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August 2009
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October 2009

The Whole Point

Ezra points at things now. He points at his reflection in the mirror, at me, at the bowl of chopped-up meatballs that I am not doling out fast enough, dammit. Jason walks into the room and point! Pointpointpoint! Today I asked him if he wanted a nap or to go downstairs and play, pointing at each option (perhaps pointing EXTRA JAZZHANDS EMPHATICALLY at his crib), and after pondering his choices he pointed at option C, a teetering pile of empty diaper boxes. Noah...didn't point at things. He didn't use many gestures at all, for a long time, and when the words never came and our doctor recommended sign language to get us over the communication hurdle, I was doubtful. When he picked up dozens of signs practically overnight, I was shocked. And mortified, because my preconceived ideas about baby sign language (i.e., only for the crazy overachieving competimommies, probably bullshit, why would he talk if he can just siiiiign, etc.) had denied him something important. It was a tremendously humbling moment, the first of many. I hate that I do this, by the way, the framing everything Ezra does in the context of Noah. It's so mercilessly unfair to them... Read more →

Magic Bus

Today the school bus dropped a small blondish-sort of child wearing a bright yellow backpack off at our doorstep. The child watched the bus drive off for as long as he could, waving goodbye before coming inside, casually slipping his backpack off of his shoulders. He then requested his most difficult puzzle -- a 100-piece floor puzzle depicting Noah's Ark As Painted By One Of Those Holiday Inn Art Show Artists -- and quietly completed it by himself while I sat on the couch wondering when the bus would come back with MY CHILD. You know, the one who doesn't wear a backpack. Who won't wear a backpack. I watched him step down the bus steps and immediately looked behind him for the aide to hand over his backpack. I was about two seconds away from making an idiot out of myself, lost-sunglasses-on-top-of-my-head style, when I finally realized OH MY GOD, HE IS WEARING HIS BACKPACK. And I stared at Noah and then back at the aide, who had simply slid the backpack onto Noah's shoulders after unbuckling him from his seat, the way he probably does with every other child on the bus. That's the way it goes with... Read more →

And a big yellow school bus took away my little man

And then it brought him back again. (Standard-sized preschooler-dwarfing backpack required by the school. He chose this one because of its color resemblance to YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT.) He made puzzles and there was paint and he ate a snack and snack was pananas and pretzels, yeah, two things! and yellow backpack and then the school bus. THE SCHOOL BUS, MOMMY. The school bus is coming back, Mommy? The school bus again tomorrow again? (It was a little less exciting for us this morning. Something more like your throat collapsing from the inside, once we said goodbye and watched the bus drive off, knowing that he would be met by total strangers on the other end, people we haven't even met yet, ushered into a classroom we haven't seen, the veil of our all-encompassing involvement in everything he does slowly getting drawn, as it will more and more, but oh! not yet, not yet.) (Seeing the [totally non-short, by the way] bus come back around our corner a few hours later was MY favorite part of the day, second maybe only to seeing his delighted face in the window and hearing him gleefully shout "THAT'S MY MOMMY!" to his... Read more →

Year of the Promise

Oh good Lord, what a day. We had our home visit this morning with a bunch of school district people, including Noah's teacher (who I recognized from her Facebook profile, which I felt all sneaky about until I remembered how spectacularly Google-able we all are, so you know what? I'm going to just shut up, except to say that she and Noah had a nice talk about Pixar's Up, and right then and there you could SEE him fall in love with her, like, HARD). Our home visit was supposed to start at 8:30, they arrived at 8:15, and yet I managed to get on one woman's permanent shit list because I took five extra minutes to finish brewing some coffee. Which I was making so I could offer them some coffee, but she terrified me so much that I refused to leave my seat for the entire visit, sitting upright with my hands folded, moving only to pick up an alarmingly large clump of cat hair from the baby's path but then I didn't want to get up to throw out the cat hair and so I panicked and put it in my pocket and then this OTHER woman... Read more →

Ephemera Thursday

Today! I accomplished nothing! Except the continued life-sustaining of two small reckless humans, the consumption of an entire package of American cheese slices, and a small handful of additions to the When You Marry gallery, covering chapters six and seven: Will Yours Be A Happy Marriage? and Wedding Plans. The former is mostly obsessed with warning the Youth Of America about the dangers of marrying someone who know...different than you. different. Or...well, okay, we're just going to use the word "culturally" a lot and hope that you GET OUR DRIFT, OKAY? The wedding chapter is actually rather boring, as very little has changed in the spectacularly dull world of wedding etiquette. Except for the price tag -- couples who got carried away with their wedding plans could ultimately spend close to $4,000. Take heed, Youth Of America! One day you will instill similar values in your bratty-ass kids and spend 10 times that on a sweet 16 birthday party while MTV tapes your daughter dirty dancing with someone very, VERY different than she is, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Unfortunately Brenda does not add any commentary to these chapters, so I'm afraid we'll never know if she... Read more →

The Everything Is Okay Alarm

Oh. Hi! We went away there, for a little bit. Off on an exotic vacation, sampling the various regional delicacies of the Maryland shore. Like sand. And plastic beach toys. I always go back and forth on the whole "tell Internet you're on vacation" vs. "tell Internet you're on vacation and thus your house is empty, the TV is in the living room, jewelry is upstairs, come on over and bust through a window" thing, but this time I simply plum ran out of minutes before we left and didn't get around to updating. And there was no real reliable (and non-forty-damn-dollars-for-two-days-or-something) wifi once we got there. And while I kept MEANING to use my phone to Twitter or Facebook, I just never managed to get around to it, what with all the crazy important sitting-on-my-ass that needed to be done. Actually, there was one time, one afternoon, while both boys napped under the careful eyes of relatives ("As thanks for the essentially-free beach vacation and for making us pancakes every morning, we present: OUR BRATTY CHILDREN. They both like macaroni and need occasional watering. Bye!"), that Jason and I managed to catch some stray wifi from a nearby hotel.... Read more →