Hmm. I Mention the Word "Headband" a Lot, So. Yes. Let's Call This Entry "Headband."
It's Input, It's Input Time

Return to Sodor

It's been quite some time since we checked in on the Isle of Sodor, hasn't it? November 2007, if my archives are to be believed, which...I feel like they are lying. 2007? Really? No one is going to remember an entry from 2007 and all this time I still thought of the train table entries as a "regular feature" that I could fall back on whenever I'm feeling lazy and non-word-ish. But two entries in two years is not a regular feature. Also I was going to blame the lack of train table entries on the dog, who peed on the basement carpet so we couldn't really spend a lot of time down there until we got the carpet cleaned, which we just did this week so that can't be true. Can it? Crap, I feel like I just lost a year and a half and I don't where it went. If only I'd kept some kind of written record of my life! With photos and timestamps! DAMMIT!

Anyway. Speaking of the train trable, things had taken a turn for the full-on disasterous.

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Goddamn bridge(s) to nowhere!

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Ye Olde Genetics Plant continues to fuck with nature.

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Many residents were in favor of abandoning the Isle altogether and starting from scratch in the nearby land of Floor.

Luckily, Mama was feeling engineer-y this morning.

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MONORAIL! MONORAIL! MONORAAAAAAAIL!

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There was some initial skepticism. I mean, the Floor is BIG and has massive potential for Things Getting Lost Under The Furniture and Mommy Stepping On Trains And Teaching Everybody The Good Swear Words.

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But then again. Tunnels! And did I mention I built you a MONORAIL?

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The problem with Ridiculously Oversized and Possibly Fiendish Dairy Products continues.

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But! The Isle is once again back to just one Thomas. I can only assume that the other two or three or seven replacement Thomases that we have owned at one point or another have gone on to a better place. Under the furniture, biding their time until their day of getting stepped on in darkened hallways on the way to pee, what the fuck motherfucking fuck was that OW fuck, is here once again.

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The same cannot be said about the new Evil Sir Topham Hat, who can now beat you with a lead pipe in unbelievable 3D POSING ACTION.

You can tell by his face that this one's a mean drunk.

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Too bad about the nachos that fell in his lap. OF COURSE that shit always lands cheese-side down.

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But behold, in the horizon, a new enemy rises.

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To be continued...in other year and a half, perhaps...in the meantime, I'd stay off the monorail.

Comments

Kyla

These crack me up.

Maria

Dude.

Adorable.

Sprite's Keeper

As soon as I saw the title, I thought, "Yes! A train-y imagination post!"
Thanks for delivering! And is there something that can be done about the amount of freakishly large eggs? Maybe the Isle of Sodor can ship them to a third world country and end some kind of strife over there.

priscilla

yay! sodor is back! ESTH looks not only like a mean drunk but also a wearer of tighty whiteys one size too small.

Andrea

I totally remember the Thomas entry!!!

lumpyheadsmom

That fucking mooing dairy car makes me crazy, but I swear to you, the chicken car is worse.

(I forgot about the milk can, which my husband quickly locked away in the Choking Hazard Vault. At least I think it's in the Choking Hazard Vault. It could very well be lost in a furnace vent. Or the baby's gullet. Who's to say?)

Mouse

I love these.

We have mostly abandoned the Isle of Sodor for the Land of Floor. More room for the 144 assorted trains and cars. (Wish I were exaggerating that, but my son lined all of them up once and made me count them.)

Laura

Holy crap I need to get a fucking life... I actually REMEMBER the last Thomas entry.

I'm off... to find my life. Damn you, Amalah!

Amy

I SPY A CLYDE'S PLANE!

kalisa

his shorts are cute.

Emma

Lady, you make my cry with laughter when you go to Sodor. Of course I remember. And I sent them to my husband for a good laugh too, which is memorable as we totally don't normally find the same stuff funny.

Joy

Hee hee! You're so funny, I love the train table saga!

Starbuck

Life in Sodor is so much more exciting than life in Ellensburg.

eva

Oh my lord I totally remember the train posts. But OMFG I was still pregnant when they were written? And now my kid's a year and a half old??? WHERE DOES THE TIME GO????

Kristin

We never bought into the land of Sodor because the tables are too confining. We like BIG train tracks. And, the new monster of te land is adorable.

Beret

We own each and every train from the Island of Sodor, including all the Narrow Gauge engines. But we LOST Edward's tender, and I see you have it hooked up to the Dairy car. I will not be letting my son see this entry or he's instigate another full-house search that lasts for hours and turns up nothing.

Amy

A year and a half?!? No frickin' way!

I love these entries. You have given a voice to inanimate objects everywhere. Bless you.

Caroline

Hahaha, I love it - he's totally giving your monorail the side-eye!

Caroline

Hahaha, I love it - he's totally giving your monorail the side-eye!

Parsing Nonsense

I wasn't reading back when you did the first entry, but this was highly entertaining! Can't wait to see what Ezra does to the good people of this mutated yet bucolic town.

Parsing Nonsense

I wasn't reading back when you did the first entry, but this was highly entertaining! Can't wait to see what Ezra does to the good people of this mutated yet bucolic town.

Parsing Nonsense

I wasn't reading back when you did the first entry, but this was highly entertaining! Can't wait to see what Ezra does to the good people of this mutated yet bucolic town.

