Why God Invented Photo Cropping
January 08, 2010
In what is likely little more than further proof that I Do Not Understand Twitter, an entry about our holiday card has suddenly developed a third or fourth life over there, thanks to accounts that seem wholly dedicated to tweeting about...paper goods. Ordered some business cards? Party invites? Cocktail napkins? Put that shit on Twitter, you'll be viral in no time.
Likewise, to further prove that I am nothing but an obedient and impressionable blog monkey, I figured I might as well post the outtakes from that photo session, just so everyone can see what a big fat sham the final result actually was:
Ezra: Red Flannel Steel!
Noah: CHEDDDD....
Noah: ...AAARRRRRR
Ezra: HAAAAAAAAAA
Noah: Invisible Pint of Invisible Beer, About To Fall Off Invisible Barstool
Ezra: Invisible Baby Shot Glass
Noah: LOOK AT ME NOT SITTING STILL
Ezra: Is Jelus
Noah: Perfect Gymboree Mannequin
Ezra: Is Staring At Rocks
Both Of Them: Ready For Their Canadian Buddy Stoner Comedy Film
Both Of Them: Wait, You're Gonna Mail This To Who? Eeeeee.
Noah: My Life Is Hard And Full Of Many Injustices
Ezra: I Ate A Bug!
Amy: I think if I crop out Ezra's helpless dangling legs I could make the stranglehold look a bit more affectionate.
Jason: Tell me again why we can't just send out something from Hallmark?
Embarassing myself laughing out loud at work. Thanks. "invisible baby shot glass..." Heee!
Ohhh, and I'm first? Thank you, twitter!
I laughed so hard I actually drooled a little, and then, since I was still engrossed, I wiped it away with my sleeve.
I don't know why I felt like that needed to be a blog comment.
Number three is just *begging* for someone to Photoshop in the respective beverage glasses! So cute, though, all of them!
Ohmygod they are so cute in their little flannels I can hardly stand it!
Gymboree mannequin - hilarious!
Aw, I needed a laugh today. Thanks.
Now I feel like going outside and chopping down a tree... or maybe I'll just buy a 6 pack of brawny paper towels... :P
Ahh, so cute! Love Ezra's I Ate a Bug face.
I LOVE the outtakes! You should've used those for your card! Hilarious!
Thanks for sharing. They're beautiful.
omg. i just laughed so hard I think i woke up the kid.
ugh. :P
Those are great! :D
Invisible beer, etc. made me laugh out loud!
Ah, the outtakes! Love it!
I once made a Christmas card from the bad shots of us trying to get a family picture with the dogs. I thought it was hilarious but mostly people didn't think it was as cute as I did.
Ohhh Amalahlala, always with the lolzies. And cute invisibly crunk children.
Your captions, whether about your kids or your dog, are so freakin' hilarious.
My son's 1st grade teacher took individual pictures of her students and put them up on one wall. I swear that my son, who is wearing a baseball cap from our alma mater in his picture and hamming it up for the camera, looks like a miniature drunk frat boy. So proud.
We pretty much have to rely on candids since his idea of "smiling" for the camera never looks natural.
Hilarious.
i just peed myself.
OMG, the captions are just too funny! How do you do it? Am muy jelus of your creativity and funny snark.
I love the invisible beer shot!
You should totally take these outtakes and the exact captions you used and make a Shutterfly photo book out of them. My kids are older and they love funny stories from when they were little - to have the visual play by play there too would be priceless. I can just see Noah and Ezra 10 years from now busting a gut reading that book.
"My Life Is Hard And Full Of Many Injustices"
Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Those are the cutest little lumberjacks I ever saw!
I am the mother of 5 and there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not thankful for digital cameras. Although, I'll admit that many of the FAIL shots end up becoming my favorites.
... trying to NOT get into trouble for laughing out loud at work. Omigosh!
hilaaaaaarious, Amalah. I sort of like that you can tease your kids a little. they are cute buggers for sure.
hope your holiday was a good one.
xo
jen (who used to mess with TX)
YOU MENTIONED CANADIAN STONER BUDDIES!!!! Any mention of Canada or Canadians anywhere by non-Canadians always = instantly huge ratings in Canada.
Okay, I cracked up!!!!
Jonah has the same hat! I'm in love with his grizzly man hat!
elsinore!
So flippin' cute, btw :-)
funny...
These children and their hats make my ovaries twitch.
1) Almost choked on my gum laughing at the "I ate a bug" caption. (And then immediately thought of Casey Affleck in Good Will Hunting)
2) I have a 4 month-old daughter, but seeing your adorable children all the time in your posts makes me want another one. like. right. now.
They bring a lot of class to the term "hosers," though.
It's like deja vu seeing these photos again, nice! I'm partial to "I ate a bug" because it's a common comment from my 3 y/o son who thinks it's hilarious to say such things as a joke.
oh puleeeze, I really hope you sent out the "hug you to DEATH" shot. The off beat ones are always my favorites!
I freakin' love photoshopping! Your card rocks!
You are killing me with these outtakes (and, more to the point, your descriptions thereof). I'm going to look at them again so I can laugh some more.
Dude. I peed a little. And snorted. The beer bottle and shot glass KILLED me. OMG!!!
Couple things:
1. I mentioned the word "shutterfly" on Twitter once when talking about some much needed baby photobooking therapy after a long and crappy week - and Shutterfly freaking loved it. If only I knew how to abuse that...
2. Cropping is indeed a gift from the gods. I use it often and people think I just magically know the first thing about framing shots. Or something.
Enjoyed the Christmas card. Two cuties you have there.
So cute! I have a series of outtakes like this of my children framed in a photo-strip holder that goes, not kidding, from ceiling to floor.
you had me at "invisible pint of invisible beer..." you have to frame these or make a shutterfly book! hee! hee!
They are too cute.
We are huge fans of Gymboree over here.
HA, thank goodness. At our house, the only choices WERE outtakes, we didn't get any money shots, so consider yourself lucky!
Voting for invisible beer/shot glass as favorite outtake + caption. You should officially ichc caption it.
I think you need to send the pictures to Hallmark -they will want to use them too cute!
HAHAHAHAHAA!!
Priceless.
:)
HAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Tears are rolling down my face from the laughter... Love these!
Hehe, you're totally making me giggle.
I am both terrified and baffled by twitter. So scary.
x
Paula
www.adhocmom.com
Winter hats with flaps are second only to hats with animal ears on top in my imaginary "Hall of Incredible Cuteness". Adorable pics!