one-handed obit
(you don't want to know the faces & sound effects that were required for this post)

Ezra's Birth Story

Preparing for a scheduled c-section is a lot like preparing for a long, cross-country trip. Or maybe a trip to the moon. The days beforehand are a blur of lists and packing and obsessing about the lists and packing. And dusting and laundry and the state of your toenails.

The conflicting information you get from the hospital and your doctor's office feels like the airport keeps changing your departure gate on you. Bloodwork two days before! no, 24 hours! No, the day of the surgery! You need a doctor's note! No, you don't! No food or drink after midnight! Water is okay! No, it's not! Only there's no Expedia confirmation email to cling to, just a nurse whose name you didn't catch on the other end of the phone.

I'd gotten the pre-op bloodwork done on Tuesday and was outfitted with an assortment of hospital bracelets. Jason's mother had gone with me -- she was terrified that I was going to faint if I went alone, I was just terrified of getting lost inside the hospital -- and then that night she insisted we go out for one last dinner out, sans child, pre childREN.

For the first time in oh, NINE MONTHS, I was able to enjoy a meal without nausea or heartburn or a never-ending parade of violent food aversions. I ate crab bisque, a gigantic steak and a whole goddamn slice of cheesecake -- order your own, husband -- looking for all the world like an escaped mental patient, what with the hospital bands, giant belly and pathetic attempt to "dress up" in high heels at ninety hundred months pregnant.


My surgery was scheduled for 2 pm. We were to arrive at the hospital at noon. I woke up at 6 am.

I wandered down the hall to Noah's room and crawled into bed with him. He was in a sweetly tired good mood -- we sang songs and cuddled and talked about Baby Brother Day. I'd long since given up on trying to wrap my mind around the fact that the baby inside me was just hours away from being born, that he was done and complete and HIMSELF, whoever that was, so I don't imagine that morning's conversation did anything to really help prepare Noah, either.

I didn't realize, though, that it would be the very last time I would ever look at Noah and see a baby, or anything resembling a baby. His round belly and chubby cheeks seemed to vanish that day -- by the time I saw him again 12 hours later he would turn into a long and lean little boy, all arms and legs, shockingly mature-looking and huge.


Around 7:30 am I noticed that Jason had forgotten to take one of our recycling bins to the curb the night before. Our bottles and cans and plastic containers were piled high -- by next week we'd be drowning in them, for sure. I heard the trucks revving around the corner and glanced out the window -- our neighbors' bins were still there and upright and full! We could still make it! And so I dashed out through our backyard in my pajamas and slippers, lugging the bin at an awkward angle below and to the side of my massive belly, out to the curb where I dumped it, practically hyperventilating from the effort and the rush of adrenaline that one can only get from very barely getting your trash out in time for collection, knowing that you are now free to go have a baby in peace, because OH THANK GOD THE RECYCLING IS TAKEN CARE OF.


We stopped at Panera on the way to the hospital so Jason could eat lunch. He wasn't particularly hungry -- he was trying to prepare himself for the bloody surgery sights ahead, but I insisted he eat something so he wouldn't faint. Again, with the fainting. I woefully watched him eat a salad until my hunger took over and I rebelliously ate a few pea-sized bits of his whole wheat baguette, rationalizing that I certainly hadn't fasted this long before my previous c-section, what with going into labor right after dinner and all, and besides, I've never gotten nauseous from anesthesia before, I'll be fine.



Img_0136 There were vending machines in the hospital waiting room. I sat and glared at them, then glared at the book I brought but was entirely too keyed up to read, then watched the Showcase Showdown on The Price Is Right. ("$35,000 for the non-car showcase? Oh my God, what an IDIOT.") Jason called a roofer while we waited, and I laughed at him. ("DRILL BIT! IN OUR FUCKING ROOF!") He retaliated by getting a cup of coffee from the fancy little pod machine nearby.

A nurse appeared and called my name. "Let's get this started!" she said brightly.


And so, we got started, in the same room, in the same BED, where I'd started my labor with Noah.

