Seriously, when you find yourself changing sheets and locking doors and confiscating various toys o' hopped-up stimulation for one kid while trapped in an endless nursing/crib/cry/nursing/crib/cry cycle with the other, eventually you need to come to terms with the fact that:
1) there is not going to be any afternoon free time during which you may flee to the computer and write about your feeeeeeeeeeelings on your blog, and...
2) as soon as you hear your husband's key in the lock you can open a beer without the whole "drinking alone and in front of the children" thing and COME ON KEY SOUNDS DON'T LET ME DOWN.
Happy Friday, bitches. Here's a photo of my baby mid-crazy-bounce in his jumper thing, complete with mid-crazy-bounce eyes.
Hey cool! My mama drinks out of BPA-free bottles too!
In other news that I can type really fast without my brain needing to get involved: a long, long time ago it was decided that I would continue the Zero to Forty pregnancy thingie over at Alpha Mom, in the form of a postpartum guide, just "as soon as [I] settle in and get [my] act together with the two babies thing."
I have not gotten my act together by any stretch of the imagination, and yet, Bounce Back launched today. New entries will be posted on Tuesdays, just like the pregnancy calendar. Yes, I certainly do have a lot to say about this reproduction business. In another six months I'm clearly going to need a new angle, as there's always someone funnier, younger, hotter, and way pregnanter than you out there on the Internet these days.
Anyway, it turns out postpartum is a difficult topic to write definitively about, since everybody's experience is so different, so even if you haven't had a baby super-recently I'd love it if you stopped by and chimed in on the various subjects with your own personal no-holes-barred and lochia-is-not-sparkly-unicorn-poop story. The plan is to turn Bounce Back into the most real and informative and UNIVERSALLY TERRIFYING record of what happens to a woman after giving birth in all the land. Together, we can stop the global population crisis! Huzzah!