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January 2009
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March 2009

Let's Go To The Zoo, Part Three

Oh, but God help us, we went to the zoo. Thefuckingzoo, yes. We've been basking in downright lovely weather for a few days, and so, because I am freaking raging batshit crazy, I suggested that hey! We should take Noah to the zoo! It's free! It's outside! We'll see some animals! Get some exercise! Check in on those goddamn pandas. I'm sure the zoo no longer fucking sucks anymore, I mean: Obama. Right? Everything in DC is magical again. Results were fairly typical. The whole place smells like poop, is STILL under construction, the pandas were sleeping, the monkeys were... Read more →


I Didn't Make My Bed Today But I Sure As Hell Will Lie In It

So we bought a new bed. This is easily the most exciting news to hit our little household, at least since the last time I created an entirely new family member in my uterus. Our little double bed has always been one of those things we preferred complaining about to actually, you know, sacking up and solving the problem, but now with a dog and a cat and a baby and a really very pointy three-year-old, plus two adults with at least seven old injuries from times we got drunk and fell down sports, and...let's see, carry the one and... Read more →


Writing Checks Your DVD Collection Can't Cash

Or, Why I Didn't Post Yesterday So. For the record, Noah has been successfully potty-trained since the summer. At least, in one -- ahem -- aspect of the undertaking. The second -- cough -- aspect has been kind of a no-go, and my word, am I making a lot of unintentional puns already. POOP. I AM TALKING ABOUT POOP. This is, apparently, super-normal, and considering the kid lives on a diet of bread, cheese, milk and bananas, we had Bigger Issues to worry about. Bigger Issues I have no interest in documenting, except to say that constipation + stubbornness =... Read more →


Breathe In, Breathe Out

My phone rang on Saturday at the exact wrong time for the phone to ring. Screaming baby, whining preschooler, misplaced shoes and house keys and that stupid plastic Piston Cup that has suddenly become the most beloved and cherished toy in the world, although apparently not beloved and cherished enough to NOT CONSTANTLY BE LOST. I let the call go to voice mail. When Jason's phone rang a few seconds later, I froze. "It's your mom," he said. But I already knew that. I grabbed the phone and fumbled with it for a bit -- my palms had gone completely... Read more →