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PopPop & His Boo Boo Hurt All Better, reports area toddler

Oh, Internet Peoples. Thank you for everything this week, the comments and emails and positive granola mother earth vibes or whatever it was y'all sent out. You guys are the wind beneath my wonderwall, or something.

My dad is FINE. Once again he pulled through something that could have very well killed him in record time and was eating hamburgers within 24 hours and bemoaning the lack of extra ketchup. He was discharged late yesterday because of a never-ending string of last-minute MRIs and EKGs and heart-monitory things in futile attempts to figure out why he fell (we still don't know, which is very frustrating, but I'm hoping one of the bazillion follow-up visits and consultations we've had to schedule will eventually reveal something). But for now, he is home and healing and complaining of nothing but a headache (you know, from all the SKULL FRACTURES AND WHATNOT) and that TiVo cut off the ends of all his Phillies games while he was gone.

My mother originally ordered me NOT to visit, on account of my delicate with-child condition, and I immediately pish-poshed her and tossed myself and my kid in the car and drove up there, where I proceeded to live on pure adrenaline for two days before crashing in the aisles at Target, clutching my parents' grocery list and nearly coming to tears over the stress of choosing Band-Aids for other people when you don't know what kind of Band-Aids they like, and when did fucking Band-Aids become so complicated? Flexible Fabric? Sheer? Antibacterial? Activ Flex? Do they prefer the 40-pack with the oversized wound patches? Or the 80 pack with those tiny little square ones that are probably only useful to people who routinely stab themselves in the thigh with freshly-sharpened pencils? Spongebob?

By the time I got to the cough drops and discovered that Halls now come in no less than 17 different varieties and then audibly yelped after Baby Tivo kicked me square in the cervix for the hundredth time that day, I realized that I was, maybe, just a tad useless and a little more delicate than I cared to admit.

Let's see, what else...oh, so while I've always figured that Noah would prefer if there was not a public blow-by-blow record of his potty training, I would like him to commend him for thoroughly proving my mother-in-law (and her Many Theories of Potty Training and How Easy It Is) wrong. I mean, sure, I would have LOVED to have gotten him back from her care on Tuesday completely trained, but I did get a tiny bit of perverse pleasure from the shell-shocked look on her face over the Crazy Delicious Stubbornness she witnessed that day. And then I innocently shrugged and said I was surprised, because he'd been doing SO WELL with me and it was just happening pretty NATURALLY, much like she sat on my couch once and shrugged and said she didn't understand why I was having such problems with breastfeeding, it always went SO WELL and happened so NATURALLY for her.

Wow. I sure do hold on to things sometimes, don't I?

(For the record, we went the cold turkey to cloth pants route, with disposable training pants for naps and bedtime only, a complicated give-and-take reward system involving a plastic baggie of spare buttons and chocolate, and an epic battle of wills. So basically, Potty Training in Less Than a Day, rewritten to be the slightly more accurate and yet no less optimistic Potty Training in Less Than the Rest of Your Life.)

I am now going to sleep. For awhile or so. In my own bed, free from the fear of my bedmate wetting it (my mother-in-law DID do a pretty good job with Jason, I'll give her that).



Very happy to hear that your Dad is home! What an exhausting week. I hope your weekned is relaxing. Umm, wait, Fathers day, well maybe you should just nap today.


Glad to hear PopPop is up and well... And I hope you picked the neon Band-Aids.


Good news! As for the potty training, if Noah works it out before he's 3.5, you're doing better than the parents of most boys I know.


Christina, I'm thinking that the groan I just heard way down here in La. was Amalah reading your comment and saying "Oh crap it's Fathers' Day this weekend"...


Christina, I'm thinking that the groan I just heard way down here in La. was Amalah reading your comment and saying "OMG that's THIS weekend???"


Yep. Me again. Didn't think the first one went through, reworded it and sent it again, and now I look like a dork. Delete 2/3 of my comments, puhleeeeeeeze.


I'm so glad you're dad is okay. I was telling someone at work about it and they said, "You don't even KNOW this person?" and I said, "have you met the internet?"
Anyway, YAY for your dad!
House of Jules


Amy, I'm so glad your dad is ok! And the rest of the family as well, of course.


You are far too concerned about this potty training.

Some kids are just later than others no matter how much we want it.

I have two nieces. Niece number one didnt potty train until well into 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Niece number 2 cannot stand anything in her diapers and will be trained any second now and she is only 18 months.

Like you have been told a million times - you dont see kindergartners in diapers.

And it is FANTASTIC your Dad is okay.


