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Delicious Whole-Grain Baby

Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming Of Me Falling Down For Your Amusement

Okay. So. THANK YOU. I needed that. All of that. Especially the joke about the pirate's balls. Which I think got posted a good four or five times but all that did was prove that yes, IT'S STILL FUNNY because I laughed every time I read it.

Although getting me to laugh didn't prove to be that hard, as actual official Laugh Out Loudage was achieved by the third comment. This one, by Margo:

My cell phone had been missing since Jan 12. I found it on Wednesday! I found it in my purse.


Seriously. I keep going back and rereading that, and laughing every time, because it's so perfect. Even the punctuation amuses me to no end. Margo, you are a goddamn comic genius. Go start a blog.

Anyway. I am not so very sad today, and feel a little silly about it now, because I got myself into a funk over a little rookie mistake known as TOO MUCH GOOGLE. I needed to step away from the Google and the computer, and put my hands in the air like the contestants on Top Chef do when Padma screams TIME'S UP! KNIVES DOWN! STEP AWAY FROM THE UNCLE BEN'S MICROWAVEABLE RICE BOWL IN A CUP CHALLENGE!

Stupid Google.

After I got done diagnosing my firstborn with All Sorts Of Things, and then deciding against Those Things and reading about Oh My God, There's This Whole Other Class of Things, I got a call from a really great neighborhood preschool -- a preschool Noah had been accepted to last year, but we turned them down because we were silly and thought that preschool shouldn't like, cost that much -- and they offered him a spot for next year. I'm...hopeful. I think it will be a much, much better fit for him. Provided we don't qualify for the special needs preschool through the district, which. I don't know. I don't want to think about that yet, because it might make me go back to Google. And the Things.

Plus the district evaluation isn't going to happen for another four zillion years, since I needed to send in more paperwork and I did and then the paperwork got sent back to me today because Jason only put one stamp on the envelope and it needed two stamps and I bet his bad postage estimation skills had to do with a poor preschool choice by his parents way back in 70's.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS FUNNY? SLAPSTICK!

So just when I decided that Friday wasn't such a bad day after all, I fell down the stairs.

I was padding around the house in my bedroom slippers and thank goodness I was holding a bag of dirty diapers and not something important, like the baby or a glass of wine, but I just slipped on a step and my feet went flying out from under me and BANG, butt and then BANG, knee and then BANG, elbow and the next thing I knew I was at the bottom of the stairs moaning in pain and then Jason peered over the railing and was all, "What happened?"

(See? More preschool-level concepts that the man will probably never master in his life, no matter what.)

IMG_1394


IMG_1399

This is my leg. I never would have thought that I bump my upper thigh into things that often, but it turns out this bruise is like a paper cut that you are constantly made aware of by things like...sitting down. Or rolling over in bed. Or your preschooler's battering ram of a head. Or pants.

Oh, and speaking of pants, last night I managed to trip and sprain my big toe while putting on my pajamas. And to think, my mother was so disappointed when I quit ballet lessons in kindergarten.

IMG_1371

(Don't tell him I'm a klutz. Or that he's wearing Christmas jammies in February, I CANNOT DO LAUNDRY UNTIL MAH INJURIES HAVE HEALED.)

Comments

Elizabeth_K

So glad your (better readers) made you laugh, and especially glad to see smiling gorgeous Ezra. And ... your bruises ... OUCH!

iMommy

Ok first, you have skinnier arms than me and I vote that's not fair.

Second, that makes the bruise I got yesterday look like a freaking paper cut. Ow!

@tiffany

I've just forgotten everything you said because WILL YOU JUST LOOK AT THAT FACE OH MY GOD!

Miss Grace

The Google can be a Very Scary Thing. Unless you're using to successfully stalk your exboyfriend from college. Then it can be a Very Useful Tool.

Shiz

I so totally love you!

Sprite's Keeper

Someone looking over my shoulder thought I was looking at injury evidence photos for a lawsuit and asked how much the plaintiff was asking for. Now if you add some legal jargon and more of these photos to every post, I would never have to worry about reading your blog at work!

beanery

I had my comment all formulated in my head until I saw that face. . . My gawd, That is one adorable child!

