The Missing N
Monday Hodgepodge

In Other Words, GO BACK TO BED

After spending most of yesterday debating whether or not to reschedule an appointment for a professional family portrait session because Noah had a Raging Fever of Mystery, we decided to go ahead with it. Five minutes before we needed to leave the house, Ezra pitched headfirst off of our bed and collided with a scratchy wicker laundry basket on the way down to his ultimate faceplant on the floor. Because Mama was busy putting on mascara. I mean, of course I was. The evidence of the fall is JUST as pretty and photogenic as you can imagine.


That can so be Photoshopped, right? Hell, I managed to fix it pretty well with just the eraser tool and some camouflage in Microsoft Paint:


See? All better now.

On the plus side, Ezra suddenly started waving HI! HI! HI HI HI! to everybody he meets, which is just as adorable as you can imagine. I mean, holy crap, it's cute. Except for maybe today, when he frantically flapped his hands at dozens of strangers while we were out at lunch, and the gesture could have easily been translated as HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT WHAT THEY DID TO MY HEAD. YOU GO CALL FOR HELP, I'LL STAY HERE, THIS BLONDE ONE IS REALLY EASY TO DISTRACT.



Oh, poor Ezra! He's not crying in the photo, so it can't be too bad.


Mine are great for this the day before a well check-up. Always super impressive.


My sister dropped me when I was 6 months old and broke my leg. I had to wear casts on both legs so that one wouldn't grow longer than the other. I looked completely pitiful, and no one, particularly not my father, could take me anywhere without getting the nastiest looks.

I just read your other post (about having to hover near the camp while Noah attends), and was like STARS! THEY'RE JUST LIKE US! Traffic/construction has it so that I have to work on my dissertation at a café nearby the child care center I drop my tike off at (for a precious few hours and precious MANY dollars to write said dissertation). My café options are limited, and most of them have no free wifi. Do you just deal while at Starbucks or do you pay for a connection? Or, I suppose you might plan on spending your time mothering rather than using the interwebs...


That's the worst. Too bad it happened on your "watch". Most bumps always happened on my watch but the fall off the bed a few months ago was all my husband. I think somehow it was still my fault as I was only a mere couple rooms AWAY.

Anyway, have to get ready to go to the damn zoo tonight. Have a good weekend.


Whew--now I don't feel so bad. My eight month old fell off the changing table last weekend. Black eye + bloody mouth = bad momma.

Mrs Soup

Oh poor guy! But yes, that would be very simple to fix in Photoshop with the clone tool. Super simple.


Okay this one just made me chuckle not because your baby fell and hurt himself but mostly the the arm flapping and the blonde one is easy to distract thing. I swear babies know more then they let on and totally work the system!!

The Informal Matriarch

Do you see anything?? I don't see anything. His face looks fine in the 2nd should do that for a living!


If I send you some of my pictures, can *I* get some shiny, pretty rainbows on my face? It might distract from any undereye circles/weird angle, double chin goodness.

I swear, that Ezra gets more adorable by the day.


Poor Ezra! Poor Amalah!

As I've mentioned before, Ezra's a bit older than my daughter, and I'm watching him closely to know what she'll be up to next.

When I read this, I told Shrike, "Ezra fell off the bed! We have to get our mattress off the frame now!"

(We cosleep and I figure Peeper will be thinking about getting mobile soon.)

Sprite's Keeper

That kid makes blue and pink look damn good!


Decided to stop my lurking from the past two years and finally post. So hi, how are you? Poor Ezra. I'm sure it had your heart stopping for a moment when you heard the thud. Fortunately for me, only my husband has ever dropped our daughter, causing a scar over her eye. We just tell people she was in a knife fight in daycare. N.Va is a tough place.


I fell down the stairs when I was about nine, unfortunately I was holding my little brother at the time. Poor kid. He ended up being fine though...
I love how you photoshopped the wound!


My little one took a tumble down the stairs the morning of his eight month checkup because Mama was putting on blush. I felt like a rock star. He was fine.


You've got some mad Paint skillz! I especially love the rainbow!


Oh, the Mighty Ez.

Can I just say I want to pull off his nose and eat it? Because seriously, it's like a little gumdrop of NOM NOM NOM right there. And I don't say NOM.

Shit, now my stomach's growling. What to eat to satisfy the craving of "baby nose"? (Don't even get me started on the cheeks, or we'll be here all night.)


Something was going around today. Gabe went headfirst into the pool on the trampoline and has a big old goose egg on his forehead.


Not bad at all...still adorable!


Just today, as we were leaving the grocery store, I lifted my 2YO into the truck a bit too enthusiastically and wacked her head on the edge of the door frame. And I'm meeting with the ex-husband tomorrow afternoon. Think the bruise will be gone by then?


Oh, poor Ezra and poor mommy! (Though the rainbow is just adorable!)

When my daughter was 5 months old, she fell off the changing table and... broke her leg. It was awful. I had to take her to the ER and tell one doctor after another the same story, realizing that they were just doing their job but that they had to make sure I hadn't done it on purpose! Our pediatrician was out of town at the time, but when he got back, he called us to check on her and tell me that the same thing had happened to him when his son was little. I love our pediatrician.


Yep. Rock star here too. My son was about 10 months old when he rolled down a couple of stairs. He looked fine all evening, next morning he had a black eye!!! Of course that was my sister's wedding day, so he is in all the pictures, smiling and sporting a HUGE black eye.


