To Do: Drive to Doctor's Office, Walk in Door, Fail Spectacularly
Breaking: Movie Stars Are Short, Need Sandwiches

Clobbed

So I didn't update yesterday because I couldn't think of anything to write about. Some half-formed possibilities included:

Wow, Gee Whiz, But Lots Of People Have Similar Problems With Their GPS Unit, Howza About That

Pooping On The Potty as a Diabolical Stalling Tactic

Didya Ever Go Too Long Without Logging Into Facebook and Then You Log In and It's All Like, Whoa, And Stuff?

This Coffee Tastes Like Shit

I came very close to settling on possibility number five, which was: Here, Have Some Baby Pictures. But for some reason Jason took our camera to work on Monday and I have not seen it since, and honestly Ezra has been so PARTICULARLY CANTANKEROUS since getting his vaccinations on Tuesday that I don't feel too badly for letting this week go by un-photographed. He pretty much looks like this:

>:-(

Only, you know, louder and more 95th percentilish.

Then I was going to write something about my boobs, because they have been up to no damn good lately, as in my once abundant reserves of milk appear to be d-r-y-i-n-g u-p no matter what I do, no matter how much I nurse or funky tea I drink or Fenugreek I choke down, plus the baby WILL NOT STOP BITING, and then my period started and I got all weepy, but I was afraid if I wrote that entry I would: 1) jinx things even more, 2) get tons of assvice, 3) accidentally talk about my period.

Wait. Fuck.

Then I tried to do a little interview with Noah like this one Linda* conducted with Riley, but..um...yeah, it came out a little more like an interview with some kind of keyword-powered googlefail bot than I thought it would. Perhaps we'll try it again next year.

What is something I always say to you?

I don't wanna play the question game. I wanna play the monkey game.

What makes me happy?

Smiles?

What makes me sad?

<pulls skin on face down to create dramatic frowny face and reveal interior of eye sockets>

How do I make you laugh?

<fake laughs>

(Mother slowly getting the sense he doesn't quite have the who/what/how concepts down yet.)

What do you think I was like as a little girl?

A beautiful girl. A hot girl.

(That is correct, sir! Finally.)

How old am I?

Two.

How tall am I?

No. You cannot be tall. I say no.

What is my favorite thing to do?

Lie on my couch.

What do I do when you're not around?

<turns around in circles>

If I become famous, what would it be for?

No.

(The rest of the questions were pretty much more of the same, with just a few variations on "No" and "NOOOO" and <silence> and inquiries about the whereabouts of his tractor, his toothbrush and his butt.)

*I'm meeting her tonight! In person! For the first time, despite owning a ton of her maternity clothing. Huh. We're attending a FANCY RED-CARPET MOVIE PREMIERE together. For a kids' movie, but we're not taking our kids, and now that I've at least posted SOMETHING to my stupid blog, you must excuse me, because I have figure out what to wear and also hopefully lose 10 pounds.

Comments

Melissa

Oh Oh! Can I request that you write about: Pooping On The Potty as a Diabolical Stalling Tactic!!

We have that issue in our home which makes me absolutely batty! I'd love to amused by your wittiness!

RJStewart

On the (whispers) boobs and the (whispers softer) period thing - lots of women notice their milk supply goes down when they get their period. Don't know how regular you've been since Ezra's birth, but it may rebound when all that unenjoyable crap is over (as if you needed more damn hormones, right?)

Lori

An incisive interview. Just like George Wayne in Vanity Fair!

noelle

I used domperidone (has to be compounded at a special pharmacy) for milk supply issues and for me (and for Alexa @ Flotsam, I believe) it worked like a charm, much better than fenugreek. A good lactation consultant pointed me in the direction of a family medicine doc who prescribed it for me. Best of luck. ~noelle

Amalah

RJStewart: This is the (whispers softly) first period I've gotten, actually, so I'm hoping that will be true? I started having problems a couple WEEKS ago...having to supplement (which with the BITING, I didn't exactly mind) after feedings, being unable to pump anything, etc. I shall keep hoping that I'll see an improvement in five to seven *&$%# days, though.

(I smell like maple syrup again, from the fenugreek. Good times!)

Sprite's Keeper

Wow, Ezra's picture is so... techy. I like the flesh version better!
Yup, the supply goes down when the month comes up. Weird, but whenever I had a pasta dinner, my supply went up. There's my assvice. Have fun at the premiere!

M.G.

Our son isn't a big fan of the question game either, he has some speech issues. He has trouble with the who/what/where concepts, so the questions are just extremely frustrating for him. He is six now, but we would have gotten a similar response from him at Noah's age.
Sorry to hear about your milk supply. No one seems to warn us about how problematic breast feeding can actually be. Hope things right themselves soon.