"Oh my God," I said, when the nurse led me to the corner bed in the triage/recovery room. "This is where I labored with my son. There weren't any empty rooms, so I was right here, in this bed."

"Huh, how about that," she said, not nearly as impressed with this as I was.


Img_0102 I was hooked up to an IV and monitors and told the general game plan. Two bags of fluid, 30 minutes of baby monitoring, and then basically waiting for my doctor and the anesthesiologist to show up.

At this point, I was still essentially waiting for something to come and derail the whole thing. My doctor getting called to an emergency at another hospital, another mother needing the operating room before me, lost bloodwork, lost luggage, hours of circling the tarmac, SOMETHING.

The minutes ticked by. I asked Jason for the time over and over again. I shifted in the bed, as much as I could without disturbing the monitors, remembering how uncomfortable I'd been last time; how terribly unsuited these beds were for the heft and weight of a full-term pregnant woman being forced to lie on her back. Without the rise and fall of contractions, there was nothing to focus on except the waiting, the boredom.

My impatience immediately turned to panic when my doctor appeared around the curtain, dressed in his surgical scrubs. No, no, no. This isn't right. I should go home. Wait for labor. Wait to make sure he's ready. How terrible we are, joking about ugly hospital hats, getting ready to go slice me in half and yank this poor baby out without any warning. All the fears and worries I'd mashed down over the previous months rose to the surface -- that study I'd read about mothers not bonding with their scheduled c-section babies, the impact of skipping labor on breastfeeding and milk production, hemorrhaging, nicked organs, the invisible army of people judging this choice as unnecessary and wrong and selfish.

Luckily, my mini-anxiety-fest was cut abruptly short by the arrival of the anesthesiologist. My doctor sat down in a chair and cracked jokes with Jason while the nurses removed the monitors and the anesthesiologist asked me a few questions and the whole room seemed downright jovial -- it reminded me, bizarrely enough, of that feeling I used to get backstage before the start of a play, back when I acted in high school and college drama productions. It's a weird batch of nerves and excitement, topped off with the confidence that you've rehearsed and performed your lines a million times before, and that really, this is no big deal.


An emergency c-section takes about five minutes. I don't really remember much about it, even though I was just as awake and aware when it was happening. The decision was made and it was like hitting the fast-forward button on the remote.

ShaveScrubsHallwayOperatingRoomTableDrapeFussingPressureBaby. Done.

This time I walked into the operating room, clutching the back of my gown while a nurse wheeled the IV pole. I hopped up onto the table and prepared myself for the spinal -- another irrational source of anxiety, since I'd had an epidural late in the game last time and found it to be just downright FABULOUS, but since I was in such terrible, terrible pain the whole "needle in your spine" thing was not really high on my priority list. This time I was not in pain, not in labor, not really excited about getting jabbed in the back with a huge fucking needle.

My doctor held my hand and put his arm around my shoulders while the needle went in. I don't know why, but I found this little routine gesture to be enormously comforting, and after the slightest stinging sensation, the needle was in.


The set-up time for a scheduled c-section is ridiculous, or at least seems that way. It was full of little luxuries that you don't get in an emergency, like an inflatable heated blanket over your arms and chest, endless fine-tuning of your anesthesia, and the somewhat maddening puttering around by nurses and doctors, doing God knows what while you lay naked and spread on the table, listening to conversations about your doctor's ruptured appendix and the multiple misdiagnoses and medical incompetence he encountered before it was discovered.


Img_0106 The anesthesia kicked in and swallowed me up. I disliked it intensely. While the epidural was a blessed relief last time, to go from feeling just fine and dandy to heavily drugged and numb and not quite in control made me uncomfortable -- a reminder of why I was such a big dork in college, someone who thought pot was just a little too intense of a high and who always turned down the chance to try anything stronger.

I thought about those bites of bread a few hours before and regretted them terribly. My nerves were churning and I felt floaty and disconnected and the sensation was weirdly oppressive. Jason was allowed in and he sat next to me, trying and failing to find my hand under the inflatable heater. I stared right at him and gritted my teeth and ordered myself to STOP LOSING YOUR SHIT AND GET A GRIP. RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

I think I admitted to him, in the barest little whisper so no one else would hear, that I was really, really scared.