Kate

They aren't late Christmas pajamas, they are early St. Patrick's day pajamas, right? Right??? That have red on them because it was just Valentine's. The kid's totally in season.

Sarah

I love how pleased Ezra is to see you in that photo. Thank goodness he doesn't know you're a klutz ;-)

Liana

Those bruises! Yikes! I hope they heal up fast....and I'm glad that in other ways things are looking more hopeful and positive!

Plus, of course, Ezra is nom-ably adorable in ANY season in ANY pajamas. :)

Starbuck

Those bruises are hideous and made me wince in pain for you. That boy is so ridonkulously cute, there no way you couln't help but feel better, right?

Also, I hate postage. They should just send a bill or at least credit you on the return so you just need 1 more stamp.

Starbuck

Is "ridonkulous" an insult? Hope not...

Lindz31

Ow!!
thanksfully everything will heal, except maybe your major ego of being graceful. but I think it's about time it "FELL" a few notches anyway..

hehe.

Marie

Owwie! That looks so painful. I have noticed that my sense of balance and physical awareness is seriously reduced these days. Maybe it's left-over pregnancy hormones? Whatever it is, I've been getting banged up too. Bleh. Put some ice on those poor limbs, dear. :(

Mouse

There was a joke in my family about how much my parents spent on ballet lessons only to have me trip over my own feet. I was damn graceful on stage, but it ended the second I slipped off my pointe shoes.

Stacy

Your bruises are ample evidence of why I should be glad my house does not have stairs. Cause I am a klutz and would probably look pretty damn awful if I did. Not that you do, well they do look pretty painful, okay I'll just stop now.

Kristine

I fell out of my chair the other day. All I did was reach down to grab a paper and there I was, ass over tit, face down on the floor.

I think it would be less embarrassing to say I fell down the steps.

Danielle

can barely squeak out an *ouch* for you... just looking at that makes me hurt.

but, oh, that button nose! yum!

Alicia

holy crap girl! those are some huge bruises!

google is so evil sometimes! but can be such a great friend. Good luck with all the preschool drama, I know it will all work out!

robyn

This is sick and wrong, but the close-up of your leg bruise is what made me actually LOL.

Yes, I am ashamed.

Parsing Nonsense

Oy, your bruises look like eggplant armageddon.

Hillary

Christmas jammies be damned. Ezra is one cute kid.

Susan

Boy, youse gots some big 'ole ouchies there alright. Jason better have kissed them better.

I fell today. In the break room at work. Tripped over my own two feet. Wasn't even walking - just was starting to walk from a standstill, and there I went.

Carrie

Oh my god those bruises! Ouch ouch ouch.

On the bright side, your kid is gorgeous.

Growing a Navy Bean

That picture of Ez is so cute. And my little girl is still wearing Christmas stuff too. They're long sleeve and she's outgrown practically everything else long sleeve.

Kellie

Ok, so I have messaged you a million and one times and had diarrhea of the mouth regarding you and Noah and what's going on.

Here's more assvice. My son did not qualify for any district programs after he turned three. Don't ask me why. We would take him for private evals and the results were always PDD-NOS, sensory processing disorder, and visual spacial delay with direct and clear therapy goals spelled out. So then we would go back to the school district and they would say he didn't qualify. It was infuriating. We ended up having to take loans out and pay for therapy that way and then finding a preschool the works with special needs.

He graduated from therapy last year (OT and Speech) and started kindergarten in a regular class this year. We were thrilled. He is thriving in his class, BUT, they are recommending him for special ed for reading and letter recognition. He's also a math whiz. Like super ahead of all his friends. Who knew?

I'm rambling again. I said all that to say that there is hope. I promise you. The confused fog that you are in will lift eventually, but you are going to have to go through it, to get out of it. I would strongly, strongly recommend you take him to a psychiatrist/psychologist who specializes in the autistic spectrum and sensory processing disorder. I PROMISE you, it will help you.

Oh, and if you wake up one morning and Ezra has disappeared? It's because while you were sleeping, I sneaked into your house and ate him. FYI.

