Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming Of Me Falling Down For Your Amusement

Delicious Whole-Grain Baby

So after all of that, this happened.


In part, I caved because Ez suddenly seemed ravenously, inexplicably hungry all the time and seriously tried to throw himself headfirst into Noah's plate of macaroni and cheese. It was also because there wasn't anything good on TV that night.

After the initial WHAT THE EFF? reaction, I must report that Ezra seriously loves oatmeal. Loves it. Two bites in and he had the whole spoon thing down and two nights in he knew when it was cereal time and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN, WHERE IS MY CEREAL? He's also skipped his 2 am feeding three nights in a row, although this morning we had our first real solid-food-poop diaper and oh. Man. I'd TOTALLY blocked that part out.

(He still loves the boobs, of course. This morning I had a dream where I kept trying to readjust my bra over and over again because it was stuck to me, like a suction cup, and I couldn't figure out what was going on until I woke up and realized that Ezra had somehow scooted up to me and latched on. He was also sound asleep. Take that, spoon! I am still totally his favorite.)


Speaking of Signs That I Am A Little Senile, after our first cereal feeding I gazed upon his messy, sticky, drooly, crusty outfit and thought, hmmm, what we really need here is some kind of protective space-age coverage device that would prevent some of that mess! What a fantastic, magical invention that would be!

Then I remembered that it's called a bib, you fucking jackass. The end.



Hold it right there, Ezra!!! Do not grow up too quickly!!


He IS delicious. He's making me want one in fact (a baby, not a bowl of cereal).


The last sentence makes the whole rest of the post perfect. Hilarious!


wow! he is doing so well with all the feeding stuff! good job Ezra!


Ohh, so cute! I'm so happy for you!

Actually, to be a little honest, I'm totally jealous of your wonderful nursing relationship with Ezra.

But, yay for oatmeal!

My Chipmunk absolutely loves his solid food - doesn't matter what it is, if it's on a spoon he wants it.


Bibs... what a magical invention!

Ezra is a champion eater. What a little rock star- he is really taking to the oatmeal in the pictures!

Parsing Nonsense

Awesome pictures! When we started my niece on rice cereal she laughed the whole time so it turned her into a giant bubbling cereal volcano. It was epically messy but also amazing.

Anonymous New York

So Ez totally looks like this cute baby version of a partner at my firm. But the picture of the partner on the web does not do the resemblance justice and I can't really justify going up to Len and saying "you look like this super-cute baby on the web, can I take a picture of your cute baby cheeks?" Now can I? But every time I see a picture of Ez, or Len in the hallway, I giggle.


OMG - I just LOL at the last sentence. I'm primarily a lurker, but just wanted you to know that even though it's been rough of late, you still have two amazing sons. Keep up the good work raising them!

Sprite's Keeper

I've had those moments before when my then nursing baby snuck up on me while I was sleeping and totally took advantage and it worked itself into my dream and then the next morning I slapped at my husband for trying to cop a feel while I was sleeping. Then I caught her once and blamed him for passing those genes onto her.
Good times!


Must pinch cheeks! Oatmeal filled cheeks!


Callum used to night latch like that too. And he started solids at four and half months -could not wait to eat either. And yes boobs win!


Mwah ha ha. Your charm is that you call yourself a "fucking jackass". But then again, I may have a skewed sense of what the word "charm" means. Meh.


He's just too cute for words. Makes me want to have oatmeal.


That is what I titled my post - CAVED! We totally gave in because the baby girl was staring at us hungrily over the past few weeks. We finally caved two weeks ago and she is filled with joy about this. I did however forget the messiness of eating and she totally rubs it in her hair. Rice cereal as funky What About Mary look... OY! Who needs a bib? I mean unless of course they make a plastic coating that you envelope your entire child in while feeding - that I will buy into!


Awww, Congrats for your first solid food Ezra.

You are hilarious Amy... a bib. You always crack me up.


HA HA HA HA HA! That last sentence about killed me. Ah, sleep deprivation.

Ezra is a cutie (DUH!). Glad he's enjoying his oatmeal!!


A bib? OMG what a GREAT idea!!

FYI - I've had the exact same brain damage recently with my 2nd kiddo. A few days ago, she peed. Everywhere. Imagine my suprise when I realized her diaper was only closed on one side. ONE side. And I was the one to put it on. Imagine using both sides? Maybe they would actually contain all the pee?


He is so ridiculously cute. Also, did you cut your hair? It looks fabulous.


