And the Village Burned to the Ground

This Post Took 75 Hours To Type

Today's Internet connection: up, down, down. Down again. Typing this from my iPhone, which is a whole heap of fun and fussy little tap tap taps. But I soldier on! To inform the Internet! That I am still pregnant and well! Although I appear to no longer have any appetite for burritos, as I learned first-hand today when I could only stare in disgust at the one food source that has sustained me and Baby Tivo lo these past eight months.

(Eight. I could have typed 8. My ingrained devotion to the AP Stylebook apparently knows no bounds.)

Noah and I both came down with colds this weekend, but I'm happy to report that my cold mysteriously healed itself first thing Sunday morning when Jason turned to me and suggested we take a trip to the Outlets (you know, Outlets as Proper Noun, because the bargains are just that hardcore) to look for that elusive coming-home outfit.

I found it at the Carter's outlet, after rejecting at least 15 other options for various really very insane reasons that even sounded insane to me as I was saying them out loud. Jason wanted a brown and green outfit that had a goddamned MOOSE on it and I said I was willing to buy it and take it home for further consideration (yeah, I was never, ever planning to really consider it.), because I was tired of sounding so crazy, but then I realized they were sold out of the matching hat. No moose hats! Oh well! (I did buy a onesie with the moose on it. I have nothing against moose, they just aren't...you know...sponge-worthy, so to speak.)

In the end I found my sweet little blue-ish sleeper in a teddy bear pattern, complete with a matching hat and a completely pointless sweater that I will force him to wear for at least one photo, because knowing my luck it will still be 95 fucking degrees the second week of October. And now all I have to do is resist cradling the empty outfit and/or carrying it with me to the supermarket for one more month if I'd like to pass for a somewhat sane human being.

And hey! I also got a sangria pitcher. And three new lighting fixtures for the house that Jason has to install immediately, because I can't rearrange the all the picture frames in the dining room until he does.

I think I have been typing this entry for seven hours now. And I still have not even STARTED to address my real main point and reason for even bothering to update at all, in the face of such connectivity challenges.

So! All of you lovely, lovely sweet people who have sent baby gifts: THANK YOU. You have really made the last few weeks just super-fun and delightful for all of us. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now here's the problem: quite a few things have arrived via third-party sellers instead of direct from Amazon, which means incomplete to downright non-existent sender info. A couple packages have arrived with no packing slip at all, while others have only included a first and last name that I haven't been able to match up with a blogger or commenter handle. It also appears that some of these third-party sellers are not including the gift notes that you may have typed out at Amazon. I've tried to email people a quick note to acknowledge that the gift arrived, but sometimes I've been unable to do even that. Now that I'm sitting down to write and mail actual paper thank-you notes, I'm missing a BUNCH of addresses. 

So...um, I don't know the tactful way to ask this, but if you have sent a gift that I have not emailed to thank you for (if I have, that means I have your address), could you maybe shoot me an email (amy AT amalah.com) and let me know what you sent and what your address is? I don't want to embarrass or stalk anyone -- I just want to send you a proper thank-you note, because you are as sweet as pie and I am just very touched by everyone who has sent something for the baby or Noah.

Oh my God, I have carpal tunnel in my fingertips. STOP TALKING, AMY. Nobody should ever type this much on a twee little mobile device. And I know as soon as I hit publish my Internet will suddenly come back on and then I will want to punch something in the face but my hands will be too weak and arthritic to punch anything in the face. And that will just be a shame.



Oh, come on! What baby doesn't want to come home with a big ole moose on their shirt? :)


Moose? Are we dissing squirrels?


I'm glad you didn't go with the moose coming home outfit. That might be more of a political statement than a newborn wants to make.


Moose? Really? Moose don't scream warm and cuddly new baby to me... Moose more make me think, run for your fucking life, it's a moose.

Maybe I just have an irrational moose fear.