Victoria

Is it mean that I feel like less of a klutz now? I regularly run into walls. In my house. Where I've lived for 8 years.

Arnica Gel helps with my bruises--maybe it will with your ouchies?

Jen

My kid was wearing his Halloween shirt under his Old Navy fleece outfit the other day because the orange shirt matched the organe piping on the fleece jacket. And he still wears his orange and black striped Halloween pants as jammie bottoms (sometimes with a non-matching shirt).

Katie

What's that kid doing looking like a big baby? He's supposed to be a floppy infant still! Geez. Your boys grow up fast!

Suzanne

Holy, good GOD, woman!

I've had similar war injuries (icy steps+falling=fractured tailbone and bruises), and it is not fun-especially if you're still caring for two kids.

Yes, Google is evil when your child is special needs. That said, sometimes you find amazing groups of people who UNDERSTAND and can talk you down from the DEFCON 5 anxiety you have about what lies ahead and will your kid be normal and what the heck did I do wrong that plagues us. (My warm group is for Asperger's and I heart them completely for calming me)

As a veteran, a couple of years from now, you'll be comfortable with what makes Noah, well, NOAH and the school stuff will just sort itself out. For now, you need the panic to make you feel like you make a difference.

Time will show you that you are making the right choices.

And that picture of Ezra? Purely delightful.

Katie

Christmas pj's or not, that is THE cutest picture ever!

Gail

Ezra makes me think about having a second child.

Shit.

Christy

Glad you're feeling better - we all have those funk days. And yours helped someone else out - my husband is having a crappy day so I copied all the jokes from the comments section & sent it to him. You're a humanitarian! P.S. Whenever I get bruises, I just tell people "Spouse had to tell me twice". To stop the haters, we don't hit and it's what my dad used to say when he got bruises due to his blood thinners.

Kate

That baby. Oh, that baby makes me cry, he's so beautiful. Nom.

Marin

If Ezra goes missing, it's because I stole him and ate him whole.

I'm always finding bruises on myself. I walk into things, fall up stairs, etc. You'd never know that I competed in sports where coordination was paramount.

Mommy, Esq.

I believe in my kids wearing Thanksgiving, Christmas, Halloween and Valentine's Day bibs. So much funnier to see half-chewed peas on a T-Day bib in March.

MommyNamedApril

ouch! glad you're (mostly) ok!

Neena

I broke my nose coming downstairs from the roof deck a couple summers ago.

Though I'm not sure why, my dog insists on being the first to walk down stairs and can be found at my side most of the time. She was on the other side of the deck with some of my friends, ran to the stairs as I started to descend, managed to get right in front of me when I promptly put my foot down on her tail. She yelped, I tried to move out of the way, and in an effort not to cause further discomfort to my puppy, I fell down the stairs. I had plates in my hand (which went flying) but didn't have enough time to protect my face. Broken nose. Awesomeness.

Kristin

OUCH...hope it heals soon.

Andrea

I love Hanna Anderson jammies, Christmas or not. Sorry you fell, I have a nearly matching bruise on my elbow from falling down a ski hill a couple of weeks ago. Not Fun.

erin

have you heard of a walking helmet? it's for those of us who need help navigating everyday life. it's a good investment and looks less lame than falling/bruises from falling. i can hook you up with one, if need be.

Amanda

Dammit. I had a blog entry half-written out and in it I discuss the overgooglage and now I dont even want to finish it because it will be all copy-ish and not half as good as yours.

Also, pssh. sprained big toe while putting on pants aint that big of a deal. I threw out my back putting on a pair of pants. I kid you not. I was getting dressed for work. Had to call my boss and be all "uhh...I cant come to work today. I threw out my back." Being the nice person she is, she asked "Oh no! How did that happen?!?!!?" and I had to answer "well, I was putting on my pants..."

ashley

Yes, the child is distractingly disarmingly adorable, but sheesh Amy, Pay attention!! Stop getting hurt woman...and stop on the googly for that matter...

Siobhan

I just did the same thing but it was mostly cause I'd taken an ambien. Unfortunately our stairs turn halfway down and I hit my head on the wall. So cost me a trip to the ER and a CT scan. And now my three year old keeps telling me "Mommy hold on when you go down the stairs. No fall again!" and I feel like a complete moron.

