Yes He Can
My Infestation, Let Me Show You It

An Ezra Interlude

And then, there's this guy.

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He's good. He's real, real good.

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Some people like to remind me that his first birthday is coming up soon, but I heard that those same people hate America and God and puppies who wear American flag bandanas as collars.

In other words, I don't want to talk about. Also, die in a fire.

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So. Ezra. What are you up to these days? A new EP, perhaps? Drawing on your latest obsessions with Live at the Greek, That Singing Dog Thing and the theme from Blue's Clues? A little Vampire-Weekend-slash-Mozart-Magic-Cube fusion?

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Working on some new performance moves, then? Pointing, clapping, signing "more" and "all done," playing "soooo big" and throwing your arms in the air like you just don't care? Making a "wah wah wah" sound with the back of your hand until all adults in the area are mimicking it like it's the goddamn macarena?

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Or maybe you're on a bit of a science kick? Conducting important research in the fields of How Fast Can The Baby Get Halfway Up The Stairs Before Mama Notices OMG or Uncovered Electrical Outlets And Oh Look A Fork?  I know we, your devoted constituents, are especially looking forward to reading your paper on the nutritional breakdown of microscopic crap-you-found-on-the-floor particles.

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Okay, okay, you aren't here to discuss your work. How about your personal life? I assume you and Orange Toothbrush are still hanging out a lot? Any new love interests besides BlaBla the Stripey Wonder Cat and Our Extra Wii Remote Jacket, Yes I Let Him Sleep With It Last Night, Whatever, Because He Likes It, Okay?

Oh, OF COURSE. I would never tell Noah that you're the one who ate the corner piece from his dinosaur puzzle. Totally off the record, that.

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Been to any good restaurants lately? I have to say, you're in amazing 25th percentile shape for the amount of food you eat. I read another interview that said on a typical day, you eat a waffle, a scrambled egg, a banana, a peach, two handfuls of grapes, half an avocado, a hummus-and-pita-bread sandwich, two meatballs, pasta, a ridiculous number of peas, tomato or pickle slices, maybe a lentil burger or salmon cake with some broccoli spears for dessert? Is it true that you once had to be forcefully removed from the vicinity of some creamed spinach because seriously, YOU HAD ENOUGH. YOU ARE FLAGGED FROM THE CREAMED SPINACH. THUS SPAKE THE WOMAN WHO CHANGES YOUR DIAPERS.

Is there anything you won't eat?

Chicken? Not a fan of chicken. Unless it's tandoori chicken. Interesting.

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I gotta say, for someone with only seven-and-a-half teeth, you're doing pretty well for yourself.

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Well, I think I've got enough here, so thank you for sitting still long enough for us to get a few photos that don't involve 1) you covered in food from hair to chin, or 2) the back of your diapered butt crawling away at breakneck speed towards the open baby gate gah gah fuck fuck fuck stop. You are really quite the little charmer, you know that? I hope, on your birthday, you get the perfect obnoxiously dangerous ride-on toy of your little daredevil dreams.

PS. Just wait until you try chocolate. Your head will explode and you will instantly become incredibly suspicious because WHAT ELSE ARE THEY KEEPING FROM YOU? BROCCOLI FOR DESSERT? WHAT THE FUCK, WOMAN?

Comments

MissAndra

FIRSTFIRSTFIRST!!!!!

Kailee

Too precious, that one. What a delight!

Granola Spice

He looks more and more like Noah all the time. That smile is just ridiculous!

Jen

I so needed that today. Been a rough one. Thanks, Mighty Ez!

Brenda

Dear God. What an adorable child he is!

Kimberly

ha! Love this. All baby monthly updates/newsletters should be in this format. You mommy bloggers owe the internet that much. ;-)

beth

When did "die in a fire" become such a popular phrase? Why is it supposed to be funny? And in what way is it appropriate to say, even in generalized meant-to-be-humorous blog-apostrophe?

I guess I'm too much of a believer in karma to actually wish a certain kind of death on someone, even jokingly.

Kristi of Million Dream Mom

That kid is WAY too adorable.

Amy

Heart-meltingly delicious!

Kelly

What a handsome little fella!

csc

Oh, what a precious boy.

kim

oh beth. get over yourself. it's hyperbole and it's fun! join us!!

also, amy, thanks for passing the Ez. It makes me dizzy!

MissAndra

Okay, now that I got that out of the way....

I cannot believe how big he is already! Tell him to stop that craziness this instant.
I completely feel you on not wanting to think about the first birthday being so close. My youngest just turned 8months and OMFG STOPITSTOPITSTOPIT NOW. It all just goes by too fast.

Kristen McD

Gah. Love that kid.

Tonya

Too cute!!!! My Ava is three days younger than Ezra and she totally loves the Wii Remote jacket too!! What is it with those things? She has to take it everywhere we go. People in the grocery store look at us kinda weird!