Noah has to be trained in order to start preschool. End of story. Not really my call to worry about it -- just something that has to be done.


Worst thing {that should be easy and helpful} ever is to do someone else's shopping.

Thrilled to hear that everything is going ok.


I didn't think you sounded all that concerned to me. You're the only one who knows your kid, after all. And potty training - whether your kid is practically training himself or needs a lot of help to get there - is going to drive you crazy regardless. End of story.

Glad to hear your dad's ok. I also hope you polished off all that ice cream before you came home, though. Can't let that stuff go to waste while you're pregnant, you know.

Lisa M

That's great about your dad!

Sorry about your "fragileness" (must be french). At least you know your emotional health will be back after the pregnancy. Hah! Oh post-partum hormones, how I despise thee.


Glad to hear your dad is well.

We are in potty training mode in our house with girl#2. Don't you just love it when people tell you how simple it is, especially those with no children. UGH, "talk to me when you run through the aisles of Joann's with a toddler who is pooping her pants and you have no backups" Not that I would know what that is like or anything!


i'm so glad your dad is doing better - hope they find the reason for the fall and it's a one-time thing.

re: potty training - my guy was 3 in feb and is now putting all his peepees in his undies (we did straight-to-undies, too) as of a week or so ago. however, he pooped at mcdonald's playplace today. my advice? it's . . . please help ME! it'll take your mind off your own problems! (plus, i need help.)


Ahhhhhhhh. Potty training boys. My son wasn't trained until he was 3 1/2. He'd go hide behind a door, poop in his pants, then bring me clean ones to put on him. I bought that "Less than a Day" book too. Finally what worked was a series of rewards/punishments. Yes, punishments. We did that back then. After I explained the system to him, he looked me in the eye, pulled down the front of his panties, urinated at my feet. Punishment ensued, and he was immediately potty trained.

I realize "punishment" might sound a little frightening here. What did she do, burn him with cigarettes? Pull out fingernails?

It was a smack on the butt. We did that in the olden days.

One thing that might be helpful (here goes the assvice, but I'm old so you have to listen politely) is to let Jason take him into the bathroom when he goes. Emulating Dad is something all little boys want, and seeing Jason doing it might make Noah more willing.

Of course this can backfire. My daughter tried it with my grandson, if there was a man around, she had them take the kid into the bathroom. This led to a very public recitation about the gigantic-ness of Daddy's, Uncle Tom's, and the next door neighbor's equipment.

Maybe you don't want to do that.


I am so glad to hear that your dad is reasonably well & back home, where he belongs.

And I am perhaps equally glad that Noah gave your MIL a harsh dose of REALITY, which gave you the opportunity for a little well-deserved payback. Way to go, Noah!


I'm so happy about your dad. I have to say that even though "no news is good news" I was really starting to worry that no news may be bad news. I'm really glad that wasn't the case.

As for the potty training, at least now you won't get as many stories about how easy it is if you just try.


I always love those little prove you wrong moments!


Glad to hear about your dad!

Good luck with the potty training! Training my son made me want to curl up in the fetal position and cry.

Rayne of Terror

Your potty training sounds like our approach too. It took us from 27 months to 38 months to achieve 100% toileting independence, one stage at a time. But now we're there day time, night time, all the time-time, and it's groovy.


Very happy to hear that PopPop is doing well and home.


Yeah! PopPop is better. Good news all around. Hope they decide there was NO reason for the tumble and write it off to bad luck. Also freakin' hilarious to spoonfeed those sublime words (easy, naturally) back to your shell shocked MIL. LOVE it. (although I was hoping to borrow her, miracle worker, for my wee 'un)

Rayne of Terror

I see the note about pre-school. It took us a week or two to be diaper free to (our)preschool standards. Then a few months to be 100% accident free all day every day. Then remainder of the 11 months was spent getting out of pull ups at nap time and bed time.


Have you tried "Elmo's Potty Time?" It's good for toddlers and parents can actually dig it too!
Also, very happy to hear your dad is home and better!


Jen- Yes! And I have the only toddler in the world who doesn't like Elmo, as it turns out. Could not care less about anything Elmo-related.

They need to let you custom-order that stuff -- Noah would dig Grover's Potty Time or or Blue's Potty Time or Mr. Incredible's Potty Time. Actually, I think I'd dig that last one too. Come on, Pixar, you're missing the boat here! Tell my son that Lightening McQueen uses the potty like a big boy already!


YEAH -- I am so glad your dad is doing better. Hopefully they find the cause, but I am finding the PA drs SUCK. My dad had a blood infection at the end of May and they still have no idea why! Oh joy.

