Life is Boringful
No. NO!

Lists. The Final Blogging Cop-Out Frontier.


1) Munchkin Mozart Magic Cube, gift from sister

2) Spare toothbrushes, gift from dentist

3) OMSORG shoehorn, Ikea, 99 cents


1) Pizza crust

2) Grilled cheese sandwich crust

3) Bread, but without the crust

4) Macaroni & cheese fromabox fromabox thatisnotfromaboxnoooo

5) Sticker Cheerios (Honey Nut Cheerios)

6) Pananas (bananas)

7) Nolabars (granola bars)

8) Trader Joe's Vegetable Masala Burgers

9) Anything you liquefy in a blender, pour into a sippy cup and call it "juice"

10) Air, probably. Does it have a crust?


1) Uh.

2) Hmm.

3) He didn't seem too fond of that lettuce leaf the other night?

4) But then he grabbed some parsley leaves right off the plant in the garden and ate those?

5) Yeah, I'm stumped. He eats everything.


1) Plastic DVD case, The Polar Express

2) Toy boom box from Yo Gabba Gabba playset

3) Thomas the Tank Engine packpack (backpack)

4) Book dust jacket, Knuffle Bunny Too

5) Sippy cup of "juice"


1) Mama


1) Tongue-clucks

2) Clapping

3) Waving

4) Rasberry-blowing

5) "Da da"


1) "Ma ma! Mmmmaaaa mmmmaaaaa. Come on. WTF. MAMA!"


1) Spent hour transferring contents of refrigerator in kitchen to much-older-but-at-least-mostly-consistently-working refrigerator in basement and several coolers in preparation for the delivery of our new refrigerator, purchased last weekend after finally giving up on:

        1a) refrigerator in kitchen to magically fix self, stop randomly letting everything in the freezer melt while everything in the fridge turns to ice, and yes I already suggested putting the ice in the fridge and the milk in the freezer but Jason wouldn't let me so WHATEVER

        1b) appliance repairman who made several hundred dollars in useless repairs to give us our money back because...because...I don't know why, it just seems like the sporting thing to do, but then again, we did this to him

        1c) randomly coming into a shitload of free money so we wouldn't have to pay for a new fridge with the credit card, but apparently it takes a LOT longer than I thought for the widow of the Former Prime Minister of NewZealandTown to monetize four hundred million American dollars through the Bank of Nigeria.

2) Waited all morning and afternoon for call about the delivery of the new refrigerator.

3) Scolded preschooler for smearing mustard in his hair.

4) Noticed even larger dribble of mustard down the front of my own shirt.

5) Dug up receipt for new refrigerator in order to call and Get Huffy About It.

6) While on hold, noticed the bolded, all-caps, circled delivery date on the reciept said "7/17/09"

7) Hung up phone, sheepishly.

8) Shrieked in terror when phone immediately rang afterwards, like omg I hung up on Sears and now they're mad at me!

9) Realized that the downstairs refrigerator is leaking all over the floor, our washing machine no longer recognizes the 2nd Rinse function and our stove thinks the broiler can go fuck itself.

10) Nobly and selflessly rescued bottle of Yuengling from certain spoilage in busted-ass fridge.



Once again, I feel just terrible that I laugh at the things that happen to you. I'm sorry, but also, BWAHAHAHAAHAH!


Oh dear.


Houses SUCK. And all their little friends, too. Unless I rinse a dish to within an inch of its life, the dishwasher refuses to clean the damned thing. And for whatever reason, our light fixture in the guest bathroom decided to go on strike. But I showed it that I meant business by bringing down a table lamp from the kids' room and setting it by the sink (Safety First!) Yes, the same damned lamp with apple trees, bunnies and fluffy little sheep frolicking on the shade. Heh. Take THAT, light fixture.

Sprite's Keeper

I think air DOES have a crust. Isn't it called smog? LA seems rife with it.
The oven telling the broiler to fuck itself? That will keep me giggling for a while. Thanks!


Hehehehe, I don't think air has a crust, but if it does, it must be grilled-tasty!


An unassisted Yuengling rescue...a true sign of a Pennsylvania girl with class and breeding!


Hey, I got a "You are not my friend" from my 3-year-old today too!

My condolences on the house stuff.


somedays I think we must live the same life. I mean, just HOW MANY things can go wrong every single day?

A lot I tell ya.

Good luck and be sure to post a picture of your new fridge when you do get it!


Ha! Michael loves "you are not my friend." It's the 3/4 year old insult!


Huh, my 3 just turned 4 year old daughter says, "I have the wrong mother" when I displease her. Like by brushing her hair. Or suggesting she eat her breakfast.

My refrigerator is dying too and I feel desperate. Just desperate. But the washing machine is ok. I think....


a shoehorn?


We have one of those music cubes as well (an older version, made by a different company, but exactly the same) and it ROCKS!!

