My Boys
Oink

That Thing You Do, Illustrated

"What are you DOING to him?" Jason asked.

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"What?" I asked innocently, while adjusting the zoom on the camera. "I just wanted some pictures of those faces he makes when he does that thing -- when he cries the minute I walk away and stops once I walk back and..."

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"And..."

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"Okay. Yeah. Maybe this isn't the type of parenting moment I really want documented."

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"Eh, look, now he's fine! Hi, happy baby!"

"That was still kind of mean."

"I think that's the kind of call only the Internet can objectively make."

Comments

Bug

Ha! I say you need to document EVERYTHING. How else will you remember?

kate b.

i recorded my daughter making pooping grimaces the other day and i think you can hear my husband saying "so mean!" in the background.

i love ezra's pouty pictures! my daughter makes the same face and it cracks me up.

Kelly

Someday you'll need to be reminded that he still needs you.

all things BD

SO not mean. I have a classic picture of my youngest venting pure rage at me as I happily snapped a picture of her. Fiddle dee dee!

Sprite's Keeper

Of course the Internet is objective! And this just proves what most mothers claim when they have to leave baby for a few moments to pee/cook/BREATHE. You're actually doing us all a favor. So thank you!

Sarah Lena

I declare this NOT mean. I declare it cute and squishy.

Especially when you can scroll down the screen really fast.. it's almost as good as a flip book.

Julie

So cute. Totally acceptable.

Jennifer

My 7-Month old does the same thing... to which I declare, "Faker!". It sort of cracks me up though. How on earth can they act like their world is ending and a split second later be laughing and cooing and happier than ever. Slightly bipolar I say.

Tara

I expect you to do whatever it takes to entertain me, as a member of the Internet. If that means Ez cries for a few seconds, so be it--it's in the name of Art, or something. He'll be okay, and he'll NEVER remember this. Right?

Seriously, though--love both the pouty face and the happy face. He's a doll!

Sils

When my nephew was about 2 my sister got him a bear in the big blue house costume for halloween. He HATED that costume, I don't know if he thought someone had skinned the bear or what...

Anyway, some of my favorite pictures of him are of him sobbing his fool head off in that costume. Oh, and my sister and I laughed our asses off the entire time because it was the most pathetically cute thing we had ever seen. I think we actually laughed so hard we cried...

so, uh, yeah, no judgement here.

Also, he's 10 now and an honor roll student... he turned out all right. He's not looking for a rooftop and a rifle... yet.

Lorena

Officially adorable. And also necessary. The crying of the baby must be documented. It shows...responsibility as a parent, that you care enough about his tears to record them.
Ahem.

Stacy

Nope. Not cruel. Just parenting. If we didn't laugh we'd go crazy.

Shelley

I think it's pretty funny...but maybe that just makes me mean.

jenn

Hilarious! Messing with your kids is one of those perks they don't cover in the parenting books. I do it all the time.

Maria

Objectively? Not mean at all. In fact, quite neccessary for us to see the cuteness that is Ezra! Am I mean if I think that his crying face is just oh-so-cute? As is his happy face, of course. And thank you for going to the trouble to document this for us. Very appreciated.

Christina

OMG I was just telling my girlfriend how I love this stage and hate it all at once but mostly I love it... It makes me feel so WANTED. Which, can we say PATHETIC together!?

Also, what a good idea to document! Er I mean ah bad you. Seriously going home to photograph this as well!

beyond

a teeny bit cruel. but so very entertaining that even erza will chuckle about it in 20 years...

Bug

My mom used to carry a picture of me in her wallet that showed me at age 3 pointing at an owie on my hand and wailing. Only picture she carried of me, for years.

NG

If you can't be mean to your kids for the internet's amusement, then what's the point of having them? (Maybe that isn't the type of parenting moment I really want documented either.)

Mrs Soup

I have so many pictures of my daughter crying. My husband asked me why and I had to explain to him that I don't want her growing up thinking she never cried. We must document the good with the bad.