As far as potty training... I got nothing for you as we are still working on it here too. Wonder if I should start shuttling his little brother to the potty too so I can just be DONE with this stage.


Soooo glad your daddy is all better! Yeah, I've been worried about him too, and no, I don't think it's strange.

I vote SpongeBob or Neon BandAids.

I have no assvice on potty training. I still wet myself occasionally. Usually after a couple of beers and a good laugh.


Wonderful news about your dad!! I hope he's having lots and lots of ketchup as he recovers!

Take care of you, too!


So glad to hear you dad is doing better. Frustrating to not know why it happened though. We go through similar things with my niece who is 3 and has had a few seizures. No epilepsy, no reason why. {banghead}

ON the bandaids - my husband's method is to blindly grab 18 or so boxes. He figures we'll use 'em all eventually, even if it is just to cover our 12 year old daughter's mouth. Just kidding. Or maybe not. Try havnig a tweener sometime.

And yes - I also got the 1 year old potty training talk from MY OWN MOTHER! Whatevs.


so glad your dad is ok & recovering...and that you made it back in 1 (more or less) piece.

hope you all have a relaxing weekend :)


Oh, yay!


I can remember my 1st boy being very easy to train (1 day) and the 2nd one being much more of an ordeal because until HE wanted to do it, he would not do it. Once he was ready, then it was easy. We had preschool looming as well. This is off topic but I went to look in the calendar I kept back then for reference and I have to say the best thing I did was have each child recap their day in their words to put on their own calendar and I would write the little details of what they said or did. They used to love looking back at those. Eventually, they didn't want to do it anymore but I am so happy for the years I do have.


Try bear in the big blue house goes potty. I have it. You can borrow it. Not that Michael is an example for potty training success.


Wondering at the intelligence of a preschool that REQUIRES the potty training of a population of little special people who grow at their own rate.

Our preschool realized that little boys need longer. All they required was that they were "on the path" to being trained. (And this is true of most of the preschools is So. Cal.) The staff, educated child care professionals, knew they would be changing some kids and guess what? By spring the hold outs were on track.

Why add all the stress? If Noah is STILL not ready soon, the pressure is going to be too much for both of you. And he may revert.

Hope you have a backup school where they are more in tune with child development.

Fraulein N

Glad your dad's better.


Happy to hear your Dad is doing better :)


Yay for your dad! May he get his ketchup and baseball games double-quick.

At least Noah has his parents about to help him potty train. My baby cousin (not that I can call him now, he's 10 and taller than some of my adult friends) took ages to potty train, partially because his parents have to spend almost every summer afternoon haying on the wildlife refuge and a friend's farm "down da valley" and when I was 12 and 13 and babysitting him on those afternoons, I was not prepared to potty train a little boy. (I'm about 10 years older than him.) Especially not that summer when we had a massive building fire right across the road from us when it was just me, him, and his ill-at-the-time grandmother. But it all turned out okay in the end!


Potty training is HARD.
Glad your dad is better.
I have band-aids that look like strips of bacon. Can't find THOSE bad boys at Target, unfortunately.
Happy weekend.


Very glad to hear that your dad is okay.

And for the record, Elmo's Potty Time has always freaked me out. Now that I know that Elmo uses the potty, I just can't shake the image of poop stuck in all that fur. Which probably suggests that I need therapy.


Hooray for resiliant Dads!! And hooray for Noah for making Grandma sweat just a little.
Have a relaxing weekend. You deserve it.


Excellent news, Amy. I'm so glad for you and your family.


Soo glad your Dad is feeling better. I would say the universe handed you quite the challenge with Dad in the hospital, Noah potty training and Tivo practicing mixed martial arts in your womb. But if anyone can handle that mess, it's you. Now, you deserve to be pampered mightily for the rest of your pregnancy.


I had an accidental approach to potty training (meaning I didn't have an approach I just kept being encouraging and patient and figured it would all work out eventually). son was about Noah's age and for some reason he was really into Batman. I promised him that as soon as he was ready I'd buy him two big packs of Batman underwear. It took a few days for him to decide, but decide he did. As soon as we got home he put a pair on (backwards so he could see the action picture)and then grew concerned. "What happens if I pee on Batman?" he asked. Without giving it any thought I just said very seriously "Oooh, Batman would be mad." And that was it. He never peed on Batman.


I also meant to say how happy I am that your Dad is okay. That must have felt very scary.


Glad that your Dad is well.

Pirate tattoo bandaids is the only way to go.

RE: potty training. It will happen. Just not when you want it to happen. Because that's how these things go.