Whozat

Hey - My kid is in Xmas jammies right now! And I'm about to take her to the grocery store wearing them.

(Or Xmas clothes. Who can tell at this age.)

Stephanie

OMG! Your bruises look horrible. Not that you needed me to tell you that... I'm glad you made it down alive though, other than the bruises that is.

Julie

Don't feel bad. I decided to wear my brand new, super cute wide leg jeans for the first time this week, and I put them on with some heels and was feeling very with it, until about halfway down the stairs, the heel of one shoe got caught in the wide leg hem of the other leg, twisted my feet all to heck, and down I went. Thankfully I caught myself on one knee about 3 stairs down, but I swore I hyper-extended my toes in the effort to stop my forward plummet. The real 'thank goodness' is that I was the only one home, so no one to lean over the banister and ask what happened. :)

Cheri

Oh Amy- You are not alone in your clutzies- when my daughter was 15 months old, I dropped a pyrex glass dish on my big toe and hobbled around for three weeks- it was a nice black/purple color.Also, sprained left wrist falling when I was 13, broke right wrist falling when I was 27- Ever try to put on a bra with only your non dominant hand?

Safire

Hey, my boys have those exact jammies. We still wear them because Hanna Andersson clothes rock. I want to be a millionaire to buy everything in their store.

Your arms and legs look like mine did when I fell down the stairs about a month ago. Except! I was carrying my twins. And! One broke his leg. I've had a horrible cast on a 9 month old as payment for being totally uncoordinated. Lucky me.

See this post for pictures:
http://livinginmaryland.blogspot.com/2009/02/sunday-pictures-take-3.html

Kara

Oh my gosh, now our same-person-ness is starting to scare me. My first baby is now 3, my second was born just 3 weeks after Ezra, and I fell down the stairs last weekend too! Maybe that exclammation point makes me seem too happy about that, but it's just too funny for a period.

Except, when I fell, my brain did that split-second commanding that I must NOT fall FORWARD, I have babies and I do not want to DIE, gah. And since I started falling at the very top of a long flight of stairs that end in a bare concrete floor in an unfinished basement, that was a real possibility. So I threw my body backward with all my might. And I did not fall forward, did not land on anything important like my head or my neck (yay!). Instead, I kid you not, I BOUNCED the whole way down the stairs (boo). On my butt. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Yeah, I think six bounces is just about right--I didn't think to count at the time. And then? Did I lay at the bottom of the stairs and moan until someone came to offer sympathy, like any sensible person would do? I did not. I walked back up the stairs, forced myself not to limp, and proceeded as if NOTHING unusual had happened. I mean, I was in the middle of hosting a surprise 60th birthday party for my mom at the time. And since the noise of the party had covered up the noise of my body bouning down the stairs, I certainly wasn't about to make anyone the wiser. Of course I did tell my husband later, but all he could do was laugh at me. I didn't even have any crazy bruises to show for the whole thing, to elicit something other than laughter. Guess that means too much padding on my rear end? Talk about a bummer.

Reluctant Housewife

One of the first posts of yours that I read was the one where you fell down while holding Noah... I think you tripped over a curb? At least this time you weren't carrying a child. I'm so glad you weren't holding the baby with his wee precious head and stuff! And I'm sorry you hurt yourself.

I hope you feel less bruised soon!

Tricia

After all that google work, I am guessing you're worried about "the thing that can not be named". I have commented before that Noah has many things in common with my son -- and while I'm certainly not suggesting "the thing that can not be named" (aka TTTCNBN) applies to Noah, it does apply to my guy and, honestly, the diagnosis was the BEST thing that happened to us. As soon as it was decided, it was like the school district faeries started smiling, leprechauns started pooping gold coins, and my kid got all the services he needed. And you know what? He's still the very same kid he was before he was diagnosed with TTTCNBN!!!

Again -- I am so NOT saying that it applies to Noah. But, if that's the google findings that had your panties in a wad, I want to promise you that, really, it's totally OK and may even prove to be a helpful step in the process of getting Noah the help he needs!

