36 Weeks, Oh My God
False Start

Famous Last Words

FRIDAY:

"I don't think I've got the nesting thing as bad this time, you know?"

"Oh yeah, you're much calmer. You haven't even said a single word about replacing the kitchen cabinets."

SATURDAY:

I made us drive two states and like, four counties south to look at houses, because I thought we could cut our mortgage in half and get a single family home with a garage and a whirlpool tub in the master bath and you know what we could do with all that extra money every month? We could replace the kitchen cabinets! I am brilliant! This is a brilliant plan! I've got a stack of realtor.com printouts and a good feeling about this one zip code, which is ridiculously extra cheap and I'm guessing it's just because other people have never HEARD of this zip code and not for like, a real valid reason like you need to keep a cattle prod handy to keep your neighbor's herd out of your tomato garden.

SUNDAY:

Okay, so that didn't go super well. I'm not ready to give up. I have a NEW stack of realtor.com printouts and a few different neighborhoods triangulated on the GPS. We won't drive QUITE so far out this time, and I have a really good feeling about THIS zip code, which is also strangely cheap even though it's really close to an area we totally can't afford, and again I'm just going to assume that this neighborhood simply hasn't crossed anyone else's mind as an option and not because of like, rapes and shootings and gangs and drive-bys. Or tractor-bys. Look at this little yellow house! It's precious! It's adorable! I know there aren't any photos of the inside and we've heard crazy stories about people pooping in the appliances and pouring cement down the pipes when the bank repossesses their house but NO ONE would do something like that to such a precious little house like this one, right?

SUNDAY NIGHT, AFTER WE GOT HOME AND INSTALLED A NEW LIGHT FIXTURE IN THE DINING ROOM WHICH MEANT WE HAD TO REARRANGE THE DINING ROOM FURNITURE AND HANG NEW PICTURE FRAMES, AND NOW WE NEED TO CALL AN ELECTRICIAN BECAUSE I WANT THE LIGHT FIXTURE CENTERED OVER THE DINING ROOM TABLE'S NEW POSITION AND OH MY GOD WE ARE SOOOO REPLACING THAT UGLY RUG AND AFTER WE RELOCATED THE LIQUOR CABINET AND REARRANGED THE LIVING ROOM FURNITURE TO ACCOMMODATE OUR NEW COFFEE TABLE THAT WE GOT AT THE POTTERY BARN OUTLET AND PULLED EVERYTHING OFF THE BOOKSHELVES TO MAKE THE ROOM SEEM LESS CLUTTERED AND I MADE JASON ORGANIZE OUR DVD COLLECTION WHILE I IRONED THE DRAPES:

"So what if we just REFACE the kitchen cabinets?"

Comments

andrea

Welcome to my world. I went between remodeling and moving and finally gave into remodeling. Now my 8+ month pregnant self is hell bent on finishing everything around this house, just so I can get the opinion of a realtor. You know just in case moving is a good option for us.

Suzanne

Jason,

My sympathies!

Amy,

I hope that baby Tivo comes soon so that you don't wear your ass out house hunting!

Sad but true: you'll find the perfect house, but the school system will SUCK donkey balls.

Wendy

Okay, so we bought a bank-owned house in May. Pooping in appliances? Cement in pipes? I have NOT heard those stories. Shit. Literally, I guess. Must go home and sniff all appliances.

Samantha

Ha! I do this to my husband and am not even pregnant!! God, he's so screwed, I almost feel sorry for him. But cool, I'm not the only one who irons drapes.

Megan

You had me at "pooping in the appliances." I am giggling hysterically, but I'm also horrified.

Maria

Ha, man that sucks. My nesting has so far been mostly food-related. Which makes no sense. Newborns don't eat muffins. Muffins only serve to fatten my ass--which btw also doesn't feed newborns.

Sigh.

I'm so excited about this fiesta of due dates coming up! Baby pictures and stories to sustain me through the home stretch!

Trish

I have done exactly what you are describing! Recently!!

As in: I'm sure that cute little house is low priced just because it's in the north end, and maybe it's not falling down, or next to a neighbourhood bar, or ... wait, someone appears to be burning evidence in the middle of the street ... avert your eyes ... DRIVE! DRIVE!!

Yeah. We just decided to renovate. But we still look.

Starbuck

You are too funny! And I see you have graduated from run-on sentences to capitalized bold run-on sentences. Just for added emphasis, I'm sure!!

Kris

UMMMMM, yeah. I am 35 weeks. Gotcha.

K.

cursingmama

Completely emptied the very large & unusually deep linen closet in order to organized everything AND - clean the carpet in there. On my hands & knees with a sponge.

Gots some pretty nice houses for cheep in my neighborhood - we're only like 8 states over.

Amaelija

I have never heard of the shitting in the appliances or cement in the pipes. The foreclosures I have seen have no appliances. I have heard of people ripping out the copper pipes. And the (former) owners of the house around the corner from me took all the siding off the house before they had to move out.

Are you seriously thinking about moving again, or it is just a neurotic, hormone-induced thought?

HeatherPride

Sit down, sister! Unless you want that baby to be born tomorrow! (that's it, huh - you want the baby to be born tomorrow..)

Take it easy!

Jessica K

That's hilarious. And I'm right there with you. We finally put in new carpet, which was great because it gave me an excuse to clean out all the closets and bookcases and hey - new carpet!! Now I just have to put the nursery all back together again.

Jen

I melted the drapes last time I ironed them. Which meant new drapes. Which was the end game-plan. The carcinogens inhaled were just a bonus.

Melissa from Pittsburgh

Nope ... I don't think all of that is related to nesting at all.

Nope nope nope.

