Don't Steal My Sunshine
Smile With Your Eyes

Sad. But Not, You Know, Saaaaad.

We're snowed in (well, more like ice-and-slushed in at this point), we're slowly on the illness mend, and the news from the hospital is neither particularly good nor particularly dire. (They're...shocking his heart? because it's still beating irregularly? and he's at high risk for a stroke and the pneumonia has taken a turn for the even worse? and while this sounds terribly awful they seem rather nonchalant about the whole thing?)

(Also: they! I shake my fist at you, they!).

It's always just a matter of time, I've found, if I post a few complain-y, overwhelm-y entries, before the suggestion is made that I am depressed and should call a doctor and consider some meds. Which always makes me toss up my hands and wonder when it suddenly became impossible for someone to just be SAD when things are not going especially spectacularly? Can't anyone just be SAD anymore? But that's not really fair, since I know people really do mean well, and when all you have to go on is that series of complain-y entries, you might assume I really AM doing nothing but wallowing in my nice bowl of sadness soup.

(Mmmm. Soup.)

I assure you that I am not, really.  I think I'm managing pretty well, all things considered. I am sure eating a lot of comfort foods (seriously, get me some soup! and make it cream-based!) and I think it may be time to watch a stupid sad movie and have a good cry. (I just need one that doesn't involve anyone DYING, so if anyone has a suggestion for something wussy that still packs a Steel Magnolias punch, please leave the title in the comments.) But still. I'm good. Tired, but good. Worried, but good. Coldish, but good.

My days are bigger than this blog, and yet very small, and I like them that way. Noah's on a Dr. Seuss kick, so we're all about Horton and the Grinch and Green Eggs and Ham. Ezra's about two minutes away from laughing and is actually starting to maybe take naps in his crib knock on wood oh my god right now. He is so round and fine and handsome and looks at me with an expression of pure glee because HI! IT'S YOU! MY FAVORITE!

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And last night Noah ran out of the usual bedtime stalling excuses (potty, drink of water, one more song, etc.) and came out of his room to announce that "I NEED MY TOENAILS CLIPPED."

I'm still laughing about that one, because you just can't get any gooder than that.

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(OH. Duh. A Little Princess! Done.)

Comments

AmyC65

hmmmm, I have read or seen on reputable news shows in the last year, a few pieces about how our society just presumes SAD = DEPRESSION, and how it is good and healthy and normal to allow ourselves to be sad sometimes without rushing to cure, correct or obliterate the sadness. So, go ahead and be sad sometimes. and be happy others. and sometimes be both. That is healthy and, where you are right now, seems right to me.

Dana

My new favorite comfort soup- Trader Joe's tortilla soup. Mix a carton of TJ's tomato soup, a jar of the tomato-less salsa (corn salsa), half a bag of crushed chips and some shredded cheese (it calls for 1/4 cup, but I think more would not be uncalled for.) It's delish, and you can say "Look I made soup!" like a culinary superwoman, even though it is super easy to do.

Badger

You just go ahead and be sad, goddammit, you've got good enough reason to be. As lots of far better informed and eloquenter (see?) people have said above, being sad when sad stuff is happening is completely normal (if you weren't at least a bit sad, we'd be worried). Depression is the irrational type of sadness. You are not being irrational, you are being you, in your situation, with your feelings, and grrrrrr, that doesn't need medicating. It's okay to just 'feel' sometimes.
The Christmas special of the British version of 'The Office' always has me bawling, but in a good way, because it's so lovely and right, but that's probably too specific and not necessarily easily available... (I could lend it to you, but I'm in the UK so maybe not so convenient).
Badgery inappropriate love and growls at annoying people xxx

Imanitsud

ET!

Ghost was a big tear jerker for me back in the day, now it barely elicits a sniff from me. But you know, it might work.

Binkytowne

I'm sad. No worries. I'm not worried about you. How sad could you be with those cuties around?

suz

Uh, YEAH on the "no meds for appropriate sadness." When my dad died a couple of years ago, my doctor suggested I go on an antidepressant. I very calmly replied, "I am not taking drugs to suppress a natural reaction to an event." So, AMEN SISTER! Carry on!

