The Bacon Poler Express
First Draft Jumble

When You Viral

Wow. Okay. So.

The When You Marry book thing (album? commentary? no, I think "thing" was just about right.) took quite a tour around Teh Interweb last week -- first on Sociological Images, which Kelly tells me means that I am Officially Important to Sociology and Stuff, then to Jezebel (thanks for the link back to the original site OH WAIT NEVER MIND), and then a bunch of other blogs, culminating over the weekend with a front-page mention on Fark, the web's premiere depository of stupid, pointless, too-much-time-on-our-hands bullshit.

This mostly means that I am 1) kicking myself for the massive monetizing FAIL of dumping the scans into Typepad's ad-free photo album format, and 2) absolutely drowning in emails from people who want to tell me their theories about Brenda's boyfriend's name.

As was established pretty quickly in the comments on the first batch of scans, his name is likely Quin or Zion, as I clearly haven't written in proper cursive handwriting in full-on decades now. But I am not sure what I'm expected to do with this information -- find them on Facebook? Classmates.com? Travel to Edinboro, Pennsylvania and attempt to track down the D.C. Heath and Company publishing representative from the front inside flap and figure out what high school this book originated from? And then scan the attendance records to figure out if there was indeed a possibly interracial couple with a possible out-of-wedlock mixed-race baby who went on to live happily ever after In Spite Of Everything & Cultural Mores Of The Time & Also That Judge In Louisiana? Or at least whether they got an A in the class? I DON'T KNOW. But now I feel like I am letting the Internet down because I don't have a conclusion to the story. I should probably upload the last couple chapters, at least.

Anyway. Hello, 15 minutes of Internet fame! You are delicious, yet ultimately hollow, ranking a few notches below stealing chocolate Easter bunnies from my children. I have two of them, by the way, in case you're new to the blog. I don't think I mention them in the book scan commentary anywhere. Probably because there were no ads. I mean, Christ, what's the point then? You think I had kids to save my marriage, or something?

I spent the weekend visiting family, blissfully unaware that my site was threatening to buckle under the weight of all those extra eyeballs, celebrating the boys' birthdays with my parents (who are doing super-well, by the way, thank you to everyone who has asked) and siblings and nephews and approximately 4,504,092 SQUAWKY BEEPY BLINKY BOOPY BATTERY-OPERATED TOYS. 

Oh, and. Also. Listening to Ezra say his first words.

*pulls sweater neckhole over face, bites fabric from the inside, realizes too late that's it's fucking angora, desperately tries to remove coating of wool from tongue*

On Thursday, Jason managed to half-convince me that Ezra's wails of MAMAAAA, MAAMAAAAA! from his crib were actually deliberate, as opposed to just some horrible proof that the word "mama" just happened to originate from the horrible bleating sounds babies make when they cry. I remained skeptical, even after Ez threw in a finger-point. MAAAMAAAAAAAAAWAAAAHHHwhatever.

On Saturday, he said "outside." Multiple times, in front of multiple corroborating witnesses (but not nine different camera angles, because although we brought three cameras, we forgot at least one vital piece of each one, including batteries, memory cards, and chargers), while plastering himself against my parents' sliding glass door. OWS EYE! OWS EYE! Then he decided to lick the glass for awhile. HE IS CLEARLY A GENIUS.

He will also point to a mirror and identify himself as "Zah." 

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MOMMYBLOGGER OUT. *drops mike*

Comments

Karen Chatters

Saying "outside" is very impressive. Courtney's first word, after mama, will be "beer". Followed by: Get me a... I'm sensing we're pretty close.

Jen L.

Zah! He's so precious.

MissAndra

OMFG OUTFIT WHERE DID YOU GET THAT OUTFIT?! Sorry, got a little excited... but seriously I need that for my 9month old. I can't believe he's talking! He's the baby. he's not supposed to learn to talk. Did no one explain to him The Rules of Being The Baby?

lisa

Zah is MY new favorite word!!

Natballs

Zah!!!!!!!
I love him. I'm going to eat him If I were Zah I'd want to lick myself too.

sheilah

I think he's just reacting to the prison stripes.

"Let me out!! Let me out! Wait, is this food? Damn, it's not!!"

Amalah

MissAndra - As usual, it's Old Navy. We have it in multiple colors (and in the next size up) because OMFG BABIES IN STRIPEY ROMPER THINGS kill me.

TheGoriWife

Why is your baby a prison inmate? What a cute little lawbreaker, though :)

Billygean

Ah he looks like a little burglar!!

LPC

Yeah. Good thing you dressed him in convict clothes, given that you were clearly depriving him of his freedom:).

Parsing Nonsense

Congrats on going viral! Also on Ezra's first words. My nieces both licked the sliding glass door when they wanted to go outside.

Just in the interest on Science, I licked it too to see what the fuss was about. It's actually a very appealing texture...

Anya

Such a cute little guy. "Outside" is such a good first word. He is going to be a little adventurer!

lawyermama

I saw this on Jezebel and got inappropriately angry that they didn't link back directly to you!

Also, your little Zah is ADORABLE. and so is Noah.

Suzy Q

Glass. Yum. Think I'll go lick me some right now.