And yes, we have had similar house problems lately, so I sympathize. To add to it, DH is a teacher and not currently getting paid, so FUN!


Funny how you call it a copout and I'm still laughing out loud. But sympathy on the fridge and friends. That STINKS.

One of my mom friends responds with "mommy doesn't live here anymore".. which I've already used on my babe. Sorta seems fair, if they're going to pull "you are not my friend" or similar!


OH GOD NOT THE YUENGLING! (I have my priorities straight here people. Carpe Cerevisi.)


Oh, the irony of the crust. We have a similar love/hate relationship going over here with a love of tortillas and some VERY THINLY sliced bread. But do not think of putting a roll or biscuit on someone's plate unless you want the stinkeye unleashed.

I also have a younger (9 month old) who eats mostly everything. Let's pray it lasts. The toddler was always picky but we'll see.


Beware ... the meanest words a 3-year-old knows "you are not my friend" quickly turn into the meanest words a 4-year-old knows "you are not invited to my birthday!" beware, its coming!!!


Careful you don't teach him to say WTF!


What is it with appliances? I think they may be programmed to self-destruct in the event of a recession. Our dryer no longer drys, but will fluff clothes nicely. My vacuum will no longer turn on. My dishwasher repeatedly tries to break my dishes because the rack support repeatedly breaks despite being replaced at least once a year since we bought it. But none of our appliances are as expensive to fix as yours and for that I am both thankful and sorry.


So many things in this post made me laugh. And "panana" is really sweet.


When the AC stopped working on a 97-degree-100-percent-humidity day and nearly melted the baby, that sucked. When the shower also stopped draining and we couldn't take showers for FOUR DAYS during the AC-less intense heat&humidity coinciding with a few days of PROJECTILE vomiting from baby, I just kind of gave up on life. I went to work covered in my own sweat and baby vomit and just didn't effing CARE anymore.

The Tutugirl

I remember when my parents had all the appliances give up at the same time- you'll make it through, I promise!

Maybe you should just stick solid foods in his sippy cup and call it juice...


I feel bad about laughing but you are hilarious! Good luck with appliances. We are about to make the move from our apartment to a home... yes, we will own and not rent but we have to buy every single appliance there is because our apartment even came with the microwave. joy!


Awesomely Essential Baby Toys

#4 Cardboard boxes


you are living my life....stop it!!!


Oh my GOD that repairman story was funny. Good belly laugh. Thanks.


Just have to say: I've been enjoying your blog for a while now, but I am just loving it more and more by the day.


Do you know how much sticker cereal you can buy with 400 million dollars US? Score!


I never comment, but here is a Shel Silverstein poem for you:

Nothing to do?
Nothing to do?
Put some mustard in your shoe,
Fill your pockets up with soot,
Drive a nail into your foot,
Put some sugar in your hair,
Place your toys upon the stair,
Smear some jelly on the latch,
Eat some mud and strike a match,
Draw a picture on the wall.
Roll some marbles down the hall.
Pour some ink in daddy's cap-
Now go upstairs and take a nap


I, too, am drinking a Yuengling I rescued...from the rinky dink store down the highway, on my way home from work. I tried to fight the piece from pulling into the parking lot, I did, I swear. Sometimes things don't go my way, or maybe they do.


Yo Gabba Gabba makes life worth living. I want a Yo Gabba Gabba playset and I am 35 years old.


My daughter told me I could be Cinderella when we play. Why, I asked her. Because I have yellow hair and I'm the best cleaner upper...just like Cinderella.

Then an hour later I got uninvited to her birthday party because I'm a super mean Mommy!!

Sorry about all your appliances going kaplooey on you. I so need a new fridge and washing machine too....but alas we are broke. Lord help me if they stop working all together :(


You are one of the few bloggers who regularly make me guffaw out loud.

And, the stove telling the broiler to go fuck itself is Amalah gold.

And, freaking out because you thought Sears was calling you back? I so something I would freak out about. Like they have a camera in my house. Sheesh. Also, like they actually call people back that hang up. But the thought would definitely cross my mind and freak me out. Fer Sher.


my son calls them nola bars too :)


Fucking appliances. They gang up on you at the same time.
This was my favorite 'cop-out' post yet!


A shoehorn??

It did remind me of an essential teenage item. Baby powder so 13-year old can pull socks up clammy feet. That wonderful white dust will shave 15 minutes off the whole procedure.


Yum, crusts!


Sounds like the appliances in my house.

yet another from the legions of Amys

Bloggers always seem apologetic for lists, but they are usually some of my favorite posts.

My preschooler always gives a hug to the KitchenAid mixer and tells it "I love you" when I get it out. I feel the same way.

I am loving the comments about other people's crazy 3 and 4 year olds. You all make me feel a little less alone and a little less of a craptastic mother.


