Thrilling! Christmas Recap! But Only Kinda!
Year of the Tigerdog

Watch Out, Tiny Town



No, seriously. That was my attempt at an entry yesterday. I sat down with the best of intentions and at least seven different topics rattling around in between and I did that dramatic arm-stretch-finger-wiggling thing and typed two whole letters. The? That? They? I don't even remember.

Despite officially taking his first tentative steps a couple months ago, Ezra -- driven by the urge to either keep up with Noah or avoid getting trampled by him -- still mostly crawled everywhere. Until, like, Monday. Now he really and truly walks, FrankenThriller-style, all over the place, shrieking gleefully at the top of his lungs. LOOK AT ME, he says, HOT SHIT COMING THROUGH.*



*Sounds more like AY YI WOW ZA EEEEEE, but I'm a pretty good translator.

**Also, yeah, that's our recalled Maclaren lurking ominously in the background of those photos, still waiting for the replacement hinge cover doohickey things. I told Ezra if he touches the Christmas tree the stroller gets to eat his fingers.***

***OH, that wasn't funny at all, I know. And yet I am leaving it there, because I am a horrible person.


Since I spent my actual birthday in the car, in traffic, coming home from Pennsylvania, Jason decreed Tuesday to be my Birthday Celebration Day and made me a couple spa appointments (using a dusty old gift card I've had since last Mother's Day, such is the force of my procrastination). The highlight of this outing was me mistyping my locker code before closing it, a mistake I did not discover until I was done and relaxed and oily and awkwardly crouched in a too-big robe, cursing the tiniest keypad you've ever seen, trying every likely typo I could think of, while other women attempted to help. "DID YOU HIT THE C BUTTON? WHAT ABOUT THE ONE WITH THE LITTLE KEY ON IT? TRY THE NUMBERS NEXT TO THE NUMBERS YOU THOUGHT YOU TYPED. SEE, THAT'S WHY I JUST USE 1-2-3-4 FOR EVERYTHING NOW."

And as if the luxury of a massage and facial weren't enough, afterward I indulged in the ultimate in personal pampering: I did not go straight home, but instead went out for lunch and shopping all by myself. Which, before the sans-offspring among us get too excited, really just meant a burrito bowl at Chipotle followed by some halfhearted browsing of the clearance racks at Banana Republic and getting upsold on my moisturizer at Sephora because "this one has anti-aging benefits!"

But still. No stroller. No diaper bag. No looking down at your only half-finished stone cold burrito bowl because you've just spent 20 minutes keeping your toddler's hands out of the sour cream and imploring your preschooler to just eat the tortilla shell already, you PROMISE that brown part is just part of it and not a microscopic trace of salsa or black beans okay fine I'll just tear it off completely there ARE YOU HAPPY NOW. No pleading in the dressing room to no stay here stay here don't touch that don't crawl there, oh Jesus, I'm sorry, Very Shocked Lady In The Stall Next To Us Of Who Probably Didn't Need My Son's Input On Those Pants.

And yet. No kids. No babies. Another mom apologizes for her screeching two-year-old in line at The Gap and I immediately rush to over-explain that Oh! I understand! I have been there! I am like you! One of us! I just don't have them with me right now, but hey! This stain on my jeans? Totally very likely barf. God, I miss those little mutants.







And the ad with Dooce in it is terrifying me so much I can't speak.


Happy Birthday, Amy! and Happy New Year!


Happy Birthday, Amy!! And I'm with you on the shopping alone...I got to go yesterday and it was glorious. But by the time I was in the car on the way home, all I wanted was a good snuggle with my perpetually slobbery 9 month old--he's the greatest :-)


"I told Ezra if he touches the Christmas tree the stroller gets to eat his fingers" = AMAZING! First laugh of the day! :)


FrakenThriller! Because I am so the geek, I had the intro the "Thriller" running through my head reading this post.

And that little one? Are you certain you didn't photoshop your picture?

Happy New Year!


This post is very cute! But I am comment-ing because I saw something today that reminded me of a previous post. And I'm lazy.

Seen that?!

Parsing Nonsense

Happy birthday and a very happy new year to you as well!