That, and she just makes the cutest little pouty face!!

Missy

I think Jason needs to lighten up. One day Ez will think those pics are hilarious.

L

decidedly NOT mean. just really really funny.

She Likes Purple

That first one is so fantastic. Obviously in a very not funny, heartbreaking way, of course.

Chris

My husband and I took a picture of our daughter propped up in the corner of the couch, screaming her head off, because we wanted to document "tomato head" - when she screamed and cried, her entire head turned red just like little tomato! Must have those moments on film. Computer. Whatever.

ADH

Nah, not mean. Just a reminder of how much he loves you and how he doesn't want you out of his sight. So no breaks for you! I've gotten used to using the bathroom with my 2 year old son practically sitting on my lap when I forget to close the door ALL THE WAY. Or a child that will knock on the door repeatedly asking "momma? momma? MOMMA????"

jessica

please. MEAN is when your child falls over out of the boppy they were sitting up in and rather than assist, you LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF and take more pictures as they scream all red-faced and "HELP ME BIOTCH!" like. And even then, "tehfunnay" outweighs the "questionable moment in parental judgemnet" stuff.

aimee

I like the comment about the flip book--you need to make one! It is adorable. Though, I don't know how you ever leave his sight! :)

Emily

He is so stinking cute, I can't even handle it!!!!! Even when he is upset he is adorable. I have to tell you - you make pretty babies!!!! Noah is beautiful as well.

lisa

ehhhh, babies cry, that's how they roll. That's not to say he won't use this against you at some point...

Anyway, he totally looks like a jack-o-lantern in the 3rd one.

Becky

That baby is edible.

ndc

Hysterical - I'm going through it with my 9 month old. When Ezra's kids do this to him in 30 years, THAT'S when it will be funny as hell.

Starbuck

I don't think it's mean. I think it's preshus.

Jessica

I love baby frowns. My 7 month old was told "no" for the first time by his daddy last week and the frown on his face followed by the wailing was adorable. I wish I had it on camera!

Jenn

The second picture? He totally knows the score. That's what makes it funny, not mean.

Julie

Hilarious!! I have a wonderful picture of my then five year old daughter throwing the fit of the century. I couldn't get her to stop, so why not amuse myself? I am sure it will come in handy someday.

Maria A.

Totally not mean. Necessary for proper scrapbooking and/or childhood bloggy-type documentation, in fact.

You would think it was his first kid or something.

Kristin

Nah...not mean at all. That's something that absolutely has to be documented.

Missie

What an adorable little despot he is!

Kimba

That bottom lip is a killer.

Keri (Auburn Gal Always)

I'd totally do it too.

Kathy

My second-youngest (4 at the time) fell of his tricycle and howled 'cuz "It hurts, Mommeeee!" and, I, um... took his picture which I then entered in a photo contest and WON FIRST PLACE! WOO!

So... no judgement here, either!

Ginnie

Oh, do I miss those days. He's delicious. Save it for when he's a teen and is only happy when you leave the room. Then you'll be the one crying. Sorry!

Candice

This kid makes my ovaries ache! To nom-nom-nom-able for words.

Candice

to= too

Alicia

haha! so cute, not mean, these are moments we need to see :)

Susan

He makes the most precious pouty face! He looks so sad!

Plano Mom

One time when my son was a little older than Ezra, we were at a family get together and my husband and I left Matt with my mother. My brother, himself the parent of 4 children, would say "where's Mama?" every time Matt's cries would die down. This was all in the name of entertainment, and I don't think it was mean at all. You'll need those photos when he's 13 and acts like he hates you.

Kendra

The last two pictures crack me up. He has such an accusing expression, like "You've made your point, why are you continuing to torture me?" Followed by such beautiful relief!

I should see if I can accurately document the levels my 14-month-old goes to when I don't let her bang on the keyboard. She's making her angriest face right now. Oh, okay: ...////;

(That was her)

Cautionary Girl

We totally have the same couch. Crate & Barrel.

