How big is the baby

Public Service Announcement

It has been brought to my attention that reader Kari declared yesterday's post "the EXACT OPPOSITE of birth control," and that many, many of you agreed with that assessment.

Did you not read the part about the screaming? The terrible, terrible screaming? That he does in lieu of using anything remotely close to the English language? All the time, for everything and sometimes for no reason at all?

Oh, I see. The photos of the happy, angelically cute baby distracted you from that part. Well then. I'm afraid I'm going to have to break out the big guns. For your sake. For the overpopulated planet's sake. YOU MUST HEAR THE TRUTH.

Why You Should Not Have Babies, Exhibit #342 from amalah on Vimeo.

I think he's saying he would like more cantaloupe. Or maybe more souls. Could really be either.

ANNOYING DISCLAIMER: I gave him more cantaloupe. I did not purposely withhold cantaloupe for the purposes of this video, or sit there eating cantaloupe in front of him like Kate Gosselin.* He was simply expressing his supreme displeasure over my refusal to give him more than one piece of cantaloupe at a time, because if I gave him six pieces of cantaloupe he would shove all six pieces of cantaloupe in his mouth at once and then SCREAM ANYWAY because there wasn't any more cantaloupe on his tray.

*To my knowledge, Kate Gosselin has never eaten cantaloupe in front of Ezra either. 



But . . . it's a cute scream.


Incidentally, in regard to the behavior described in your previous post, I am convinced that having a sensory-avoiding child has ruined me for any theoretical future typical kid, and you only confirmed that. (What, a baby who would actually put something weird in his MOUTH? And CLIMB on UNSTABLE FURNITURE? WHAT? Heh.)


HA! I really laughed out loud, but I feel for you honestly because my baby has started doing the same thing only maybe a little more high-pitched squealing. Whew.


I just watched that with my 3-year old and he asked me afterwards "Is the baby a bear?"

Nicole P.

Ahaha, Baby T-Rex Banshee Ezra is awesome.


i know that must seriously wear you down, but my GOD. I laughed so hard. The best part is how he cranks his arms around right before letting loose with a giant scream. It's like he's winding up!


effing hilarious, especially the slo-mo raptor part.

Kim S.

That is easily the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

Thank you for starting my morning off with a laugh!

The Girl

AHAHA! I love the wind-up. "mmmmaaaaAAHGGHHHHHAAAA!" I mean, I'm sure it's not as cute when it's ALL THE TIME WITH THE SCREAMING JESUS CHRIST, but right there? That's awful cute.


You poor thing!! But I must agree with everyone that was hilarious!!


omg - Hysterical! I think I love your kids as much as I love my own - in a very non-creepy-over-the-internet kind of way, of course...


bwahahaha. Dang if that aint the truth! It's the same in my house. I had to watch it more than once...and showed it to my husband.


P.S. It's a couple days late, but happy anniversary to you and Jason! :)

Carolyn Online

I love how he's not even crying, he's just tensing up every muscle in his body to get the scream out.


Oh that was fun! I so miss the baby days. But neither of mine were screamers, or maybe I just blocked the memory. Buy earplugs and enjoy him now. Someday he will be a teenager. Be very afraid! I'm learning that they bring weapons to a Battle of Wits. And sometimes they win. LOL

joy olree

I don't think that will work as birth control, and I don't find it funny. It could be some form of autism which is no laughing matter. I had a child who screamed from birth until about 6 months and is now grown and a great person, but I had another child who screamed most of her childhood and she has aspergers.


Hilarious! Love the sound effects! And yet, he is still completely adorable.

Wacky Mommy

The poor little thing, he's just teething. HAHAHAHA. OK, I'm cool with just the 2 I have, I take back all those gushy thoughts I was thinking before.


Pretty funny stuff. I loved the slo-mo evil scream. But he's a keeper. Cute!


I really liked the slowed down effect. Really... I think I may be sending this to other people I know. Great PSA!

When one of my kids throws a fit in the grocery store isle, it is possible to hear me shouting at any nearby twentysomething, "DON'T DO IT! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS!!!"

But then I also use other kids as an example, "Look at him! That is what you look like! You don't want to look like that do you??? You would never get another toy ever if you acted like that! E V E R!"

Chibi Jeebs

OMG, that's priceless!*

I love how he goes from (seemingly) happy-go-lucky baby to EZRA SMASH -- you can SEE him wind up, unleash The Scream, and startle even himself before going back to happy-go-lucky-baby.

*Because he doesn't live in my house. ;)


I just want you to know that I laugh SO HARD every time I watch this. Because my first daughter was an angelhairsweetiepie but my second daughter? Screams her head off EXACTLY LIKE THAT all the effin' time. So... it's funny and pretty comforting to know I'm not the only one! :)

Grizzly Kitteh

That's adorable... Albeit adorable in a "I can stop hitting the replay button when I want kind of way."

Are there really 342 of these?

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