Olga

Of course you are allowed to feel sad! Not everyone must be happy all the time: how unrealistic is that?

How about Love Actually? That's a great movie!

Joanna

Of course you're a little bit blue. I think Love Actually's a good choice, because there are parts silly enough to roll your eyes at, and parts sweet enough to make you cry. Still sending good thoughts your dad's way.

linda

YES! You can JUST be sad! That is one of my biggest pet peeves! Ahhhh!

That picture of Noah at the end is amazing! That one should be framed or in a publication or both. I loved it! It's one I would hang on my wall and I technically don't even know Noah.

Hang in there. Prayers still coming your way.

Jo

What?!! I can't believe how amazingly well you're doing and coping with all this. You are so allowed to just be SAD right now, you'd be weird if you weren't. My husband cried for the first time in a movie watching Miracle on 34th Street over Christmas. haha. I am just sending lots of healthy vibes your way. And Noah is the cutest, most hilarious ever.

Alicia Millis

I am still praying for your dad! A good cry from a movie always helps me, especailly when there is a tub of ice cream and some raw cookie dough at hand.

Your boys are tooo cute!!

minicooper

Hi Amy! Sad is GOOD and NORMAL when you are experiencing a whole slew of things all at once. Especially when your own body is sick and not responding like you want it to! You should only start to worry if/when you feel NOTHING at all. Sad means you're human and you care about your family.

I will continue praying for your dad. I lived through the same experience in highschool (I'm 27 and my dad is 70 now) He's now out-lived my mother and is alive and kicking! Parents... they are full of surprises!

lizinsumner

Funny Girl - it has great music, Barbra Streisand's voice, Omar Sharif at his youngest and handsomest, and no deaths. The seduction scene in the private dining room in Baltimore?? Best seduction scene in a movie ever. And the ending WILL make you cry!

Michelle

Why would anyone want to have actual feelings when one can just drug them away. Seriously.
Hang in there.

Susan

Oh, I'm sorry about the Sad. I was going to suggest Shakespeare in Love. That's my all-time favorite cry movie besides Shadowlands.

I wish we had all that snow down here. Noah looks so happy out in it!

Mel

I skimmed the posts but did not see.....
Bridges over Madison County!

I have watched many times and still cry, and no death.

The Notebook and August Rush also made me blubber like a fool without any death. But I haven't watched those more than once.

Angie

My family makes fun of me for this one so you may just get a laugh out of this, but the movie that always makes me cry but doesn't involve dying is Apollo 13. I can just watch the part where they are waiting to re-establish radio contact without having seen the previous 2 hours and I will still cry. And then, voila! Happy ending!

Amy

"She's Having A Baby" always does it for me. The music montage when she is having the baby and Kevin Bacon realizes what a jerk he's been and how much he really wants the baby - oh man. Buckets every time, but in a very cleansing not sad kind of way. A cathartic cry, which is exacly what you need and Dr. Other Amy is prescribing for you.
You are all in my thoughts - hopefully you can has break soon.

Jen

Fried Green Tomatoes!! I don't know why, but this movie always makes me cry the whole way through. Prayers for you family!

Meredith

I'm sorry to hear about your father. There is website dedicated to heart patients and their families called www.cardiosmart.org. It helped some people in my church who had heart attacks. It kind of reinterperts doctor-speak for normal people.

As for crying, how are you with dogs dying valiantly? Where the Red Fern Grows...both the book and the movie make me cry for hours. In a good way.

jill

Jeesh. People seriously recommend dr's visits and anti-depressants?

Jeeesshh.

Better than that would be:
1. Dad gets better, real soon!
2. A good night's shut-eye
3. Summer and some sunshine
4. More sleep
5. A rib-sticky meal uninterrupted by anything, that doesn't involve being prepared by you or washed up by you.
6. A good book, a cup of tea, and...
7. Another sleep.

Jeesh. Anti-depressants?! Do these people not know about normal life, or something??!

Sherri

Oh, without fail the best movie for that kind of situation is WHALE RIDER. It doesn't involve death, but you will cry cry cry at the end...and then leave feeling uplifted and wonderful. I watch it every time I need a good cry (I don't like sad cries). When you're ready to feel a bit better, check out Danny Deckchair or Lars and the Real Girl. Add Juno and Wall-E (another good cry movie) and you've got the best of my DVD collection!

