The Princess & the Pantyhose (aka Blogher '08)

28 Weeks & No -Ish

Since my doctor and I have finally agreed on a concrete due date, or at least a decent compromise on one (four days later than my math suggests, four days before some of the more runty early ultrasounds), I figure it's time to stop with the fuzzy update titles and just commit to a week already.

So. 28 weeks. Solidly in the third trimester. Eleven weeks or so away from delivery via hacksaw.


I won't lie. I'm a tad defensive about the scheduled c-section. (It's hard not to be, out here on the Internet.) When people inquired about my due date at Blogher I was unable to give the simple answer: October 18th, but I will probably deliver sometime around the 10th. Instead I found myself rushing to provide all sorts of details that no one really asked for: Noah was 10 pounds! Occiput posterior! Meconium! Cord around the neck! A really narrow, weirdly turned-in pelvis that prevented him from ever getting anywhere near the exit! Fetal distress! Doooooooom!

(And that's usually when people would back away from me, possibly emitting high-frequency screams that only dogs could hear. I need a Saint Bernard, some hot cocoa and a shitload of Bailey's, I imagined them saying.)

I've spent a lot of time thinking about my options. To have a shot at a vaginal birth, I'd likely need to be induced ahead of time, before the baby gets past the 8-pound range. (My doctor believes, based on what we saw last time, that I'd probably only be able to safely deliver a baby who was UNDER 8 pounds. It's not that I'm ridiculously petite or anything -- I simply do not have the birthin' hips. I've got something more akin to a bear trap.)

I worry that an induction is (for me, anyway) just a long, drawn-out path to a repeat c-section, since I have no idea how I'd respond to pitocin or if we'd really be able pinpoint the sweet spot between "manageable baby size" and "oh, you know, LUNG MATURITY AND SHIT." Knowing that a c-section would remain on the table in case of trouble, I would again opt for an epidural to prevent having to go completely under in case of surgery, and...that's not what I really want either. If I were to attempt a VBAC, I'd want to go full balls-out natural -- if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna DO IT. The full monty of vaginal birth. With that more or less off the table, the VBAC looks less attractive and a needlessly risky choice I'd be making for probably the wrong reasons.

(And yes. Yes! I get that a c-section is major abdominal surgery and not without its own risks. Which is why, if it's going to remain a likely possibility anyway, I'd prefer for it to happen in a calm, scheduled manner instead of the OH SHIT I LEFT MY SCALPEL IN MY OTHER PANTS emergency scenario we had last time.)

Sp provided my uterus doesn't get any fancy ideas in the next 10 weeks or so, I'm not gonna do it. Because of the mitigating factors -- pitocin, epidural, a baby who seems to flip between tranverse and breech but never head down, and this little needling suspicion that I'd end up exhausted and worn-down and sliced open anyway -- I've realized that I don't really want to go for a VBAC. And...I think I should really, really want the VBAC. I've tried to talk myself into wanting it, but...I don't.

I have no regrets about my section last time -- all in all, it was pretty great and easy and absolutely the right option at the time. I have nothing to prove in its wake; I have no empty space on my Major Life Accomplishments trophy shelf that I'm dying to fill with the PUSHED CHILD SUCCESSFULLY OUT OF NETHER REGIONS 2008 AWARD. I just want us both to get through this thing okay and onto the really important stuff. (Like breastfeeding! And co-sleeping! And infant Mandarin Chinese classes! Ohhhh, and now I'm just cranky.)




Hi! I am lurker. But a nice, normal lurker I believe. Shit this sounds like a lead-in to a nasty comment, huh? But no! I am firmly against VBAC due to risk of the uterus exploding into fiery bits of ...well uterus I suppose. I am firmly FOR choosing what works for you. Whether it be the OMG ring of fire way or the dear jesus just take it out of me now way. It is your cooterus, after all. Ignore the cranky people and have a baby! YAY BABY!


Hey Amy!

I just wanted to say that (in a weird "I'm so proud of a total stranger" sort of a way) I'm totally impressed with you laying it out there on the line like that.