"Do you feel that, Amy?" my doctor asked. I had no idea what "that" was, so I said no. And with "that," the surgery began.

It seemed like it took forever, although the official birth time suggests that I was in the operating room no longer than 24 minutes before Ezra made his appearance. But oh, it felt so much longer. So much tugging and pulling and the absolutely crazy-weird feeling of being cut open -- seriously, feeling every sensation of the scalpel dragging across your skin, except for the sensation of PAIN. My doctor said something about me not having any fat on my body and how I'd managed that, but I wasn't sure how to respond to that since I wasn't entirely sure he was talking to me.

I stared at the ceiling and waited. And waited. Jason occasionally peeked over the drape -- the mere thought of what he was seeing made me feel like throwing up, and I kept closing my eyes and shaking my head, indicating that I didn't want to know.

And then, a cry.

"OH!" I gasped, and let out a shuddery cry of my own.

His first cry came before he was even all the way out, before that official time of birth, leaving no questions about his maturity and readiness to be born. His next cries were louder, indignant little squawks. Jason stood up, anxiously trying to get glances of him, snapping a few illegal photos of him as he was pulled from the carnage (we were told by the hospital not to take photos or video of the actual surgery). He told me he was smaller than Noah.

I kept waiting to hear his weight. I heard someone say something about "eight, nine" and assumed that was it -- that was about right, smaller than Noah, but still big enough to make the c-section a good idea.

Img_0116 I was waiting for justification.

But the "eight, nine" were his APGAR scores, not his weight.

Seven pounds, seven ounces. I was stunned.   

"I could have delivered that?" I said to Jason, half-whispering, half-questioning. But Jason was off taking pictures, getting ready to hold him and bring him back to me.

"He's so little!" Jason said, clearly delighted by this new species of baby we had. An honest-to-God newborn-sized newborn. "But he still looks a lot like Noah."

And then I saw him. He was little, tiny, perfect. Like Noah, but entirely unique and delightfully himself already. I fought to get my arm free from the stupid inflatable thing and succeeded, and touched his round, squishy little face. I slid my fingers under his hat to see his matted downy hair and stroked his rosebud mouth and pulled Jason's arm down so I could kiss him over and over and over.

And it hit me, again, in a palpable, overwhelming rush. Motherhood. Love. Just an explosion of it, pulling me out of my anesthetized fog instantly, forgetting immediately the strange, almost-mechanical circumstances of the birth, the what-ifs and the pros and cons of VBAC and surgery, forgetting that this birth was any different than Noah's birth, that it was any different from ANY birth, because how different could it be, when it has the same wonderfully perfect ending?

My baby, my son, my everything I ever wanted, all over again.




So sweet!!

RookieMom Heather

I love it. I love the name. Congratulations all over again.


Thanks for sharing! I had a c-section and remember so little, but I bet I would remember and tell everyone if the lack of fat on my body was discussed!


What an awesome birth story. Is it dusty in here? I think there's something in my eye...

As for getting an epidural/spinal when you're not havog contractions, I have done it four times now (two cerclages, two births) and you described it right on. You go from normal to what-the-hell-I-can't-feel-my-body in about 3 seconds. Very weird sensation.

I also agree about the older no longer looking like a baby anymore after the new one comes along. I remember staring at Jack thinking "Holy shit, he is going to eat Emmie. He's HUGE."


Well gee, that was just so sweet, so beautifully sweet


Tearing up, makes me want to have number 3 via c section!



Ohhh. So perfect.


Beautiful. Perfect.

Except this one little thing. Somehow your awesome friend who brought you Halloween cupcakes didn't make the birth story.


Awww, how beautiul. Makes me anxious for the next 8 weeks or so to go by so I can hold my own baby.

Thank you for sharing. :)

jive turkey

I'm crying at work. Not cool, man.


