THREE MOST AWESOMELY ESSENTIAL BABY TOYS
1) Munchkin Mozart Magic Cube, gift from sister
2) Spare toothbrushes, gift from dentist
3) OMSORG shoehorn, Ikea, 99 cents
TEN THINGS MY PRESCHOOLER WILL EAT
1) Pizza crust
2) Grilled cheese sandwich crust
3) Bread, but without the crust
4) Macaroni & cheese fromabox fromabox thatisnotfromaboxnoooo
5) Sticker Cheerios (Honey Nut Cheerios)
6) Pananas (bananas)
7) Nolabars (granola bars)
8) Trader Joe's Vegetable Masala Burgers
9) Anything you liquefy in a blender, pour into a sippy cup and call it "juice"
10) Air, probably. Does it have a crust?
THINGS MY BABY WILL NOT EAT
3) He didn't seem too fond of that lettuce leaf the other night?
4) But then he grabbed some parsley leaves right off the plant in the garden and ate those?
5) Yeah, I'm stumped. He eats everything.
THINGS MY PRESCHOOLER SAID "I LOVE YOU" TO TODAY
1) Plastic DVD case, The Polar Express
2) Toy boom box from Yo Gabba Gabba playset
3) Thomas the Tank Engine packpack (backpack)
4) Book dust jacket, Knuffle Bunny Too
5) Sippy cup of "juice"
THINGS MY PRESCHOOLER SAID "YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND!!" TO TODAY
THINGS MY BABY WILL MIMIC
5) "Da da"
THINGS MY BABY WILL NOT MIMIC
1) "Ma ma! Mmmmaaaa mmmmaaaaa. Come on. WTF. MAMA!"
THINGS I DID THIS MORNING
1) Spent hour transferring contents of refrigerator in kitchen to much-older-but-at-least-mostly-consistently-working refrigerator in basement and several coolers in preparation for the delivery of our new refrigerator, purchased last weekend after finally giving up on:
1a) refrigerator in kitchen to magically fix self, stop randomly letting everything in the freezer melt while everything in the fridge turns to ice, and yes I already suggested putting the ice in the fridge and the milk in the freezer but Jason wouldn't let me so WHATEVER
1b) appliance repairman who made several hundred dollars in useless repairs to give us our money back because...because...I don't know why, it just seems like the sporting thing to do, but then again, we did this to him
1c) randomly coming into a shitload of free money so we wouldn't have to pay for a new fridge with the credit card, but apparently it takes a LOT longer than I thought for the widow of the Former Prime Minister of NewZealandTown to monetize four hundred million American dollars through the Bank of Nigeria.
2) Waited all morning and afternoon for call about the delivery of the new refrigerator.
3) Scolded preschooler for smearing mustard in his hair.
4) Noticed even larger dribble of mustard down the front of my own shirt.
5) Dug up receipt for new refrigerator in order to call and Get Huffy About It.
6) While on hold, noticed the bolded, all-caps, circled delivery date on the reciept said "7/17/09"
7) Hung up phone, sheepishly.
8) Shrieked in terror when phone immediately rang afterwards, like omg I hung up on Sears and now they're mad at me!
9) Realized that the downstairs refrigerator is leaking all over the floor, our washing machine no longer recognizes the 2nd Rinse function and our stove thinks the broiler can go fuck itself.
10) Nobly and selflessly rescued bottle of Yuengling from certain spoilage in busted-ass fridge.