Second Son
January 12, 2009
When Noah was born, it was like the sun and the moon and the stars came to live in my house, in my arms. It was shocking and brilliant and blinding and I wanted to tell everyone -- everyone! -- about the celestial little being I'd birthed, and about everything little thing he did as if he was the first baby to ever do any of it, because as far I knew, he was.
Writing about Ezra has been harder -- yes, yes, I remember the helicoptering arms and legs and how they're constantly smiling at some point in the distance while you try to figure out whether it's the curtain rod or the beige wall paint that has them so excited, and yes, there's no need to freak out when they start pooping less or coo something that sounds just like "mama" -- but not because he is any less wondrous to me. I revel in every moment with him -- I never, ever put him down so I can greedily suck up those moments, even if it means typing blog posts with my arm awkwardly bent and raised and aching while his little hand curls around my wrist as he sleeps and snores beside me. The gentle heft of his growing body feels so good, his smiles are so fantastic, the wonderful Gerber Baby-ness of his beautiful face is so indescribable I don't even see the point in trying. I just want to enjoy him.
Having him is like discovering that there is, in fact, a second sun and moon and galaxy of stars. They may be a lot like the ones you've seen before, but are still completely unique and amazing. And you sit and you stare and you smile, as your heart bends and expands to fit this new universe.
You do make gorgeous babies.
He is beautiful and this is a wonderful post -- thanks for sharing!
Absolutely and Amen.
This is so thrilling to read. Because I'm going to have my own little moon and stars in a few weeks, and I can hardly believe it. I can hardly believe I'm so damn lucky.
This post makes me smile. Noah and Ezra are both beautiful and adorable.
Oh Lord, he is so adorable!!
What a beautiful boy
Oh, the little mouth. So sweet! I hear you. can't wait to get home to my little sun, moon and stars.
My thoughts exactly. I had my (gasp) 4th about a week before you had your Ezra and I just keep adding to my galaxy.
That's the sweetest sun I've seen lately.
Thank you so much for this. I am halfway through this second pregnancy and I can't imagine having a second sun and moon and galaxy of stars. But your post make me start to believe that it's possible.
After my first baby was born I thought my heart was going to actually explode from love. It took me some years to imagine that there would ever be enough space in my heart to love another child even close as much.
And on the birth of the second I discovered to my wonder that apparently my heart just doubled in size instantaneously.
So - seems hearts are pretty flexible after all. :-) Just as well, cos i went on to have 2 more after that. :-)
Enjoy your boys. They ARE the sun, moon, and stars.
x2. :-)
It is so true. I also have two boys and with my first (now 4) I wanted him to do the next thing fast. Always reading what to expect one month in advance so I would know what to expect. With my second (almost 8 months) I want him to SLOW down. Wait - wait-wait! It is going too fast.
Thank you for all of the posts about your sons. I have a 2 year old son and am 27 weeks pregnant with our second son and it is so reassuring to come here and read how much you love both of your boys and well it is going for you when I am feeling so anxious about becoming the mother of two children.
The cute baby pictures are delightful too. It really makes me forget about my worries and just look forward to noshing on the little one.
As if I wasn't aching enough to get pregnant! OMG, cutest picture everrrrrr. This is the kind of sweet sleeping that makes it nearly impossible not to pick them up and smother them in kisses and squeeeeze them.
I was very much the same with my second daughter. I wanted to savor each and every moment because I knew how fleeting they all were and I had no clue (still don't) whether or not this would be my last chance to experience new babyhood.
Sadly, I still can't remember enough of those early months. SOB.
I just want to eat up those cheeks!!!!!!!!!!
That is a wonderful post and oh my lawd a cute and chunky baby!
That's the wonderful joy of being a mother, isn't it? How they are able to renew your wonder in things. Even in themselves.
What a cutie pie.
My first is 8 months old, and I'm looking forward to another in the next couple of years. Glad to know it's just as exciting and "wondrous" (a term I see quite a bit on Shushybye. lol).
How beautiful he is. I am always a bit surprised that each of my babies is sooooo consumingly special to me. I had always been told it was because my first was my first. It wasn't, it was because he was my baby.