This is wonderful... what a great story. Ezra is beautiful, Amy.

This is salve to my guaranteed-a-section-next-time soul... you have calmed so many of my fears here. Thank you.


Perfect and beautiful. You made me relive my daughter's birth, while only 7 months ago, it seems like ages. You described exactly how I felt that day, only you did it better than I ever could. Congratulations again on your beautiful family.

Hey You

Awesome, Thanks for remembering so much! My birth story was more like erm, It hurt? His head was big, I had c-section. There was a baby, I loved him, the end.

samantha jo campen

THIS is why reading blogs at work is a bad idea. Because I'm TOTALLY crying.

Congratulations again. Wonderful, just wonderful.


So great, just perfect!

Forever Amber

Wonderful, wonderful story, Amy -all teary eyed here too!


another magnificent birth story which made me get all teary at work :)


Great story, beautiful baby.

Isn't it funny that whether they're seven pounds or ten pounds, they're still all plump and squishy?


How lucky your boys are.


awe!!! so sweet! I am crying like a loon in my office now! totally to be blamed on the PG hormones :)

What a great birth story, thank you for sharing!

Ohhhh I can't wait till its my turn :)


again, with the crying. your story is beautiful. thank you for finding the time to share it. i so hope to have that experience some day...
congratulations on your little guy!


Thank you for that, as I read your story I got to remember both of my girls births. There is no other sound better than that first cry. All the fears, worries, pain, is all worth it for that moment when you become a parent.


Wow. I admire your courage to go through all of this. Happy Birthday (again), Ezra!


Great writing as usual.


Awwww. Great story. thanks for sharing. Babies are wonderful, however they arrive.


I love him already. What a beautifully written memory. I can't wait to meet him!!

Miss Britt

This was so, so worth the wait.


Wonderful story. I love the vignettes at the top ...



It probably isn't a worry anymore, but as for this: "that study I'd read about mothers not bonding with their scheduled c-section babies?" I'm the result of a scheduled c-section, and at 25 years of age, my mother is still one of my closest friends.

Congratulations on your beautiful boys.


Thank you so much for this. I'm scheduled to go in Sunday night to start an induction to give birth to my first. I was disappointed by having to do this because it wasn't how I expected things to go. This post made me realize that my expectations don't matter - a healthy, beautiful baby is all we need to worry about.




Surreal, isn't it?

First was nearly 10lbs, second, just under 8lbs. My first wasn't an emergency C, but unplanned (once they found out how big he was, I wasn't allowed a choice.)

My three year old was immediately HUGE!

I think you did the right thing for you and your family by having the C. No one is in your shoes and can know what is right for you!

Congratulations on the adorableness that is Ezra!


Great story. Worth the wait. The baby, too.

(You know, you should write for a living!)

Jen L.



God, this just made me cry so hard. It doesn't help that I've been trying to conceive for a year now and am in the dreaded two week wait. Congratulations Amy, Ezra is so beautiful, you guys are such a cute little family.


Ooh the tears, the flowing pregnant hormone filled tears! So glad he is a healthy little sweetie! Congratulations- again!


So sweet, thank you so much for sharing!

However. This? "I didn't realize, though, that it would be the very last time I would ever look at Noah and see a baby, or anything resembling a baby." is going to have me crying every time I look at my 3 year old for the next FOUR MONTHS.

Amy H

tears. lovely story. It reminds me of my scheduled c-section with my son (my second child) who was also smaller (by 2 pounds) than my first that was an unscheduled c-section.

you have such a way with your words. I felt like you were telling my story, but so much better than I ever could have.


Too perfect...I am bawling my eyes out...probably shouldn't have read this 3 days before my repeat c-section (like you, the first was an emergency). You have given me a good report of what to expect.


Nurses are so important, and any tender gesture really does make a world of difference, doesn't it? I found that with my 3 c-sections, too. The weirdness is brought back to realities by the tiniest niceties offered. Comforting gestures make the world recognizable again, despite the druggy haze.


That was beautiful Amy.


