I...I DON'T KNOW. I JUST DON'T KNOW.
September 05, 2008
I just wrote an entire post about a brownie. A brownie that I artfully swiped from Noah's kiddie combo meal lunch, a brownie that he did not even know existed, and that I just ate in three bites within 30 seconds of putting him down for a nap.
And then it occurred to me that really, that one sentence right there? Was STILL more words than one should really write about a brownie, no matter how sad one is that the brownie is now gone and there are no more brownies. So I deleted the first post about the brownie, only to then write this post about the brownie.
I'm really good at this blogging thing, sometimes.
Also, I have now have brownie crumbs in my cleavage, and I appear to have spilled salsa on my belly in three different places.
And...
Um...
My cat is real pretty?
One time this happened?
And then one time Noah and I found a ladybug in the house and Noah really, really loved that ladybug and then I said it was time to send the ladybug home and I opened the window to put the ladybug out on the sill but then accidentally dropped the ladybug out the window and Noah looked at me like this because OMFG YOU KILLED DAT LADYBUG?
Yeah. So that's why a brownie seemed like a pretty interesting topic at the time.
(Dear Noah, I'm so, so sorry about the ladybug. I'm sure it's okay, unless I accidentally broke all its legs when I dropped it upside down first and then flipped it off the windowsill while attempting to help it, but you know I used to pick up caterpillars on our walks and let them climb around on my hands and arms for your amusement? I think that should buy me a little forgiveness here.)
(Also, remember that FInding Nemo taught us that toilets lead to the ocean.)
(Spiders freaking LOVE the ocean! It's true!)
Asher is obsessed with women's shoes. But I am ok with that, because the fact that he likes running around naked with a cape fashioned from a towel tied around his neck balances it out.
I think you really captured the essence of blogging here. ;)
That face! Makes me want to run out and find him some ladybugs.
Jasper (who's about two weeks younger than Noah and totally counting down to when he's three) has requested a ladybird (that's what us antipodeans call them) cake. So I bought the Freckles (they're little chocolate discs topped with hundreds and thousands) that go on the ladybird cake as it's spots because OH MY GOD let's just make the ladybird cake to stop the IWANLADYBIRDCAKEMAKETHELADYBIRDCAKEMAKEDELADYBIRDCAKENOOOOOWWWWWW
routine before my ears bleed.
And he and I? Ate the entire packet of freckles in about 1 minute 30 seconds.
So I realised pretty quickly, it wasn't about the cake at all, but the FRECKLES! I want the FRECKLES.
The end.
OMG. I know exactly where you ate, because I have been on a kick and have been there six times in the last two weeks. And EVERY time I steal Marielle's kid's meal brownie before she even knows it exists.
At least you're pregnant. I'm just a greedy pig. It's for the health of the kids!
the ladybug is fine. force = mass x acceleration. acceleration is gravity, so it's the same for the lady bug as it is for you...remember galileo dropping things off the leaning tower of pisa? the lady bug's mass is much much less than a human being's so if a human being has a chance of surviving the fall, the lady bug almost certainly did.
Max is an Uber Beauty. But in a totally masculine way.
Writer's block sucks, eh? I have a Very Important Post that I should have posted one to two weeks ago, and it is still sitting in Word as a bunch of random brainstormy sentences.
Also: Blogging is very weird such that I feel guilty because I have not yet posted the Very Important Post and my readers! They don't know my news! I am letting down all those people whom I have never met! (OK, it's not that many people. But still.)
And now my post about the horror of chocolate Skittles doesn't seem so irrelevant, because *hello* if Amy can write about brownies then chocolate Skittles are totally blog-worthy. Right? Right?
And now I want a brownie..
I'm really superbly busy at the office. Like unusually busy. but www.amalah.com always trumps. So hilarious!
OK. THIS is one of my favorite blogging posts by anyone, ever.
I feel like I'm inside someone else's head. (Is there a light switch in here?)
DEAR GOD WOMAN... what is WRONG with you? Posting the "tears-just-on-the-edge-about-to-spill-forth" picture of that little angel? I must put my foot down (gently, in case there's a ladybug under there). You are one CRUEL, CRUEL pregnant lady...
And for that, you must give me Max the Most Certainly Gorgeous-est Kitty. :)
Wait till you bury his first goldfish "at sea."
And would you like my brownie recipe? It is the most ass-kicking brownie recipe in all the world, and I say that with all due modesty.
So, wait. You ate a brownie with salsa? Girl.
I totally spilled salsa on my shirt in three places only yesterday and have not been pregnant in one year, two weeks and six days. Might have the belly of a pregnant woman, though. Jury's still out.
Personally, I love siamese cats. So, I'm good.
Also, I can recall in packing up my maternity clothes that not a single shirt made it through the last two months un-stained. And, the stains are all in that general upper-belly area. So, totally normal.
yay more cat!! I love him, he is so precious.
I hope Noah will heal from the ladybug trama, he is tough, so he should pull through!
see disney really does teach great life lessons! ha ha
I often find that I can distract my husband with mentions of how cute the cats are. Kudos to you.. well played! Oh.... and I live to read your blog everyday. L.O.V.E I.T.
Gorgeous kitty.
I have a similar pic only my son is wearing my faux alligator skin pumps.
Your son is even more gorgeous than the kitty. And, he does the pitiful look so perfectly.
Spiders love the ocean. Bahaha.
...going to make brownies now.
Um, ladybugs have wings. If it was dumb enough not to open them before it fell on the ground then it wouldn't be long for this predator filled world, would it?