Love you and your blog! Thanks for brightening my day!

caleal

Excellent. I was wondering what His Ezraness was up to.

Too adorable.

Karen

Ahhh, Ezraaaaa. Too cute!!

Perhaps he can come over and teach my little one the joys of eating things other than bananas and cheese. Oh, and the peas. So many peas. Green poop pea....

Sprite's Keeper

Way too adorable! With how agreeable to food he's being, I can't help but wish a small strike of all things vegetable upon your household to make me feel a little bit better about my formerly veggie/meat loving, now refusing anything that isn't breaded or noodled child. But no, that would be mean. And he's too cute to wish any mean things upon.

Belle

omfg, Ezra is your identical twin!!!!! In a much smaller baby-cute version of course. But seriously!! And people that tell you that LOVE America and puppies.

Heather

Too funny about the tandoori chicken. My C wouldn't touch chicken, but tandoori made her swoon. How have you not nibbled his cheeks off yet?

Kat

Thank you thank you thank you! You have officially brightened my horribly, no-good, very bad day! What a sweet little man you have there. I have a new newphew and he and Ezra share an awful lot of adorable habits!

Parsing Nonsense

Seriously, that one's gonna be a heart breaker when he grows up. Which will be in a million years, of course.

Jenny

What a dream boat! Nice shirt!

Missie

Cuteness personified.

And also he looks like his brother in the second pic.

lisa

jeez amy i sure hope you have a lot of phone outlets because the girls are going to be ringing your phone off the hook with those two heartbreakers you have!!


by the way hope is your dad doing?

julie

Too cute

You make adorable children

MKH

What an absolutely gorgeous child! Lucky you.

Molly

woohoo vampire weekend! you have good taste baby boy!

Next time they play at my school you, ez and the wii remote jacket are all invited

Wahkonamama

Oh, I hope when I have some babies that they all eat like Ezra.

I love how he's playing to the camera - so stinkin' cute.

Brooke

Oh how I love Ez! I've already made arrangements for my 8 month old daughter's marriage to him by the way...just thought you should know since we'll be in-laws in like 30 years!

And that second picture? Where he's looking at his hands? Definitely a mini-Noah!

Brooke

Oh how I love Ez! I've already made arrangements for my 8 month old daughter's marriage to him by the way...just thought you should know since we'll be in-laws in like 30 years!

And that second picture? Where he's looking at his hands? Definitely a mini-Noah!

Rachel

So adorable! I can't believe he's almost one!

Maybe you could give us an interview with Noah next?

Katie

So, um, I know I don't comment much, and everything, and I know like it's a whole year away and all, but um, I heard you took Ezra to blogher this past summer, and since Blogher 2010 is finally on the East Coast, allowing me and my ever so adorable toddler (much like your own soon-to-be-toddler) the chance to finally go, I think it would be amazing if you were to bring Ezra (and noah) along so that our little toddlers can become BFF's.

Yes, I think that's a plan.

Audrie

He's absolutely gorgeous.

Emily

So cute, so cute, so cute!

nonsoccermom

Hee! Oh, he's breathtakingly adorable. Truly.

Laurie

Things my son has slept with recently: toothbrush, comb, brush, Spiderman backpack, truck book, various Little People. This is in addition to the usual stuffed giraffe, pig rattle, blanket, other giraffe, and truck. I think I'll try the Wii remote jacket next time he's fussy.

Love love love the interview and can't wait to read an interview with both Ezra and Noah!

Corinne

My husband HATES when you post Ezra stories (or when I read old Noah baby stories in the archives) because they make me want a baby that much more, which he finds frustrating. But seriously! Cute cute cute babies being adorable!

Nanette

My little gal doesn't seem to like chicken either. I'll have to try tandori, which would please my hubby to no end.

I <3 this post, btw. Love, love, love!

supertiff

i spy noah-turtle-face in the second pick!

tell ezra we all said he is wonderful.
(and of course tell noah we think he's quite fabulous himself)
(yes, i feel comfortable speaking for the entire internet. that's ok, right?)

Elaine

I'm blinded by the cuteness. And loving your baby update style...

Alicia

Love the last line. "Broccoli for dessert, WTF?" We've started to feed my son some of the halloween candy we are buying for our large-butt selves (large-butt=pg term). The first time that boy had a bite size hershey's bar his eyes almost popped out of his head. Like "OMG heaven in a dark brown wrapper." And his new sentence is "MORE MMHMM OKAY" as he puts his hands in the candy bowl.

LD's Mom

I LOVE this post. My baby's b-day is in 1.5 weeks and I'm having the same thoughts...

Jamie

Um...those eyes of his are very chocolate like. Must go find something/someone to nibble on. Man is he cute! AND smoochable!

Love the interview, hopefully he will grant them more often.

Starbuck

He's so handsome! Love to see new pictures of that boy.

Kristin

Oh, the mighty Ez is so nom-able!