I've bee having the "are we done yet?/we're done" kid conversation in my head for the past year. This kicks it back into the field of the former. He is beautiful. Just absolutely, wonderfully beautiful.



Oh Amy, how wonderful. Congratulations all over again on your amazing son and an incredible birth.

Clueless But Hopeful Mama

Crying. A lot. (I blame your beautiful words. And my pregnant, hormonal self.)

So lovely. Thank you.


I feel totally ashamed that in the midst of your beautiful birth story I was SO excited to see you had been reading the Sookie Stackhouse books! I'm a little obsessed with them right now...but I'm trying to stay on topic here. Thank you for putting the birth story! I've been reading your blog since you were about 6 months pregnant with Noah, and it's been a pleasure to watch your journey. Many blessings.


That was so beautiful. And it felt very familiar. I had the same experience with the first being an emerg c-section and the second a planned section. Except I went into labour about 12 hours before I was scheduled to be cut open. So I was kind of labouring throughout the night and we ended up having the surgery a few hours earlier than scheduled. But the labour wasn't really awful at all - so different than my induction with the first. But I experienced the same anxiety - it was so much different than the emergency one. I had so much time to feel nervous and despite not eating anything, I barfed and barfed while they were operating on me when I hadn't done that the first time at all. Probably because I was high as a kite at the time. :)


Amy...thank you for sharing your beautiful story! Ezra and Noah are so lucky to have you as their mom...

tracey b

That was well worth waiting for. I am so happy for you!!


such a sweet story with a happy ending:)


Lovely story, lovely baby, you made me cry at work.

But I may never forgive you for no body fat.


Beautiful, beautiful story! Motherhood rules!


Thank you for that. I don't have children, but reading your post made me feel like I've experienced it. I was in tears by the end.


Hooray for you! And for Ezra, of course. I just love his name...


Oh, that was a wonderful story! It made me tear up (almost on the verge of tears running down my cheeks). And what a handsome little man you have now.


The tears. They just won't stop.

Thanks for sharing Ezra's story with us.


I've taken the anti-scheduled-c-section stance before, but I'm really trying to not be judgmental and stay open minded. Beautiful stories like this make that easy. Thank you for this wonderful read and congratulations on a lovely birth and gorgeous baby.


You make me laugh so much, and then every once in a while you make me cry. You are really an excellent writer.


If I may be so forward, you're *so pretty* in your pictures. I've never seen such a lovely hospital patient, despite the ridiculous shower cap.


Such a great story! And Ezra is just so beautiful.


"...because how different could it be, when it has the same wonderfully perfect ending?

My baby, my son, my everything I ever wanted, all over again."





Amy, you described this so perfectly. I too had a scheduled c-section after an emergency c-section, and the differences were amazing to me. You were able to say it in a way much more descriptive than "amazing differences."

I read you all the time, but NEVER comment. but I had to say thanks for letting me relive the memories of the births of my children. I feel really happy right now, and at peace with my decision to have a third, despite the half hour of excruciating anxiety I felt during my second delivery (OH THE WAITING!!!!!). Um. Thank you again. I'm going to go cry happy tears now.


Thanks so much for sharing! I'm scheduled for my 2nd c-section 3 weeks from tomorrow and it was great to read about your experience. Congratulations!!


Absolutely lovely.


oh, oh, OH. I loved this story. my next baby will be a scheduled c-section (after two emergency sections) and I'm so nervous about the whole walking into the OR. I'm not even pregnant yet, but it pops into my mind randomly. Glad to hear everything turned out so very well :-)


Absolutely beautiful! Thank you for sharing you life with us. Congratulations again and welcome to the world Ezra.


Totally brought me back in time nine months to Dylan's birth. What a well-told story, and a joy to read.


Seriously, one of the BEST birth stories I've ever read. I felt like I was right there and I totally cried when you met Ezra! Congratulations!


That was a beautiful birth story! I got a little teary at the two parts--when Noah was no longer looking like a baby, and when Ezra is everything that you wanted all over again. Sniff. Sniff.