Ok, he's so darn cute that it's making me forget that I spent the morning barfing because I'm preggo with my first. UUUUUGH. But apparently it's all worth it :-)


Yummy oatmeal!


We started my boy on solids at about three months because he would.not.fill.up. on formula. He mastered the rice cereal in no time, then onto the veggies and fruit ala Gerber. He would actually squawk like a freak bird thing when I took the spoon out of his mouth and dipped it back into the jar of baby food. Apparently, 4.295875 nanoseconds is too long to wait for your next bite. And now at 13? He is eating us out of house and home. And has about 4% body fat. Which is okay, because I've got the other 96%. What was I saying again?


My baby is 17 months and I still forget the bib sometimes (okay, a lot). Now if only he would eat oatmeal again. Oatmeal cookies on the other hand are very popular!


The Bumbo is an excellent highchair-like option at this age and is way easier to clean. We didn't even buy a high chair until O was 7+ months old. Yay for oatmeal but yay for boobies still being in the picture.

Mrs. Flinger

I SO TOTALLY have that same picture of my kid in the bumbo on the table. Dude.


Is cracking up because, you know. We're like that.


girl, you crack my shit up.


I totally once sat around in a tshirt thinking there should really be something you can put on your arms that would keep them warm. Then I realized there is something like that. Sleeves.


You really have the cutest kids EVER!!


I think my Mother in law thinks I am a total idiot sometimes because I suffer from bib senility. "I wish he wouldn't get messy like that." "where is his bib?" "oh...yeah."
I blame the lack of sleep and stuff. And pregnancy.


Please check this out. You are endangering Ezra by insisting he sleep with you. Referenced this for you because this was brought up again after mother was on GMA pleading for people like you to reconsider. She had smothered her son in his sleep. No drugs or alcohol involved and ruled as an "accident". Not really an accident when you are going against American Academy of Peditrician's strong counsel against this.


Wow, buzzkill from previous poster, huh?

Love Noah's expression of, "If that kid even ATTEMPTS to steal my sippy, it's so on," in the background.


I heart you Amy. (Even if you are a jackass*)

*You are totally not a jackass.


Also, shall I kick the person who posted right before I did?


"what we really need here is some kind of protective space-age coverage device that would prevent some of that mess! What a fantastic, magical invention that would be!

Then I remembered that it's called a bib, you fucking jackass. The end."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA...thanks for the laugh!


i think it must be second child syndrome because i also totally forgot about bibs.


I think the last two sentences of the post will go down in history. Amazing :D


I think the last two sentences of the post will go down in history. Amazing :D


Almost peed myself reading that last sentence. Brilliant.

I recently awoke thinking that my husband was being very affectionate, only to realize my infant was rooting my neck. Thank God! Because I did NOT have the energy for THAT!


Loved every bit of this. Thank you!!!

Brooke Williams

Yeah. Don't cosleep or whateverthefuckdowhatyouwant.

OMG We had two drawers full of bibs for my first but he loved food so much that he did not EVER let a drop of food fall. I had never seen such a thing. Now my 3 month old takes pride in.. spit bubbles. And not swallowing. Ever. And anything messy. So.. I am sure I will forget bibs exist about a million times now that I have a child that actually needs to use them.

Awesome post - glad Ez is doing well with the solid foods. Yay!


(I swear that "Anne" is my cousin who has a knack for pointing out your faults as a parent because she just wants the best for you and your child and you are obviously too stupid so she must step up. That's why I broke up with her 7 years ago and haven't looked back.)

Boobs always trump spoons.


Oh how I love you Amy! I LIVE for checking your blog daily. THANK YOU!!!!! :)


It's official: I can't even stand how freakin' cute Ez is.


Oh, I totally had that dream too! I would be adjusting my boob in my sleep and then realize, Oh, damn, there is a tiny human attached to it! Have to say that I'm glad the those days are behind me (though she is still going strong on the nursing front at 17 months--just not in *my* bed!)


PS: I had my daughter in England and had her in bed with me at the hospital--every single midwife who came into my room told me (without my asking) that it was completely safe and natural and not to worry about what anybody said. So there AAP!


So I was at the mall a while ago and there was this woman with a screaming baby and she kept saying "I know, I know you're hungry, but I forgot to bring a bib. I have your bottle right here, but I can't believe I forgot to pack a bib!" She had 3 employees searching the racks at winners for a damn bib but all they could find were outfits that came with bibs and she didn't want to buy a whole outfit just to get the bib. Finally she said "Oh I give up!" which I took to mean she was going to let the kid have a bottle even without a bib, but no she had just decided to go try another store. I offered her a recieving blanket (because I too had no bib, although I fed my kid anyway) and she said "but how will I tie it to her neck?" I fear for that child's future.
Ezra on the other hand, has got it good, crusty sleeper and all.


