Home Sweet Wine Rack
And Then I Threw Up. The End.

Because the world should stop, just for a moment or two

I've been working on a post all day. A sentence here, a sentence there, half a sentence interrupted by someone who needs something and the perfect punchline ruined by an inexplicably truncated nap and whoo boy, I would probably make one hell of a prolific mommyblogger if it weren't for all these damn meddling KIDS.

But. Then. I cannot stop thinking about baby Maddie and now, oh no, not more, not again, baby Thalon and my hands pull away from the keyboard and wrap themselves around my baby's fat little body instead, my strong, solid, healthy little boy who is drooling all over my arm -- he of course prefers my arm over the dozens of toys and rattles and lovies I've tried to tempt with today -- and I try not to imagine all the ways things can all fall apart, all the unhappy endings and missed miracles and the idea that your own heart will just stupidly KEEP BEATING even after your baby's stops and OH YEAH, let me get right back to working on a post about some dumb thing I said or did because oh, that Amalah! What has she gotten herself into now? It feels wrong for that, today.

Others have said more, and said it better. I just needed to say that I am so sorry, Heather and Mike and Shana and Rich. I am so sorry.



I am going to go wake up Alison from her nap early, just to hug her cranky, cracked out self.

There just aren't any words.


There are no words to express my sorrow for all of them.

Jessica V

I just called my daycare to see how my kids are doing. This kind of news makes me want to tear myself away from my work and rush over there to hug them. And, as tough as it is to even think about the pain these families are going through, and as much as I came to your site hoping for some comic relief today, I'm glad you posted this. The prayers, thoughts and support flowing to these families will not take the pain away, but hopefully they'll feel it in some way and know that we are all thinking about them.


I keep passing parents on the street. I just want to stop them and say "please hug your child a little tighter today"

I texted my family at 2 am after finding out about Maddie. All the text said was "I love you"

Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

I'm sorry too. I wish we could take these things away.


And still you've said it better than I could have done. Nothing we do seems the right thing, right now.

But I do know I need to keep my little one(s) close right now.


Prayers to the families. And to all the families who have to endure the pain of loosing a child. Just thinking about something happening to one of my children makes my heart hurt.

When my son was 18 months old I attended the funeral for the 18 month old son of my former co worker. Something you never ever forget.

cindy w

Well said. So, so sorry for the families and loved ones of baby Maddie and baby Thalon.


So incredibly sad. Have been thinking of both of their families so much.

Courtney D

Perspective, right?!? It just doesn't seem fair. And, yes, I spent my whole day smooching the hell out of a cranky, nap deprived baby and an inexplicably frustrated toddler- knowing that when horrible things like this happen, all we can do is hold on a little tighter to the things we have and sob huge tears for the things that others have lost. Such a sad time.

Sprite's Keeper

My heart breaks every time I read about it and I have to hug my own little girl a little longer.

Abra Leah

I know. It's all so hard to wrap my head around. It's like back 5 years ago when we were all just trying to get through a pregnancy without a loss. I've lost so many pregnancies..but I just cannot even imagine the horrible, deep hurt of losing an infant. My heart breaks for their families.


Ugh. I haven't even tried a post. Maybe later this week. It's just SO SAD.


I am so sad. I have tears streaming down my face. My heart just breaks for these parents.

I must know, though. What happened to Thalon? I've never read her blog before today and I can't find anything to explain his way too young death.


I am so sad. I have tears streaming down my face. My heart just breaks for these parents.

I must know, though. What happened to Thalon? I've never read her blog before today and I can't find anything to explain his way too young death.


I am so sad about this.I am also feeling a lot of anger that it has come to this for Shana to get the readership she deserves. Her writing is very brave and wry.


"the idea that your own heart will just stupidly KEEP BEATING even after your baby's stops"
Yeah, those are the right words.
love to them and everyone who's ever lost a child.


@Meegan: Shana's voice is so strong, she's so real and brave. Not to mention hilarious. I just started following her blog recently and was so saddened to learn about her baby boy's passing. A few of Shana's blogger friends have written some lovely tributes to her family and set up a Paypal account to help them cover funeral expenses. You can check that out here: http://one80three60.blogspot.com/


This post, though, heart-wrenching was perfectly written. I don't have babies of my own, but your post made me call my two little nieces and tell them that love them more than anything in the whole world. To which the youngest replied, "Auntie, don't be nooshy." Which I think means "mushy."


This was a perfect reminder to be so so thankful for everything, every little thing, we have, and thankful for the world's worst pain that we haven't had to endure. Those poor families.


Oh, that's so horrific, those poor famiies.. I'm in a foreign country right now and all I want to do is hop a flight home to my babies so I can hold them.. this is going to be a long day.


this is so heartbreaking there really arent any words.


Oh, God. I have never in my life been so grateful for obnoxious kids. As much as they drive me crazy, there is NOTHING I wouldn't do to keep them here, their precious little hearts beating.

I cannot imagine the pain of those families; I hope it helps a tiny bit to know they are not alone.


I hadn't heard about Thalon. :( Why is this even possible to happen? It should not be possible for babies to die. Period.


Those little angels are the 2nd and 3rd babies I heard of in a week. OMG what is going on? All I can do is rely on that Italian Catholic faith that God takes his angels at Easter when his gates are wide open. Otherwise I too will drive to preschool and grab my little man and hug him until he says,"Settle down, Mommy!"
Here is another link if anyone wants to pray for another family. I apologize ahead of time...


Me too. That is all. Just... me too.


Amy, your blog helped me so much in dealing with his death. It was great to think about something else and to laugh!

Please write about all the stuff you were going to write about. The families will appreciate it.

Parsing Nonsense

I hear you, the Internet's been a very tragic place of late. It's appalling how their little lives seemed to just disappear and I can't even imagine what their parents are going through. The idea that they're playing in Heaven right now is a nice one, I think.


So unbelievably sad... there are no words.


OMG. I want to leave work NOW and pick my sick little babygirl up from daycare. She's only a day older than Thalon. This is scaring the shit outta me!


sadly, i won’t find out why my child died unexpectedly for another 3-6 months due to toxicology and cystology reports and quite frankly, it doesn’t matter because he is gone. GONE! never to smile at me with carrots oozing out of his mouth, never to crawl around and eat dust bunnies off my very dirty floor and most of all he won't be around to give me great big slobbery hugs. The kind of slobbery hugs that have stained my shirt of which i haven't taken off from last Friday when he had a beautiful love-fest all over it. i just might wear this disgusting shirt to his funeral on Friday because it's the only thing i have left with his smell engrained in it.

i’m hurt, mad and inconsolable.

The comments to this entry are closed.