28 Weeks & No -Ish
July 24, 2008
Since my doctor and I have finally agreed on a concrete due date, or at least a decent compromise on one (four days later than my math suggests, four days before some of the more runty early ultrasounds), I figure it's time to stop with the fuzzy update titles and just commit to a week already.
So. 28 weeks. Solidly in the third trimester. Eleven weeks or so away from delivery via hacksaw.
I won't lie. I'm a tad defensive about the scheduled c-section. (It's hard not to be, out here on the Internet.) When people inquired about my due date at Blogher I was unable to give the simple answer: October 18th, but I will probably deliver sometime around the 10th. Instead I found myself rushing to provide all sorts of details that no one really asked for: Noah was 10 pounds! Occiput posterior! Meconium! Cord around the neck! A really narrow, weirdly turned-in pelvis that prevented him from ever getting anywhere near the exit! Fetal distress! Doooooooom!
(And that's usually when people would back away from me, possibly emitting high-frequency screams that only dogs could hear. I need a Saint Bernard, some hot cocoa and a shitload of Bailey's, I imagined them saying.)
I've spent a lot of time thinking about my options. To have a shot at a vaginal birth, I'd likely need to be induced ahead of time, before the baby gets past the 8-pound range. (My doctor believes, based on what we saw last time, that I'd probably only be able to safely deliver a baby who was UNDER 8 pounds. It's not that I'm ridiculously petite or anything -- I simply do not have the birthin' hips. I've got something more akin to a bear trap.)
I worry that an induction is (for me, anyway) just a long, drawn-out path to a repeat c-section, since I have no idea how I'd respond to pitocin or if we'd really be able pinpoint the sweet spot between "manageable baby size" and "oh, you know, LUNG MATURITY AND SHIT." Knowing that a c-section would remain on the table in case of trouble, I would again opt for an epidural to prevent having to go completely under in case of surgery, and...that's not what I really want either. If I were to attempt a VBAC, I'd want to go full balls-out natural -- if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna DO IT. The full monty of vaginal birth. With that more or less off the table, the VBAC looks less attractive and more...like a needlessly risky choice I'd be making for probably the wrong reasons.
(And yes. Yes! I get that a c-section is major abdominal surgery and not without its own risks. Which is why, if it's going to remain a likely possibility anyway, I'd prefer for it to happen in a calm, scheduled manner instead of the OH SHIT I LEFT MY SCALPEL IN MY OTHER PANTS emergency scenario we had last time.)
Sp provided my uterus doesn't get any fancy ideas in the next 10 weeks or so, I'm not gonna do it. Because of the mitigating factors -- pitocin, epidural, a baby who seems to flip between tranverse and breech but never head down, and this little needling suspicion that I'd end up exhausted and worn-down and sliced open anyway -- I've realized that I don't really want to go for a VBAC. And...I think I should really, really want the VBAC. I've tried to talk myself into wanting it, but...I don't.
I have no regrets about my section last time -- all in all, it was pretty great and easy and absolutely the right option at the time. I have nothing to prove in its wake; I have no empty space on my Major Life Accomplishments trophy shelf that I'm dying to fill with the PUSHED CHILD SUCCESSFULLY OUT OF NETHER REGIONS 2008 AWARD. I just want us both to get through this thing okay and onto the really important stuff. (Like breastfeeding! And co-sleeping! And infant Mandarin Chinese classes! Ohhhh, and now I'm just cranky.)
dude - you are seriously the skinniest pregnant lady ever
also? it blows my mind that people feel the right to have an opinion about your vagina
birth your child the way you want to birth him
kick the haters in the shin!
You know the right reasons for what you choose to do and that's all that matters :) I am excited for the upcoming months of new baby stories!!
11 weeks is so soon!! I can hardly believe Noah will soon have a little brother.
Hey - you have to do what's right for you. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and no explaining necessary. Congratulations! You're going to have another beautiful little boy in just a couple of months!
you look fantastic!
there's no need to defend your choice, my dear. You have to do what's right for YOU, critics be damned.
It's about having a healthy baby in your arms, not about how he gets here.
HIGH FIVE!
My answer to why a scheduled-c? "Because my doctor and I agreed on it."
3w5d to go for me.
Dude, I was a C-section and so were all my brothers and sisters. And we did not turn out to be murderers or people who talk loudly on their cell phones at the gym or anything. Nothing to worry about!