That last comment floors me! Seriously, give that kid a bottle! But, I had to comment because that baby is too cute for words - oh those eyes and that smile - they melt me. And, I was gonna tell you that you can also make rice cereal out of brown rice and all sorts of whole grains. I got this book "Super Baby Food" with my first baby, and while the author is a teensy bit crazy (IMHO) I liked a lot of her stuff. You can just grind up the raw grains of brown rice (or whatever grain you like - seriously, my first baby had like, millet, and other kinds of crazy birdseed-looking crap that he totally ate up - the other kids - not so much!) in the blender for about a minute until it makes a powder, and then you mix it with water and boil it for about 10 minutes, and you've got brown rice (or millet or oatmeal cereal) I think it was 1/4 cup rice to 2 cups water. And it made enough to last a about a week in the fridge. Give that baby a kiss and some boob!


OMG these pics of Ezra...he is just so freaking cute! Now I want to go to my almost 5 mo's pediatrician and have the rice cereal discussion. This wasn't even mentioned at our 4 mo check up so now I'm my son starving? Will he gobble up oatmeal? But I guess I'll wait until the 6 mo check up, or when he starts sneaking up to my b**bs while I'm sleeping. Although...hmmm...would love to skip the 3AM feedings.
Loved the last line. Classic!


OMG, you totally cracked me up at the end. Sounds like something I would say, and my kids are now 3.5 and almost 6. Your kids are ADORABLE. I love your writing and I admire you for keeping up your blog so well!


I too forgot about bibs with #2! I think successful breastfeeding does that to you... you forget about all of the accessories.

And yeah, the bumbo on the table totally gives it away that this is indeed the second child. ;)


Oh man, I have that dream ALL THE TIME! Or I dream that someone, usually someone really inappropriate, is twisting one of my nipples. This morning, I woke up and realized that there wasn't some sort of insect or alien creature burrowing into my shoulder, it was only the fingernails of my sweet little baby, trying to claw her way through to the front, apparently, to get at the stuff on that side. So I could dream about someone walking up to me, grabbing ahold of a nipple, and stretching it waaaaaaay out to the end of the block. (Why yes, I have in fact had that dream.)


The Cereal Song
(to the tune of "Physical" by Olivia Newton-John)
Let's Eat Cereal, Cereal
You wanna eat cereal
Let's eat some cereal
Let me hear your tummy talk
Your tummy talk
Let me hear your tummy talk

That will totally get stuck in your head.

Amanda B

Yeah for oatmeal and sleeping longer! I think hurling himself at big people food was a great clue he was ready. :)


I hope your boo boo's are healing okay and your boo bee's are well, doing as boo bee's do - mysteriously wandering the bed at night. :)

I didn't get a chance to tell my joke - and it's the best, so I had to post. :)

What did one tampon say to the other?

Nothing, their both stuck up bitches!!

I know - gross thought, but funny if you're a woman and since you let it all hang out here with the visuals of poop and lactation - I figured you wouldn't mind. Have a good one.


I gotta say, he doesn't really seem to have the time to stop and tell us how much he loves that oatmeal - he looks more than preoccupied by scrummy oatmeal.


Hey, if you don't have a bib within reach, a paper towel will do. And my two-month-old daughter totally has a crush on Ez. She'd like his autograph, please. On her favorite bib.

Amber Mc

Bibs are overrated... I wore one to lunch yesterday and all I got were dirty pants and funny looks, for some reason.


Aww, yay for oatmeal.


too cute, yay for oatmeal, boo for anne and gosh your baby and big boy need to be the new gerber babies.


I know it's because I too have the magical breastfeeding boobs, but I love being the favorite, even over Daddy. Who needs men and their useless nipples? Oh wait, me.


The last part made me laugh out loud. That was great - thank you!


I have those If Only... moments all the time, most often in the kitchen. I will announce that life would be easier with some device and it is met with, "You mean like a (strainer, potato peeler, whisk etc.)?"


That was a really great post - very funny and sweet. I love the way you write.


Why is trying to open someones eyes to a potentially life threatening practice considered nagging?