Molly

One day when he's a teenager you'll whip out these pictures and go "SEE! there was a time when you loved me so much that you cried if I left your sight"

Sam

We call that look "sad face baby"! Far too cute.

kris

My god he is soooo cute!! And what a nice excuse for whatever doesn't get done during the day. They become independent soon enough. Enjoy!!

Jess

Your child looks slightly stoned in that last picture...is he stoned? You got your child stoned?????

Kevin

It's all for your art! That excuses everything, doesn't it? Besides, it was gonna happen on it's own sooner or later right? Why not document it?

Gotta admit that when I read the story of how he cries when you leave the room, I kinda needed to see it for myself. Thanks for sharing.

bunnybear

Ahh the things you do for us lol.

Haley

I love his face in the second picture! There is nothing wrong with documenting this. Now, if you were to take pictures of his first poo and mail it to his college dorm, then there might be a problem. I don't think we ever let my college roommate live that one down. Especially not since the bottom of the poloroid said 1st "e"...e?

amanda

I'm sorry... every mom HAS to capture "the lip" on film at least once. :) Not to mention... tears, drama, and tantrums... it helps us to realize that they always had that dark side when they finally become teenagers... LOL. At least... that's what my sister tells me. :)

amanda

Look at that smile! Totally worth the temporary feeling of abandonment. ; )

charlotte

You realize that you'll be paying for this later ... in terms of countless therapy sessions for Ez in which he complains that his mother publicly HUMILIATED him and now he can't even look at a cloth diaper any more without falling apart ...

Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

It's pretty cute, whether it's mean or not!

lindz

kidlets torture us ALL the time, it's only fair to do it back once in awhile, although, I would hardly call walking away torture.

Meg from Ga

I don't care what anybody says...you HAVE to have that documented! Trust me...when they get older, you wonder if they love to see you AT ALL! That is just the sweetest smile that a mother can see!

Rachel

Love it! What are kids for if not to be tormented by their parents :) Plus, even the sad faces are sooo adorable.

Samantha

I can't believe how many people say it's not mean. It's most definitely mean! No question about it. His little face is so cute, but it's because you did a mean thing to him!

Lori

I just think somebody ADORES his Mommy, and that is pretty darn awesome...I sure do miss those days in a freaky, I would almost deal with the all nighters kind of way!!!

Amanda

BWAHA!! Totally not mean. What a scrunchy little face he has, then with the big goofy grin. What a cutie. (It's not like you were pinching him to get a picture of the cute face. Not that I've ever known anyone that has done that. It was my sister. THERE I SAID IT.)

samantha jo campen

That lower lip just KILLS ME DEAD.

Pictou

Of course you have to document it. It makes perfect sense to me.

We used to make my youngest sister "tune up and cry" by saying Pooooooor little girl, poooooooooor little baby.

She would poke out her bottom lip and and we would watch to see how long it would quiver before tears fell.

Liana

Ezra should teach pouting classes. He's an expert! A very cute, chubby expert :)

Shawna

So cute! My son does this as well and now I've just GOT to photograph it...

ClassyFabSarah

Not mean. Hilarious. Actually, really stinking adorable.

Emily

You could just gobble him up. He adores you!

missmismeliss

Ez = totally busted in front of the whole interwebs.

missmismeliss

Also, he has the cutest little nose.

A

Would anyone *really* think that's mean? I mean, sometimes you are going to need to walk away from your kid anyway, so it's like, extra practice. And the resulting pictures are so ridiculously cute that it's like you've done a good deed for all the rest of us.

Stephanie

Internet says: Not mean. He's obviously just pushing your buttons. He knows he's an adorable baby who no one wants to see cry.

Laura

Recently, my daughter turned one. Because I am crazy, I spent all damn night putting pretty much every video we've ever taken of her onto a DVD so we could watch it on our big screen TV.

There's a video I titled "Help, I'm Standing and I Can't Get Down." Pretty self-explanatory, really. Gwen, at 8 months old, pulls herself up to standing with the help of the table leg, then has no idea what to do next and proceeds to squawk with a mixture of fear and annoyance.