I've seen some pretty nasty shit go down over c-sections online, and it's a risk you take to tell people that's what you're going with.

Good for you and good luck with your surgery!

midlife mommy

You don't need to apologize for anything (coming from someone who chose C-section before I was even pregnant!). Because, you have learned (just like we all did), that none of it matters a whit in the end. As for the due date thing, the answer that I used was the date AND time of the C-section. Most people got it and shut up.


Screw everyone else. Just do what you feel is best for you and the baby. As for due date, every time someone asked me, I gave them a different date with no explanation. It's not like people were really listening or anything.


I just had a friend who tried to do a VBAC, but it didn't work, so she ended up with another c-section. Two babies who wouldn't come out, two full blown labor and pushing stories with exhaustion followed by c-sections. You know what you need to do - who gives a rats ass what anyone else thinks. All that matters in the end is if you have a healthy baby. That's the only goal at the end worth anything.

kim at allconsuming

You know, what with four sons and all, you'd think I was pretty resilient to images of pregnant women. But that beautiful belly of yours? With a wee little person happily swimming around and growing and sleeping and dreaming? And the promise of a new life?

Well it gets me every single time.

No matter how they come into the world.

Miss Britt

I was going to be all supportive and shit and GO AMY! and YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU! and blah blah blah.

And then you said that thing about your hips. And how they aren't wide.

And now I just hate you.

Mrs. Flinger

Having written a (not so elequent) post about my impending schedule c-section with Baby O, let me just agree that the whole, "We're all alive! And not dead! And look! A-l-i-v-e!" part is pretty much the only thing that matters. (Well, after "when can I have my first drink, eh doc?")


So adorable! Can't wait to meet your little man in 11-ish weeks!
And you really don't have to be defensive about YOUR OWN CHOICE. Anyone who judges is defensive about their own choices.
Congrats on the third trimester and growing that perfect baby boy! (and I seriously can't wait to meet him and learn his well-agreed-upon name).


Glad you picked a week. And might I add that when I was 28 weeks, I was about 8 times the size of you!

Madame Queen

After a scary first time experience and an emergency c-section (including cord wrapped around neck!!), I too went with the scheduled section the second time around. Don't let ANYBODY make you feel bad about it. Just enjoy it.

By the way, October 18th is an AWESOME date. I happen to know a really spectacular woman (ahem!) who was also born on that date.


I second/third/hundredth the comment that you look fabulous! You are a pretty pregnant.

I was recently pg (baby is 3 months old now), and the question that always made me scratch my head is "Are you going to try to have the baby naturally?" I never knew what that meant. Sans drugs? Sans surgery? Sans hospital? I would just say - "I'm going to try my best to have a healthy baby and stay a healthy mommy." And left it at that.

So the moral of the story is - stay healthy, momma! And we can't wait to "meet" that kid!


Your baby will be here so soon, how exciting! I had an emergency c-section the first time. I feel like I could have written this post when I decided on a RCS the second time. And in March, I am going for my third. I felt the need to explain my choices a lot for a while too. And then I realized I would never ask a women to defend her choice to have a vaginal birth. And my births are just as special and relevant so I have stopped explaining. The great thing is that most people are lovely and understand and support you. It will be great, you will do great. For the record, my RCS, was just amazing.


With my second son, I had scheduled a repeat c-section, the day before my due date. The thinking was that if he chose to come before then, things would probably be OK, but it would not be a good idea to go past my due date. My doctor does not do inductions for VBAC--she worries about the Pitocin inducing too-strong contractions too fast.

I felt totally defensive about it, too. And you know what...he didn't want to come on his own. So last Thursday, I had my baby by c-section. It was the calm scenario you alluded to--time to talk to the doctors and anaesthesiologists ahead of time about what to expect, no rushing around, no panic. So, I don't get the trophy either. But I do get my son. And he is healthy, and lovely, and awesome. Which somehow makes the defensiveness go away.

So here's to two boys, and to making the decision that is right for YOUR situation. Good for you for making the call.


I had a C-section with my son after 14 hours of induced labor. His ginormous head got stuck in my pelvis and spent a good amount of time pulverizing my bladder.