Barbara

Cute 'n all as Ezra is (and MY GOD with the Cuteness!), I have to reserve my gushing and fawning for Amalah's FANDABBYDOZY writing! You make me LAUGH woman! "...Oh Look A Fork..." HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Trish

YUM. YUM. YUM! That is all. He is so yummy :)

Sheryl

Amy, you've got to read "Little Pea" by Amy Krouse Rosenthal... although it doesn't apply to Ez, it is wickedly funny and WILL do well for your readers with picky eaters ;)

Natalie

oh my god I'm going to melt away in love puddles. Or eat him. or maybe both?

Lisa

Total head-exploding squishy cuteness!

megs

Love the Ez updates. Also love how you negotiate the "changing of the blog" when a new little bundle of potential commentary comes into your life. At one level, the blog retains the style it has always had before N and E. But then it went through such a major shift (in a good way) with the birth of N. And in a lot of ways, life with N is still the major force. E is not as absent, as, say, Ben is from alittlepregnant (a style choice I don't dislike), but he gets a slightly different treatment than N. I think this speaks more to your effort to NOT try to forcefully compare your children or always see one in terms of the other. Does that make sense? I just got home form work and my brain hurts.

Lucy's mom

So I haven't commented in a long while but I was struck by the tandoori chicken. My son wouldn't eat meat in any form until he was 4 years old and we took him to an Indian restaurant. He totally went after all things tandoori, particularly the chicken. When I asked him why he liked it he said "it's red". Makes sense to me....

Della

The end, in particular, amused me, because my son (1) had his first two official bites of chocolate today (not just a crumb off whatever I was eating) and (2) was getting VERY UPSET with us at dinner yesterday AND today because we were KEEPING THE BROCCOLI FROM HIM, more more more more more more and NO, lady, I didn't say MORE rice or MORE baby food, give me more of that broccoli, and I don't care if I DO have a bite in my mouth plus one stalk in each hand, you need to make sure I have MORE broccoli!!

Kathleen

NOM NOM NOM!!! That is one huge pile of adorable. And so much better than the standard baby book! Thank you both for the smiles!

In Ezra-related thoughts- thanks for the blog warning about the ease of opening bumgeniuses.... put kiddo down on a towel in a diaper while I was in the shower, thirty second later had a naked kiddo rolling around the bathroom. Fortunately, no poop involved!!

Alecia

Hilarious! Where can I get that cute t-shirt/onesie??

maria

That picture of him throwing his head back laughing is sssoo adorable and works so well with your interview!! smashing I say!! :)

Dorothea

I don't see how you have time for blogging - do you not spend all of your time chomping on those cheeks?? Also - too true about the chocolate. I kept it a secret from my boys as long as I could and they got that "look" in their eyes when they first tried it - the "I will do whatever I can to get more of this delicious goodness" look.

Dana

He reminds me so much of the photos you posted of Noah when he was this age. They are both adorable, beautiful boys. Lucky girl!

Kylak

Ez is awesome.

Dmom

I just started reading your blog and I love it!!! Those are some cute kids you've got. Please for the love of god, post the one year birthday cake pics. I love those!!!
Comming from a mom with an 8 and a 5 year old...it just goes faster and faster. Sorry. I do love puppies...with a Canadian flag on them {;o)

Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

Goodness, he's cute!

sheilah

He is so gorgeous. I just want to squish his cute little cheeks.

My god you two make beautiful kids!!

Heather

i am a new reader and OMG you are awesome! i'll be coming back.

Natalie

I had to come back and look at Ezra a second time.

ElizabethZ

You are on a roll this week - 2 fantastic posts in a row. I love reading about your little men, I have 3.5 y/o twin boys and 7 month old boy too so I see a lot of commonalities. Love these last two posts so much!

Michelle

What a doll… Hearts are breaking all over the world because of that sweet little face!!

Marianne

Thank you :)

Liz

Awwwwww. A great mid afternoon break for cuteness.

Also reminds me that as a newborn/infant/toddler/small thing with few life skills: I refused to eat fruit. The entire genre. Straight to the chocolate, I say!

Lindsay

I read this post with my six-month-old in my lap and he could not take his eyes off Ezra. He just laughed and smiled and squealed with delight at every new photo. So cute!

Amira @definemature.com

oh, such utter cuteness!

sheesh, I don't know where these kids think they can, like, grow up on us and stuff...

my little stinker will be a year old two months after Ezra and I try to avoid thinking about it too.

Rachael

This was an all around great post. Funny, and oh so cute. He is totally adorable.

schmutzie

After spending some quality time with him at BlogHer, I have to say that I love seeing that button nose again. Kyoo-tee.

Mom101

He's a looker, that kid of yours. Dreamy.

And we also have blabla the Stripey Wondercat who, I think, has some sort of magical powers over toddlers. Thank goodness he fits in a backpack (if you squish him) because we would never get out of the house at times without that small favor.

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