34 Weeks
September 04, 2008
Yes, yes, I know, I know. I'm getting dangerously close to the point where I simply cannot go a day without at least posting that yes, there is no baby yet and all is well with my womb. I'm sorry. It's just that the baby's sock drawer is not going to repeatedly arrange and rearrange itself, y'all.
I've also been blowing my writerly load via dozens of long emails to my husband, since we've learned that we are only allowed to argue about politics via electronic methods. Otherwise we get a tad...shrill with each other, as during major election years our usually happy existence as independents ends, and we retreat to our separate party corners and hiss and spit and furiously send each other links that SO TOTALLY prove that the other person is a complete fucking idiot.
And while I usually just end up defaulting to the surefire "I am never sleeping with you again unless you pull your head at least PARTWAY out of your ass," I'm thinking that's not going to be particularly effective this time.
I mean, check OUT this slammin' physique. Wouldn't YOU be okay with letting the Bush tax cuts expire as planned in 2010 for a chance at that ass?
That's what I thought, suckahs. (And that IS a maternity tank. Those extra four inches of visible fishbelly are so fierce.)
If current "plans" hold -- and oh, I do so love using the word "plans" in regard to ANYTHING birth-related, since it makes me think of "birth plans" and how all the pregnancy books list that as something one should pack for the hospital ("darling, can you please fetch me my chapstick, Yanni CD and seven-page birth plan from the suitcase? It's in the front pocket. No, that's the back-up copy, I mean the one I had laminated.") -- I'll be having this baby in about five weeks.
And...we feel ready, more or less. Oh sure, we still haven't gotten all the various baby gear down from the attic yet and I'm still only assuming that the car seat is where I think I left it, and a full inventory of Noah's infant hand-me-downs reveals a horrifying shortage of 3-6 month sized feetie jammies but...eh. We're ready. We've been gripped with crazy baby fever over the past few weeks, which is convenient! What timing!
Whenever we see someone out and about with an infant, our conversations go something like this:
NOM, I say. SMUSHY BABY THERE MMMM.
GOOD, Jason says, SQUAWKY NEWBORN CHOMP.
Then we nod and go back to gnawing on bones and bitching about Geico ads. (And short- vs. long-term solutions to the energy crisis and Iraq timetables and OH MY GOD SARAH PALIN.)
I'm not sure when it happened -- the 3D ultrasound, the crazy visible kicks and rolls and undulations of mah belleh, the discovery of baby socks that look like shoes, the temporary threat that things might in fact NOT be as perfect and surefire as we thought? I don't know. But here we are, at 34 weeks, and we are finally able to have a conversation about The Baby that doesn't involve a heaping hot dose of TERROR and WHAT HAVE WE DONE? Undo! Ctrl-Z!
My only frustration is that we don't have a name. (Jason changed his mind. Don't even get me started. He changed his mind but has not offered a single usable alternative and WOW, YOU MIGHT EVEN SAY HE FLIP-FLOPPED, MUCH LIKE A CERTAIN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE.) (Okay, I'll stop now.) Jason wants to name the baby after he's here, in the hospital. Which is fine, except that I secretly continue to use "the name" in my head and I seriously doubt I'll be able to think of him as anything else, but I have decided to exert my energy elsewhere. The aforementioned sock drawer. The search for the perfect coming-home outfit, which is driving Jason crazy because I think I have rejected every pair of blue feetie jammies in the tri-state area as being either 1) Not special enough, 2) Too frou-frou, 3) Not boyish enough, 4) Too boyish, oh my God, my newborn is not coming home clad in MONSTER TRUCKS, and 5) I dunno, I just don't think raccoons are the statement I'd like to make on the birth announcements. Don't you have something in a teddy bear motif?
And...Jesus, I should stop before I make our household sound ANY MORE INSANE.
Quick! Look! Pet photos!
Way to keep it classy there, everybody.
adorable belly :]
i dread the day i have to fight with someone over baby names. because i will win, & it doesn't matter what you say, He Who Helped Create This Life. it is sure to get ugly.
I want a cute baby-belly like that! (And yes, I said cute - not "fishbelly" - CUTE. Say it with me now, Amalah... "Cuuuuuuuuuute.")
I loves me some pregnant bellies... but not in a stalkerish way. It just makes me want one of my own.
I can't WAIT to find out this kid's name! Wee!
And if either of you need some political ammo, check out this opinion piece from Gloria Steinem if you've not yet seen it: http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/opinion/la-oe-steinem4-2008sep04,0,1290251.story
Pat pat pat. That's a gorgeous belly! The right name will reveal itself after you meet the little guy and you'll both love it. Can't wait to see pictures of him - it won't be long now!