Let me guess...you have Comcast cable? I know someone else whose internet connection has been up and down these past few days. Good luck getting it fixed.

bethany actually

If it were me, I would probably search high and low for the perfect outfit and then in two years look at the photos and think, "WTF? Why did I think *this* was perfect!?" I can't believe now that I used the carefully-selected photo I did for my daughter's birth announcements and can think of ten better newborn-era photos of her without even looking at an album.


all this from the phone! impressive!!!

can't freakin wait to see that outfit on your baby! yay


Props to the Seinfeld reference.


A moose once bit my sister.


Oh shit. Going home outfits? I totally forgot about that.

Gotta add it to the list of things I should be doing instead of baking.


Um, you know you can type something on a computer that isn't connected to the internet, and then transfer it to and upload it from a computer or device that is, right? You could use a flashdrive or a cd or an ipod or maybe your iphone can connect to your computer....


Yeah, I am voting that Jason bought the outfit as a political statement.


An email and a proper, paper thank you? You're making the rest of us look bad, Amy. Going home outfits are so sweet. They must be perfect!

Jessica K

I'm with you on the elusive coming home outfit...though I have till mid-November to find one. I'm leaning towards something from the Monkey line at Gymboree. Except....do I really want to encourage the monkey tendencies???


Hey Amy,
Our registry is also on Amazon and has a thank you list link attached to it. That should provide missing addresses if needed. We to also had things show up with no idea who they were from. Hope that helps.


Seriously!?!? All this from your iPhone? I can barely deal with typing more than two or three lines on mine.


Well, you could always dress up one of those fake babies (seen at http://www.channel4.com/video/my-fake-baby/index.html) in the outfit. Not sure if that'd make you more or less insane.

rachel beto

You either deserve some kind of medal or some kind of heavy medication for blogging from your phone. Maybe I'll phone in my own next post, just to stay competitive in the blogging world.


Yeah, unless you're naming your baby Bullwinkle, the moose has got to be saved for another day.


I brought my Nathan home on October 7th last year and it was 92 that day! In Columbus Ohio. So yeah, that sweater may not work out. I hope its 52 so you can use it!


This baby couldn't be born until our TV was moved into our family room and all of the kids' books were arranged prettily on a bookshelf in our living room. I would have crossed my legs had contractions started. So I completely get the whole light fixture thing.

The homecoming-outfit thing? That I don't obsess about, but understand,so- YAY! YOU FOUND THE OUTFIT!


I sent the most expensive gift that you love and could not live without and did not even know you wanted or could live without! Yeah um that was me....


Now I feel guilty for NOT having sent a gift - thanks, Amy!! And to add insult to injury, I must be the world's total worst mother because not only do I not remember AT ALL what I brought him home in (in my defense, it has been nearly 15 years!!), I do distinctly remember not really caring all that much.....after 23 hours and 40 minutes of labor, I was just happy that he was OUT!!! HALLELUJAH!!!! and that I could put anything on him at all. Furthermore, what I remember most about the totally sleep-deprived blur that was those first 2 months (at which point I went back to work) is that everything that I put on him got thrown up/spit up on, and ended up stained, no matter how cute it was. I hope Tivo has better manners than my son did. Oh, and thanks to Brian above for confirming the Seinfeld reference for me - I was 90% sure, but the confirmation reassured me that my memory isn't totally down the toilet......yet......


Why not have the baby wear the same outfit as your firstborn?

My mom did that with my sister and me and I did it with my two girls. It becomes a VERY special outfit that way and the side-by-side pics in the photo album are PRESHUS.

Plus, I only have to worry about NEVER, EVER losing one outfit. Because, you know, I'll need it to dress the doll I'll be cuddling nightly when I'm a weeping, lonely empty nester.

BTW, my girls rocked Ralph Lauren Layette pale-pink rosebud footed pajamas with a matching hat and blanket. I got it as a gift and just KNEW. This. Was. The. One.

I can't imagine the pressure of actually shopping For. The. One.


Why not have the baby wear the same outfit as your firstborn?

My mom did that with my sister and me and I did it with my two girls. It becomes a VERY special outfit that way and the side-by-side pics in the photo album are PRESHUS.