Kelley

you know how they say when you throw a boomerang they come back to you? well that shit is true. I was the lucky one that got slapped in the thigh with a boomerang during a live demo in the Australian outback. That was the last time I've seen a bruise as nasty as yours. I had a good 8" bruise across my thigh - it was attractive. At least for you it's winter and you can cover it with pants. For me, it was summer and my shorts didn't cover it. OUCH dood.

Miss Britt

Holy FRICK! That's a bruise. Wow. Ouch. Damn.

/best comment ever

Taylor

While I'm sure the pricey preschool is all well and good, have you looked into placing Noah in the special needs preschool program as a "typical" student (if he doesn't qualify as special needs)? I'm from Ohio, so it might work differently here, but last year I taught preschool special needs. I had both special needs (mostly speech) in my class, and about 1/3 "typicals" (I hate that word, but it's their terminology, not mine). The benefit to this is that the teacher is already augmenting the class for kids with speech delays, and most likely, the SLP therapist will be willing to work with Noah on the sly. In my classroom, the speech therapist actually did whole class lessons about once a week. The teachers incorporate a lot of signing into their day, the class sizes are small and there's always at least one aide, and everyone is certified in special needs. From my experience, and from reading your blog (faithfully!), I really think this would be a good place for Noah.

I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have, it might help to talk to someone who's taught in the environment, I can give you more specifics about how our classrooms were managed. I'd really love to be of help if I can!

and *hugs* on the bruises. I'm sure some toddler kisses can clear that right up for you ;)

Nette

Padding around the house? You've been reading way too much Charlaine Harris. Or maybe that was me...

(Have you noticed how often she uses that description? If you haven't started any of her other mystery series yet, you should do that while you are resting and healing. Ouch. Poor little hip.)

pam

Sorry about your boo-boo's but would it make you feel better if I told you that that baby is the cutest baby in the whole born world?

egplnt21

my pediatrician would tell you, its not one big fall down the stairs, but rather, 13 little ones.

jen

I don't believe I've ever seen humans as beautiful as the ones you made.

God. My first time commenting and I sound creepy.

You're welcome.

Maria A.

I feel a little bad that I mostly comment when you talk about diagnoses, but my two oldest were diagnosed with sensory-integration disorders at 18 months and then Aspergers at 3. The process of reading about these things was traumatic, and having a REPORT label your kid autistic is even worse. But then we got the therapy. And the labels didn't matter because THE THERAPY IS REALLY IMPORTANT and the younger you get it the better it works. They "graduated" from all the therapies (speech, OT, behavioral aid) by the time they were in kindergarten and now basically you would never know. The labels get you the help, and then you toss them aside. Please Amy, don't be afraid of the label. It's temporary - I promise.

I loved comment number three as well!

Mommy Joy

My daughter has been growing so fast the only jammies left are her Christmas ones that I bought before she was even born. I over shot guessing how big she would be. She couldn't wear them AT Christmas so why not now? We've even taken pictures of her so we will have cute 1st Christmas jammie photos for her book.

I'm notorious for running into things and bruising my butt and ego. I find that without knowing it I start rushing to get things done. I have to remind myself to take a deep breath and take my time at things. I also like to drop things on my feet and break toes. You're not alone in this world. Take a deep breath and drink that glass of wine you didn't drop.

Missie

You may be injured, and for that I am sorry, but danged if you don't have the cutest little Christmas elf ever. The perfect roundness of his Charlie Brown head amazes me every time I see it. When Noah gets older, you will be able to use Ezra's head as a visual aid in order to teach Noah the concept of circumference.

Marnie

nomnomnom the Ezra-cutie.

Google. Sucks. Except when it helps you find your biological family that gave you up for adoption 39 years ago. Except, that might still suck, too. I'm still deciding.

Heal fast!

Heather

OUCH. OMG, OUCH.

But would you look at that beautiful baby?!?!?! That should make you all bettah...

Nap Warden

OK, new here (great blog) Someone made the mistake of telling my Little Man that he's wearing X-mas jammies. Now he refuses to wear them. You're two, they're cute, wear them!