This LA times article in April, 2008 reported that in 2006, 44 infants died while sleeping with their parents, no drugs or alcohol involved. This was a 76% increase over 2005. AND THIS WAS LOS ANGELES COUNTY ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is it worth the risk? I bet every single one of those heartbroken parents would say no.

44. IN LA ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!! That is not ZERO. So it does happen and who's to say, not to you???

Los Angeles County officials Wednesday urged parents to avoid the increasingly popular practice of sleeping in the same bed as their infant children, calling the practice a “potentially lethal act.”

County statistics released Wednesday show that 44 infants died after they slept next to an adult in 2006, a 76% increase over the previous year. It was the county’s highest number of deaths ever associated with “co-sleeping,” the practice of sleeping in the same bed, couch or chair with an infant.

“These are tiny infants, who, someone, perhaps well-intentioned, took to bed with them … and they wake up and the child is not breathing,” said Deanne Tilton Durfee, director of the Los Angeles County Inter-Agency Council on Child Abuse and Neglect.


And you need to share this with your husband so HE has input into this too!


Oh dont feel too bad, I have re-invented many a common household item before realizing "oh yeah....that does exist".


Between the suction cup dream and the bib invention I'm snorting at my desk trying to hold in my laughter.

Catherine S

Yay for longer sleeping at night, boobs, and oatmeal. I am totally going to be making my own oatmeal and rice cereal from now on!

Also, I am so tired of the whole cosleeping debate. My babe sleeps in his crib for most of the night and then he comes to bed with me after his 4 am feeding, so I like a combo of both schools of thought. But I will be damned if I tell someone what is right for them. Seriously, enough already, can we move on? Thank you, that is all.


I LOVE that I am not the only totally GREAT mom who also has a potty mouth. The two are not mutually exclusive:)


Hey! HEY!! How the hell are all of you sleeping without nursing bras on?! I would please like to know the secret please! Or do you have super smart macguyver kids who can somehow unfasten them? Because I would LOVE to sleep without one but im afraid i would be changing my sheets every frickin day. Also? I co-sleep with my 6wk old and I'm TOTALLY on Amy's side here. I did it all 3 nights at the hospital and I tell you not one of those nurses said a WORD to me about it when they would walk in and see us. I believe it is up to the mother to judge wether or not she is capable of sleeping in the same bad as her baby without putting it in danger. That's my 2 cents.


Okay, laughed until I cried at the last sentence. Thanks, I needed that. : )


Anne you are not opening Amy's eyes to anything. I am sure you must believe you are helping out a clueless mother, but believe me all you are is a condescending, self-righteous, obnoxious, self-assertive and arrogant twit. Go post on some AOL message board for know-it-all moms and leave Amy alone. /end rant


P.S. Hi Amy - love you, kids are smooshy-cute, keep up the good work!


"people like you......" Nice comment about co-sleeping, Anne. How about a nice cup of shut the fuck up and go away? Ezra and Noah are the cutest kids EVER - my mom calls super cuties like this "TV babies!"


You are so funny! I love reading your blog!


Cutest. Baby. Ever. That's it, that's all.


Naked and then post-meal hose, our third has a different life entirely.

And, for the record though I know it's been said, those boys are crazy gorgeous!

Sarah @

The part about your dream?

Yeah, that made me spit out my drink. Thanks for making me laugh =) What a great story!


Wow. Such vitriol. Is this what Amalah was referring too when she mentionned the vicious debate that occurred here prior about breast feeding?

And that comment about how your Mom thinks babies like this are "TV Babies" is totally non-relevant to the issue. Implies your youth.

I actually REALLY care and I agree that Noah and Ezra are adorable. And this family does so much right.

But beyond that, no parent is beyond criticism or is perfect.

And this is a dangerous practice.

Before he retired, my Dad was one of this states' experts on SIDS. And he very, very strenuously is opposed to it. And he has SEEN firsthand the tragic outcomes. His profession????????


Lori I miss nursing my babies SOOOOO much!!!!! :( I did have to pry my second child off the boob though...around 19 months. I'll never forget him looking at me around 24 months saying, "you got milk in der Momma??" (sniff, sniff)

Catherine S

Totally irrelevant to this post, but I just turned on Food TV and your Mussel episode was on:)


while i'm excited that the big-people food has gone well for ezra, i'm kinda pissed that these incidents are another example of why my kid is a freaking freak. ezra has started skipping nighttime feedings? NOT MY BABY. 6 1/2 months old and still waking every goddamn three hours, needing a boob. i feel like she's on the boob all day, or has a bottle in her mouth, or is gulping bowls of cereal like it's liquid gold. growth spurt? i don't care. i'm tired.

but still, yay ezra! yay food!