I know *just* what you mean. When I was pregnant with my second, I couldn't imagine feeling the way about her that I do about my first. And it's true, I don't. She's her own unique brand of glorious specialness.
This post is so sweet. I'm the proud mommy of a Noah of my own, and it's a bit hard to imagine loving any other child as much as I love him. But I'm hopeful that one day, I'll get the chance to try at least once.
Those are some chubby cheeks!!! Do you eat them all day long?
How is it that you can make me desperately want another baby? Oh, I know, because what you write is so beautiful and perfect.
Beautiful post! He's so adorable.
What a sweet baby! I am loving his big round cheeks!
That picture is making my ovaries hurt. He is so gorgeous.
Understood. When I was pregnant with my little girl, I remember crying for about two weeks because I was so worried there was NO. WAY. I could EVER love her as much as my son. When you have two, it makes you realize how quickly it all goes by - now I try to slow them BOTH down and enjoy every moment I can.
Both of your boys are so beautiful.
I just had my first, and I already can't wait for my second; although I can't imagine it, I have to believe that what all the second-time moms say is true, that e all have the capacity to be entranced by another baby. And I look forward to some of that familiar territory you describe. Congratulations on two awesome kids!
I was incredibly surprised that I could love my second child as much as I love my first born. And yet, of course I do! It is amazing!
Your children are beautiful, by the way... I'm sure you never get tired of hearing that!
Thanks for sharing your second galaxy with us. Because of your blog my family and I went to Kaileen Galhouse and she was AMAZING. Are you going to go back to her? I'd love to see Noah and Ezra snuggling through her eyes (I swear I'm not her, nor am I being paid by her).
And on the seventh post, Ezra rested.
And it was good.
He is a deliciously nommy baby for sure. So glad you can enjoy him to the fullest!
And then when you have your third, there is a THIRD moon! He is such a gorgeous baby. I want to nibble those cheeks-Yum!
He is gorgeous. What beautifully munchable little cheeks. Nom nom nom.
Well said. =)
*Swoon*
I can't wait to have babies and feel like this...I really can't!
Exactly. And it's like this every time. Beautifully written!
I LOVE how your love for your boys comes through in every word you write about them. You capture that "catch your breath" feeling of motherhood so perfectly.
And Ezra? He's just perfect. (so is Noah, for that matter).
I love that photo. Just perfect.
uhg, you always make me tear up. well done mama.
This actually made me feel a bit tearful when I thought back more than 12 years to when my last one was that age. I wouldn't actually want to do it all again now, but the desire to be able to have the ones I already have back to being that age again is strong!
Aww, thanks for making a second-born feel like a million dollars. Or a second galaxy.
beautiful post. and drop dead freaking gorgeous beautiful gerber baby. i would absolutely eat him up. nom nom nom nom...
He has such adorable, fat, little cheeks. I miss the pudgy cheeks!
I love how you can always put into word the things I feel but could never so eloquently describe. Thanks for this post.
Great perspective. I've always wondered how you can love 2 children and that's the best explanation I've ever heard.
We just celebrated our daughter’s first birthday. I'm so glad to read this today.
Oh me, look at his little fuzzy head.
I can smell him from here.
Look at that sweet little rosebud mouth.
What a wonderful tribute to every second, third, fourth (and so on)...child who ever lived.
The ones who have half-filled baby books, hand-me-down clothes, borrowed toys, who get called by the wrong name (Ada....I mean Liam!)and who's picture ratio to their older sibling(s) is about 1:100.
Beautiful (as is Ezra)
You've given me chills again!
Gorgeous writing...beautifully expressive without being too mushy. :)
I think it is indeed possible to enjoy the second one in an equally self-possessing, but different way, than the first. With my first, it was the newness, the end-all be-all of his essence and my newfound parenthood. With #2, I find myself more wistful, wise with the knowledge that yes, each moment is fleeting and must be savored, inhaled and thoroughly enjoyed. Since I imagine that our daughter will be our last child, each milestone is marked with the joy and huzzah of the same milestones my son achieved, but with this little nagging sadness that this chapter of my life as a parent of a young child is passing, passing, passing by. This sad joy is, for me, the ultimate irony of parenthood. Our second children give us the gift of recognition in the moment.