly are just a microphone, then just don't use the term doppler, because doppler fetal heart monitors ARE, in fact, ultrasound. They emit high frequency waves which use the Doppler Effect to detect blood flow. And while it's considered completely safe to have one at every prenatal appointment, that once a month is very different from several times a week. Medical professionals still warn that even though the at-home monitors are available, over-use is not wise and testing should only be done when necessary, for medical purposes.
Anyway. I know it's assvice you don't care to hear. Just thought if you're using a microphone, you could eliminate all the indignant finger-waggers by avoiding mis-use of the term Doppler.
So funny! A couple of weeks ago my dog ate an entire stick of butter including the wrapper. He was fine. Glad Ceiba is ok!
BEST POST EVER!!!! I laughed so hard my nose hurts...from the snorting. :)
Ceiba my dog Hexi would like to let you know that you are her Hero! She loooves to steal goodies from the garbage can, or eat entire 1lb bags of dark chocolate M&M's...nice. She also wants you to know that having to throw up 1lb bags of M&M's after your Mom makes you swallow peroxide is NOT fun.
Dear Ceiba:
I think you need more chocolate and butter. You're positively Nicole Richie-ish.
Much Love from NYC
Oh M Gee. That picture of Ceiba is sexy.
Thanks for the giggle!
Chocolate and butter...Ceiba is such a girl :)
Ceiba and Truman writing a column together would make my YEAR.
And I have to say if there is one thing I hate more than assvice, it's assvice from a PREVIOUS blog that has closed comments. That is just asslicious.
God, I love this site. You take just the silliest, everyday-life things and make me laugh out loud. Thank you!