Jill

I am crying from laughing so hard at this post, Amy! Like, seriously, I can't stop laughing. It's taken me a full minute to type this comment from all the body-shaking laughter. And now it's time for a cupcake.

Andrea

I really love reading your blog because where you are at with Ezra is right where I'm at with Jack. Almost 7 months, biting, periods and drying up to boot. Hmmm, maybe I should write about it on my own blog, except I'm not as funny...

Kristen

I took reglan for supply issues, and it worked magically. I couldn't even believe how much milk I had when I was taking it. I had previously taken it for morning sickness, so I already had on hand, but maybe your midwife/ob could prescribe you some?

Jen

More un-asked-for advice: Try More Milk Plus instead of plain fenugreek, eat oatmeal daily, and drink a dark microbrew. Getting your period is probably why your supply is tanking. And keep nursing as much as possible. Give Ezra some Motrin since teething is probably causing the biting. Good luck!

Tammy

I'm so jealous. Two of my favorite bloggers within 50 miles ... together. I'd probably scream as if I just saw Elvis if I happened to see the two of you together. And now I'm going to slink my stalkerish sounding butt back to my corner!
I really should not be allowed to comment without thinking it through first.

Susanne

Don't feel bad Tammy. I read your comment and totally agreed!

MsAndra

I love you. Tha end. I'm currently having the same drying up issue, but CJ is only 4 months old! Maybe it's the (whisper) period thing.. Maybe soon? I hope that's it! Anyway I'd also love to hear about the pooping as a stalling tactic thing because my 3 year old is doing that very thing currently and I'd like to be able to laugh about it.
P.S. My Coffee tastes like shit today too.

obabe

ditto on the more milk plus reccomendation. my supply totally dried up at 8 mos when i got my period back with my second son. (whos about the same age at noah)

currently? am dealing with my 8.5 month old refusing to nurse after being bottle fed for 15 days while i was in the hospital for 5 days and then finishing a course of meds not safe for breastmilk. pump n dump is my new curse word. boo.

LOVING that you were a "hot girl" when you were little.

melissa

you had me at cantankerous. because that is one of my most favoritest words.
have fun at the premiere.

Jgamma

Okay, this sounds really mean and will probably sent a few people around the bend, but it really works. When he bites, tap his little cheek (gently!),then shake your finger at him and with a very annoyed face say "No Biting". I swear, he will stop!

a

Since somebody else brought up the idea of speech issues with who/what/when/where/how questions, I thought I'd add my 2 cents. The grammar of these questions is actually pretty complex, and it's normal for a 3-year-old to have a lot of trouble with them. By age six, a kid with normal language development should pretty much have the hang of them. Lots of kids with speech and developmental issues are slow figuring out this type of question. As with everything to do with child development, there's also lots of individual variation.

Often, kids can understand what you're asking if you ask it in a different way, though. That can be as simple as putting the wh-word in its spot in the sentence, instead of at the front ("The puppy kissed who?" instead of "Who did the puppy kiss?"), or try using leading yes-no questions ("Did we go to the zoo yesterday? No? Where did we go yesterday?")

Hillary

I'm with Tammy -- if I were to see you and Linda out on the town, I would probably act like a teen girl catching site of the Jonas brothers.

I am not ashamed.

kris

Have fun at the museum seeing the museum movie. A night out without children and with a girlfriend. Woo Hoo!!

marcoda

Holy frig! I haven't even read past "Pooping On The Potty as a Diabolical Stalling Tactic" yet because I had to say my 3-almost-4 year old daughter did the EXACT SAME THING last night at bedtime and at the time I thought, "Well, this is new." Now I'm thinking this is something all three year olds try at some point. In my case, after 5 minutes of waiting for "it" to happen, I kicked her off and sent her back to bed because her and I both know it does not take HER 5 minutes to poop.

OK, now I will finish the post.

Heather

dude! you're going to the Night at the Museum premiere!!

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/goingoutgurus/2009/05/celebrity_gawkers_wanted.html?wprss=goingoutgurus

Awesome. Awkward celebrity encounters must be reported.

Erin

Pooping On The Potty as a Diabolical Stalling Tactic

That is the story of my life too - I don't want to not let him stay on the potty if he's actually going to go...but I've discovered that if it doesn't happen within the first 2-3 min of sitting down, it's not going to happen, no matter how many books he wants me to read to him while sitting there. It's all about not wanting to go to bed/nap!!

You're too funny. Good luck with the milk (not) drying up!

