When You Marry
Ephemera Thursday

The Everything Is Okay Alarm

Oh. Hi! We went away there, for a little bit. Off on an exotic vacation, sampling the various regional delicacies of the Maryland shore. Like sand. And plastic beach toys.


I always go back and forth on the whole "tell Internet you're on vacation" vs. "tell Internet you're on vacation and thus your house is empty, the TV is in the living room, jewelry is upstairs, come on over and bust through a window" thing, but this time I simply plum ran out of minutes before we left and didn't get around to updating. And there was no real reliable (and non-forty-damn-dollars-for-two-days-or-something) wifi once we got there. And while I kept MEANING to use my phone to Twitter or Facebook, I just never managed to get around to it, what with all the crazy important sitting-on-my-ass that needed to be done.

Actually, there was one time, one afternoon, while both boys napped under the careful eyes of relatives ("As thanks for the essentially-free beach vacation and for making us pancakes every morning, we present: OUR BRATTY CHILDREN. They both like macaroni and need occasional watering. Bye!"), that Jason and I managed to catch some stray wifi from a nearby hotel. Since it was such a precious commodity, we used it to challenge each other to some virtual Texas Hold'em. I apologize for not alerting the Internet to my most-definite state of Alive and Okay-ness, but. Outside straight draw! You understand.

So now we're back and in various states of unpacking. I cannot find my hairbrush, something in the fridge is stinking to high holy heaven and the only news from the past few days that I am aware of is that Michele Duggar is pregnant again. (Today Show: Coming up, the Duggars are here with a surprise announcement! Jason's Aunt: Well, she can't be pregnant again, because that wouldn't be a surprise. That's like, the opposite of a surprise. Amy: True. A surprise would be, "Fuck this, we're getting a vasectomy.") Ezra is discovering new and wonderful ways to injure himself by the minute; Noah is currently wearing his underwear and nothing else, unless you count the stretchy sport headband he has decided is a belt. Right now they are playing tug-of-war with a jump rope and laughing hysterically. I see several ways that this could potentially End Badly, but I am choosing to finally update my blog instead of intervening. 

So. You know. Business as usual, priorities back where they belong and all that. Onward!


Bratty Brenda

Good for you on your holiday. We survive (barely) with no updates....but we still survive none the less

Dawn Diff

Yay for okay! And for the Eastern Shore! Did you bring me some Fisher's popcorn?


I just guffawed loudly at the idea that Old Man Duggar would get a vasectomy.

Thank goodness I work at home or people would wonder what that cackling noise was.


Is it a rule that you have to eat sand at the beach? I didn't get that memo, but the one and only time we took Nathan, he believed it to be quite yummy.

Glad you had nice break.

samantha jo campen

Glad all is well! I was wondering and hoping Ceiba was okay.

Dawn Diff

Or, instead of Eastern Shore, I probably should've said "Downyoshun", but I can't bring myself to do it.


...and also, GREAT Simpsons reference.


SOO happy you're alive. Your funeral would be WAYY too crowded if anything ever happened. Glad you got a vacay in!


I don't think I can adequately explain how much you worried my sister. I mean, I was worried and all, but like a logical person, I assumed you were on vacation.

My sister however has said something like this for 7 days: "Where is Amalah? Why hasn't she posted? Nel, something is wrong with Amalah. I'm getting really worried."

Welcome home!

Megan@Blueberry Scones

I'm glad you're ok!

Sprite's Keeper

Hooray for vacations!
Sounds like a good time was had by all. Did you bring us any souveniers? :-)

Elizabeth C.

I'm glad you're back and OK and had a great vaca! I was thinking about it so much that last night I had a dream that you were pregnant with a little girl. I think this has to do with my own wondering if I'm pregnant but you know I passed it on to you in my dream. My husband thinks I've lost my mind which I probably have! Glad you're back!


Well, we missed you. And yeah, I refreshed a couple times each day, *just* to check. :)

But I'm glad you all had a nice time away.

What did you bring us? :D

Thrift Store Mama

I frequently think, "uh oh, that doesn't sound good" but when nobody is crying yet, I figure it is fine.


Was vaguely worried that Something Awful Had Happened, but, on the other hand, the internetz is full of Very Bad People, so better you don't tell us ahead of time.

all things BD

I can forgive you foregoing blogging in favor of poker, but I cannot forgive the phrase "outside straight draw". If you're gonna go all Rounders on us, please say "open-ended straight draw". This public service announcement brought to you by Matt Damon. (how awesome would THAT be?)


