And This Was BEFORE They Handed Out the Vibrating Pens

I just got back from a parents' workshop thing at Noah's school. And it was a very useful workshop, really, about how to encourage fine and gross motor development through toys and play at home. I was especially pleased to learn that I can totally do all of Noah's Christmas shopping at the $5-and-under store, along with like, some bubble wrap. The problem started when one of the therapists demonstrated a toy hanging from a doorway, designed to turn a regular balloon into a sturdier punching bag. Another parent requested the brand name, which was Balzac.

"I guess they mean like, ballsack," she said, kindly providing us with a handy mnemonic device, while jiggling the thing idly in the palm of her hand. I choked on the inside of my lung, briefly, before clearing my throat and muttering apologies for startling the grown-ups.

Then we moved on to wheelbarrow walking. A very helpful handout was provided.

 

COME ON.

I mean, COME ON.

 (I will have you know that I behaved BEAUTIFULLY, other than a discreet snort into the edge of my sleeve, AND two whole other mothers actually talked to me afterward, voluntarily and everything. It's working! I am totally blending in! I have them all fooled! Mwa ha ha.)

(Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go collect some textured items and hide them in a shoebox. And cut a hole...in the box...and...)