Yes, Anne, my comment about "tv babies" was totally non-relevant to the issue. By that point in my comment, I was not speaking to you, but to the writer of this blog, to comment on how cute her children were. And thanks for the comment about my youth - I turned 39 last Thursday.


So, so cute! And I caught the last two minutes of the Bobby Flay challenge episode you are in last night on the Food Network. I was flipping channels and asked my bf "who is that? What was she in?" before realizing, oh yeah, I read her blog!!


I read this a lot but I am awful at commenting. But wow cutest pictures of Ezra ever. So, so adorable.

Plano Mom

Okay, the bib story was every bit as funny as the lost phone comment... welcome back to goofy land.


Amalah I have a question for you related to baby ezra, in this post it sounds like you have a co-sleeping arrangment (sorry I am only a little caught up on the last two months because I gave birth to my first baby in december) if you are doing co-sleeping I wanted to know how that is going for you. Zoey will be 3 months on monday and getting her to sleep has been a pain in the butt. She finally started sleeping for more than an hour at a time after I gave up one night and put her in bed with me. But I am getting a ton of flack from my family who is convinced that I will roll over on to her and squish her in the middle of the night / I am teaching her to be dependent and crippiling her ability to exsist on her own. Please tell me someone else is co-sleeping so I don't feel so bad!


Ha! Natalie. I advise you not to read this comment section too carefully, although there are plenty of co-sleeping defenders here as well. But yeah, we're all terrible, terrible ignorant people who are going to kill our babies because we are so terrible and ignorant.

(I had a whole long, eloquent and diplomatic response typed up for you, Anne. But then I went poking around your comment history and realized that for all your claiming to be sooooo concerned about me and my children, you've left some really nasty comments before. So instead you just get this: shut up, already. We get it. Hijack my comments again and you're getting deleted, because it's tiresome.)

So. We co-slept "exclusively" for three months and then started the transition process once I sensed that he was waking up more because I was THERE, not because he was really hungry or anything, and I started like, walking into walls during the day because I was so tired.

Transitioning IS hard and a pain and not immediate. A really strict, regular bedtime routine helps, along with swaddling and a crib aquarium. (Oh, and napping in the crib, whenever possible.) We were keeping him up later, but now have found that getting him in bed by 9 or 9:30 extends his sleep time. I generally hope for one long-ish stretch in the crib and then he comes back to bed with us until morning so I can nurse and doze for awhile longer.

For awhile that first stretch ended around 2, and then since we started oatmeal (at dinnertime, around 6) he started sleeping until 5. Last night I gave him brown rice and he slept until 7:30. !!!!1!1 Of course, tonight he could wake up at midnight. It's a process. A long, long process. (I know plenty of people who co-sleep until it's time for a toddler bed though, so whatever works for you, and honestly it's nobody else's business where your kid sleeps. Unless you blog about it. HA.)

I cannot speak for Ezra's crippled coping skills and ability to exist on his own and his massive Oedipal complex, know, HE'S A FOUR MONTH OLD BABY.


Honestly dont remember leaving any "nasty" comments before. Ever. Didnt leave any this time either. Didnt hijack the column - maybe 3-5 people responded.

Please refresh my memory. Or send to my email.

You just dont like criticism once you have made a decision.


So our boys must be on the same schedule. Just started mine on cereal this week and have the blog to prove it ;-)


That's so funny about the bib---I just found a bib in one of our "not often used" backpacks (we aren't good unpackers around here) and thought, why do I have this? My kid is only 3 1/2, but I have totally blocked bibs out, too.

I caught the Moules Frites episode of TD again last night, and all I could think was, "There's an Ezra there, too!" Those moules definitely agreed with him, because he turned out seriously cute. :)


Bibs, schmibs... No seriously, that's one thing (the only thing, really) that frustrates me about my daycare. They never put a bib on my son. He has really cute clothes (ALL gifts) that I'd really like to pass down to *someone* ... but they're all going to be stained with pasta, banana, or whatever else.


I am so glad I am not the only one who forgot about bibs. I kept thinking there must be a way to keep milk/spit up/drool off of my 8 week old. It was only when I saw another baby wearing a bib that I remembered the 20 million bibs I had gotten as baby shower presents. I blame sleep deprivation.


Ezra is truly adorable! And I don't want to leave Noah out - he is a very handsome big brother :)

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