There was a point several years ago when the DC cops were supposed to always have some of their flashing lights going--I guess there had been a rash of people impersonating cops, so this was to point out the real cops. My partner and I called it "the everything is okay alarm." Very shortly thereafter, many of the cop cars were driving around with at least half their lights burned out, to which we would say, "but it does break easily."

Aunt Becky

Sitting on your ass is a severely underused commodity. WHATEVER THAT MEANS.


Glad you are back. The internet missed you!


Yay! Vacation!

Also, is it just me or are the Duggars the most annoying story ever. Today Show, I don't care. Also, I kind of wish that they and all their offspring stopped multiplying. Hey newsflash to the Duggars, the world is already plenty over populated. I would happily foot the bill for the big snip just to never hear your name again.



"A surprise would be, "Fuck this, we're getting a vasectomy."

As my FIL likes to say, it's funny 'cause it's true.

(And I'm glad you had a nice vacation. Yay for vacation!)


Was worried but saw your twitter today. Glad all is well. Is Noah starting at that school despite the extra fees that didn't disclose?


I would definitely not waste precious wifi on an update. I'm really just glad that there was no tragedy and ya'll were just out having some fun.


phew! glad to hear you're ok...i was thinking worst case scenarios stuffs and missing you. Glad to hear you got in some good beach time though.


omg some people can't afford free beach vacations whooooooor

(Oh god, was I sarcastic enough for you to know I'm joking? I'M JOKING! Glad you had a nice time.)


*snicker* Yeash, the Duggers....and yet THEY have the nerve to say this pregnancy was a surprise. WTF? Do they not know what causes that by now?


Yay for vacation!

Holy shit...another Duggar. Did you know they are going to be grandparents before the 19th baby is born.

Grizzly Kitteh

Hooray for vacations! I think more people should spend random weekends with family in another region...

Isn't it ridiculous how expensive "renting" wi-fi is? If it costs them $40/month plus the cost of a wireless router, how can they justify charging $10/hr?


I love how you tell your story....it never fails to make me smile!!


Seriously? She's pregnant again?

Vagina: It's not a clown car.


I love you for that everything is ok alarm reference. Next up? A makeup gun review on the Advice Smackdown.


I just have to tell you how much I love your random Simpsons references. Between this and the regnerating pig in the garden of Eden mention we could totally get along in real life. Is it bad that my 2 year old knows all the Simpson characters names? Her favorite episode is when Maggie is in the daycare while Marge does Streetcar! Everytime Maggie frees the pacfiers from their locked cabinet she stands up and cheers. Cracks me up.

And yah those Duggar people need to stop already. Their first grandkid will be older than their youngest child. Messed up.


Yay! I'm glad that you're back. It wouldn't be a take a "vacation" if you posted (worked)! (I can say that now, now that I know that you're okay and I can stop hitting "refresh" to see if there is a new post!)
How is Ceiba?
I love that photo of scrumptious Ezra! I love how his hair is growing out!


I mean, "it wouldn't be a vacation if you posted (worked)" Gah, somebody needs a vacation!


I needed this post to end:


(Am fretting about an internet dog, yes. An internet dog to *me* but a real dog in any case.)


So glad you are back and okay, and hope you didn't just PLAY poker, but that you WON it!


The woman's insides are going to fall clear out of her body one of these days.

Looks like a fun vacation. Please post more beach pics!





If you can mention missing hairbrushes without singing, you need to watch more veggie tales.


It's downright refreshing to hear that "vacationing" is not dead forever after children. Now if I can just wrangle up some unsuspecting relatives.

Welcome back!


The underwear and stretchy sports head band as a belt look sounds adorable...I know it is when I wear it.


Who has time to keep up with how often someone posts? I barely know how long it has been since I last posted! LOL.

Sounds like a good vacation!


Well that you for letting us know that you were NOT lying in a ditch, gasping for air..GOD DAMN IT!!
Okay, I become my mother more and more each day..I am ashamed...*awkward internet hug*


and *thank you*..even..I was so mad, I forgot my basic spelling skills


Sounds like a good time was had by all! That's the most important thing anyway!

Welcome back!


Just wondering....I usually like to look at the places you advertise...What's with the Girl's Underwear Photos link? Sounds a little nasty to me!

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