Not Ezra's Birth Story

Housekeeping Not Involving My House

Honestly, I could do an entire photo essay about nothing more than the various large, gaping holes in my walls and ceilings at this point. There are at least seven of them, and I am getting better at ignoring them every day. It's like hands-free breastfeeding. It just takes practice.

Anyway. Website housekeeping! Exactly the kind of post everybody hates, but please. I just had a baby. I bought clothes and diapers for a linebacker and gave birth to a peanut. I thought the two Miracle Blankets we received as gifts (thank you Michael and Amy!!) would be enough but now! I know! You can never have enough Miracle Blankets! Miracle Blankets are a gift from God himself! The gift of sleep and silence and showers -- all in a miraculous blanket form!

I came into the bedroom this morning to find the dog sleeping on our LAST! CLEAN! MIRACLE BLANKET! and I nearly killed her right then and there, but then I remembered that Ezra is our second child, and that I could maybe use the lint roller on the blanket instead of rewashing it, but then I couldn't find the lint roller and just sort of shook it out real vigorously for a minute before reswaddling His Delicate Preshusness.

Wait. I was not coming here to write anything today. Was I? No. I was not. I was coming here to say:

  • HOWEVER, lest you think that I have just been laying around eating Halloween candy for close to three weeks now while I let other people care for my Internet Empire, I somehow got talked into writing stuff over at this site for Luvs. It's a once-a-week thing for two months, and I'm supposed to write about valuable tips to help save you money and time. Which is probably not my forte, since it is currently 11:41 am and all I have managed to accomplish is four nursing sessions, two cups of coffee, seven emails and adding fourteen more Miracle Blankets to my Amazon cart. Miracle Blankets that I CANNOT PAY FOR, UNLESS YOU VISIT THE LUVS SITE AND LEAVE COMMENTS AND YOU WOULD IF YOU LOVED ME! WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME? IS IT THE CAPS LOCK SCREAMY THING? IS IT?
  • Ahem. My money-saving tip for this week involves stealing shit from the hospital. Free maxipads, people! Shove one package in your suitcase and pretend you used them all! And then they'll bring you ANOTHER PACKAGE!

  • You are welcome.

  • (I really have been eating a lot of Halloween candy.)


  • (He also really does love the Miracle Blanket. Usually.)