And Then I Threw Up. The End.
Evaluation Nation

So Many Entries to Write, and Yet I Give You This

I am losing mah mind over here, people. You know it's bad when I start breaking out the phonetic Southern accent that I don't actually talk with.

1) My baby is SIX MONTHS OLD today. Six! Such a random number to get worked up about, I know, but six! Half a year! Totally in need of a long detailed entry about the state of every tiny little thing he does! But who is going to write that, I ask you. WHO? All my ghostwriters called in drunk.

2) Noah's evaluation with the school district is TOMORROW. At the crack of 9 o'clock. And I've got a whole entry about THAT percolating in my brain, in which I confess that the last couple weeks have actually been w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l and we've made a lot of great p-r-o-g-r-e-s-s and now I have NO idea what to expect from him tomorrow, like I think there might be a chance we get sent home with zero services and I think I might be okay with that, because seriously: w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l. But the minute I say all of that out loud I just know I will jinx everything and come home tomorrow feeling like a truck up and ran over me, hence the s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g, which probably doesn't work so well on a blog, where everything is spelled, unless the universe gets easily confused by hyphens.

3) My dad was back in the emergency room yesterday, and this time was finally sent home with a new diagnosis other than effed-up lungs: congestive heart failure. Which I know is not quite the death sentence that the "HEART = FAIL" implies, but oh my God. He's already ON every medication in the world, he's already CHANGED his diet a million times over, he's already had TRIPLE GODDAMN BYPASS SURGERY, so...just between you and me, I would still like to tell the u-n-i-v-e-r-s-e to go f-u-c-k itself.

4) Now that I've maybe got a few of you feeling all sorry for me, please allow me to send you elsewhere! There's a new Bounce Back up, where we're talking about the things you wish somebody (fuck you, somebody!) had told you about breastfeeding. I'm also contributing (for a few weeks, anyway) to Clean Freak Confessions, one of those sponsored site things that I have to sheepishly ask you to maybe consider commenting over there and/or thumbs-upping my entries so the sponsor is all happy happy? Y'all are VERY good at making the sponsors happy, I must say, and for that I want to lick all of your faces. I have entries up (so far) about washing cloth diapers and how cleaning can help families coping with illness. Yes, the topic of the site is cleaning. I assume I shall run out of topics in about...oh, already.

5) And hey! Speaking of places to click and read and comment, look at these morons over here at They look familiar. If you're one of the two or three people who have copped to being driven crazy by my refusal to tell you what our "girl name" was, I finally caved and revealed it to the interviewer, because what's the point? If I ever have another baby you just know it will be another boy. Probably twin boys. Or someone will leave an entire soccer team of boy babies on my doorstep, wrapped in Thomas the Crazy-Eyed Tank Engine blankets.

(And in the non-selfish realm of pimpage, check out my lovely new Twitter background & design. It looks like a real blog, where I actually remember to say things and update occasionally! Imagine that! Anyway, the folks at Sweet Blog Design can make one for you. Look, I'm on Twitter, I use Twitter, I totally still do not fucking understand Twitter, but I hear it's all kinds of important and the celebrities and the destroying of traditional journalism and all that. So you better make sure your profile is pretty.)


Kristin I really first. Happy 6 months to your wonderful little boy!

I am thrilled to hear about the progress you've made and hope you have a wonderful evaluation with Noah tomorrow.

Hoping and praying your dad's health stabilizes.

Now, off to click on links.


Sorry about your dad's diagnosis -- crappy indeed --- but congrats on SIX MONTHS!!! He looks so awesome --- you are doing a great job.


As a guy reading your site (weird, right?), and an expecting father in less than three months (no, not freaking out at all), thanks for all the tips you give. I pass them all on to my wife who is too busy being pregnant to find good information on her own.

Hope your dad gets better.


Evie...I like it. My friend (who also has two boys) told me that if a couple already has two kids of the same sex, there is more than 2/3 chance of getting another of the same if they try again. No idea where she got her stats, but I can believe it.

Name your 3rd son Everett and call him Evvie.


Happy 6 months (not-so) little guy!

My 2yo's evaluation with Early Intervention is T O D A Y. In TWO HOURS. *puke* I'm so nervous. We've also been making good progress in the last few weeks, but still... PUKE.

Good luck with your appt :-)


Thinking about you and the eval. today. We're waiting on a classroom eval. to finalize our IEP. I wrote you on Facebook about this...but I would bet money Noah is like Drew...just a late talker who is getting there on his schedule. Keep up the great work and I'm praying for your dad.


I, too, am surrounded by guys in my house. Even my dog is a dude. I'm positive I will have a whole football team of smelly, farty boys.