Kendra

Oh, are you going to the Night At The Museum premiere? Thanks to the ad where Darth Vader shuts Oscar's trash can, my 3-year-old calls it "The Star Wars Sesame Street," and he is dying to see it. You'll have to let me know if it lives up to its title.

Yes, pooping on the potty, biting, and periods are taking up a lot of the space in my brain. We have a pooping chart, and when it's full, he gets a toy he's had his eye on. But it's only got one X at the moment. Lansinoh helps with the bruising and bleeding (yay!) from the biting. I have no great suggestions to stop it, but I have heard some people suggest smushing baby's face into your breast. It doesn't scare or hurt them, but they get surprised and have to pop off to breathe. When my daughter was going through that, she was committed. Like, more than once, I had to scrape her little teeth off me--leading to my search for solutions to the bruising and bleeding.

I hope it's all better soon--or at least a little bit of it is!

MelV

Ok let me first just say that if I found myself in the room with you AND Linda I have no doubt that i would lose my ability to form sentences. Love you both!
Also, girlfriend you are not alone with the rogue milk supply. About 5-7 days every month my do the same stupid thing and i end up in a weepy puddle b/c WOE! She wont wait for my slow let down tiny supply, early weaning, histeria!! BUT, so far it keeps coming back and she keeps waiting. Let us all send a little milky prayer up for each other shall we? Also, I use Lacate Support capsules in my "down" times. Theyre on Amazon if you want to look em up.

Suzie

More assvice - my supply greatly decreased at the same time as my period turned up at the same time as daughter began biting.

Keep offering it to him, if he bites you, try again later. He's probably biting you 'cause it's not coming in quick enough. Or it tastes funny :)

After two or three days of this happening to us, it's all back to normal. Good luck!

Michelle Madayag

Oh. Ma. Gawd. You and Linda? Together in one place? Squeeeeee!!!!! What I wouldn't give to be there for that. Only not, because I would be too shy to come talk to either of you anyway. But...yeah.

April

If you did lose 10 pounds by an chance at all, could you please share the secret? As I am currently Googling "how to lose 10 pounds in 48 hours" and am open to suggestion.

bethany actually

Thank you so much for posting his answers. His, "A beautiful girl. A hot girl," still has me laughing.

And just think how much fun it will be to ask him the same questions in a year and compare the answers!

Erin

More Assvice on the Milk Thing:

At around this age, many moms experience what they think is a drop in supply. It might just be that Ezra is getting more efficient. It also might be because of your period. MANY moms have a dip in supply every time they get their periods. Should rebound when it's over or close to over.

The biting may be because of the milk not coming out fast enough for his liking. It also may taste different during your period. He will hopefully grow out of it soon.

Fun fun fun!

Devon

Amy,

You should consider the email button used on Sundry Mourning. Then no one will miss a post, and you increase the traffic to your site. Get on it woman!

Starbuck

My favorite parts were where Noah thought you were a beautiful girl, nay a hot girl and also that your favorite activity is lying on the couch.

Even the most amibtious of people are relegated to lying on the couch after becoming parents.

Starbuck

Also, let me know if you are in need of more coffee that does not taste like shit. We're headed your way in July and I am available for orders then, too.

Genevieve

It looks like the other advice/sympathy you received about the drop in supply is what I would say. I went through that with my son. So I feel ya on all of that.

Where did you get this shitty coffee?

Myg

best post ever. i must really mean it because i'm bothering to comment with 1 hand tied behind my baby's back and the other wiping A gallon of spit-up off the other. and no caps. see?

MommyNamedApril

some smart lady probably already wrote this, but i'm too lazy to read all the comments before mine, so i'm going to say it anyways...

with my second child, when i got my first period, my milk supply dropped WAAAAY down, but the week after it ended, my supply went back up to normal... ALSO, my baby bit me the whole time i had my period and another wise woman told me it was because the taste of your milk changes slightly while you're on your period... and, you know, that pissed the little fellow off.

soooo... maybe that helps? maybe not? in any case... hope your problem resolves :-)

Kim

Amalah and Sundry in the same place at the same? That's kinda my blog-y wet dream (in a totally non-sexual way).

LaLa

This one made me laugh at loud. "No. You cannot be tall. I say no."

Bless.

2kidz1Momz

My son's day care did this interview, they made a mother's day card from it. For "what is her favorite thing to do?" he replied "play with me." Which is exactly the right answer to make me cry.

Of course for "Color Hair" he put "gray like mine" (I think he meant we're both blonde). OMG. Honey. We need to talk about mommy's delusions of youth.

