March 09, 2010
Hi! How are you? I'm fine. I mean, I could be drunker, but for now I'm pretty good. Anyway, I would like to bring a possible design flaw to your attention, re: my recent purchase of a set of Crayola Beginnings Washable TaDoodles Crayon Buddies, which holy hell, that's a lot of words about crayons, but I appreciate that you guys probably get pretty excited about crayons. CRAYONS! TADOODLES! I'm imagining a lot of jazz hands happen around your office. Please don't shatter my illusions.
What? Oh. Right. My problem. See, I've got a toddler who is a bit of a mimic. The monkey-see, monkey-do variety. Perform an action once in his presence and he will repeat it, over and over again. This is the very trait that led me to purchase the Crayola Beginnings Washable TaDoodles Crayon Buddies for him, since he very much wants to color alongside his older brother. Adorable! I know! You could already die just picturing it. Feel free to contact me about having them appear in a commercial or something. They're kind of uncooperative little shits sometimes, but you guys have a budget for CGI, right?
What? Dammit! Right. The point. Which is, that to my toddler, THIS:
I trust I do not need to elaborate any further. Do with this information what you will.
PS. Although if you could tell me (approximately) how much longer my child will continue to sneeze and snorf out primary-colored snot, I'd appreciate that as well.