Oh, and ouch!

Ginny

Yee--ouch! Heal better! Thanks for the Ez pic. He's darlin'

kma

You are so goddamn funny, I swear to god.

Maria

I'm having sympathy pain over here.

With a face like that, Ezra can do anything he damn well pleases.

Jasmine

That looks awfully painful :( -- now I know what you mean by you feel blue. You feel blue-black. Okay, so that was a bad joke. Put a heated flannel over it and rub the bruise away... hope you heal real soon. Sending love your way!

Karen

Don't drink and Google! Ever!

Michelle

Damn, girl! Those bruises look rough.

Elizabeth

Oh Amy, those BRUISES. ouch ouch ouch OUCH. I'm so glad you weren't more seriously hurt.

If I were you I'd be smooching Ezra's cheeks and nose all day long! And I agree, when did he get so BIG?!

Amber Mc

Ack! He's SMILING! He must have been laughing at the bruises.

Sarah

Impressive bruises!! My hands are all bloody and scraped up (lovely) because I tripped on the sidewalk while jogging. Obviously I need to exercise less and just sit on the couch where it is safe.

Lynn

Yeah, I'm another one whose comment was eaten by the picture. That smile just melts your brain.

Katie Kat

Okay, just looking at Ezra's face would always do the trick for me... mah goodness! That boy is more nom-able than peanut butter and jelly!

Ella

You guys make cute babies. EZ is adorable.

Is it okay to munch on another person's baby?

Meggo

We have Ezra's pajamas too. My daughter is still wearing them because she looks like a chubby elf prisoner. Love them.

tadpoledrain

oh, i just thought of this, re: noah and fitting in at pre-school, and being (or having) the "difficult" kid, or whatevs.

for a few summers i worked at a summer camp/daycare for kids aged about 4-7. one summer we had a pre-k kid who seemed a little bit odd, who had a hard time transitioning and doing what he was asked when he was asked, who made life sort of difficult for us (the counselors). you had to pay really close attention when he went to the bathroom, for example, because left to his own devices he would just hang out in there, dipping toilet paper in the toilet and talking to it and singing to himself (he was a great singer). i remember a tantrum in the bathroom on a field trip at the beginning of the summer that was especially trying, because he just couldn't be hurried along, and we had 20 other kids who were ready to go do something fun (and due to various rules, we couldn't just leave one of us with him and take the rest of the kids to the next thing).

as with most kids, we checked in with his parents about the bigger stuff (playing in the toilet water), and let the minor stuff go (if we told every parent of every kid about every tantrum or time-out, we'd never get anything else done).

he was with us all summer long -- about 10 weeks. at the beginning of the summer? he made life really difficult and drove us nuts, and, to our discredit, we didn't like him very much. by the end of the summer? he was our FAVORITE KID EVER. (i know. we shouldn't have favorites. but sometimes it just happens that way.) and that change happened from both sides. part of it was just that he got used to being in with us. and part of it was that we got used to him, and we learned how best to deal with him. ("deal with" isn't quite the right phrase, but i can't come up with anything that doesn't sounds negative in some way, because i really mean it in a postive way. work with? engage with? get the best out of?)

now, i last talked to his mom when he was in first grade, i think, and at that time she said that they (his parents, his teachers) did think something was up with him, and they were looking into testing and special services and whatnot. so this isn't an oh, i'm sure it's fine, just let him go at his own pace and blah blah blah comment.

but what i wanted to get at (...eventually) is that the right pre-school for noah is the one where they will like him for who he is, and where they will learn from him how to work with him and how to get the best out of him. (after some teething troubles, presumably.) it's not noah's job to learn to fit in. it's his teacher's job to learn how to help him do that. assuming that he/she has a manageable number of kids and an adequate level of support (variables that can change depending on the kids), any preschool teacher worth his/her salt should be able to do this.

so if you get the feeling that noah's current teacher can't handle him or doesn't like him? that's her fault (and/or the school's fault), not your fault, and cartainly not noah's fault.

um. sorry for the long ramble. hope that makes some sort of sense.