Jumping on the bad mommy bandwagon! My daughter broke her leg shortly before her first birthday. Yeah, just in time for those birthday portraits you send to all your family members and post in the local paper. Nothing sadder than a baby in a pretty party dress and a cast, no matter how many rainbows you draw on it. And a note to megs: At least with BOTH legs in casts people might assume you needed some kind of surgery or something, wheras one cast equals "Holy shit, you broke your baby!" without a doubt.


He's still delicious and adorable. Scars and all.

Jen L.

Aw, baby's first black eye! Dean took a header off the bed at my MIL's during the holidays, so every single picture of baby's first Christmas looks like baby got into a holiday brawl at the honky tonk.

I like the sunshine and rainbow. Ezra may want to consider that as a future tattoo option. Poor muffin. :(


YOU are a rockstar. Seriously, if you had Photoshop just think what you could have done. Hahahahahaha!

Poor baby. Just remember that HE won't remember any of this.


Those bumps, bruises and scratches? Every mom out there looks at one and remembers when her kids did that for the first time. and the second, third, fourth and twentieth.

The most spectacular one we had was when my 20 month old son was standing in the Target shopping cart as we were heading in from the parking lot.

It was an unfamiliar location, so the fact that the curb cut was merely a suggestion, rather than actually cut out (damn NY curb cutting union), so cart stopped, son didnt. It was a spectacular 540% revolution that would have made any gymnast proud.

Too bad we were in town to show him off to relatives for the first time.

BTW, can I have you photoshop my pictures for BlogHer business cards? You have teh mad skillz!

Cheryl S.

I learned two good things today. 1. My kiddo is not the only one who spikes mystery fevers. 2. I'm not the only one whose kid feels it necessary to face plant into something right before important occasions! (Luckily, the last time she did it right before her check up, the doc just laughed and didn't report me to CPS!)

Plano Mom

My 10 year old still has a teensy scar on his cheek where he face planted into the corner of my night stand. At the time, that teensy cut was accompanied by a bruise that filled the entire left side of his face. Except for one photo that my best friend took, I kept him inside and hid all the evidence.


U haz mad foetoe shop skillz!!


Today was my son's first birthday party, and yesterday he fell and scraped his knee, and today he took a header into the front door on a mad dash for FREEDOM... had a nice goose egg for his party. :)
I have totally read your entire blog because you rock.


my nephew threw a sippy cup in the air and hit himself in the eye and got a black eye. The day before his one year ped appointment. My sister was convinced they were going to call cps.

They didn't. It happens. Can't wait to see the pictures.

die Frau

Those photos just look the most realistic, *I* think. Like our Christmas photo when I was three: My brother (age 4) and I have chicken pox, my younger sister (2) is waving at the camera licking snot off her nose, and my 3 mo. old sister is sort of slumped over like a blob in mom's arms. But we're all dressed really nicely.

Chicks dig scars. No worries, Mama!

die Frau

Those photos just look the most realistic, *I* think. Like our Christmas photo when I was three: My brother (age 4) and I have chicken pox, my younger sister (2) is waving at the camera licking snot off her nose, and my 3 mo. old sister is sort of slumped over like a blob in mom's arms. But we're all dressed really nicely.

Chicks dig scars. No worries, Mama!


You make me laugh. Out loud.


Ha ha
Guess who I saw on TV on Friday night? YOU and Jason, on the Bobby Flay smack down or whatever it is called. It was cute. I remember when you first wrote that post... so long ago!


Our little man took a flip off the changing table at 11 months while I reached for his special "zoo outfit". Needless to say, we never made it to the zoo.
Several weeks later he toddled into the kitchen while I was turning chicken and placed both palms down on the oven door. That was an ugly, ugly afternoon.
I was starting to rethink the second child. Luckily, he has gotten far less accident-prone in the last two years (knocking on wooden desk).


Oh, I've got a nice no-i-don't-beat-my-kid pic too. If you check out the link to my blog today the picture that's on the home page is a spectacular image that I'm sure will send CPS angling their way to my door any minute now.


Oh man, I hear ya! My little girl has her first shiner, too--at 6 months (a boy at daycare threw a toy at her).

Good thing Ez didn't take his eye out. And you've got mad Photoshop skillz.

Parsing Nonsense

Cracked up because Ezra totally looks like a hippie love child in the corrected photo...

Sarah @

Oh, poor baby!

I hope he was alright!

Jessica V.

We call those "Parenting Magazine moments" - as in, they are coming to take our picture for the cover right now! Thanks for the laugh - I'm still giggling over your last paragraph.


Yeah so you think you have it bad? Check out this pic...

2 days before his 3rd Bday he faceplanted into the living room coffee table. Socks + Hardwood Floors + Child That Is "Ice Skating" = Disaster

Broken nose and 7 stitches in his eyebrow. And CPS DID interview us

*dying of embarassment*


On Sunday we went to a friend's house for a playdate/brunch with 2 other couples and as we were all arriving and carrying in children and food and whatnot, someone left the apartment door open and the host's 15 month old did a faceplant down the corridor stone stairs and landed with a thud and a loud scream, which then turned into a trip to the emergency room - as the rest of us sat sort of meekly around their house eating canapes and watching our kids play with their injured child's toys. Wow, talk about uncomfortable. Turns out their kid was fine, bruised as hell on his face and head, but no worse for the wear. The mother then nervously watched her child take a nap and we played in the kiddie pool outside. Er, not the best start to a "FUN SUNDAY!"


I just came back to this post specifically to read a bunch of "it's ok, look what happened to MY kid" comments. I knew they'd be here :-)

Yeah, because this morning my almost-7-month-old dove off the bed after the dog. She may never crawl now, since mobility = pain and surprise :-( She seems ok though. A little cuddle and booby fixed her right up and now she's napping.

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