Jessica (aka @kikarose)

All so familiar to me. At least mine was early in the morning so I didn't have to deal with the starving part. But I did get the post op morphine nausea...
My surgeon commented on my "great abs" after slicing me open. Most surreal moment ever.


What a great story... you made me cry too.


absolutely beautiful. :) i can only hope and pray that i attain what you have with your boys in this lifetime. this whole concept of conceiving and birth is apparently something my body doesn't want to do, at all, no, not ever, absolutely not. (but ok, i'm cool with it, maybe.) your boys are gorgeous, absolutely beautiful, and things like this? only make me smile, and yearn.

p.s. no body fat? are you serious? god, you really have it all. ;)


Beautiful. Isn't it amazing how you really can't prepare for the changed perspective you have on your first born? Suddenly, your baby is a kid...a big, huge kid. I cherish the memories I have of my time with my first before my second, but of course I love the memories we make all together now as well.

Mariana Perri

Goosebumps and tears... afff... brought back all the feelings I had when I first saw my little girl!

Lisa M

Beautiful birth story, Amalah. I loved when you described the pre-birth setting as backstage of a play...that's exactly what it felt like, but I would have never thought of the comparison.
I went from jitters to almost panic during all the prep, but somehow, once they started the c-section, I got calm. At that point it was inevitable, and I was only moments away from meeting Luke.
Thanks (as always) for sharing.


Aaaand the tears are a-flowing. Damn post-partum hormones.

Tammy King

Perfect. I want another baby right this instant.


Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story. I am 36 weeks pregnant and had a previous c section. The decision to try for a VBAC has been difficult and scary. But when I hear stories like yours and Ezra's I can understand that it is not the method, but the outcome that is really important...


Aww, what a great story. Thanks for sharing, and congratulations again!


I teared up a little at work. Good story. Thank you.


I think it's absolute crap that there's this stigma and judgement attached to having a C-section. Only YOU and your family can know what is right for you. Lovely story.

I know I was a C-section baby. I turned out just fine. My mom couldn't have done it any other way because she was just too little for natural childbirth, according to her OB (who BTW performed maybe two C-sections a year). And as a result, she got to have her two little girls, other peoples' opinion be damned. IJS.

Ezra is so handsome. Congrats.


Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing your life with us.


oh my god, I am sobbing. I had an emergency c-section almost 23 years ago after 30 hours of labor, then 7 years later, had a planned c-section with boy #2. you just wrote the entire birth story for my second child. I secretly felt horrible that I knew I would never love him as much as my first, but the minute he was born I wondered how we had ever survived without him.


You probably won't get to this, but...
My favorite spinals for c-sections are on women who are already laboring-- instead of the "ew, I'm stone dead numb-- this feels scary and uncomfortable", there is a "Thank god the pain stopped I feel so much better". I think part of it may be all the endorphins from the labor versus coming in from home all nervous and hungry.
The longest part of the c-section is, as far as I can tell from watching, is those moments up to when the baby cries. After that, it doesn't seem to matter as long as mom can see/ hear the baby.
Which is to say, I suppose, that your experience was very similar to the gals I've seen here in the 'burg.
Props for not vomiting-- you're a c-section viking!


Perfect post, Amy. Just perfect.


Now that Ezra's here, it's so easy to question whether or not a VBAC would have been feasible, but you had to make the decision long before his birth day, and you and your doctors did the best that you could with the information you had. I'm sure it's not a concern anymore, but I had to throw that out there.

Also, my Kara turns 11 months old on Monday, and I'll give birth to her brother in February. It's hard to imagine *not* looking at her as a baby when she's still so young, but I know it'll happen, and it makes me so sad.

Lastly, I'll be having a planned c-section, too, and I'm glad to hear the process of getting the spinal isn't all that bad. I've heard they're worse than epidurals (thank you, sister-in-law), and I'm already freaking out!


Oh Amy what a beautiful story.