If we have another, I'll have another C-section. For me that labor business SUCKED. I will never, ever do that shit again.

And I personally know someone that has had that worst-case scenario happen while attempting a VBAC. Luckily both mother and child were able to be resuscitated. That story alone is enough for me to not want that risk the next time.

But that is MY decision not anyone else's. I support anyone who wants to have a natural childbirth. More power to ya if that is your decision. Everyone has the right to make whatever decision they want for their situation.


Okay. I don't understand why people would get all batass crazy about your choice to go au naturel or C-Section? I have a 15 year-old son, and I clearly remember the day he was born. Labor for over 24 hours, fetal distress, military hospital, C-sections "frowned" upon. Honestly, I could have gone either way and I wouldn't have cared. He came out through the Mommy Tunnel, but I can't say it changed my life one way or another. But HE did. :) And you're right - that's what matters.


Oh good lord. Those women who place so much emphasis on how the child is birthed are insane. I've got two kids. They both came out of my vagina. Know what any of us has to show for it? NOTHING. Okay, well, I don't have a c-section scar. Like it matters among all the stretch marks. Oh, and my kids had cute pointy heads for the first two days of their lives. It's not something they brag about, trust me.

Insert a cliche about "How they get into the world makes no real difference in the long run, it's what you do with them once they're here that counts" that's probably already been said 100 times but I'm at work and don't have time to read through all the comments. Also, it happens to be true. Seriously. Anyone who tells you it's not is kidding themselves. Don't fall for it.


Your body. Your baby. Screw everyone else.

Brigid Keely

It really pisses me off that so many women are so defensive about their choices (vaginal birth versus c-section, bottle versus breast, whatever) because so many jerks feel it's their duty to badger them about The One True Way Of Doing Things. I hope that your birth goes well and that you're able to handle anyone who needles you with bullshit.

Wacky Mommy

No badgering allowed, damn! Our first was 10.2 (c-section after 3 days of labor), 2nd was scheduled c, one week before due date. Weighed 9.6. (I think he was actually closer to 2 weeks before due date, based on what doctor was saying. An 11-pounder would have been RIGHTEOUS, huh?) (No, I didn't have gestational diabetes.) Anyway. It was a whole different experience because I wasn't exhausted from long, terrifying labor.

Tell everyone to bite you right on your curvy little behind.


I have to delurk to tell you that I'm at 29 weeks and have been a bit down lately... but when I get to read one of your blogs I always chuckle! Thanks for that.
You just get that baby out safely and screw all the rest! (OK. Don't really.)


There are only two people whose opinions really matter here -- you and your doctor. I can't believe people have made you feel you have to defend your decision to have a c-section.

That being said, a planned c-section is a wonderful thing. You drop the first kid off at Grandma's, check in at the hospital and a couple of hours later you have a baby in your arms. It's a much more pleasant experience than the emergency C. (My first was also an emergency C and I went with a C for my second). Also, the recovery from the second is much quicker than the first.

Good Luck! Can't wait to hear the updates.


There are only two people whose opinions really matter here -- you and your doctor. I can't believe people have made you feel you have to defend your decision to have a c-section.

That being said, a planned c-section is a wonderful thing. You drop the first kid off at Grandma's, check in at the hospital and a couple of hours later you have a baby in your arms. It's a much more pleasant experience than the emergency C. (My first was also an emergency C and I went with a C for my second). Also, the recovery from the second is much quicker than the first.

Good Luck! Can't wait to hear the updates.

Tootsie Farklepants

You'll probably get hundreds of opinions about this but the bottom line is doing what's best for your baby. Period. And it sounds like attempting a VBAC is an unnecessary risk.


I totally feel you.

My female OB/GYN and I had a discussion on my due date about baby size and such as she was breaking it to me that a section was my best bet. (I cried and wailed at my FAILURE to be able to birth NATURALLY and O WOE IS ME...)
She consoled my wantin-vaginal-birth-but-not gettin-one-blues with the following: "there is an upside... and I kinda wish I had done c sections with both my boys as it would be nice to be able to play softball and not piss myself every time I throw a ball"

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