Parsing Nonsense

I wasn't reading back when you did the first entry, but this was highly entertaining! Can't wait to see what Ezra does to the good people of this mutated yet bucolic town.

Carol

Ezra, the drunken Sir Topham Hat must be annihilated... your mission is to take him out via a swift overhead train/monorail karate chop... also, do not eat the nachos in his lap...

crabbyappleseed

Is there a chance the track could bend?

Corinne

I call the big one Bitey!

Andrea

Too bad about the nachos that fell in his lap. OF COURSE that shit always lands cheese-side down.

I love it.

Missie

Dude. To be a fly on the wall of your brain for just a day.

Julia

I won't lie, everytime you update i secretly hope it's a train or deodorant photo essay.

or a Ceiba entry, I lurve your purse dog.

Trish

Oh! Oh! Do the deodorant people ever visit Sodor?

Beth

Freaking hilarious! Evil Sir Topham hat is probably trying to lure people with his "lap nachos". *snort*

jodifur

We sold Michael's train table. He never played with it. But if I was as fun as you, maybe he would have.

Diane

It's really been that long??? I'm with you, on the lost time thing. Crap.

Love Ez at the end. PRESHUS as usual.

Heather

Long live Sodor!!!

Thanks for the laughs.

Jill

You are a train track building master! I suck at the train tracks. I just throw all the trains on the table and let them create a crash-up derby or whatever that event is where people take their crappy cars to fairs and run into each other. You, on the other hand, rock.

TheGoriWife

Loved it! Nachos in his lap first made me go Wha? but then I got it and went HA!

kari Weber

Funny. Funny because it is true. I have to admit though that I still prefer the deodorant wars posts. Still waiting for Teen Spirit to make her debut...


Christy

I am totally having nightmares about that evil Sir Topham Hat tonight.

SUPAHMAMA!

oh sweet jesus. THE NACHOS. i might have giggled once or twice while my husband rolled his eyes at me. ((we won't tell him that i saw him taking notes on your sweet engineering skills.))

ClumberKim

Totally challenged my (admittedly suspect) bladder control with this one. Well done!

Random

Wow! That train table seems very engineering-ly ambitious. At Noah's age, I'd have been fascinated by the raised track and "can other trains go UNDER it" and "is it fun to knock over" and "can all of the trains line up on it according to size and color" (welcome to the spectrum, yay!).
By the way, I remember the train table entries, and I like 'em! I loved trains when I was little. Such a girly-girl I was.

Maxine Dangerous

I wish we were friends because I want to beep Ezra's nose. Without you calling the authorities. :) It's so cute! *beep* :D

Catherine

That is one ADORABLE Baby Ezra.


brit

We spend a lot of time onthe island of sodor and I can tell you one thing...the storms on that island are something. And don't even get me started on the giant stomping feet that occasionally visit (courtesy of our second son, now three). Good times I tell you.

My husband I giggled together over this post. SHARED CULTURAL EXPERIENCE i tell you its like a freaking sociological experiment..shh forget I said that.

Abra Leah

I only feel a tiny bit guilty for gluing down the tracks on our table so that I don't have to keep rebuilding that darn thing.

:)

Melissa

My son LOVES Thomas! He would totally be jealous of your Sodor. We're working on our collection here!

Julie

Oh GOD this is hilarious. I love Thomas and never looked at Sir Topham in such a way. That picture of Ez's hand on the side of the train table? As if he's the monster about to take over the world? BRILLIANT. So funny. Thank you.

Jozet at Halushki

My son loves Thomas, but hates that the trains are mean to each other and bump each other off the tracks.

And our new dangerous enemies to Sodor? Giant alien monster cats! Oh, and the Dastardly Big Sister Who Will Show You How To Play Trains The "Right" Way.

Hillarie

So funny! We got so sick of the train parts everywhere that my husband hot glued everything to the table.

Kendra

I've been debating for a few years whether it's worth the space it would occupy to get a train table. I never really considered the hours I could spend making up stories that the kids don't find amusing but I think are hilarious.

Love the new creepy Topham Hat!

Justice Jonesie

OMG, this could so be my house. Love it!
What's the story behind the eggs on the tracks?

Karen

Ok...this one funny...but I cried off my makeup on the last one while laughing my ass off.
Amy - you are one talented (and possibly unbalanced) woman! I think I read those entries before but not while being a mom with our own Thomas set.

Katie Kat

God... has it REALLY been that long since the original train saga? Geez, I have to get a life.

KEEP 'EM COMING THOUGH! Along with the deodorant soap opera. :)

Amy H

so funny! You are like the producers of LOST. You give us a great show and then you have a writers strike and we don't get a new episode for a year and a half. ha! Glad the strike is over and looking forward to more of these.

Sadie

Haha! The nachos!

Jen.

Yea! I am happy to wait another 18 months or however long it takes for another installment. I lurve the Sodor drama...

Tara

Okay, clearly MANY of us remember--and loved--the previous Sodor stories, so maybe 2007 wasn't all THAT far back.

Sheer brilliance, this. Especially the nachos in Sir Topham Hatt's lap--WTF is that? The bottom of his vest, supposedly, interrupted by the poseable parts? I wouldn't make fun of him to his face, though--those hands are ready to strangle someone.

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