Okay, okay. I've read the comments and while ya'll are just fascinated with the non-stop pregnancy talk, a bunch of you really want me to talk about my hair.
OH MY GOD! Bangs! Revolutionary, life-changing bangs!
I went back to a former stylist this weekend -- one who moved away and raised her prices and left me adrift in a sea of mediocre stylists who would examine my hair and listen to my requests and then proceed to cut yet another variation on Suburban Mom Does The Rachel -- and after examining my cut ("Eh.") and color ("Ew."), patted my head and promised to fix everything. And indeed, I can now put it up in an unwashed, stringy ponytail and have it not look like complete ass. I'm gonna look so totally awesome in my hospital photos! The bangs are sure to distract from the pothole-sized bags under my eyes! My body will look like a loaf of bread that got bagged under the milk and four cans of SpaghettiO's but hot damn, my highlights are RADIANT.
Anyway. I think I have some furniture to rearrange, or something. Plus I'm hoping to talk Jason into taking me Ikea tonight for some Storage Solutions. I really, really need some Storage Solutions. And it's been entirely too long since I broke down into hysterical hex-key-related sobbing.
If I were a Swedish piece of furniture I think I'd call myself the Blobtörpt.