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January 2009
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March 2009

Recently Typed Questions

Q. Why can't I comment on your post? Were there idiots? Did you close comments because of idios? Where are the idiots? I will totally beat up those idiots. A. No, noooo! No idiots. Nothing but hundreds of wonderfully kind, understanding and helpful comments. I think my lack of a post title freaked something out and sent the sidebar down to where the comments should be and basically I broke the webbityblog and it's all my fault and I AM A COLOSSAL FAILURE WAAAAHH. Q. Uhh. A. I am kidding. Obviously, this is all Denis Leary's fault. Q. Soccer. SOCCER?... Read more →

I told Noah's preschool that we were dropping his enrollment back down to three days a week. And that no, we would NOT be taking advantage of the whole $50 early-bird re-registration option for next year, thanks. And then I reminded them that my account should have a credit for the cost of the after-school soccer program. You know, the one they kicked him out of. It felt...ugh. Yeeshh. Uhggzzzaaaaa. I can't seem to spell the sound I'm making right now. It felt like...colossal failure? Maybe? Not by Noah, of course, but by us, for making such a poor decision... Read more →

Delicious Whole-Grain Baby

So after all of that, this happened. In part, I caved because Ez suddenly seemed ravenously, inexplicably hungry all the time and seriously tried to throw himself headfirst into Noah's plate of macaroni and cheese. It was also because there wasn't anything good on TV that night. After the initial WHAT THE EFF? reaction, I must report that Ezra seriously loves oatmeal. Loves it. Two bites in and he had the whole spoon thing down and two nights in he knew when it was cereal time and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN, WHERE IS MY CEREAL? He's also skipped... Read more →

Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming Of Me Falling Down For Your Amusement

Okay. So. THANK YOU. I needed that. All of that. Especially the joke about the pirate's balls. Which I think got posted a good four or five times but all that did was prove that yes, IT'S STILL FUNNY because I laughed every time I read it. Although getting me to laugh didn't prove to be that hard, as actual official Laugh Out Loudage was achieved by the third comment. This one, by Margo: My cell phone had been missing since Jan 12. I found it on Wednesday! I found it in my purse. Seriously. I keep going back and... Read more →

Your Turn

I'm kind of blue. But I'm kind of not in the mood to talk about it. Yet. (Everything's totally fine, though, promise. Just motherhood and worry and my sweet little Noah and my stupid little feeeeeeeeelings but I think it's better if I just shut up about it, for once, for now.) But still. I'm sad, a little. Say something funny. Read more →

A Post About Boobs. But You Know, the Lame Mommyblog Functional Sort of Boobs.

Ezra had his four-month check-up yesterday (hmm, feels like way too many hyphens in that sentence, but no matter), and unlike last time I cannot directly compare his stats to his big brother's, because I never blogged about them. So I don't know them. So I was either completely over documenting Noah's babyhood by four months or at least briefly pretending to for the Sake Of My Poor Mommyblogged-Out Audience. Or....(scans blog archives once more)...ah. Yes. Month four was the month of the rotavirus. Over and over again. So I was simply too busy vomiting. I remember now. (I also... Read more →

Ezra's Lullaby

(A work in progress) (New verses added nightly) (Sung to the tune of "On Top of Old Smokey") (And whatever, like people on American Idol write their own songs or anything EITHER) High-maintenance baaaaby, Why won't you sleep? When you stay up all night, You're kind of a creep. High-maintenance baaaaby, Why do you cry? You're fed, changed and swaddled, What the eff else can I try? High-maintenance baaaaby, Why do you sob? You're making me look very inept at my job. High-maintenance baaaaby, Why do you fuss? Something something something. Duck-billed platypus. High-maintenance baaaaby, Wants nothing but boob. And... Read more →


Well, NOW how am I supposed to get anything done, ever? Yeah, this blogging thing was fun and all but TICKLISH BABY GIGGLES YUM GOTTA GO BYE. (This is technically the second time I got him to laugh. The night before I coaxed some giggles by screaming "GRILLED CHEEEEEESE!!!!" right in his face.) (What?) Read more →

Capturing the Moment to the Extreme

Let me back up and expand on something that I talked about yesterday, because nothing makes for a more exciting blog post than a story that you already know the ending to. It happened a few weeks ago, when I was still staying at my parents' house, on the night before my dad's surgery*. My mom had returned to the hospital after dinner for one last private visit. I was alone in the house with two children, my dog and my mom's three cats, cleaning up the kitchen after yet another successful Crock Pot meal (seriously, yo, I rock the... Read more →

The Baby Who

I dressed Ezra in a certain blue stripey fleece sleeper today, and had to step back from the changing table for a second, like, "whoa, which baby are you again?" OH RIGHT, THE FAT ONE. And of course, I mean that in the nicest, most delicious way possible. You're also the baby who won't smile directly into the camera, which means a lot of ridiculous behavior on my part and blindly-snapped, blurry photos. Every once in awhile, I catch you. Sort of. You're the baby for whom that whole thing about a "regular, consistent bedtime routine" nonsense actually WORKS, and... Read more →