Hee! This made me laugh out loud.

Ezra is so cute! Like a wee adorable Godzilla.


Happy New Year, Storch family!

We have that stroller too ... and somehow, the little velcro hinge cover dohickeys took like, five minutes to arrive. So... I don't know what the heck is the delay. I'm sorry though. At least you're making the best of it by using it as a threat.


i love the open mouth, so proud look on Ezra's face.

and i almost enjoy being upsold at Sephora. that's pretty much the only place.

Jen L.

Happy birthday and new year! We got our bebeh-finger-savin-hingey-covers, but have yet to install them because we are BAD parents. We rarely use the stroller these days, anyway.
I had glorious all alone shopping this week, too. Isn't it the best? The low point, however was when I realized the woman waiting behind me to go into the dressing room was almost definitely going to try on panties because that was all she was holding. Is that not illegal? GAH.




Happy Birthday, and Happy New Year! You brighten my day every time you write...Thank you!

ps. I think you are totally funny!


Admittedly, it's been awhile since I've visited your site, but I have a good excuse in that I gave birth. So there. Um, anyway, just wanted to say that in the few weeks I've been away Ezra has changed so much! He looks wonderful, and watching his progress makes me feel so much encouraged about how great it's going to be, this parenting gig. You know, once I get used to the sleep deprivation. Happy birthday! And happy new year!


Oh mi'gosh. He is growing up so fast! And walking! Woo hoo!


Happy New Year and way to go Ezra!



So glad you enjoyed your birthday outing.

Happy New Year!



So glad you enjoyed your birthday outing.

Happy New Year!


Happy birthday! Ezra got all big for Christmas, huh? He looks like a whole new boy.

Kate @ And Then I Was a Mom

Happy birthday. As someone the same age, let me tell you: Thirty-two is just like 31, except farther away from 25 and therefore much less depressing.

Now you tell us: Did you read while at Chipotle? You know that's the ultimate indulgence. Sitting by yourself, reading something with more than 20 words on each page, only requiring maybe three napkins. And didn't you enjoy getting up and refilling your Diet Coke without worrying the kid-stealers were just waiting for you to turn your back? Solo lunch is really a splendid thing.

Kari Weber

Why is it that when we don't have our children... we feel compelled to tell everyone that has kids that we ALSO DO REALLY HAVE kids I am telling the TRUTH! Like, does it really matter whether a complete stranger thinks you are a parent or not? And yet, it is like I just cannot stop myself from all the talking!
Happy birthday, happy new year, good luck with the walking... I don't think my little one is that far behind. Crud.

Lady M

Happy New Year!

Thank you for another year of your brilliant writing and really cute baby pix.


i'm glad that you told Ezra his fingers would be eaten, because today, I told my child that if for-the-love-of-god-he-didn't-stop-sulking-and-walk-with-me-right-now! that a stranger would take him. and then i pointed at an awfully scary man and said "that one." i took comfort knowing there were other moms like me.


Man, Ezra is growing waaay too fast! I swear, didn't you just have him yesterday?
Love the posts! Thanks for the laughs (and sometimes tears!)


A magazine, a burrito bowl from Chipotle and no ankle biters is my dream day to myself. Glad you got some alone time.

Thrift Store Mama

I know those little locker thingies of which you speak. I hate using 1234 because what is somebody breaks in and steals my 4 year old Lane Bryant Jeans?


I used to spend the entire time away from my toddlers missing them. Now that they're 9 and 8, I want to run back and tell that missing-boys Me to just chill and enjoy the moment. You NEED time away to recharge, Girl!
Happy New Years, Amy. You are gonna see Noah making huge strides this year, and Ezra will continue to amaze. (I will warn you that during huge growth spurts, processing growth stops and can reverse. But IT COMES BACK! I PROMISE! Remember This.)


My God you are funny!
Thank You. Just Thank You.


Happy birthday and Happy New Year!

And I think I snorted at the description of restaurants and dressing rooms with kids. For not only do I have three of my own, but they are also picky escape artists, and I also feel compelled to describe them to the weary lady at the Gap who doesn't care that this is the first time in months I've been anywhere without them.