I just want to tell you, I had 4 CS's - the first emergency like you, the next three elective for various reasons as well as pelvic insufficiency. And I want you to know, that the lingering questions of "could I have done it "properly" stil always hover in my mind from time to time. And from time to time I remember as well that clinical and detached sense of "we're having a baby", the discomfort and strangeness of hands rooting in my body. The anxiety and the chilly sense of how scary the surgery is.

But only from time to time. The rest, the other 99% of the time, I remember that rush of hearing my babies' coughs whilst still inside my belly, that sucking sensation of them emerging, the stomach-swooping sight of them over the screen, and then that indescribable moment of perfect awe as they were brought up to my face for the first time. And that overwhelming shock of instant recognition.

My baby. My whole life. This everything that I was waiting for, just beginning.

Life is so beautiful.

Enjoy your two precious boys. What more is there to say?



Beautiful. You are such an awesome writer. I just wrote out my daughter's birth story a few days ago and now it sounds like crap. Thanks a lot. :-P


Okay, when you sleep someday, give the Charlaine Harris vampire series another try. Because they're fantastic. Very different from the series, but quirky-cool.


Beautiful story, and not surprisingly similar to my 2nd c-section (following an emergency c-section). The 2nd was long, uncomfortable and heavily drugged out for me too. (Only I threw up a million times after the birth!). Same wonderful happy ending. You're right, as soon as the baby is there none of the other stuff matters. Thanks for sharing.


Oh, I love the details. I can totally relate to your description of the c-section, having gone through an emergency c-section myself for my son (born 10/1, 7 lbs 6 oz). Question: when did you find time to write all this?!!
You've inspired me to (somehow, some way, some day...) write my son's birth story (because I DO want those details written down before they are lost).


I've been waiting for you to write this! What a great story -- and why aren't you fat?:) I was getting so nervous...the suspense was building, as if I thought at the end you might not have actually had a baby. But you did and it was great! I just got married and am now officially terrified to go to a hospital to ever deliver a child!:) Also, I had no idea that C-sections could be so controversial. As long as you and your baby are healthy and happy that's all that matters:)


I feel so lucky that you've shared this story with everyone. You tell it so beautifully and I feel as if I'm right there as I read it. One thing though? THANKS. A LOT. I'm bawling like a baby over here because my second son will be born in about 9 weeks. Our sons are the same distance in age and this just made things (yet again!) shockingly real for me. Your ezra posts seem to do that every time. I'm terrified about my baby no longer looking like my baby. I'm not ready for him to suddenly be a big big boy and a big big brother. At the same time though, I'm so very excited for this new little love to enter into our lives. It's quite strange, being torn in two directions this way. Thankyou so much for the reassurance that I can love this new one just as well as his older brother. I can't even TYPE "older brother" without tearing up again! ACK!

Gray Matter

Gulping, sobbing, so touched. And your story reminds me once again why you are one of the best mommy bloggers out there. I loved this. Especially the pictures.


I don't know you, although I feel that I do.

I am sitting here crying because I am remembering the emergency c-section I had to deliver my twin girls, emergency only in that it occurred 17 days before my scheduled one, when the girls decided they just could not wait any longer.

It plays out in my head like I'm watching the trailer for a movie. I get some key scenes, know the players and the plot, but the small details aren't there.

But you've captured so many of those details, not to mention the incredible feelings, and brought them back to me, sitting here in my house.

Congratulations on the birth of your newest son. And thank you for this post.


Beautiful story! I read it right before leaving for work and then was misty-eyed all the way there.

What a sweet baby!


Oh, that's the best scheduled csection birth story I've ever read. That's saying something because I wrote three of my own. Congrats again.


Getting prepped for surgery IS SUPER SCARY, even if it's planned (maybe even more so in that case) and even if it's expected to go smoothly. You were a big, brave trooper!

Congratulations again, what a beautiful story!


Tears in my eyes. Ugh. I just went through this same thing 9 months ago and I could feel the spinal as you were describing it. *shudder* But then. . .the baby part and here come the tears again. So sweet.


Oh I'm all teary. Granted it doesn't take much these days since I'm pregnant, but still......tear....

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