Crystal

I hear you on the bedtime excuses. Leon takes his medicine before he goes to bed which consists of 3 allergy medications and his vitamin. At one point after having tubes put in his ears, he had ear drops as well. When he had the ear drops, his stuffed dog, which my husband even named for him, had to have eardops too. He would absolutely NOT lay down unless the dog had ear drops. The list gets longer and longer every time though. We will laugh at these for years to come I'm sure.

Lori

I wish I could send you some soup.

Pat

I second JUNO...it's funny, a bit sad, but oh so great. Sweetie, I love you....I have TWO parents with Alzheimers (sp)? and I can not even imagine the road you are on.....Juno, wine, repeat. Baby Boys.....Oh so sweet!!!!! I have a daugher (yea 15, hates me....loves me..hates me...you get it?) and a boy who is 11....sweet, loves his mommy, well so far anyway....sending you tons of best wishes.

Laurie

i've never commented before. you are in my thoughts. you inspire me. your dad inspries me, your husband inspires me. i just wanted you to know.

with love--laurie

sheilah

How about "Mame"? The musical one with Lucille Ball & Beatrice Arthur. I love that movie...I love Lucy (wait...good name for a TV show...). I don't know if you can even rent it or not but no one dies...oh wait, someone does but then Beatrice Arthur & Lucy go to lunch, get drunk, and sing "Bosom Buddies" and you forget all about it.

But when little Patrick sings "You're My Best Girl" I become a puddle of mush.

I think that, considering the circumstances, NOT being sad would require medication.

Catherine

Homeward Bound.

audie claudie: your tennis partner

glad to hear you're on the mend! why don't you pack up your babies again and be with your mom and dad. i'll make you some soup. i love making soup. leave your boys at my house and go be with your dad. do i sound like a bossy mom?

Liana

Dude, Monsters Inc. nearly made me cry the first time I saw it!
Also, now I want soup. At 9:25 at night.

Still sending thoughts and prayers your family's way, still enjoying the pics of your ADORABLE OMG SQUEE! sons. Toenails! That's a new one, Noah. :)
As always, thanks for sharing your life, the happy, the mundane, the sad.
:::HUGS:::

Kristin Peres

Oh. My. God.
I never comment but read constantly. Thank you so much for this today. I'm with you with feeling SAD today. And I have a two-year-old who runs the gamut every night of bedtime excuses. You made me laugh out loud. Thank you for your continued honesty. It helps me through the days sometimes with my two boys.

beyond

i don't think there is anything wrong with being sad and having a good cry, especially when there's a reason for it...
i saw 'away from her' (with the great julie christie!) a few days ago and i totally cried. it's breathtakingly beautiful. no one dies, but it's about the end of a relationship.

Courtney

I think you're doing just fine. With all that you've got going on, I'd think you'd be hard-pressed to be 100% joyful. Just hang in there and keep on trucking. I know, I know, it's trite. But true.

Debbi

It amazes me still that my son is in Kindergarten and i feel like i have been singlehandedly pulling him through the whole speech therapy process. So many of the things that you are going through and experiencing with Noah, i have lived and i totally know where you are coming from! I would say that it gets better, but seeing as how i am dragging the public school system from the seemingly Stone Ages when it comes to my son, i can't offer that. I can offer some mighty tasty creamy soup and a shoulder if you need someone who totally gets where you are coming from and i say go you! Yeah soup and brownies!

Debbi

Oh and because i am a loser, we are keeping our proverbial fingers crossed for your dad over here. I just forgot to post it with that last uplifting note. :-)

Kat

As some of your faithful readers have already suggested, I wholeheartedly recommend:

"Love Actually"
"Waitress"
"Juno"
"Dan in Real Life"

Your boys are beautiful, I enjoy your blog immensely, and I am sure things will get sunnier in no time.

MiniHipster.com

i LOVE the toe nails comment. he must have been proud of himself to think of that one. I know i am proud of him! 10 out of 10. I hope you clipped them!

www.MiniHipster.com

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