September 03, 2009
Today! I accomplished nothing! Except the continued life-sustaining of two small reckless humans, the consumption of an entire package of American cheese slices, and a small handful of additions to the When You Marry gallery, covering chapters six and seven: Will Yours Be A Happy Marriage? and Wedding Plans. The former is mostly obsessed with warning the Youth Of America about the dangers of marrying someone who is...you know...different than you. Like...church-y different. Or...well, okay, we're just going to use the word "culturally" a lot and hope that you GET OUR DRIFT, OKAY?
The wedding chapter is actually rather boring, as very little has changed in the spectacularly dull world of wedding etiquette. Except for the price tag -- couples who got carried away with their wedding plans could ultimately spend close to $4,000. Take heed, Youth Of America! One day you will instill similar values in your bratty-ass kids and spend 10 times that on a sweet 16 birthday party while MTV tapes your daughter dirty dancing with someone very, VERY different than she is, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
Unfortunately Brenda does not add any commentary to these chapters, so I'm afraid we'll never know if she hoped for a Small wedding in church, home or club or an Informal chapel wedding with her beloved Zion. (Yes, yes, YES, all right, you guys are right, it's very likely Zion and not 2wn, although in my head [and my heart!] I will continue to pronounce Zion as "Two-on," because that's just how I picture him now, okay?) (Sob!)
Love and Sheared Beavers,