Plus, I only have to worry about NEVER, EVER losing one outfit. Because, you know, I'll need it to dress the doll I'll be cuddling nightly when I'm a weeping, lonely empty nester.

BTW, my girls rocked Ralph Lauren Layette pale-pink rosebud footed pajamas with a matching hat and blanket. I got it as a gift and just KNEW. This. Was. The. One.

I can't imagine the pressure of actually shopping For. The. One.


Uh, damn, I guess the first comment DID go through. I quickly retyped, trying to shorten it.

I think I like the second version more . . . about you?

: )

At least I wasn't typing it into an iPhone.

Jill (CDJ)

Um... I sent the Blue's Big Music Show DVD for Noah and Baby Brother to watch together. And I realize I may not have even signed my name. Hope they enjoy it as much as my boys do!


I sent the "Buy One, Get One Free"
Ivy League education coupons.

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

I am waaay too Europeanly -brought-up to send a gift until after the baby shows up.

Expect something then, but props to you for even thinking about sending thanks-yous. Most don't.


Greeeeeat! I haven't even thought of the "Coming Home" outfit.


I do have a sweet little hat and side snap tee with a little rosebud vine embroidered pattern along the edges for that first Hospital Photo!! So, I'm not a complete loser....am I?

And I wish you much luck in the "Thank You's" endeavor.


HI! I just wanted to say, i spent today reading all of your posts and i adore the site! Congrats on the soon to be second baby and the adorable Noah! Your site is witty and refreshing and just a joy to read!


Well congrats on finding the coming-home outfit... I know from previous posts this is a huge burden off your chest.


First, Jodi has a great idea and I wish I would have thought of that for my 3 boys. Also, can we PLEASE see the outfit you chose for Baby Tivo?


yeah, that one awesome gift that you loved? totally from me.


My name is Amy and I would have typed eight as well. Congratulations on your bundle of joy, and best of luck finding those sweet gifters. Well, I would have typed eight but I don't think gifters is a word...


Oh Amy, you always brighten my day. Here it is being all suckfesty, and they i see that look! amalah updated! WOOOOO!!! and then i see what u typed and am all wow, my day could totally have been worse, i could of had to type everything i wrote in an iphone!
...of course, actually owning an iphone would be awesome and make it worth it. hmm.


ccj - Yes, except that (brilliantly, of course) there's no copy-and-paste function on the iPhone, so no way to send a file to it and then copy into Typepad's mobile app.

K - Also brilliantly, I was too lazy to set up an actual registry on Amazon, but did a wish list instead (I wasn't expecting a shower, online or off!). So no nice thank-you feature OR free diapers or whatever Amazon is offering right now to people who register. Am dumb.

Jodi - That's what Jason kept suggesting (Noah's outfit was also a gift that I just KNEW immediately was The One), but the hat from Noah's outfit was accidentally ruined awhile ago and NO, I CAN'T JUST USE A DIFFERENT BLUE HAT THE FABRIC ISN'T THE SAME.

(I fully own the fact that I was being insane about this. Fully.)


I'm not sure exactly where you are in the DC Metro/Maryland area, but just wanted to let you know that there is an awesome Carter's outlet in Bailey's Crossroads in VA, which is just in a strip mall next to a bakery (and near a Babies R Us) that is full of stuff and never crowded and like a little gold mine in the midst of a strip mall. Totally worth the trip if you don't want to deal with the insanity that is the Outlets.


P.S. If you aren't familiar with VA, you probably have no idea where Bailey's Crossroads is. Falls Church/Arlington area.


omg - all the moose hate is breaking my heart.


Love the Seinfeld reference! Excellent work. Can't wait to see the new sweet coming home outfit!


You turned me on to the complete coming-home-outfit experience. So far, I've bought a green one with a little rocking horse on it (with matching socks, hat, blankie, and mitts) in size 0-3, and, just to be sure, a slightly bigger one (3, also in green, with a little dragon on it, plus matching hat.

We're green and classy in this here hovel.

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