I had similar feelings about justifying my scheduled repeat C-section, but I just KNEW that I'd end up with one, anyway. And when my second child was born via scheduled C-section, it was so obvious he would have never made it out with a VBAC. Go with your gut and don't pay the naysayers no nevermind.
Hey, I had 4 sections, 3 of them planned, because everyone involved (including the midwife) was convinced that I'd need one when all was said and done, anyway. Good luck with it.
I had two little girls vaginally (I hate to say "naturally" because childbirth is always natural) and while it was great and all and my recovery was nothing, I don't think I would feel like I "missed" anything if I had had two C-sections instead.
But, to be honest, I'm glad and relieved I was able to do it vaginally... but not "proud". It's not like they hand out trophies and it's not like we really have any control over it, anyway (unless we're Christina Aquelera whose OB-GYN who never met a scheduled non-medically necessary C-section he didn't love).
October will be here before you know it... get ready for two. It's tough but so awesome!
You've clearly thought this out and it's between your doctor and you, anyway. Best of luck.
I wish I could have looked like that at 20 weeks!!! Kudos to you... you look fantastic!!!!!
Even if a VBAC is an option next time around for me I'm still going with the c-section cause guess what? The whole point is a baby! And THATS THE WHOLE POINT! And why does it matter to everyone else how your baby gets here?
Beautiful belly there, Amy!
If people don't like it, f*ck 'em. It isn't their baby at possible risk so wtf do they know?
Not to be crude about it or anything.
I feel your pain (well, I'm not pregnant so I guess I don't feel ALL of your pain!). I had my first kiddo by emergency c-section. When we get around to making kiddo #2, I plan on having a c-section again. I hate having to explain that to people who think I'm not a woman until I push a kid out my vagina!
So you won't hear me bitching to you about it and hope that people (especially blogland) leave you alone about YOUR decision!
Hey, I had 4 sections, 3 of them scheduled because everyone involved, including the midwife, figured I'd end up with a section when all was said and done anyway. And let me tell you, the recovery after 2-4? Piece of cake. Easy peasy. Much better than some vag births I've seen. Either way, your body, your baby, you do it your way.
My scheduled C (which followed one natural child birth and one emergency C) was the. best. experience. ever. Really. I loved every minute of it. The doctors joked in the delivery room, it takes about 3 seconds, and the recovery wasn't really that different that the natural. (The recovery from the emergency s-u-c-k-e-d) Plus you get the added bonus of not being allowed out of bed for that first black meconium diaper. . .you know, because you can't feel your legs and all. I recommend them to everyone I know and I just smile when people argue with me. Because I know the real truth! Enjoy the next eleven weeks.
Honestly, I don't get it. Um, no kidding a c-section is a surgery that carries risk. Seems like for you, a vaginal birth poses its own, whole extra sets of risks. And, duh, of course you understand the risks of c-sections. You went through it before. And losing out on some sort of life trophy for delivering via c-section rather than vaginally? I thought the "trophy" was the baby? Does how it came to be really measure your worth in any way possible?
Obviously, I'm not a mom, which is why I don't get any how there's any possible need for you to have to defend your choice.
GO C-SECTION!
weird. It crashed in the first comment, then didn't reappear so I did the second one. Sorry bout that.
Hey, you get on with your bad self and have that baby however the heck you want to.
Now let's talk about the really important things - where did you get those jeans?! They look so much less maternityish and harrible than all the ones I could find! Am guessing they were $400 dollars and they don't make them anymore?
Psh. C-section, vaginal. Whatever and who cares? As long as the baby and you are ok, to hell with everybody else's opinions that don't mean crap anyway. Sorry, I just think it's silly that women need to explain why their choices are best for them and their family. Blerg.
When I went for my first appointment for my second pregnancy the midwife gave me an exam and announced that I DID have birthing hips and that I could have a nine pound baby, like YAY isn't that great and all I could think was, oh please don't let this be a nine pound baby. Luckily (for my nether regions) both my babies were little and healthy. I also thought I would have made an excellent wife in pioneer days, birthing hips were all the rage back then.
I had a scheduled C-section in November, and I recovered from it so much more quickly than from the first one (which was induced + failure-to-progress = quick! to the scalpel!)
It sounds like my experience was similar to Allison's. At my post-baby checkup, the doctor actually said, "That was a lot of fun." And for a planned surgery, yeah, it was a blast.