Karen

My husband does the nesting here. I can't remember what he did before my oldest (now nearly nine) was born, but before the second was born, there was the Great Security System Installation. We really did need it, since somebody had broken into the garage and put a live skunk in there (seriously!).

Before the birth of our third child, there was the Dining Room Table Construction and Staining Project. It was awesome to behold, and is a really great table, with enough seating for eight if we squeeze.

I don't nest. My husband does it all for me, which I think is brilliant of me (outsourcing!).

Candice

LOL
ohmygod we are house hunting right now and we have looked at some foreclosures. I actually sent this post to my realtor b/c the one foreclosure we looked at- he opened the fridge and barfed in his mouth-
there WAS POOP SMEARED IN THE FRIDGE.
And it the fridge had not been plugged in in 6 months.
yum.

DiarofWhy

Sounds like you had quite a weekend. Spur of the moment real estate, wow! Good luck with all that.

Roberta

All of our nesting energies started around the time of conception with the idea of finishing our basement, and evolved into an almost-whole-house renovation. We recently fled the scene and moved into a temporary apartment. My in-laws say they rented it for themselves to move into once the baby is here. But I think they were so horrified by the way we (and by "we" I mean "the unborn grandchild") were living in the middle of a construction zone that they rented the apartment sooner and for longer than necessary to force us to move into it. I'm not complaining - having an actual kitchen instead of a gutted wreck is nice. But since I can't nest in a baby room direction yet, the nesting has been taken out with obsessive compulsive attention to paint colors, kitchen faucets, bathroom vanities and tile. My husband doesn't know whether to be worried or just relieved that he doesn't really have to pick out all this stuff.

imommy

Oh, nesting. Never fails to provide a good laugh!!!

Jenny H.

With my last pregnancy I may have alphabetized the items in my cupboards. All of them...

jodifur

I do that almost every weekend. And every weekend we still can't afford a new house.

But, I think you bought your house less than 2 years ago and you don't want to pay capital gains taxes. I'd buy it in a heatbeat though, don't even put it on the market!

Kristin

Bwahahahaha...that is really funny.

Greg S

Amy,

Please tell Jason that I said he's a saint.

(You don't have to tell him he's a saint. You don't have to think he's a saint. Just tell him for me.)

Thanks!

Backpacking Dad

We nested hard. We impulse-bought a house and then tried to remodel it before the baby came. She is now 17 months old.

We still can't live in the house.

tutugirl1345

I totally do this all the time- and I'm 22 and not pregnant. I just get a kick out of redecorating. (And trying to get my boyfriend to remodel his house). I suggest you tell your husband tonight that you want to renovate the whole kitchen now. Make sure there's a soft pillow behind him :)

BOSSY

There you go basking in the re-facing Paint Fumes again.

marie

*cackle!* You are too funny, woman!

We're doing the kitchen cabinets for sure. But I've been bugging my husband about it for years already. This is just a good excuse.

MamaCass

You have a very nice husband.

Sprite's Keeper

That's nesting? My husband would rather deal with you when you're nesting than with me over trivial things such as cleaning the garage. "Don't put that there!" "No, take EVERYTHING out and clean the corners first!" "I don't care if you can't lift it, find a way!" Oh, wait. I just reread your dining room segment. I think we're a draw...

MissAndera

HA!!!I'm 23.5 wks and I'm not nesting at all either. Nope. I do, however, have about 15 new fleece baby blankies that I may or may not have made over the course of the last 3 days.. Does baby TiVo need a new blankie? or maybe FOUR?

Katie

Hah. My family is at the we-really-need-to-renovate-but-where's-the-money?! How can we renovate without MONEY?!
Also, we wouldn't have a kitchen because we need new tile on the floor and on the counters and maybe new wooden floors in the living room and gaaah.

Anissa@Hope4Peyton

Ahhhh yes, that need to rip all the crown molding down and repaint it, followed by a nice healthy dose of window coverings...anyone for new bathroom fixtures? I remember those days well.

Tiff@Three Peas

LOL i did the same thing while on modified bedrest! We moved in two days before he was born. I came home with boxes to unpack and me healing from a c-section! Needless to say we were done unpacking. . . 6 months later! LOL

Good luck on the hunt!

The Broken man

He he.....how pregnant are you? When should i be expecting all this from my wife?

The Broken Man

Mom on the Run

Before my third child I definitely did the rearranging thing. I was a little obsessed with cleaning out and sorting, too. Once the baby arrived I let everything go to hell.

I am not pregnant right now, but have really been in a mad frenzy of cleaning and arranging. The reason: My youngest is now in all-day kindergarten. All of a sudden I have bags of time to do all the cleaning I have been meaning to do since I went freelance in 1996!

Frema

I am due with my second baby (a boy!) in February, and Luke, Kara, and I are moving into our first house (two stories!) at the end of October. Because of all the work we'll be doing to get the place ready--new paint, new carpet, and various new pieces of furniture--I'm hoping the nesting bug won't be as severe when I'm closer to term. Am I just kidding myself?

Also, it's funny that you mention kitchen cabinets, because the current owners of our house thought it would be a grand idea to repaint THEIR cabinets a horrid shade of pea green. ON PURPOSE. So I totally want new cabinets, but right now, a neutralizing paintjob is all we can manage.

Lindsey

Tell Jason he has it easy. When I was 4 months pregnant I decided we needed to BUILD a house. Now THAT'S nesting.

Heather

I have been trying to buy a house for about 5 months now. I have looked at many foreclosures and I have the poopy appliances beat. One of the really nice houses I looked at didn't have a furnace. The prior owners said someone broke in and stole the furnace and central air unit!! Hmmm....

Tracy

Hi. Could you come nest at my house, plz?

Aimee

seriously - you're freaking me out. I've been crazy, let's fix this, let's do this for awhile. I better pee on a stick. :P

The comments to this entry are closed.