Pat pat pat. Sorry, I can't help myself. Those last couple weeks were so uncomfortable, but I always marveled at the crazy size of my belly! (ok, I had twins) Still - you look TERRIFIC. Pat pat pat.
okay, this is a response to your last post, but have you read Waiting for Birdy? by blogger Catherine Newman; she describes second child angst so well! It IS so different than waiting for your first! Congrats on making it to the home stretch!
Yes, political arguing! Others do that!? My boyfriend actually works for Palin and I am holding him personally responsible for all this mess. Seriously? WTF? Not sure what I would do with myself this week if i was pregnant and couldn't drown the sorrows a bit.
Holy shit, peace be with you. I don't think I could sleep at home if my husband and I had conflicting views on this election. Because I am diplomatic and mature.
In other news, I suddenly became terrified that the boy name you want will be the EXACT same one I have my heart set on. Even though I don't know if I am having a boy yet. And I'm not sure when baby names became akin to the Highlander for me. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
As long as you're not naming the baby after his candidate, then you're okay!
Suzanne - He did turn to me last night and say, "Trig? That's kinda cool."
And then I killed him. The end!
Oh my God, the name mess. THE NAME MESS. Adam and I agreed on a name like, TEN YEARS AGO, and I'd forgotten all about it, until today when he announced, "Well, at least the names are all sewn up! Perfect!"
HE THINKS IT IS A DONE DEAL. A NAME I CHOSE A DECADE AGO, WHEN I WAS TWENTY-THREE AND TOTALLY NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING OTHER THAN DOING TEQUILA SLAMMERS.
Is Trig short for trigger? Tell me it's not. Not that that would make it okay.
Super cute pregnant belly btw.
Gorgeous belly.
Speaking of pets, I would love to know where you placed decal Max when you moved.
If voting is allowed I'd vote for Gymboree's Monkey stuff right now. He'll be a little monkey, you know it!
oh my, the political arguments. My husband and I have both volunteered for Obama and we still have arguments about the finer points, and especially the sexism leveraged here there and everywhere.
also, Chris Matthews' hair. What is it? Not a toupee but not hair either.
you pregos have got to get over the idea that you body at 34 weeks is repulsive... it simply is not true.
I am not a pregnant lady fetish guy, but my wife pregnant was soooo hot! We had some great last pre-baby ... intimacy!
I wouldn't rely on your figure turning off you hubby! It probably won't work!
I had been wondering how the kitty was!
You look great! Regarding the name thing, do what I did the third time around and plead the case for your name pick in the delivery room between the delivery of the baby and the delivery of the placenta, while he's still in awe of you and the terrible, wonderful work it took for you to push his baby out of your body. Take it from me, it works...
See, the response you have to give when someone is stupid enough to say "You mean the baby's not here yet." is "Of course the baby is here. I just adore carrying the extra weight around so I strapped a 12 pound bowling ball to my belly."
This must be delivered in a totally dead-panned manner.
I found your blog through Cecily's interview and I love what I've read so far.
Does it really matter if he helped create the baby?
His contribution was 30 seconds, your contribution is 10 months (40 weeks, whatever!).
Everyone do the math. She who does the pushing or faces the knife has the final say!
Wow, so close!!! Exciting! Of course my little girl stunned us all by arriving at 34 weeks - I didn't even have the nursery painted yet. Still don't, in fact (5 months old this week...).
I'm pretty sure the birth plan should just be "convert 'inside baby' to 'outside baby'" - Good Luck!
I am so totally dying to know what the name is/isn't.
Obviously you get absolute power of veto on Palin-style names. You're carrying this bad boy.
"Maximillian Thunderdome!! Hi Max! Hi!" -- My Siamese, Tarot.
"What a fabulous belleh." -- Me.
"Sarah Palin? Huh. Yeah. About that..." -- Also me.
Do I need to make Noah a tee like I made for my son? "My Mama is for Obama." LOL
I have forgotten to send that baby gift to Sweetney for you (doh! stupid brain!), so maybe Noah will get a little something something, too.
I don't have anything exciting to say except that, Wow! You sure are looking pregnant these days! This 34 week shot puts the 33 week shot to shame.
Man, I am ready for this election to be finished. I love politics, but I am so worried that the side I don't want to win will and I just want to get the whole thing finished. It is driving me bonkers. I constantly check websites to see if the new Gallup poll and if Palin is gaining among independents and/or Hillary supporters. I wonder if the American people are just stupid enough to let McCain win (sorry, I'm not sure if you are the McCain person in your family). I am a basket case!