OH! And congrats on having a "firm" due date. I'm in the "-ish" realm right now myself due to possible induction: 18/11 days until my little man is due to arrive!
Those are super cool maternity jeans!
And, go on with your section self!
I had the same type of experience. First time it was a few days getting induced to an "omg get this baby out now" c-section. My second was a planned surgery so I had my doctor and it was so much better. But, I like things that are planned out. So it worked well for me.
"I've realized that I don't really want to go for a VBAC. And...I think I should really, really want the VBAC. I've tried to talk myself into wanting it, but...I don't."
I hear ya. I had an emergency c-section last year. The idea of going through all the labor pain to have another c-section makes my head spin. I don't think you can understand if you haven't been there. I just don't talk about it with people anymore.
I know you know this, but who cares how the baby gets here.. all that matters is that the baby comes out healthy! And I kind of hate you for being skinnier pregnant than I am 3 1/2 months post partum. :P
Hee! I love the reference to infant Mandarin Chinese classes. We started my little one at 18 months, but we're Chinese, so it's OK. :)
First of all. You suck! My belly isn't that small now and my baby is almost 8 months old!!
Second of all, I can totally relate to all of this justifying you have to do. I was right there with you around this same time last year. I made all the same arguments to myself and to anyone who asked, or didn't. I felt very defensive about the whole thing and very unsure about my decision, but only because I thought people would think I copped out or something. I too had complications with my first delivery and had to have an unplanned c-sections, so I had the whole VBAC blah blah blah thoughts running around in my head too (except mine included drugs... and lots of them!).
I had to go to therapy to get OK with this in my head, for cripe's sake! But I did. And I should. And there's no logical reason to have doubted myself in the first place. I was making a solid decision based on waht was best for me and my baby and I didn't have to prove myself to anyone.
And neither do you. Just wanted you to know that :-)
Having had a VBAC followed by a failed induction (30 hours of failure) that ended with a CS, my last child was quite refreshing since we knew the date and time she was coming. I was able to shave, shower apply makeup (stupid, I know) and have a baby with no stress whatsoever. I highly recommend your choice, especially with all the variables your facing.
I guess one of the hard parts about having a blog is that it makes it a whole lot easier for people of the world to judge you. I say eff them. If you thik a c-section is better for you and YOUR baby, you go for it! You have my support, my enouragment and my shoulder/blog/computer to cry on! You are a smart, educated, researched women and are not jumping into this blind, so you know what is best!
and holy crap 10 WEEKS! Where the freak did time go, it serioulsy feels like you just said oh ya I am all kinds of pregnant and now bam 10 weeks and you will have a baby! AHHHHH so thrilled for you!
What's most important is the health of your baby. It sounds to me like you tried last time and it was not good for the baby, or for you. Why put yourself through that? I think it is a much saner option to have a scheduled c-section than to induce your baby early. Baby deserves as much time on the inside to develop as you can give him. It's not like you're having a c-section just because you want to schedule it in between other appointments or something!
You DO look great, btw, so I think if anyone says anything to you you should just secretly think about how much better than them you look.
Your priorities sound pretty straight to me. Screw 'em.
Push him out or cut him out, Tivo's acoming. I'm gonna echo the other supporters who say "just do what's best for you", but I'd really be interested in seeing what happens with a VBAC as I had a CS with my daughter (who sat Buddha and stole my chance at the Mommy Award in '06) and have been considering a VBAC for Baby #2 who will happen when hubby comes to terms with the fact that we're gonna have another one, like it or lump it! (Wow, the last comment really should have been saved for another post.)
I had an emergency c-section the first time too after 8 rounds of pitocin.. hmmmm anyway same thing my pelvic area to small for my sumo baby. So this time I am having a c-section again.. I feel like I don't have the right to put myself at the risk for vbac even though they say the risk is small... whatever I was also suppose to be able to have a baby from the vagina ya know!
I am 28 1/2 weeks I will have a section prob on the 10th or the 8th... not sure which day I want yet.
I am HUGE!
You have to do what you feel is best! If anyone preaches at you otherwise, as Cara said, Screw 'em!!
Good for you that you've reached a decision that you're comfortable with. That (and of course, a healthy mom & baby) is all that really matters, anyway!