Happy New Year! Looks like Ezra's gearing up to make 2010 plenty fun for you.


Don't you just love how you can thoroughly enjoy a day to yourself and STILL miss the kids? It was a foreign concept to me until I had a little mutant of my own.

Happy New Year!

Big Gay Sam

Happy New Year and Happy Birthday! :)


Oh yes oh yes oh yes. I have been known to sit for multiple hours in the balcony of a McDonald's with french fries and a book and to call this a truly FABULOUS day. Because I was ALONE!


Ooh ooh, Target will take back your Maclaren (no receipt, no box, no nothing) and give you store credit if you want. I didn't even buy my Triumph there but returned it after the recall for more than I paid (a good $50 more). Got a City Mini instead and like it better anyway.


Wow! He's walking!

Happy New Year, Amy.


I think I'm going to eat Ezra's fingers myself! So nom nom delish, he is. And those little legs in those jeans! Walking!!! Go Ez!!

Happy Birthday, btw. Mine's on Monday and I plan on spending it with my little dude, probably grabbing him by those little legs every 5 minutes, "no, you can't crawl into the dishwasher honey", "let go of the piano chair", "how did you get stuck under the sofa?!" (although I'm glad it's just the starting-to-crawl phase instead of starting-to-walk phase, I and my house are NOT ready for that!!)


Your birthday events sound like pure heaven to me. I'ma see if I can orchestrate that for next year.

Because if I did it on a day that wasn't my birthday I'd feel GUILTY.


Happy New Year, Amy. And also, happy birthday and Merry Christmas and everything else happy happy joy joy.

I usually read your blog on my Kindle, so I don't generally see the comments. But I was just looking over the last few posts (specifically the train track/snowdays entry), and I just wanted to say that, despite some people who must be really constipated and have terrible lives, YOU ROCK, and so does every f-bomb you plant in this blog. As someone else said, please just keep being who you are, and we will continue to read your stuff and love you and your adorable family to bits and pieces. And that's all I have to say about THAT.
Love ya.


I always feel a little guilty when I'm at the mall by myself and I see some exasperated, sweaty mother at the store with her kids. I kind of give them a sympathetic "mom club" look like, "dude, I KNOW."

And then I walk away and I think. SUCKER!!!!


Happy New Year, and Happy Birthday, Amy!

Re: the stroller/christmas tree comment to Ezra- fantastic! My mama once told me that a shopkeeper would use the giant display scissors to cut off little girls' hands who touched the merchandise (in a shop where you used littler scissors to cut hanging christmas tree ornaments from the ceiling to purchase), so I find nothing wrong here. HEE!


Thanks for letting us peek into your world HAPPY BIRTHDAY & A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU & YOUR FAMILY>>


Sister mercy, time passes (when they are someone else's kids!) Happy new year to you and yours, girlfriend.


Happy birthday and Happy New Year. Here's to more awesome/hilarious things happening in 2010!


Oh yeah...Evan was just like that on the walking stuff. He was cruising for MONTHS, he would take a step or two, but the walking? Not so much. Then all of a sudden he would walk everywhere. Kind of like a lightbulb (if you watch carefully you might even have seen it go off over his tiny little head). Yeah! I can walk!

Ezra is adorable, of course. But then you knew that, didn't you?


Go Ezra! Looking forward to more antics in 2010 and if I am lucky, more hilarious microwaved foods.


Happy Birthday! How do you feel about that specific stroller? I am in search of one for newborn + and need to find a good one that is light and compact. I am going to be new to the mommy thing. Also you mentioned wanting to try the Gro baby cloth diapers in Advice smackdown. Did you and how werer they in comparison? thanks for the help!


spa, chipotle, upsold at sephora, loud kids at the gap and clearance racks at banana. methinks you were in my neighbohood. dang! I missed an amalah sighting! did you partake of a coffee at the world's slowest starbucks next door to the banana? the lines are like soviet era, full of grumbling patrons being denied their rightful, IMMEDIATE caffiene fixes.

happy belated, mine is this weekend. love the recent pet posts, too-I spend way too much time talking to my cat.

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