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October 2008
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December 2008

Preschool is the new KHAAAAAAANNNN!

Oh, goddammit. We're all sick again. I'm not sure a six-week-old with a cold is any more or less pathetic than a three-week-old with a cold, but I do know that they are a hell of a lot more indignant about it. Our Thanksgiving plans have been jettisoned, what with illness striking down every branch of our family tree. (My mother seems to think she needs to protect the baby from her own case of the flu -- it's kind of adorable that she doesn't realize that it's actually US who are the traveling band of pestilence, sent from the... Read more →

Of Sleep & Germs & Filler

So the baby has started sleeping SIX ENTIRE HOURS at night. SIX. Two whole nights in a row, this has happened, and two whole nights I have watched those six hours slip away, utterly wasted, as I've remained wide awake for one reason or another. Firstly, no one informed my boobs of the new schedule, so Saturday night was a blurry combination of soggy pajamas and sheets and moments of PANIC PANIC THE BABY IS SURELY DEAD PANIC. Secondly, Noah is sick again. Up all night with a hacking cough, all moist and sneezy, home from school today, and DEAR... Read more →

Let Your Guilt Flag Fly

Oh my God, yesterday's post. I'm sorry. I fully own up to the fact that the last paragraph in particular got COMPLETELY away from me, with the dramatics and the...well, the dramatics. I went out to lunch with my nursing bra unhooked and I posted on my blog with my mommy guilt showing. Same diff. Kind of. Look, I plead sleep deprivation, both for the entry and that metaphor there. So I was rehashing the entry a few hours later while nursing the baby (That's what I do while I breastfeed. I think about my blog. And drool. And hallucinate... Read more →

Oh, just...BAH

First, the insanity report: I took both boys to the doctor's office today for check-ups. Approximately seven hours later I emerged from the little exam room, only to smack face-first into a wall, probably from a combination of plunging blood sugar* and the disorientation that comes right after one loses one's soul, as mine flew out the window sometime around the moment right after both boys had their meaty thighs stabbed with needles and started screeeeeeeeeeaming and screeeeeeeeeeeeeeaming and I figured WHAT THE HELL, LET'S BREAK SOME FACIAL BONES WHILE WE'RE AT IT. *My plans to eat lunch before the... Read more →

Memory Cards

So you know that thing about second babies and how you never take as many photos of them and then one day you're forced to explain why their baby book makes it appear that they left the hospital and went straight to kindergarten? I hate to admit that it's mostly true, even for us crazy obsessive blogger types, who should AT LEAST be motivated by the occasional writer's block to pick up the camera. (Liiiiiike, saaaaay, YESTERDAY? HMMM?) I initially had a brilliant, sappy-as-all-get-out hypothesis about why I have trouble remembering to take photos every day -- listen to this,... Read more →

(you don't want to know the faces & sound effects that were required for this post)

Come ON, baby. Smile! Show the nice people how you totally smile sometimes! Seriously. I have 539 photos of this exact same expression already. Please? Wait! Is that? That's it! Keep going! SMILING HE'S SMILING HIT CAMERA BUTTON FASTER QUICK OMFG HE'S SMILING AND... Okay. He's done. (That was easily the most exciting five seconds of my entire day.) Read more →

Ezra's Birth Story

Preparing for a scheduled c-section is a lot like preparing for a long, cross-country trip. Or maybe a trip to the moon. The days beforehand are a blur of lists and packing and obsessing about the lists and packing. And dusting and laundry and the state of your toenails. The conflicting information you get from the hospital and your doctor's office feels like the airport keeps changing your departure gate on you. Bloodwork two days before! no, 24 hours! No, the day of the surgery! You need a doctor's note! No, you don't! No food or drink after midnight! Water... Read more →

one-handed obit

here lies amy she was run over by a train the sleep deprivation express (station stops at 1:10, 3:35, 5:01, 6:30 and 8:04 am) she is squished very flat now and smells like baby vomit she may have possibly recovered except there was no coffee there was only a baby who would not ever no way not even nuh uh don't even think about it tolerate being put down in a swing in a sling in a crib with a bib on a couch nestled next to my leg seriously oh my god I'm RIGHT HERE and oh look it's... Read more →

The Tuesday Redirect

So my maternity leave officially ends this week, all around. Just in time for all our family to depart and for me to suddenly be thrust into solo double-hammer-time parenting for the very first time. Not really sure which rocket scientist worked THAT schedule out. Oh, wait, it was me. Right. Okay. *wanders off stage right, audience hears muffled cries of "STUPID, STUPID" and some head-slapping sound effects* Ahem. Anyway! I'm back at the Advice Smackdown (thanks to Sarah of Whoorl and Kelly of Mocha Momma for filling in the last couple guest-author spots), although I admit I'll be cheating... Read more →


Well. We're all still alive. So that's something. I'll spare you most of the slightly horrific, nose-blow-by-blow details of my weekend, except for: 1) Chest cold, i.e. coughing up my fucking toe bones. 2) Sinus infection, i.e. OH MY GOD EVERYBODY PLEASE STOP HAMMERING ON MY FACE. 3) Double ear infection, i.e. Noah no longer getting any sympathy for his SINGLE ear infection, like WHATEVER. 4) Pinkeye, i.e. or possibly "just" the double ear infection leaking out of both of my eyes. 5) Hives from an allergic reaction to the doses of antibiotic I swiped from Noah, i.e. HIVES? YOU... Read more →