I had an emergency c-section last time and this time I'm having a scheduled one. Because you know what? It's no fun to go through 9 hours of "baby was in the perfect position, he just wasn't coming out" labor just to end up having major abdominal surgery any old way. I'm sick of hearing about the dreaded "C-section rates" of hospitals like they are ripping out the babies' toenails or something. No one ever talks about alarming "knee surgery rates" as though that were causing the Demise of the Human Race. Those dratted knee-surgery getters! Can't they just suffer through a busted knee like they did in the good old days -- the way the Good Lord intended us to? Doctors know how to do this and it's a good thing, people. That is all.
Having had two c-sections, the first of which was an emergency and sucked, I can tell you without a doubt, that you have made a splendid choice. The second PLANNED c-section was sooooo easy and I loved every minute of time with my new baby. Being able to plan help and childcare for our first daughter made us all so relaxed. Recovery was much quicker the second time around. I wouldn't change a thing!
No criticism here. I've got the bear-trap pelvis, too. We all do what we have to do!
Um, seriously? You do NOT have to justify your decision to have a scheduled C-section. It is no one's business or decision but yours and Jason's. Those who have a problem with it can offer to push the baby out their hoo-ha for you.
The word VBAC makes me very uncomfortable. It sounds like a brand of Dyson used especially for birthing babies.
"The new Dyson VBAC never loses suction! Not even faced with a nine-pounder!"
Also, am mystified as to why anyone cares how you give birth. I know when my time comes, I'm doing whatever is best for me and the baby. Is anyone else intimately familiar with my vag? I THINK NOT.
It amazes me how everyone thinks they know your body and whats right for it better than you.
I saw someone snatch a peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of a pregnant woman's hand once because she thought it was bad for the baby (and this was long before the whole peanuts = asthma connection) Um, hello, everyone just dial it down a notch.
Oh my.
I absolutely can't believe that you feel you have to defend your decision to have a scheduled c-section vs. a VBAC. I agree with the comment-er who said that the "trophy" at the end is a healthy baby (and a healthy mama, too, for that matter!)
As much as I love the internet and the community it builds, it does upset me that people feel the need to tear down others for the decisions they make. Which I guess is my way of joining the chorus of "eff 'em if they don't like it!" (I just don't think you should ever have to be in that situation in the first place.)
Anyway, now that I'm done babbling, I found you through zero to forty on AlphaMom, and as a fairly new lurker and definitely a first time comment-er, I just wanted to say that I absolutely LOVE your writing.
And those jeans? J'adore!!! Where did you find them?! Am 10 weeks pregnant myself and would LOVE something like that.
Look at the belly!! :) I'm still pulling for a girl. No offense to boy babies. :)
Poke the haters in the nose and then grab their crotches and say, "Let's talk about YOUR vagina now, shall we??" (Note: This will likely only work with women. But I'll give you $5 for every guy you try it with. :))
I'm going through a similar debate with myself now and will most likely end up with the same decision. First baby was emergency C due to meconium, cord around the neck, 8lbs. 10.4oz not fitting through what I thought were good birthing hips, and a dropped heart rate. Due date is October 17th, C-section would be 9th, 10th or 11th. You're not delivering at Sibley are you? All the other similarities are uncanny!
Wait. Wait. You mean they DON'T give out trophies for pushin' a baby out through the hoo-ha? Well crap. I guess I'll have to find something else to do with that empty space I've been saving on my shelf for the MIGHTY VAGINA TROPHY.
It baffles me that anyone feels like it's ok to offer (ha, "offer" like it's a cracker or a cookie) you an opinion about your body and your baby. The main objective remains the same no matter what the decision, yes? Get both you and kidlet #2 through in a safe manner. Up to you how that happens, so while I can completely understand the need to explain yourself on teh intarweb (where anyone can attack), I say tell the pretty strangers you meet that you are due at the beginning of October. All vague and shit. Ain't none of their business, anyway, right?
You are so skinny, lady.
Elizabeth -- I actually JUST got those jeans, so yes, you can still get them. On sale at Pea in the Pod. Lucky Brand. These are long shorts/capri-type things, but I think they make regular jeans with the same waistband too.
I of course JUST found a gift card that a friend gave me back when I was like, six weeks and never used, so I figured why not buy some new pants, what with 10 WHOLE WEEKS left to go? (I also had to buy a bathing suit since we're going to the beach this month and I cannot find my suit from last time. GAH.)