When You Marry
August 26, 2009
(Okay, first. Yes. I know I've been rather scan-happy lately. I'd apologize, except that it's actually been refreshing and more than a little necessary to take the occasional break from the Truman-Show-ness of all-super-personal-blogging, all-the-damn-time. Plus, the scanner is actually in the one room we've bothered to fully baby-proof, despite Ezra's non-stop campaign of destruction and doom and what did you put in your mouth, no, seriously, what did you just put in your mouth, oh my God, get it out, it's kitty litter, ohmygodgetitout.)
So. This book. Oh my god, you guys.
I've actually had this book in my possession for over a decade now -- it was a not-so-subtly-snarky wedding present from my older brother who most emphatically disagreed with my decision to marry young. I forgive him, because this book is fantastic. Like what-would-you-save-if-your-house-was-on-fire fantastic. Even back then, I knew it belonged on the Internet, although I had no idea at the time how the Internet worked outside of my personalized Yahoo! home page. Like, maybe I could re-type passage up in Notepad and copy the illustrations in Paint? And post them to a message board? In hindsight, I should have. I could have been Mahir!
And so I've been meaning to get around to scanning some of my favorite pages ever since I started this here dumblog, but...God, what a task! Every page is my favorite! I defy you to find a single page in this book that is not either hilariously old-fashioned or outright patently offensive. Reading it is a form of Stockholm Syndrome -- by the end you no longer have any grasp on what is right or wrong about any of it. It's that fucking good.
(Well! Let's not build up expectations too high there, or anything, Amy. You jackass.)
Anyway. I've finally decided to just bite the bullet and start scanning, uploading choice selections here and there, probably one new batch a week. I'll let you know when new pages are available. Today I present a nice decent chunk from the first five of the book's 15 chapters. (What You Bring To Marriage, Are You In Love?, Dating, Becoming Involved and Getting Engaged.) (And yes, there is a chapter called Where Babies Come From. I'm saving that one for Sweeps.)
Okay! Enough talking! Allow me to present When You Marry: Love, 1962 American High School Style.