Jenny

Hey Amy, just echoing the nursing assvice. My supply drops when I ovulate, and then again (more dramatically) when I get my period. It was really bad the first time I got it after having the baby, but less bad subsequent times.

Biting...oy...I'm sorry. Sadly, no tips here.

Mary

If it helps any, I nursed all three of my kids to huge sizes, like 30 lbs by age one. And I remember, especially with my third one, right about the time my period came back, they went on strike. With my last one, it was so bad, I rented a pump to keep me going. She was having NOTHING to do with me. Until a couple of days later, she did again. And we nursed until she turned one. Hang in there. It's probably temporary, and will get better in a couple of days.

Leah

My supply seems to be down this week too and OH HELL NO it better not be my period returning. I haven't missed that AT ALL and am. not. ready.

Hug and kiss Linda for me. Or, you know, tell her a dirty joke; she seems to like that better.

Jo

Seriously, periods dry me up too. I've had 3 so far (baby is 9 months) and each time I swear I'm going to have to give up breastfeeding. I can't stand smelling like fenugreek anymore either, it's almost as bad as fake tan. I'm going through a weaning debate in my mind right now and I just can't seem to do it. I know she'd probably be fine with bottles, or even just replacing one feed for a while, but it's all about mah preshus feelings and that stupid 1 year goal. It's really hard.

Anyway, have a blast at that premiere, and if you lose 10 pounds, me and all the other moms out there are going to personally come and whoop yo skinny ass.

Noah rocks my face off.

chris

Wow,that's pretty bad for an almost 4 year old. Some of the questions are complex, but he should be able to answer better than that.

ksmaybe

Assvice, but it sounds like lots of ladies are experiencing the same thing-which is common, supply dips when your period returns. I tried Calcium supplements-read about it at askmoxie first, then KellyMom. Here's a link from kellymom that gives dosages, etc.

http://www.breastfeed-essentials.com/menstruation.html

The biting may be related to the drop in supply. You've already got lots of other things to try for the biting and other ways to try and boost supply in the comments and your own ideas. Best of Luck!

Amalah

(OMG, is Chris trying to suggest that my kid has some kind of speech delay? Think I should like, look into that or something?)

Jo

I think Chris needs some time on the naughty step. I bet he's the one with the kid who rolled his eyes about Noah saying gween. Actually, maybe he IS that kid?!

Heidi

I tired one of those Q & A thingies with my 6 year old recently. Every answer revolved around cleaning and picking up. What makes your mom happy? When I clean up. What makes your mom sad? When I don't clean up. Oy.

Sarahd

Here's my 2 cents: I do not recommend trying to pump a lot to get the supply back up. It took me two months of period=supply drop, end period=ENGORGEMENT! to figure out what I was doing to myself. Ouch!

Ana

Biting assvice:

Babies can't nurse and bite at the same time--the tongue has to be moved out of the way first...SO, try observing him, especially if happening toward the end of feedings, to catch that moment when he "stops" before he bites. Could be, as already suggested, related to flow or taste. But could also be part of the normal "biting b/c I'm done and goofing around" or "biting b/c my gums hurt" or "biting b/c mommy made a funny noise when I did it last time and hey, wouldn't it be fun to make her do THAT again".

Immediate removal from breast (I'm talking just moving him back and away from the breast, not setting him down necessarily) while saying, with a serious face, "biting hurts" can also have enough of an impact; as he comes back on to the breast you can also smile and say "no biting". He is still very young to get that connection consistently, though, but, if the biting is persistent, it it a message that you want to get across anyway...

Good luck!

Diane

I totally second/third/whatever the calcium/magnesium supplement thing. My period came back full force and regular by THREE MONTHS postpartum, both times, despite fat babies and tons of nursing. Lucky me! The first time around, I didn't know about the calcium/mag thing, so I suffered. Baby suffered. There was suffering. This time it is SO MUCH BETTER. I take the max recommended by KellyMom ... the lower dosage did nada for me.

Sorry about the biting. We're not quite to teeth yet, but I'm cowering. COWERING.

Diane

Oh, and she totally gums me during my period as well. Because let's just add injury to injury while mama's nice and grumpy. After paying really painfully close attention, I've noticed she scrunches up her nose a little right before she's about to do it. Now I yank her off before she gets a chance. Probably not the same for everyone (or anyone?) but maybe it will help some random comment-peruser or something.

Keri

drink beer...the good stuff (magic hat, samuel adams and the links)-it will help increase milk production. nurse more often, esp before feeding baby solids. call lactation consultant for help if nothing works.

Erin

FYI! Have 7-month-old, also milk seems to be going away no matter what. Whew! It's not just MY defective boobs. I was going to return them!

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