Mel

Glad you are feeling better. I was in a similar depressive state when I took my first born (second born not actually BORN yet, but whatever) to have his head shape evaluated and I was told that the flatness in the back that was due to my religious sleeping-on-the-back rule because of the reduction of the SIDS risk blah blah blah had ruined the shape of my poor baby's head and his features were - gasp! - uneven. Mind you, it took a pair of calipers and some other junk to actually COME to this conclusion - one could not see that with the naked eye. I spent about four days going between crying for ruining my baby and being angry at all the idiots who told me I HAD to make him sleep on his back, which caused me to ruin my baby. The caliper guy told me my baby needed to wear a helmet for a few months and I thought my world was collapsing (a new mother is not exactly a rational being and yes I classify being the mom of an 11 month old as new). A couple of weeks went by, we decided against the helmet, and now no one has a frickin clue about the shape of my boy's head, much less his allegedly uneven features. We've had so many other hurdles since then it put things into perspective. I know Google can be a dangerous place, stay AWAY from it.

As for Noah, I hope your worries ease away slowly. I know it's like telling you not to breathe (I had nightmares for three weeks straight about my son's upcoming and very minor surgery that was SO not a big deal and no rational thought would make them go away), but try not to worry too too much. It sounds like you have everything under control with his evaluations and such. Everyone is going to assess him differently but YOU as the mom know him better than anyone and so I think you should trust your instincts and not Google. One day you will look back and think, my goodness, where did my little boy go and hardly remember the things that worried you so. You'll just remember his sweet little blond head buried in the pillows of your bed and the cute way he would say things. And then you'll be sending him off to college at Dartmouth or something wishing his SAT scores weren't so damned high because he would only apply for schools that are not affordable...

Now go cuddle with your cuties :)

cursingmama

Get thee (or Jason) to the natural foods store of your choice & find something called Arnica Gel (there are several brands) and apply it to the bruises. I know it is hard to believe but it will heal them faster - and (hold me) if you put it on soonish after a fall they will not ever get so bad. As a repeated tripper, slipper & faller this discovery has changed my life. It is possibly as good as that first glass of wine postpartum... and we all know how awesome that was.

cursingmama

Get thee (or Jason) to the natural foods store of your choice & find something called Arnica Gel (there are several brands) and apply it to the bruises. I know it is hard to believe but it will heal them faster - and (hold me) if you put it on soonish after a fall they will not ever get so bad. As a repeated tripper, slipper & faller this discovery has changed my life. It is possibly as good as that first glass of wine postpartum... and we all know how awesome that was.

Cat

I almost sprained my toe putting on pajama pants the other night. I wonder if we were clutzy at the same time?

I like to think so.

Your bruises are icky and I'm sorry.

ame i.

Those are some impressive bruises right there! I'm always bumping into things & biting the kitchen floor. One tiny wet spot, say from melted ice cube, and I'm down. I also do bonehead things like fall asleep with the t.v. or fan remote under me, causing bruising on my upper arms. No wonder some people give my husband the suspicious eye.
The worst so far: standing on the 3rd stair griping at the girls for fighting at the top of the stairs, One of you could get hurt! So I turned away, forgetting where I was, and fell in a most ungraceful manner. The looks on their faces was almost worth it.

Jill

My boys have both worn their Christmas jammies this week. I'm waiting for the laundry fairy to show up.

Oh, and i can relate to the klutziness. I constantly have bruises on my legs that make my husband gasp. He asks how I got them, and I'm all "I don't know... probably ran into something." The last time I had Rocco in at the doctor, he had to get nekkid down to his undies and I realized his legs had little bruises on them. I asked him how he got them, to which he answered "I don't know." Ahh... like mother like son!

Syko

Definitely get some arnica gel at your local health food store. I smashed my face into a sidewalk a few months back and was sporting some awesome shiners until someone working in the building brought me her tube of arnica gel and I swear to you, after one application the bruising was much less. Good for little boy booboos too.

Brandi

Dang! You bruise like I do! I make one wrong move in my office and I end up with the giant bruise from hell on my thigh. Or I have a roll of wrapping paper fall out of the top of the hall closet, remain upright while falling and hit my foot and give me a bruise that hurts when I put my shoes on. True story. Happend this weekend. And that bitch hurt when it hit my foot!