Do you still read your comments now that you're all "popular" and shit?

Raanne

I was wondering when I started seeing all sorts of links to that book. A little momentum, and then everyone starts linking to it!

Sprite's Keeper

As long as he's not licking cold metal, it's all good. Yay on the wordage!

Bea

Ezra looks like a little prisoner - with his striped suit and yelling 'outside'.

Aww, who's the cutest little jailbird? You are! Yes you are!

Jo

I am laughing hysterically picture Ezra licking the window- SO something my son used to do! AND I am tearing up that he knows his name and can name himself in the mirror- heartbreaking in the good/cute way!

Caroline

I like his prison pajamas : )

Maxine Dangerous

He needs a tin sippy cup to bang against the bars of injustice. ;)

Bill McNutt

You know, if you're interested in tracking down Zion and his note-taking lady, you could foist those questions off on volunteer researchers. I'd be interested in reading what they found you. I'll be you if you called for volunteers to be substitute stalkers, you'd get some.

Bill

Megan@Blueberry Scones

Yeah, I was so ticked off when I saw that on Jezebel! I was all "Why no linky-love?!"

eva

My 22 month old daughter can't say her name (Megan), and definitely never has while looking in the mirror. Ezra clearly = genius!

Ris

I saw that on Jezebel too and was all waaaaait a minute I've seen this before yeahhhh on Amalah! I was also properly outraged on your behalf.

Val

holy wow, your kid looks just like you. super cute.

Amalah

Suzy Q - Hell no. I now outsource reading comments to my imaginary assistant.

MommiePie

I think he's kissing his reflection in the window because he's so darn cute...in a bad boy, lawbreaker sort of way. He's like the next generation Fonzie except he's *The Zah*!

Starbuck

When I got the tweet about talking, I was all "pshaw! talking? no way. maybe some advanced babbling but surely no talking."

I stand corrected and also a little fearful for you and Jason of this genius who is obviously so much smarter than we know.

beyond

zah looks really cute in stripes.

Lisa

Wow! Totally impressive! My baby is a few months behind, and she just does the crying mamamama.

Susan

LOVE THE JAILBIRD OUTFIT. I was a little disappointed that the stripes turned out to be brown instead of black, but I'll get over it.

We think Snackbox took his first unassisted step this weekend, but we're not gonna talk about it - no sirree bob. If I don't tell the grandmas, then it never happened.

another Amy

That book was published in Edinboro? I went to Edinboro University of PA! (Don't look up their website. Your eyes will bleed. Seriously, I can't figure out how a school with a decent sized art department can put on such a hideous public appearance.) I grew up 20 miles north of there! But I was born 16 years after it was published, so I didn't get to use it for any classes or anything.

txtingmrdarcy

Just so we're clear, your blog is the Anti-Birth Control. My best friend and I had at least ten minutes' worth of "I want a baby," "No, I want one!", "Let's get preggo together!", "I'm not even engaged yet!", etc.... after your post today.

Keep the gooey baby stories coming. :)

Miriam

So he's "The Mighty ZAH" now?

Amanda

DUDE. Let ME be your imaginary assistant. Seriously, I would own the hell out of that job. Put me in, coach.

And wtf is Ez doing TALKING and stuff? That's not allowed. He's the little one. You tell him to stop it right now.

Whimsi

Dude, I can totally see an address in one of those photos.

Love the little jailbreak looking outfit. He's adorable.

Meighan

I live in Edinboro, PA and work at Edinboro University. Come and visit our lovely town and we can do a little research together. Open invite to find Zion and his lovely lady...

Kendra

Oh, he is so cute! I love the window licking, and he is clearly a genius! "Zah" indeed! I'm glad your parents are doing well--and I look forward to learning that Brenda's best friend is actually one of your readers, and she emailed Brenda a link to your blog with a question, "Does this look familiar to you?" and then Brenda decides to share the rest of the story with you and us and the rest of the world.

Because in my world, all stories must have endings. If they don't happen on their own, we make them up.

becks

I bought that same outfit for my son 3 weeks ago!

kellyannecat

Even though you didn't have ads on that photo album, I'm sure all that extra traffic means that you'll be picking up more long-term readers, so, yay!

"Zah!" That's the cutest thing in the world, ever.

bessa

So is it bad that I read you on an RSS reader? Do you not get "credit" for me being a reader?

Kathy

Genius? How could he not be with that face? They should go ahead and give him the Nobel Prize for..., well, something he is CLEARLY going to do in the future.

Jamie

I am just glad Zah is wearing pants :).

Oh, and my 18 month old just points at the "baby" in the mirror. Yea, kid that BABY is YOU!

shriek house

Not only is he a genius, but he is wearing THE most adorable baby prisoner outfit EVER.

Kristy

I'm from Louisiana. I'm a member of the legal community in Louisiana. I live near stupid-poopy-head Justice of the Peace. (Is it inappropriate for a lawyer and grown woman to call his "honor" a stupid-poopy-head?)

I am happy to report our mixed-race children (well, not MY mixed-race children, as my poor babies are pasty white -think Casper - but my friends mixed-race children)are doing fine.

Argh! He is a stupid-poopy-head.

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