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Better Parenting Through Abandonment

Why God Invented Photo Cropping

In what is likely little more than further proof that I Do Not Understand Twitter, an entry about our holiday card has suddenly developed a third or fourth life over there, thanks to accounts that seem wholly dedicated to tweeting about...paper goods. Ordered some business cards? Party invites? Cocktail napkins? Put that shit on Twitter, you'll be viral in no time.

Likewise, to further prove that I am nothing but an obedient and impressionable blog monkey, I figured I might as well post the outtakes from that photo session, just so everyone can see what a big fat sham the final result actually was:

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Ezra: Red Flannel Steel!

Noah: CHEDDDD....

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Noah: ...AAARRRRRR

Ezra: HAAAAAAAAAA

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Noah: Invisible Pint of Invisible Beer, About To Fall Off Invisible Barstool

Ezra: Invisible Baby Shot Glass

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Noah: LOOK AT ME NOT SITTING STILL

Ezra: Is Jelus

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Noah: Perfect Gymboree Mannequin

Ezra: Is Staring At Rocks

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Both Of Them: Ready For Their Canadian Buddy Stoner Comedy Film

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Both Of Them: Wait, You're Gonna Mail This To Who? Eeeeee.

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Noah: My Life Is Hard And Full Of Many Injustices

Ezra: I Ate A Bug!

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Amy: I think if I crop out Ezra's helpless dangling legs I could make the stranglehold look a bit more affectionate.

Jason: Tell me again why we can't just send out something from Hallmark?

Comments

Kathleen

Embarassing myself laughing out loud at work. Thanks. "invisible baby shot glass..." Heee!

Kathleen

Ohhh, and I'm first? Thank you, twitter!

TJ

I laughed so hard I actually drooled a little, and then, since I was still engrossed, I wiped it away with my sleeve.

I don't know why I felt like that needed to be a blog comment.

Amber

Number three is just *begging* for someone to Photoshop in the respective beverage glasses! So cute, though, all of them!

Mrs. D

Ohmygod they are so cute in their little flannels I can hardly stand it!

Gymboree mannequin - hilarious!

Tracy

Aw, I needed a laugh today. Thanks.

Big Gay Sam

Now I feel like going outside and chopping down a tree... or maybe I'll just buy a 6 pack of brawny paper towels... :P

Monkey

Ahh, so cute! Love Ezra's I Ate a Bug face.

Mary

I LOVE the outtakes! You should've used those for your card! Hilarious!

Barb

Thanks for sharing. They're beautiful.

Alison

omg. i just laughed so hard I think i woke up the kid.

ugh. :P

Maxine Dangerous

Those are great! :D

Christy

Invisible beer, etc. made me laugh out loud!

Sprite's Keeper

Ah, the outtakes! Love it!

Gretchen

I once made a Christmas card from the bad shots of us trying to get a family picture with the dogs. I thought it was hilarious but mostly people didn't think it was as cute as I did.

Ameya

Ohhh Amalahlala, always with the lolzies. And cute invisibly crunk children.

C @ Kid Things

Your captions, whether about your kids or your dog, are so freakin' hilarious.

Mouse

My son's 1st grade teacher took individual pictures of her students and put them up on one wall. I swear that my son, who is wearing a baseball cap from our alma mater in his picture and hamming it up for the camera, looks like a miniature drunk frat boy. So proud.

We pretty much have to rely on candids since his idea of "smiling" for the camera never looks natural.

ladybughugs

Hilarious.

stacey

i just peed myself.

Dawn

OMG, the captions are just too funny! How do you do it? Am muy jelus of your creativity and funny snark.

Parsing Nonsense

I love the invisible beer shot!

Cindy

You should totally take these outtakes and the exact captions you used and make a Shutterfly photo book out of them. My kids are older and they love funny stories from when they were little - to have the visual play by play there too would be priceless. I can just see Noah and Ezra 10 years from now busting a gut reading that book.

Lauren

"My Life Is Hard And Full Of Many Injustices"

Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JustLinda

Those are the cutest little lumberjacks I ever saw!

I am the mother of 5 and there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not thankful for digital cameras. Although, I'll admit that many of the FAIL shots end up becoming my favorites.

Marianne

... trying to NOT get into trouble for laughing out loud at work. Omigosh!

jennifer

hilaaaaaarious, Amalah. I sort of like that you can tease your kids a little. they are cute buggers for sure.

hope your holiday was a good one.

xo
jen (who used to mess with TX)

eva

YOU MENTIONED CANADIAN STONER BUDDIES!!!! Any mention of Canada or Canadians anywhere by non-Canadians always = instantly huge ratings in Canada.

lorrie

Okay, I cracked up!!!!

Natballs

Jonah has the same hat! I'm in love with his grizzly man hat!

Crystal

elsinore!

So flippin' cute, btw :-)

Heather Ben

funny...

Bachelor Girl

These children and their hats make my ovaries twitch.

Moleskine Mama

1) Almost choked on my gum laughing at the "I ate a bug" caption. (And then immediately thought of Casey Affleck in Good Will Hunting)
2) I have a 4 month-old daughter, but seeing your adorable children all the time in your posts makes me want another one. like. right. now.

mrsmouthy

They bring a lot of class to the term "hosers," though.

Rick @ Tiny Prints

It's like deja vu seeing these photos again, nice! I'm partial to "I ate a bug" because it's a common comment from my 3 y/o son who thinks it's hilarious to say such things as a joke.

Madeline

oh puleeeze, I really hope you sent out the "hug you to DEATH" shot. The off beat ones are always my favorites!

Kristin

I freakin' love photoshopping! Your card rocks!

kelly

You are killing me with these outtakes (and, more to the point, your descriptions thereof). I'm going to look at them again so I can laugh some more.

sam {temptingmama}

Dude. I peed a little. And snorted. The beer bottle and shot glass KILLED me. OMG!!!

sarah

Couple things:
1. I mentioned the word "shutterfly" on Twitter once when talking about some much needed baby photobooking therapy after a long and crappy week - and Shutterfly freaking loved it. If only I knew how to abuse that...
2. Cropping is indeed a gift from the gods. I use it often and people think I just magically know the first thing about framing shots. Or something.

Enjoyed the Christmas card. Two cuties you have there.

T.

So cute! I have a series of outtakes like this of my children framed in a photo-strip holder that goes, not kidding, from ceiling to floor.

lynn

you had me at "invisible pint of invisible beer..." you have to frame these or make a shutterfly book! hee! hee!

Amber

They are too cute.

We are huge fans of Gymboree over here.

Della

HA, thank goodness. At our house, the only choices WERE outtakes, we didn't get any money shots, so consider yourself lucky!

Voting for invisible beer/shot glass as favorite outtake + caption. You should officially ichc caption it.

alyssa

I think you need to send the pictures to Hallmark -they will want to use them too cute!

aibee

HAHAHAHAHAA!!

Priceless.

:)

Rachel

HAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Tears are rolling down my face from the laughter... Love these!

Krysten

Hehe, you're totally making me giggle.

adhocmom

I am both terrified and baffled by twitter. So scary.
x
Paula
www.adhocmom.com

Leslie

Winter hats with flaps are second only to hats with animal ears on top in my imaginary "Hall of Incredible Cuteness". Adorable pics!

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