Katie Kat

I know your bummed-out day was last Friday, but you have to see this video. No matter WHAT you feel like, THIS will make your day better - HA HA HA!!!
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/4489941/12035368

die frau

I totally take pictures of my colorful bruises. We just redid our kitchen floor and I've almost wiped out several times when I walk around there in socks. It's just a matter of time, really. Of course, I began to think, "What will happen when the baby starts walking on here?"

I'm not pregnant. Not even a little bit. I'm thinking of getting checked out for anxiety disorder.

That picture of Ezra made my DAY!

Maureen

Nice arm muscles. That Jillian Michaels is a genius, no?

Jay

Ok this needs to stop. I get through your post and have loads to say, and then I get to the end and then there's a picture oooooo squoosh squoosh nom nom babbah nom coochy squooch oooooo cooo bubba bubbah!!!

You understand, right?

Jessi

Whenever I fall down, I blame someone else. I just lie. My daughter beat me. My husband left tiny marbles all over the stairs.

A few weeks ago I told someone that my boss pushed me into a door, because I randomly walk into doors a lot, and they totally freaked out. It was fun for a while, but then I had to explain and explaining is never fun.

Suzanne

I also suffer from cyberchondria when it comes to my kids' symptoms. Stay away from the google and the steps. Both are dangerous for you.

Heather

Poor thing! (My arm looks like your leg after a flu shot.)

Plano Mom

So sorry about the fall, glad that beautiful baby wasn't with you. That photo would stop traffic, it's so beautiful!

Jenny

That bruise reminds me of the one I got from falling off my bike while mountain biking in Colorado a few years ago. I made it down 6 miles of trail, only to fall in the last 200 ft. It was the only black diamond (= steep and curvy) section and I knew I should have walked my bike down, but, hey, I made it this far I can do this! Yeah, right. Didn't make it 10 ft. I just fell over sideways, more or less, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been, no blood or broken bones. My now-hubby was already at the bottom of the hill, he had no idea what had happened. There were two other guys who started down the hill as I was picking myself up, it was a dirt trail and I looked like Pig Pen. They both stopped, asked repeatedly if I was ok, if I could make it down the rest of the way on my own, could I get my bike down ok, I was so embarrased, but they were so sweet to care! I finally convinced them that I'd be ok by indicating my now-hubby visable at the bottom of the hill through the trees and telling them he was waiting, I wasn't out on my own. So they went on, told my now-hubby when the saw him at the bottom ath 'she fell, but she's ok and is walking down'. He said all he think to say was, 'yeah, she's kinda a klutz'. The worst wound I had was a nasty bruise on my left thigh, which was in the rough shape of a bike petal (luckily I was wearing a helmet, since we found a dent from a rock I must have landed on in it). The bruise hurt but it was just a bruise, I'd live. Then the bruise finally healed (took 3+ weeks and kind of bruised a second round of colors in the middle of the first bruise) and left a DENT in my quadracep muscle. Not huge (about 2 inches by 1 inch and about a 1/2 inch deep), but visable and definetally detectable to the touch. At my yearly check up months later, I showed my doctor who was shocked that a) I didn't have it looked at before and b) there really is a dent there. She told me that I must have really done some tissue damage and the dent might never go away completely. For about 2 years I had a good story that started with, "wanna feel the dent in my leg" but it did eventually fill back in. My hubby always said that only I could fall down mountain biking, do no damage other than bruising, but have a bruise bad enough to leave a dent in my thigh. I guess I'm just talented.

Kelly

I fell down the stairs in September. My boyfriend still makes fun of me for it. It's nice to see I'm not alone.

Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

He'll survive the Christmas PJs. My grandma used to make us PJs for Christmas every year. I wore those suckers from December 25 to December 24 the next year lol.

Marianne

That is such a cute picture. I'm sorry about your fall. It looks very OUCHY, OW, SORE!

Hez

So I'm thinking that you have the very unique, very coveted gene that allows you to produce the cutest humans that ever lived. Love that face!

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