My kitty and Max would have made byootiful lolcats. Mine is a cream colored version of Max.
Now I must address Noah -- The tear about to spill over? Heartbreaking.
As for you, the brownie? Way to go because I would totally have done the same thing. It's a mom's way of protecting her child from un-needed calories and sugar.
YEAH! Brownie bits for later!
Cleavage- the saving grace for chocolate fits!
Ladybugs fly.
My little sister and I once found a ladybug when we were touring an English castle. At one point, we lost it and insisted on going back to find it. Three rooms back, we found the ladybug. My dad is still amazed (twenty years later) that we found that thing.
God, Noah's EYES!! He is PRECIOUS!!
haha..thanks, you made me laugh!
Wait a sec.... does that mean your windows don't have screens on them?
Without window screens, I would be dead from West Nile and 10 other mosquito-borne illnesses.
You are LUCKY.
It takes a tremendous amount of skill to write something about nothing. I probably would have hung on to every word about that brownie. I'll bet it would have made me laugh, too. You're good like that.
I just looked at my own pregnant belly to compare stains, but wouldn't you know, I haven't spilled anything on it yet today! And I'm wearing a shirt that doesn't have any permanent grease spots! So I'm sitting here eating pizza, tempting fate. See? You're motivating me to go wild!
And those tears that haven't dropped yet...THOSE are the ones that kill me, every time. My son is particularly good at that. Then he hangs his head, slumps his shoulders, and walks slooowly out of the room, Not crying. It breaks my heart.
Spiders love to swim here, too.
Pregnancy cleavage....seems like everything I eat leaves a few crumbs in there. You haven't sunk really low till you EAT the crumbs!!
You should go have another brownie...it's ok.
Oh, man. One time I was outside with my formerly-foster/now-official sisters. Melanie found one of those fuzzy dandelion things; she decided that it a) looked like a spider and b) was named Petey.
We brought it inside, where she immediately dropped it on my dad's white carpet, where it disappeared. When I told her that I was sorry, but it looked like the fluffy thing was gone, she said "But I *loved* Petey!" with that same piteous face and the tears. Hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time. Luckily, I'm sure she's forgotten about it by now.
Your cat IS beautiful. I wish I had a blog so I could post the picture of my daughter at 18 months wearing a pair of my flowered (sexy flowers, not granny flowers) underwear with one hip pulled up over her shoulder. It was a fierce wedgie, and still makes me laugh and will when she's 18 too. She wears my shoes daily, so I had to go to underwear for laughs.
This is a very gratuitous comment, more for me than you, to talk about how cute and funny my kid is. Can you forgive me? I DO think your cat is beautiful.
OH AMY THAT PICTURE. Now I am making a similar face.
Your cat IS really pretty!
Poor almost-crying Noah!
This post is hysterical--I love it!
I steal my kids' chocolate chip cookies constantly and sad to say, I'm not even pregnant so don't feel bad about the brownie. or the ladybug for that matter. Just don't tell Noah that ladybugs are really boys.
This is a Classic Blog Post. It has everything - kids, food, and cats. *applause*
Your cat IS really pretty.
And in two days time he won't remember ANY of this.
Until of course, he's old enough to read uh, the blog
So, DESTROY the blog.
Kidding.
That look is devistating.
Lady bugs can fly... I'm sure the bug was like, oh, holy shit, I'm flying through the air, and then put his wings to use and was perfectly fine.
I mean, there are bugs that survive CRUSHING BLOWS from whatever flip flop is closest to me at the time, so I'm sure the ladybug lived through the drop.
No post about brownies is ever a mistake. mmm...brownies...
You are the most random woman in the world.
Spiders DO totally love the ocean! *nods* And ladybugs LOVE to be dropped out of windows! For sure.
And I really, really want some brownies now...
oh my gosh that last pic of Noah makes me demand that you take him to the nearest toy store and indulge him...do it!
I used to get that face for eating the brownie. Somehow that kid just knew. 've learned Since then.
Dude, my husband would have his close off in a flash if he heard I have brownie crumbs in my cleavage and salsa on my stomach. But alas, I don't even have cleavage, let alone brownie crumbs on hand.
Did you know that you can buy like a thousand *live* lady bugs on Amazon.com?
What's your address?
We call this stage of pregnancy "preg-tarded".
Oh, and @jenny bloggess, you can get the lady bugs at like Home Depot and/or Lowes, too. You can also get praying mantis' that will hatch out of their egg sac or whatever. It's cool. :-)
xo
b.
Mmmmm, brownies.
Okay, so this is really lame, but I've been reading your blog for years. Since I found it on Snarkywood...ages ago. And I simply can. not. get over how grown up Noah looks in that picture. I remember when he was a FETUS for chrissakes. He's such a little man now. I love it.
I don't know, brownies are just deserving of an entire post! You know what else is good? Kahlua brownies! Of course, you're off limits until the baby comes, but once you get the ok, I know you'll just go crazy over those brownies. :-)
Boy, you really *did* send that ladybug Home!!
Noah is so gorgeous, I can't stand it!
I was directed here by a Mommy Blog I stumbled upon who was upset by Twitter accusations that she had copied you in some way. So I had to come visit. Glad I did, you're a hoot. I'll be back to see what you've got when you're not obsessed with brownie! :-)
Max has totally sexy eyes in that shot. What a gorgeous kitty!!
And poor sad Noah. The ladybug is okay, preshus, we promise!! (And seeing tears in your baby's eyes TOTALLY rips your heart out, flings it to the ground and stops on it. Or at least, that's been my experience. Ahem.)