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March 2009
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May 2009

Evaluation Nation, Part II

God, these things are getting boring. I've got them down to a science: Trot child in, answer questions, watch child stack blocks and complete puzzles and string beads, curse self for neglecting to cut child's long fingernails that are now caked with dirt because SOMEBODY has been reading The Snowy Day a little too much and wants to make snowballs out of EVERYTHING, including the mulch outside of school district office buildings, watch child absolutely excel years beyond his calendar age in educational concepts, watch child struggle with scissors and crayons and get increasingly agitated and line up toys obsessively... Read more →


No Day Like Today

Noah's next big evaluation/assessment is first thing tomorrow morning. I've been busily anticipating it all day by not thinking about it. And blowing bubbles in the backyard. Then going to the playground. (The enthusiasm level was higher than in that last photo, I swear, since it's not 900 million degrees today.) Now everyone is running (or sort of lolling and flopping) around the house with no pants on and I don't exactly know what happened to everybody's pants, but I'm going with it. (Typical late-afternoon decline in quality childcare standards, I suppose.) There will pants tomorrow. And a lot of... Read more →


Meaningless Milestones

We upgraded Noah to a "big kid" booster seat this weekend. It did not go well. It is not going well. I'm not surprised -- honestly, the last time I bought him new SOCKS did not go particularly well either -- but there was no getting around it. Had to be done. Ezra's toes are hanging over the edge of his infant seat and I've been willfully ignoring that fact for a couple weeks and will continue to do for a little while longer, since I need Noah to finally accept the New Seat before the Old Seat reappears with... Read more →


Defeatage

Look, unless something spectacularly hilarious happens to me in the next five minutes, I'm posting photos AGAIN and calling it a week. It's either this, or I could talk about who's puking in our house this time. Oh, the thrill. Feel it. YOU FEEL THE THRILL! So...I don't know. I guess the couch could collapse while I'm typing, or I could trip and fall on my way to the bathroom, and maybe my back-up laptop would go flying out of my hands and land in the toilet in a Poetic Trifecta of Technological Irony. I guess that could happen. I'll... Read more →


Tick Tick Tick Tick

Wut's this? Another photo entry? Two in a row? I judge. I judge HARSHLY. But wait! Here comes the excuse: Jason took MY similar-looking-yet-naturally-completely-different-and-non-compatible power adapter by mistake this morning. You know, because I have done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about the dead Macbook, other than sit and glare at it, because I'm so terrified that I'll find out that none of the data will be recoverable, therefore sitting and glaring seems like the less-scary, more procastinationlicious option. This means I'm still using an ancient Windows laptop that came with two batteries: one really small one with about two hours of juice... Read more →


So You've Gone & Left Your iPhone in a Bathroom Stall at Nationals Stadium

Some handy steps and pointers: 1) STOP TAKING YOUR PHONE INTO BATHROOMS ALREADY, ASSHOLE. 2) Call phone, repeatedly. Curse out the automatic voicemail messaging service lady. 3) Head to Guest Services and the Lost & Found. Blank when they ask you to describe the phone. "Uh. It's a phone? 'Bout this big? Grayish/blackish/silverish? Supercute photo of this here baby *gesture to baby asleep in your cleavage* as the wallpaper when you turn it on?" 3a) Blank even blanker when they ask you for a phone number in case the phone does turn up. Run outside to find husband and ask... Read more →


Six Months

How? How how how? How are you six months old already? Don't make me bust out with the "but it feels like only yesterday!" cliches, young man. But seriously, weren't you a tiny smushy little newborn a few days ago? Oh, mighty Ez, it's going by so quickly it hurts. Everywhere we go, people ask. "Is he always this happy? Is he always this good?" And I have to sheepishly admit that yes, you are. You smile at everybody, and they of course smile back. How could anybody not smile at you, all round and satisfying and Gerber-baby perfect? I... Read more →


Evaluation Nation

Where do I begin? On the one hand, I'm glad I never got around to writing that entry about all the fabulous leaps and bounds we've made with Noah over the past couple weeks -- at least not the version I had in mind, which was puff full of Confidence! We've Turned a Corner, Everything Is Fine Now! We're Totally Going To Rock This Evaluation Wheeeeeee! (I just love setting myself up to look like a complete jackass on the Internet. I really do.) On the other hand, I'm glad I at least mentioned it, because otherwise you'd all probably... Read more →


So Many Entries to Write, and Yet I Give You This

I am losing mah mind over here, people. You know it's bad when I start breaking out the phonetic Southern accent that I don't actually talk with. 1) My baby is SIX MONTHS OLD today. Six! Such a random number to get worked up about, I know, but six! Half a year! Totally in need of a long detailed entry about the state of every tiny little thing he does! But who is going to write that, I ask you. WHO? All my ghostwriters called in drunk. 2) Noah's evaluation with the school district is TOMORROW. At the crack of... Read more →