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The Report

Let's Make It Official

Look, I totally won a major award:


The rest of y'all can suck it, frankly. Or else face the VEINY HANDS OF COMPETITIVE FURY. RAWR.

This award came as a complete surprise, as I was the only mom at the preschool Mother's Day party to forget a camera, thus missing the class performance of "Mommy Is My Sunshine." My friend* offered to make me a copy of the video she shot, so I'll at least get a copy, albeit a copy probably focused on the wrong kid. But whatever. You can't be the center of attention ALL the time, Noah. Especially not in mementos of your own childhood. You might grow up to be a blogger, or something equally hideous.

*Also known as the 4:20 Playdate Mom, who I think I can safely call my actual friend now, as we are set to have playdate number THREE today, oh my God. Will I have to put out? Does my hair look okay?  Should I wear my Phish t-shirt?** My #1 Mom Award? Because I won't lie, I still haven't taken it off, nor do I really want to.

**I would wear my Battlestar Galactica t-shirt, but I wore it last night to the Star Trek movie. Which: OMGEXPLODEYAWESUM. You should take your mom to see it this weekend, if your mom is anything like me.***

***And by "like me" I mean an AWARD-WINNING #1 MOM BOO-FUCKING-YAH, SUCKERS.



Wo, wo, wo....I am the No. 1 Momma! My sweet, gorgeous babies said so!! lol
Have a great Mommy's day!

Grace Guinevere

Wear the pin and tell her that Noah wouldn't let you take it off. And yes, so you will have to put out so drink a little wine and shave your legs.


Very cute award! And I second your Star Trek fabulousness because I saw it in IMAX last night and it is now my most favoritest movie EVER.


who-larious post of random stream of conscienceness. Love it! Happy Mom (2x) day!

Sprite's Keeper

Dude, don't I get even a consolation prize? After all my efforts to hover over my kid during drop off, you'd think the teachers would at least give me an honorable mention! They haven't done jack at her school!


Whoa! Congratulations!!!!


Congrats on the award and glad to hear the Star Trek movie is totally awesome!


Seems like someone might be feeling a little better?? I mean being named #1 Mom would tend to have that effect on someone I would think, you know if I knew anything about being a Mom, much less one to be considered #1! Happy Mother's Day!


Congratulations! Wear it with pride.


This is the sweetest post ever, and your shirt is freaking adorable.


Hoping the husband puts together something equally awesome for my first 'official' mothers day. I'm thinking a crown and a sash would be fitting. Also -- that top you're wearing is cute!


Dude! I don't know which to be more jealous of...that awesome #1 Mom pin or the sweet-ass lens on your Canon.

Also, it is the fiance's turn to choose a movie tonight. I know it will either be Star Trek or Wolverine. After your endorsement, I will totally be pushing the Star Trek!

Parsing Nonsense

Sweet, I really want to go see the Star Trek movie but Wes has been reserving judgment so I'll assault him with this info and see what he says.

Congrats on being the #1 mommy, you deserve it! I'm certain if Ezra were capable of fine motor coordination he'd have pinned it on you himself.


You've always been Number 1 with us!

Happy Mother's Day, Amy.


lol ive been reading your blog since before Ezra was born but never had the guts to comment. I swear my husband is tired of hearing about "the girl who has a blog" and "but shes so funny so listen to me!" as I tell him all about your posts.

By the way Star trek was awsome!!


I am not the #1 mom this year and here is why:
My 3 year old presented me with a brightly painted pot she made complete with a flower she planted in it, for Mother's Day. The flower was starting to fall over so I absent-mindedly said, "Oh my flowers drooping!" and she said forlornly, "I guess I didn't do a very good job then".

So I punched myself in the face and gave her a cookie. I suck at mothering sometimes.

Shave your legs but only just past your knees.

Donna P

Have a wonderful, Happy Mother's Day, you No. 1 mom, you.


I'm a long-time Trek geek and I was a little worried that the rebooted series on film would somehow dishonor The Original Series. I'm happy to say that the movie was all I'd hoped it would be and more! The young actors all do such a great job of capturing the spirit of their characters, and the effects are just beautiful. I highly recommend it!

Wacky Mommy

Happy Mother's Day, chicky.

Wacky Mommy

also forgot to tell all of your sexy mama readers HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, KITTYCATS!


I'm relieved the Star Trek movie doesn't suck. But in one sense it does, because it's PG-13, and that means that my husband will not sanction me taking our oldest (who would TOTALLY wear his own Dr McCoy shirt, and carry his phaser, if I let him) to go see it. I WANTS to see it on the big screen. The fact that it came out on Mother's Day weekend should be a sign that I was meant to see it. Geesh.

Plano Mom

Karen, talk your hubs into going as a FAMILY event for MOTHERS DAY, with the promise you'll come home and have a FAMILY DISCUSSION about all the PG-13 parts.

You so deserve that award! So nice to read it, especially after the last "I suck" post.


man, now I'm totally bummed that I did not arrange babysitting so that we get to go see that movie this weekend. Dang it.


Congrats on your major award! And on having a playdate with a mom you want to impress!

I get like that too. I put on eyeliner when the playdate mom is girl-crush material!

Jennifer txmomof3

hate to be terribly shallow but love the shirt/jeans/belt combo not to mention the camera (I have all four as well, or at least very reasonable facsimiles of them... in fact if I showed someone that picture, they'd be SURE it was me b/c we also have the same hair). except I don't have the award. yet. but do now have something to strive for.
good luck on your (play)date!


I am wearing my toaster shirt this very minute. But won't make it to Star Trek until tomorrow at the earliest.


Yeah my mom cut me out of my own kindergarden graduation video [by accident] and I am still bitter. We have footage of every kid except me, sigh.


This post made my day. And I'm so totally jealous of your status and the medal/ribbon. Happy Mother's Day - you're a great mom.


I got a necklace made from foamies flower shapes and 2 potted marigold plants. (I love marigolds...reeeeahly I do!)
NEITHER of which say "#1 MOM nd I am totally and utterly jealous of your Major Award.

I'll send you a copy of MY son singing "Peace Like a River" with his classmates during our Mommy and Me Tea with all of his dramatic flourishes if you want?

"I've got JOY like a FOUNTAIN!!!"

Happy Mother's Day, Amalah!!


Us country folk don't go to movie houses for Mother's Day -- we go to the rodeo. (But I definitely want to see it because I keep hearing how excellent it is!)

Happy Mother's Day, Amy!

Overflowin Brain


I hear they reserve the #1 mom awards for only the most kickass of the preschool matriarchs.


congrats, well deserved!! happy mother's day!!


happy mothers day!

good luck with playdate #3 and your hair looks great!


OH puhleez! I bet all of you have kids! Everyone knows you're mothering skillz are at their height before you have kids. That's when you actually know everything and haven't made any mistakes. Since I'm childless, I'm the only real #1 Mom here.

I hope all y'all had a great Mother's Day!

and, Amalah, I like the way you have your thumb cocked in the photo. Like a gun.

Alison @ cluck and tweet

Now I just feel bad. Thanks.

Sarah @

=) Well happy mother's day, even if I'm a day late. I can see that you didn't really need my well wishes though. That award should about take care of it!


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gina in fl

i keep giggling over the 4:20 playdate. what am i , 12?? if she's cool, glad you got a friend.. maybe you can teach her what it means.. tell her you "heard " that was what it means..

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