So we're watching this video, and Chris says "Honey - I'm not judging - but, um, did you ever consider putting the camera down and helping her?"

(Good thing he prefaced it with that 'not judging' comment, hey?)

I quickly explained to him that the pull-up-squawk-get-rescued-by-Mom routine happens about 4,982 times a day, and that 4,981 times I came to her rescue IMMEDIATELY. Being videotaped one damn time to record the moment for posterity didn't hurt her none.

Habbala

Oh! I vote hilarious!!! It's not permanently damaging or something. PLUS, it is teaching him that you come back which, development wise is VERY healthy.

jadinejadine

Hee! Sneaky little things, kids are. It's amazing how they can be so young, yet know exactly how to manipulate their environment with the little tools they have at their disposal :) Smart little stinker :)

becky

aww precious! i love it!

Tricina

That is soooo funny. I don't think you can consider it cruel if he's happy as a clam within ten seconds, but what do I know?

Diane

I should totally be in bed because I have my own pouty-faced 5-month-old to contend with in the morning, so I'll keep it short:

TOTALLY CALLED FOR. These things must be documented.

kat

aw he's adorable when he's upset!

MariaV

He's adorable even when he is upset.

Laura

He looks SO like Jason in the pouty face pics. And like you in the happy face pics. Totally worth documenting....for future "You're SO like your father" moments.

Jen

It may be a little mean, but it's still pretty funny.

Plus, it's no worse than the stuff our parents did to us. My parents once got out the video camera and snuck in my room to wake me up when I was about 12, just to document how pissy I was in the morning. Now THAT was mean.

Chicky Chicky Baby

I've been trying to document C's weepy face for months and haven't succeeded, so I applaud your effort.

But for the record, the first three pictures made my ovaries hurt. Actually they made my ovaries spontaneously leap from my body and now they're flopping around on the floor like a dying fish. So there you go.

Marianne

*Snort* It may have been kinda mean, but it was very cute. :)

Colleen - a madison mom

That is totally something I would do. And.... I think it's something my mother would do too. If you look at my blog today... there's proof. I truly think it's important to have photos showing your kids they were not always cheery smiling sweeties.

And those shots? Priceless.

Erin

Please! my son got his head stuck under my bed. I left him there and went to get the camera first before getting him out!

Deanna

That wasn't mean. That was PERFECT! :)

Karen

Absolutely hysterical! Just tell Jason that what you're really doing is helping Ezra learn that you'll come back. Mommy will return lesson = momentary cruelty for his own benefit. You're just documenting superior parenting skills!

Maureen

That's so cute! And I would totally do the same thing. Except I'd probably have a glass of wine in my hand, furthering me from the title of Mother of the Year.

Val

Hey - you need to document it anyway - right? You need pictures for the graduation/ wedding/funeral posters that everyone makes these days. Also, the ones you show his new wife and their teenaged kids years later.

schmutzie

I figure if he does this every time you have to pee anyway, why not document it? Plus, that happy baby face!

Kim

Completely not mean. Just documentation. And, of course, we love it. Those boys are so adorable!

-k-

Hilarious. Kind of mean in the sense that it's intentional, but if he does it fifty eleven times a day anyway, I don't think one more's gonna land him on a therapist's couch one day.

Monica

Hahahahahahaha, fabulous!

Parsing Nonsense

Oh, his poor sad little face, he looks devastated! Isn't it amazing to know that you are the sun around which his life revolves? How special, I sorely hope to have that in my life someday as well.

Jenn

OMG - SO. NOT. MEAN.

Completely and totally adorable. The pouty face in the second picture is BEYOND preshus.

And if you didn't capture these moments now, what on EARTH will you show his prom date later?!

And to Chris (however many comments above me), who calls her little one "tomato head:" We call our son "Tito The Angry Tomato" when he gets like that and starts wailing. :)

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