Sigh of relief over state of dad's health (((whew!!)))....have a good sleep - you've earned it!


PS - preschools over here in Western Washington only want potty trained kids too. Took my pediatrician's advice and waited for my son to decide when he wanted to use the potty - and that was somewhere between 3 and 3 1/2, can't remember exactly. Anyway - my solution re: the preschool rules? I didn't start him in preschool until he was 4 - he went one year, and then went on to kindergarten. He'll be starting high school in the fall - and, thankfully, the missing year of preschool hasn't been a problem. (Plus - he's STILL potty trained!!). Sorry - couldn't resist!


and I took some perverse pleasure in hearing that your MIL was not able to exact her voodoo potty magic on Noah! :)

And dude! I don't miss those cervix kicks...there were times that I considered poking Cooper REALLY hard for some of the kicks and punches he enacted against my cervix!


and dude! they require Noah to be potty-trained when he will be not-quite-three when he starts preschool? that's crazy-talk for little boys (and a lot of little girls). I'm tellin' ya, you might want to have him in a "daycare" instead of preschool so that they have provisions for kids that aren't potty-trained (or are close...). You can still pick him up after half-day (or whatever timeframe the preschool might be). And sorry...realized my wording was not exactly good/nice (hey, it's late after a long week at work and two whiney kids).


Glad to hear your father is better. I am struggling with potty training my almost 3 yo myself. I am not having much luck! LOL


Good dog, woman. You should post a warning for pregnant women such as yourself. You had me laughing so hard...well I'm sure you know.

Glad to hear your dad is okay.

imagine community

I am sooooo glad your Dad is home.

Noah will get out of diapers when he's ready. No use battling wills over that one.


Z (with the mild spectrum blah blah) was finally trained at a tish over 4 years.

Bubs (delightfully typical) was a tish over three when we finally got him trained.

I still think I'm a good mom.


Great news about your dad.

When I trained my son with Autism (let the teachers train him)I had to use a real photograpgh - not a drawing - of a small boys penis with pee coming out of it. I still have not recovered. I was so afraid of being stopped for speeding and that falling out of my purse while I looked for my liscense.

Hairy Farmer Family

Oh boy. Love Laura's comment about poor old Elmo with poo stuck to his fur! It's altogether possible I may never succeed in forgetting about that...

I'm so glad your Dad is better. Yay for Dads and their amazing powers of recovery. And Boo for passive aggressive MILs! Wish I could think of snappy put-downs for mine, I generally only think of the perfect CRUSHING comment after I've arrived home.

the bee

Hooray for dad ! I will send ketchup if he needs more.
My 3 yr old niece will not go anywhere near the potty. She screams and bites if you pick her up to go there even. Forget under her own steam. We have tried Dora, Elmo and every other tape and every kind of potty, potty book , bribe, etc ...
Her sister now 23 was trained at 18 months. She is a tough customer. She may be the one to go to college in diapers.
I guess we just wait.. I think Noah is waaay above the curve for little boys. When he is trained will you come over and help us ?

Shamelessly Sassy

I find that when shopping for bandaids for others, Hello Kitty bandaids are the best option. Also, I'm with your dad about the Tivo. Anything that is smart enough to record my favorite shows should be smart enough to record the last few minutes.


Glad to hear your dad is okay. Happy Father's Day to him and know...for him...


So glad your dad is doing well. I'm also thrilled your MIL wasn't able to "run" the potty training into working. The first of many child raising things that my MIL will share with me was slapped upon me over a large family dinner last night where she said and I'm paraphrasing here that labor, while very painful, never had HER for one second acting unlady screaming for her. To which I instantly replied because late pregnancy has left me without a single filter "sometimes screamers have more fun." I should note we were in the center of the country club dining room. lol


I just bought potties for my 2 and half year old twins. This is as far as we got: My son put his head in the potty and said, "HELLO DOWN THERE!!!", and then said he would poop and pee on the potty with his diaper ON. I have a feeling this is going to take a very, very long time.


So glad to hear you are back home and your father is doing well. Was offline most of the weekend but HAD to pop in and check out the sitch. (sorry a little Kim Possible seeping in there...)


Happy to hear your Dad is doing good! Thats a happy Father's Day!


So glad your Dad is okay!


So glad your dad is doing well. My mother-in-law did the same thing in March. She came back from the movies and just fell face first. She had to go through MRI's and cat scans as well. She had some disk in her neck that had compressed together and had to have surgery. I would check with doctors about your dad as well. Sounds like the same thing. Good luck with it all.

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