Toothbrushes are amazing toddler toys.

We also have great pro-crust, anti-crust debates.

I hate refrigerators. So much. We have had four of them in as many years. We've had ones that didn't get cold, ones that got cold randomly, and now our fridge, though it technically gets cold, has never once closed properly. So it either sticks and you have to yank it open and hope all the contents don't fall on the floor, or you (I) have to follow around the other members of the household, closing the door behind them, because they can't seem to slam it right and the freezer always has a layer of drippy water hanging from the top.

Completely seriously, if you are happy with your new refrigerator, will you let me know what it is? I'm stumped, and every time I open it, all I can think is, someday when I win the lottery or can convince my husband that this one is a piece of shit, I'm totally buying a new refrigerator--one that will go a couple of years before it turns into the hulking source of resentment that they always seem to be around here.

Adelas (Della)

I am perfectly happy reading lists. Especially since you're such a good sport and make giggle-inducing paragraph-long list items at the end.

Also, I got on the computer to write my own blog post but do you see me over there writing a blog post? NOOOOOOOOOOOoo. I'm here reading your list. And trying to decide if I'm going to make a "real" blog post or just a list. And wondering if anyone but me actually cares. And bogarting your comment section to ponder it. *poke self.*

Also, has your fridge been talking to our air conditioner?


Appliance uprising. They will tell you it doesn't happen. They lie. Tell them how dryers turn singlet socks into cash to fund the fight. They will laugh. They are wrong. Sell the baby. sigh.


Is it mean that it makes me happy to read that you pay for emergency expenses with a credit card too? Sorry for your woes, but don't think you are the only one. It takes a shitload of money to support a family these days.


Yuengling? YUENGLING? Oh, how I envy you. It's the only beer I will drink, and I haven't had it since I left Pennsylvania three years ago.

Sorry about your fridge woes. At least the beer is safe. And your kids are awesome.


I also get the "You are not my friend" from my 3 year old. He generally follows with something like "I hate mama" or something similar. It's a good thing that mamas know not to take these things to heart.


Am I the only one that did the math and thinks the two week wait must've led to a conclusion by now? Or am I going to have to keep inferring on my own from evidence such as mentions of possible alcohol consumption? (Or possible NON alcohol consumption since Yuengling rescue was described as selfless...?)


Wow.. All I seem to hear from my 3.5 year old lately is "You are not my friend mom."...or in different variations like "you're not my BEST friend mom."
To tell ya the truth, it feels good to know I'm not the only mom who hears this!!


Damn appliances. I can hear my fridge planning a revolt right now just because I read this post. Appliance death is highly contagious. We had a dishwasher, dryer, and stove all die within months of each other.

And my 11 month old loooves Dada. She only says Mama in the middle of the night. Great. And I am checking out that Mozart cube thingy as soon as I'm done with this post because right now the baby is only interested in playing with things that are going to choke her.


I love the food list! My kids are exactly the same way. My son says he wants pizza with nothing on it. No cheese, no sauce -nothing. I say, that's just bread, he says yes, I want bread. He must live on sunshine. My daughter eats everything and anything and gets really angry if you try and eat something without giving her a bite.
Sorry about the appliances, but thanks for the laugh.


Have you done a list of favorite books for preschoolers? I searched around a little but didn't find one. I'm looking for some good suggestions.


#4 on the list of essential toys should be a bigass box of tampons. The multipax. My daughter LOVES spending a solid 10-15 minutes sorting them, opening and closing the box. walking around with them etc. Hands down best toy ever:)

Parsing Nonsense

I hate getting new appliances. We bought a new washer/dryer set when we bought our house four years ago and it locked itself permanently about six months into the gig. Sears assured us they'd be out in a week, I assured them they'd better bring some new clothes to replace the moldy, musty clothes ROTTING IN MY BRAND NEW WASHER.

They came out the same day.

It's just lame to pay thousands of dollars for new appliances because you know they'll eventually break on you and then you're just SOL yet again. Fail.


The Yuengling makes it allllll worth it, right?

die Frau

Ohhh, boy. Sounds fun. Starbuck, our dryer also conked out in the heat department. However, it spins greeeeeat. For once my greening of my life came into play: We already had a clothesline in the basement and, as of yesterday, we have one in the yard. Now if we can just get rid of the Japanese beetles....

Our oven when we moved in was too scary to use. I learned to rock the crock pot.

die Frau

Ohhh, boy. Sounds fun. Starbuck, our dryer also conked out in the heat department. However, it spins greeeeeat. For once my greening of my life came into play: We already had a clothesline in the basement and, as of yesterday, we have one in the yard. Now if we can just get rid of the Japanese beetles....

Our oven when we moved in was too scary to use. I learned to rock the crock pot.


This is starting to sound a bit like that movie staring Tom Hanks.


Dang forgot the other "r."

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