And then I'll have to buy me a girl cat and force her to wear all of those Florence Eiseman dresses I bought when I was "sure" I was having a baybee girl.


I'll keep my fingers crossed for y'all tomorrow!


wow 6 months old! I can't believe how quick that went by!

good luck tmr! I will be thinking of you and Noah!

Sorry about your dad, I can't believe all the crap he has been through, he is a fighter though thats for sure! sending prayers his way!


sending your dad good thoughts. i hope tomorrow will go w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l-l-y and whoa six months already, huh...


6 months already!?? Wow that wa quick! Saw Sweetney's link to the Washingtonian article, congrats on that and you can just weedwacker the tiny lawns of a townhouse - we do! (is that white-trash??!!?)

And sending some positive, blood-pumping, healthy thoughts your dad's way.


Evie! That's one of my two choices for girls names, though I would use it as it is (not short for Evelyn). Of course, I'm not pregnant yet...but it pays to be prepared, yes?


Let's see- 1. Happy 6 month birthday, Ez-man! 2. Will send big positive vibes your way for tomorrow's eval. You show 'em, Noah! 3. OH. Congestive Heart Failure, I've been there. If you ever need to just vent, want to rant about how fucking unfair it is, please email me any time. Or I'm @Table4Five on Twitter. 4. I don't know how you, Ree, Heather, Liz, and Kristen have time to write for ANOTHER blog! Geez Louise, do you ever sleep? :)

5. That Washingtonian article ROCKED. Have been to the Baltimore Aquarium, my boys still talk about that trip. We even ate at the Hard Rock Cafe afterwards, just to be completely touristy about it. I think that about does it for my comments :)



Evie is my cat's name!! lolol

(We got her on Christmas EVE a couple of years ago.)

Hope your Daddy keeps fighting.


Just slightly off-topic, but I'm pregnant with my first baby and my husband and I are seriously considering cloth diapers. I know you're super busy and have little time to give advice after caring for two kids and everything else going on, but if you have time in the next six months (because I'm due November 6), would you mind shooting me an e-mail about cloth diapering, or even just posting an article? Specifically, I'm interested in cloth diapering as it applies to runny newborn poop :0) But I'd love details. Lots of details. Even completely disgusting details.

I really appreciate it!


Best wishes with your eval. We just finished the whole school district eval/observation/oh my god/red tape thing. They sent the reports today.

Our almost 3 year old has been in speech therapy for a year and a half and has been kicking major ass. At least we thought so. The school district seems to see things differently. So on Friday morning we are going to observe a Pre-K Intervention class they want him to attend and then we meet BACK with them on Monday to discuss their plan. I dunno. I am very conflicted, because when I look at my son I see nothing but a perfect, funny, smart, sweet and undeniably nomilicious little boy.

It can be a frustrating process, but hang in there. Just remember, you know your son better than anyone.


Loved the Washingtonian article. Your hair looked FANTABULOUS in the photo!


It's not much to make you feel better...but my grandmother lived for several decades after being diagnosed with congestive heart failure and didn't pass away until she was 87. It's not the death sentence it used to be, and god knows gramma was still working the polls and helping out at fire department functions basically until the day she passed away. But happy thoughts in your direction - having a parent in the hospital with something is by far the worst thing that I've experienced yet (granted...I'm only 22...but hey it still sucks).


your hair looks really purty in the washingtonian pic. yay for the queen of the advice smackdown!

Parsing Nonsense

Your new Twitter background is really familiar, but I can't quite place where I've seen it before. Curious...Looks great though.


Evelyn! That's my first choice for a girl! Only i'm pretty far from trying to have a baby, but whatever! It's good to be prepared. And I can't believe that people don't get the name Ezra or think it's a girls name. Duh!


Now you're totally going to end up with twin girls. Ha!

Jen L.

I can't believe Ezra is already 6 months old! Wow!

I love Evie. My friend's daughter is named Evie, short for Evelyn. Very pretty and feminine, but with room for spunk!

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis. Keeping y'all in my prayers.

Love the Washingtonian article! My MIL emailed me to say "One of those bloggers is in the Washingtonian today." It's like we're a tribe of lepers...


Best wishes and thoughts to you! Congrats on your little boy, he's precious!

Your hair looked spectacular on the Washingtonian article! How did you do it?


Great interview over at Your twitter background looks weirdly familiar... :)


I've been following you since a little before Noah was born and have a daughter born a few weeks after him named....

Evelyn (Evie)

A great name that everyone declared 'old lady-ish' a few years ago, but now the name is popping up everywhere. It even broke the top 100 names list this past year.

Anyhow, good luck with the evaluation and best wishes to your dad.