And on the pregnancy front....it looks like you sort of popped this week! I am sure you don't love it when you read that since you probably have felt popped for several weeks. It's exciting the new baby is so close!
Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper & Trig?? WTF kind of baby name book did Sarah Palin use?
Yippee! Almost here! I'm so excited for you, and in honor of you and Baby Tivo I may just have to go but my daughter some socks that look like shoes, because seriously? They are way too cute.
One of the many things I love about Josh is that he immediately agreed on every single baby name I threw at him. So now we're going to have kids named Lamp Shade and Dip Shit.
Has Ceiba lost weight?
Oh the naming. I had a name all picked out. It was his name. Hubbz disagreed and we decided to table the final decision until after the baby was born, when, I thought, I would get my way because who's going to argue with the woman who just birthed his son. I'll tell you who? My husband is who! So now our son has a name, but it's not his right name and even though I am used to the name and it suits him fine, I still can't help but think that it's not his right name and that pisses me off. The moral of the story. Jason, if you're reading this, let her have her name because it is the right name, you just dont' know it yet (we live with these little people inside of us for 10 months, so believe it or not we know a thing or two about them before they are born), and also you don't need the simmering resentment that will come if you make her go with a back up name. Really.
Carry on...
awe!! i havent' seen the pets in soo long!! they are so cute! and so is that belly! ahh so excited for you
Urgh! My husband has done the same thing about the name we picked out forever ago! Granted I am only 22 weeks and not as close as you are to D-Day but that just means there are so many more weeks left to argue and be frustrated about this situation! MEN!
Matt and I have the baby name thing deciding based on sex. If it is a boy, Matt gets 51% of the vote, if it is a girl, I get 51%. And whoever "loses" this time, gets 51% next time, no matter what kind of baby.
And you've got outlet covers! I'm so proud...that's it...you've got outlet covers, you're officially ready.
I take it Jason is voting for McCain? But I'm pretty sure your not. You got to talk him out of that, STAT.
Doug pulled the same nonsense with the babies name. Why Michael got named on the way to the hospital.
I liked your name choice. Not that I'm telling. I'll call the baby that anyway.
We didn't have a name picked out until our son was born. Actually, we told my parents we were naming him Banjo. We waited until we saw him so he was nameless for at least a couple of hours.:)
I think you look great for 34 weeks!
Is the dog licking the cat's butt?
Mu husband tried to pull that changing name crap yesterday. He'll be let out of the closet once I've signed the birth certificate.
You look amazing by the way.
What is Trig short for? Trigger? Trigonometry? WTF?
We also have a house divided. We probaby won't speak for about ten days just before and after the election. Oy.
I know you feel enormous, but you look great! You're all belly! You look enviably slender everywhere else. I, on the other hand have decided at 29 weeks that:(1) pregnancy is a manufacturing process for equal amounts of pure cellulite and pure baby; and (2) my doctor's scale yesterday HAD to be at least 4 pounds off because my husband's fancy digital scale at home says so.
WOW! Am I going to sound that insane when I'm 34 weeks?? phewww.. i need to catch my breath. I read that whole entry like an episode of Gilmore girls.. you know how they just talk so fast and never breath? Yea.. that was me.. reading you.. Is that how you were writting??
Um..and.. what is the deal with the maximillion thunderdome tag? I dont get it...
Ryley - Maximillian Thunderdome is my cat's name. But you can just call him Max, if you want.
I have those shorts. And they look better on you all cute and pregnant. Must go get pregnant.
welcome to my house. http://jennnster.blogspot.com/2008/09/ster-olitics.html
I love your belleh! Absolutely preshus. (and I'm starting to get jealous; yes the baby fever is fierce).
So, was political affiliation as part of marrying criteria a bad idea? I certainly don't know how I'd survive if I couldn't giddily talk politics with my husband. He'd seriously be on the couch if he enjoyed that RNC last night. For serious.
and I'm DYING to know 'the name'. Will you reveal after he's born? (the actual name and the name picked out first? Please? or reveal now? PLZ?)
Yes, I'm a baby-naming junkie. For stranger's babies. For names they have decided not to us. Don't judge me.
not to USE. obviously. Not to us makes no sense. Pretty much like the rest of my comment.
Carry on.
Classy indeed! Good thing the hoo-ha wasn't showing in the mirror, Brit! Congrats on only 5 weeks left.
adorable belly!!!
Dude you are totally making me want to have another baby.
Dang it.
My husband wants to name our son at the hospital too. We did this with S, but it was REALLY, REALLY STRESSFUL thanks to sleep deprivation and vicodin. So I'm not sure it's the best idea.
I don't even have a name in my head though. Nada.