I didn't see any morons over at the Washingtonian site...only two of the cutest boychirrens in the world, along with their mommy who has way better hair than me ever. (not liking you for that.)

Best wishes for your dad, and for your mom coping.


Holy smokes! That pic of you on the Washingtonian is FAB-U-LOUS!

another C

to C - she did an article about cloth diapering in the advice smackdown. it was a month or so back - check the archives.


Make Way For Ducklings! I love that book. Of course I'm from that area and grew up going to the swan boats so maybe that has something to do with it. National Building Museum...really? For the kids or the grown ups? My boys really liked the building zone but the 3 grown ups found most of the museum blah.

Prayers to your Dad. I dread my parents having health issues.


C - here's a link to the thing I wrote about cloth diapering.

I'd now give bumGenius an edge over Fuzzi Bunz in terms of leaking when wet (though I prefer the FB's snaps to BG's velcro, and the FB's fit Noah better) and value, since you get an insert AND a doubler with BG, and I wouldn't buy the rice paper liners again. (They stick to little boy parts rather uncomfortably.) Still totally dorking out about them, though, and will never go back to disposables.


kris - I've never even bothered to look at the rest of the museum. I set Noah loose in the building zone and then plop down in a corner and play with my iPhone the whole time. I'm super involved like that.


Hi Amy! I was going to say 'good luck with Noah's evaluation' but you know, you never know if you want things to go well or not ... as you pointed out a little while ago. So I'll just say, I hope the result of the evaluation is good for Noah! Also, I will share with you my trick for not jinxing things: it's *rhyming*. As in, "my newborn baby slept for plix sours last night."


Long time lurker here with a beautiful 7 month old daughter named Evelyn (after my classy, spunky grandma), whom we call Evie for short (EH-vee, not EE-vee, and yes I'm neurotic enough to care). I confess I'm a little worried that it will become a trendy name, though... I like the old-fashioned uniqueness of it.


I'm sorry to read about your dad. That must be tough to go through. Other than the things that were a touch sad, your blog is truly hilarious. Thanks for putting it all out there!


I heart you. I have no idea how you manage to write these blog entries when you have so much going on in your life. Thinking of your dad.

Emily M

2Amys rocks! I've only been there once (I live in CT), but I have dreams about their pizza -- and it was a perfect place to take my 4-year-old and 10-month-old after the zoo (and we WALKED there, in July, with only a single stroller . . . it's amazing I still speak to my husband).

Good luck tomorrow. I know what it feels like when the w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l comes crashing down.


I just wanted to echo everything Elizabeth said- my grandfather was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure and still lived to 91.

Congratulations on 6 months and good luck tomorrow!


I've tried three times to leave a comment on your Washingtonian interview. If it finally worked, yay!

If not, blame their server.

Or possibly, the wine I had tonight.


Best of luck at the evaluation!

I'm so, so sorry about your dad. I feel that same way, that the u-n-i-v-e-r-s-e can go f-u-c-k itself. I'm tired of illnesses and death and bad news, all around.


Ok, I feel better about the museum now. I actually like museums and..well..was very bored at this one. Building zone totally saved us. My boys are 4 and 7 and I think they would have stayed in there all day. Aside from the 2 year old that was knocking the other kids on the head with toys.


I have an Evie! My Evelyn! They turn out OK though kind of squealy. And it still is pretty rare. We've only run into one other one in eight years. If you did have an Evelyn, it's unlikely you'd run into mine, as I am two time zones away.

Excellent taste!


Um... well, I'm thinking of you guys ... I hope the evaluation is going well... :-/

Sarah @

Happy six months to your adorable little boy =)

And I hope that your father is on the mend sooner than later! I'll keep my fingers crossed =)


Nice little interview, there. Glad to see you kept your character. :)


I hope your dad is better soon. For what it's worth, my stepdad has lived with "congestive heart failure" for over 4 years. His blood pumping capacity is at about 30%. You would never know it. He is not the picture of health but he certainly does not look like a sick man. Hang in there, sister.


My grandfather just died this month, and while that's NOT what you want to hear, among his many, many other health problems, he lived with congestive heart failure for YEARS. Like 10 of them or something. So it could be better than it sounds!


Between that breastfeeding article (and other posts on the topic) and the diaper/laundry article (and, see above) and the OhMyGodSixMonths! thing, I swear, you are peeking in my windows here.

Also, because I'm a big dork, and a stater of the obvious, I just gave you an award on my website:


Um, yeah. Let me try linking to MY blog and not YOURS!


I replied to your twitter about your dad and now some lady won't stop replying to me, and I was only joking. Remind me never to do that again!

I hope your dad improves though. And that picture of you, Noah and Ezra is freaking cute.

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